Completely Changed

by Kamisa Cole

  I leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. “If you’re telling me I have a fetish for beat-up guys, I’m gonna punch you.”

  Colt chuckled. “No, not what I was aiming at, but more like… I think this is you coming full circle. Alec went back to finish something, whatever it was, get his things, and was ready to leave that part of him behind. Isn’t that obvious?”

  I blinked. “Maybe, but my mind was kinda occupied with the fact that he might not walk away from that. He’ll be covered in scars from where his skin had been broken and because it wasn’t dealt with right away the deep cuts won’t heal like they should. The doc explained it and I tried to listen as closely as I could so I’d be able to tell him.”

  “Jax assumed something like that was going to happen, and he said the first tattoo your boy wants is on him. Just drop by and the two of them can figure it out.”

  I smiled, wondering what Jax would want to put on Alec’s virgin skin. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Colt nodded and then slapped my shoulder, standing. I did, too, ready to see Alec again and press a kiss to his cheek to remind myself he was okay and alive.

  Funny how all those visitors had made me hopeful for a long future with my Baby Boy.

  ALEC

  I spent days in the hospital, most of them in and out of sleep, but eventually I was strong enough to stay awake for most of the daylight hours. The door to the hallway was partly open because Kash left to grab some tea for me, but he’d been gone longer than I thought. I considered trying to get up when voices reached my ear.

  “Listen to me, Kash.” I knew that voice and I squinted as if that would help me identify it easier. “He keeps calling and he keeps demanding a change. I keep putting him off. When Alec’s back on his feet, you and I need to talk.”

  Gage. It had to be Gage.

  “Changes?” That was Kash, his voice tinged with anger and impatience.

  “He wants the team gone from duty at DiverCity.”

  Silence met that statement and while I knew Kash and I wouldn’t end just because his team was going to be moved, I couldn’t help the angry beating of my heart.

  Kash muttered something and it was too low for me to get.

  “I know, but you not answering your boss’s calls didn’t help, Kash. Maybe you should call him back. I’m…” There was hesitation in Gage’s tone. “I think he wants to split up your group, too. I don’t know why, but it was the way he made it sound.”

  I waited for my boyfriend to curse, to get angry, but there was nothing except the metallic sounds of nurses pushing carts and people trying to catch each other’s attention across the hallway.

  Finally, Kash spoke again. “Do you want to go in and see him?”

  I didn’t know what Gage’s answer was until he pushed into the room and Kash was nowhere to be seen. I strained my neck, trying to see if he was following, but Gage closed the door behind him with a final click.

  “Hey, boss,” I stated, and he chuckled at my lack at enthusiasm.

  “The two of you should be tired of each other by now. Kash hasn’t left your side since you were brought in a week ago.”

  I licked my lips, accepting the mug Gage had no doubt gotten from Kash. “Yes, and it’s going to get him in trouble.”

  Guilt flashed over Gage’s features. “You shouldn’t have heard that. From what his boss knows he’s been at work all this time. His team covers for him, but I think there’s more to it.”

  “Aren’t you glad about it? You weren’t Kash’s biggest fan.” I remembered the day I’d first walked in and the animosity between them, even if it had been one-sided.

  “Well, things change, let me tell you that much. But no, I’m not happy about it. In fact, I’m hatching a plan to make it better for us, to…be a little more independent.”

  That piqued my interest. “Tell me more?”

  “I haven’t even told Kash, and he’s kinda the one whose opinion matters the most. Maybe…you know, maybe you should let the adults talk that out, Baby Boy,” he teased, but I scowled at him.

  “I’m fine with Kash calling me that, but you all? No way. I’m old enough to make decisions and know things, you know? Hell, I think what I’ve been through perfectly qualifies me for adulthood.”

  Gage nodded, looking down at his hands. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I’m sorry. I should’ve known something was wrong when you didn’t show up.”

  I blinked. “Okay? I’m missing something it seems. What’s up? I mean…”

  “I was furious with you for not showing up. I called Kash a couple of times, but he didn’t answer, so I thought the two of you were… You know…”

  I arched a brow. “And did you fire me over this or what? Gage, it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to think. It wasn’t your fault, or Kash’s, that I was in the situation I was for so long.” Kash had told me about the events from the day although I didn’t realize I’d been at my father’s for so many hours.

  Or that I’d been passed out most of that time.

  “Yes, but I should’ve known you wouldn’t risk your job for sex, not when you and Kash were so obviously going strong. Maybe if I had called him earlier, been more insistent, or…”

  “He was with Nash, wasn’t he?” I thought I recalled us talking about that before everything happened, and suddenly I wondered what had been so important Kash didn’t even check his cell until the afternoon.

  Gage combed his fingers through his hair, licking his lips. “Yeah, that was a shock, too. I’m not surprised they didn’t hear their phones.”

  “What was?”

  I clearly was missing something here and Gage squinted at me, trying to figure out if I was lying.

  There was a knock on the door, and I called for the person to enter.

  “Here you are.” Nash didn’t look at me, but that didn’t keep me from staring at him.

  Holy mother of God. “This is like one of those kinky fantasies. Am I dreaming? This can’t be real.”

  Two pairs of eyes snapped to me and I realized I’d spoken out loud. “You have a twin fantasy? I hadn’t realized.”

  Kash came in after Nash and now, with them standing next to each other, I suddenly wondered how I hadn’t seen it before. Hell, I’d considered Nash to be handsome, and if you knew how I thought about Kash it was probably no wonder.

  “This,” Gage stated, finally answering my question about what had been a shock.

  Kash came over and kissed my forehead while Nash just waved awkwardly. “Alec, may I introduce you to my twin brother, Nash?”

  “Freaky,” I whispered, and Nash smirked. He looked as pale as Kash did, somehow broken. “You okay over there, slightly uglier twin?”

  This got him to laugh and I watched Gage, realizing his expression was more serious than it should be. They were best friends, but it seemed there were a lot of unsaid things between them.

  Nash walked closer, looking me over. “You look better. I hear you’ll get released soon?”

  I nodded. “Two days and I can be home again.” And honestly, I couldn’t wait.

  “You’re going home with Kash to begin with, right?” Gage asked, and I arched a brow at my boyfriend, then looked back at my boss.

  “We haven’t talked about it.” I felt Kash take my hand, kissing my knuckles but not saying anything.

  Gage cocked his head, then stood. “Well, either way, I’ll be glad once you’re back at work. Cam is driving me crazy and that’s something I didn’t think was possible. Kash?”

  “I’ll come in later to talk to you. Whatever you have to say, I don’t want to put it off much longer. I need to grab a change of clothes anyway. Nash, call me.”

  Nash nodded, then gave me a soft smile. “I’ll see you around.”

  I agreed, waiting for the door to close behind them, then I turned to Kash. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

  KASH

  “You were kinda out of it,” I reminded Alec and he shifted, stubborn lines forming
on his forehead.

  “No excuse. Now? What’s been going on? Because I feel I missed a lot, even before this.”

  I sighed, wishing I could be anywhere but here. Where my personal life had finally seemed to be falling into place, my professional one was on the verge of imploding. “My boss has been trying to call me, and I’ve talked to him once or twice since the first time your father showed up at the club. After that I just… I don’t know. Pretended to be busy and everything until he started to call Gage at the club, demanding to speak to me. He even showed up there, but Sav told him it was my night off. It was the night you were in surgery.”

  It all just been bad timing, but however Savage had delivered the lie, my boss seemed to have believed him. “Gage seems to have a solution or plan or whatever, and I’m wondering what it is. I need to go back to work the moment you’re out. Besides the fact that I can’t let my team do my job anymore, I…”

  He took my hand. “You’re getting restless.” He didn’t seem surprised and I nodded in agreement.

  “I love being here with you, but all I can think about is some asshole like your father could get into our club, could find his son or daughter there and just… I don’t know. I guess I tell myself I’d recognize them, the abusive parents. And…” I licked my lips, wondering how to mention the next part. “I’m not sure you want to come back to my place after this.”

  His jaw dropped. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice, calm until now, suddenly sounded high-pitched, worried.

  I grabbed his chin, glad that the bruising was fading. “It means my adoptive mother came to visit and I kinda gave her my bedroom for now. She’s been taking care of my apartment and just being very…”

  “Mom-like?” he helped out and I chuckled.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never had a mom that was mom-like. But yes, I guess. She’s been wanting to come and see you, but I figured you’d want to be…”

  “Not wearing a gown with my ass showing?”

  I shook my head with a grin. “Stop finishing my sentences, at least until we’re married. It’s freaky otherwise. Which reminds me, I stopped by your place and picked up some clothes for you. The nurse said you’re strong enough to change, so I’m going to wait while you do.” I couldn’t decide if I wanted him to go and get changed in the bathroom or just do it right here.

  I didn’t need a reminder of everything that was hurt on him, but I needed to see how things were healing. His expression softened. “Would you mind helping me?”

  I grabbed the bag, my throat clogged, while he moved his legs over the side of the bed, looking at me trustingly. I knelt in front of him, remembering the first day I’d ever seen him, and lowered my head to his thighs. He was hurt again, and by the same hands.

  I felt his fingertips dance through my hair, lightly, tentatively. “I wanted to do that when I walked into DiverCity and you knelt in front of me to check my injuries,” he murmured. “I was in so much pain, and I still got hard when you touched me. It was that bad.”

  I met his eyes, seeing love shining in them. “I felt like a pervert wanting you from the first second on. I mean, granted, I was worried as fuck, and I wanted to find whoever had done that to you, but I also wanted to gather you against me.”

  He held my gaze as he untied his gown in the back, pulling it off. He was utterly naked, but bandaged and bruised, and I bit my lip to keep in everything I wanted to say. Instead I reached into the bag and pulled out boxers that I pushed up his legs, kissing a trail up after them. He stood to make it easier, and I sat back on my heels, looking up at him.

  I could all but see the comment he wasn’t making and lowered my lashes. “Alec, you’re injured, and as much as I want to have you come down my throat right now, I know we don’t have much time.”

  Again, his fingers combed through my hair, gentle and sweet, and I wanted to weep with relief. He was okay, he was going to be good and perfect again, and all mine. I leaned forward and kissed all the spots on his stomach that weren’t bruised or cut, rubbed my nose along his skin and then grabbed his sweatpants, helping him into them. My fingers were trembling with how much I wished I could take him home now, hold him and remind him that he’d never be hurt again the way he had been twice before.

  I wrapped my arms around him, still kneeling, and felt how he kissed the crown of my head. “I love you,” I whispered. “Baby Boy, I love you so much. I cannot bear the thought of how close I was to losing you. I…”

  “No, Kash. It wasn’t your fault. At all. You couldn’t have known. And I wanted to prove I was adult enough to make my own decisions, to have you trust me. Look where that landed me. I didn’t even manage to…” He stopped, although I knew what he was aiming at.

  Grabbing a shirt before getting to my feet, I cupped his cheek. “You didn’t need to prove anything to me.”

  Alec shook his head. “Not to you. To me. I needed to know that I could live this life, and I didn’t want to do it with the thought of my father looming over me. I wanted to be free of him once and for all. I was sure he’d be asleep. I should’ve just turned away when I heard him talking to my aunt.”

  At that I blinked while Alec sat back down, clearly exhausted although he hadn’t been on his feet long. “Aunt?”

  He smiled slightly. “I always knew he had a sister, one he hated for reasons I never found out. He was fighting with her on the phone. God, you have no idea how much I wanted to pull the phone from his hand and ask her to call me on my cell. I… I don’t know if she thinks like my father does, and that makes me afraid.”

  “You have family somewhere. Maybe we should try to find them. Do you know her name?” I wanted him to have family because I was sure he was that type of person. “We’ll find them, I promise.”

  ALEC

  My heart couldn’t take Kash’s tenderness, his touches, much less his words.

  “I…” I cleared my throat, choking on my emotions. “I don’t know much, and it’s okay. Promise.”

  He framed my face, his dark eyes roaming over it as if he was searching for something, and in the end, he shook his head as if he hadn’t found it. “Trust me. I’ll do whatever I can to me you happy.”

  And I believed him. He kissed me, slowly, deeply, and I wanted to go home with him, wanted to lose myself in him. “Kash… When we get home, and yes, I’m going with you, there’s one thing I want you to know.”

  He cocked his head, a dark strand falling into his forehead, and I brushed it away. “Yes?” His voice was no louder than a breath.

  “I have to be the bottom. I’ll always want you to claim me and own me. Each time. I don’t care about trying the other way around, but…”

  Kash groaned. “Only you, Alec, could start talking about sex when your best friend is going to show up…” The door opened. “…now.”

  He stood from the bed and I grabbed his hand. “Kash, promise me.”

  He leaned in, licking into my mouth until my body responded to him with every fiber of my being, and I knew what he was doing. “Anything you want, Baby Boy. Anything you want.”

  The need for him was nearly unbearable and I adjusted myself after pulling my shirt over, hating him for leaving when I wanted a few more minutes with him.

  Cam would understand.

  “I’ll be back. Cameron, don’t leave until I return,” he ordered, back to being the old Kash, and I couldn’t help but grin.

  Cam stood by the door, watching me in silence for a moment. I nodded him over, needing him to understand that I was okay. “When Gage asked me if I knew where you were…”

  “Don’t,” I instantly interrupted, not wanting another person to apologize to me for something they couldn’t have known. “It was no one’s fault but my father’s. I swear.”

  He shook his head and took the seat Gage had abandoned earlier. For someone who had no longer any family to speak of—at least none that actively knew me—I’d had a million and one visitors, and I couldn’t say that I minded.

  Even
River had managed to come, although I couldn’t help but think his visit had been about Cam.

  “I’m glad you’re okay. You should’ve seen Kash those first days… Everyone thought he was going off the rails. I think it was Nash keeping him sane.”

  I shrugged. “I’m not surprised. I mean…”

  “Twins. I should’ve known. I always wanted to be in a twin sandwich. And those two didn’t know they were brothers, so it’s kinda double hot. I mean…” His expression changed into one of panic. “I mean, no, I don’t want Kash in my bed. Not really. I think. I mean… I know. He’s taken. I don’t do taken.”

  Which luckily brought me right to the topic River had asked me to bring up with Cam. “Who are you doing?”

  He blinked, and then swallowed. “What do you mean? There’s no one special.”

  I arched a brow. “Do you know River was here? He pointed out you haven’t made it home in a while.”

  He stood, walking away from me, and I realized River was right and there was something wrong with him. “Dory moved out. Did you know?”

  “Oh, a men’s apartment. We can be sitting around in boxers all day, don’t need to shower constantly. We can burp and watch porn together.”

  He arched a brow. “With the straight guy in our apartment? Yeah, right.” Then his expression softened. “You’ll be moving in with Kash, won’t you? You’ve been practically living there until everything happened. You know, after the two of you finally worked things out for real.”

  I drew up a knee, thinking that over. “I’m not sure. I won’t lie, I would love to, but I feel like I should be partly just me, you know? Like… Find the person I am. The person who has no blood-related family. The person who came out gay to his family and has been beaten up twice for it. The person who has a much older boyfriend who’s a freaking tease when he wants to be. I want to know how I’ll be without the baggage of the past hanging over my head. So maybe I’m not.”

  I also didn’t want to leave Cam when there was something so obviously wrong, but that I wouldn’t say out loud.