Completely Changed

by Kamisa Cole

  “Damn, you’re adult.”

  I grinned, then it vanished again. “I think if you’d ask Kash, I’m not. He always thought I’d have to sleep around a bit to find myself.”

  “Ha,” Cam exclaimed. “Try that now and he’ll have any guy touching you by his balls. I guarantee you that. Kash’s all in.”

  Which reminded me… “He said it, Cam. He said the three words.” And I was now sure I hadn’t imagined them the first time I’d heard them.

  “He did?”

  “Yes. And with such reverence, I swear, I felt them down to my toes.”

  Cam nodded. “Good. Very good. That was exactly what you needed. And clearly, he now knows what it means. I don’t think those are words he’s going to throw around lightly.”

  I chuckled. “He better not. I want to be the only one who hears them. Anyway, would you do me a favor? I have some clothes that need washing, and we’re roomies and, when I come back, I’ll kinda need them, and…”

  He hung his head. “Personal maid. That’s why you want to stick around, huh?”

  No, but I wanted to give him the feeling that I needed him in my life, and that I would definitely be staying at the apartment. I hadn’t talked to Kash about it because I also wanted to be at his place, but for now… My friend was more important. After all, Kash and I had a lifetime for the rest.

  KASH

  DiverCity was full when I walked in, and I couldn’t deny how much it felt like home. Gage spotted me, pointing at Cade and then at me, and his colleague nodded.

  ‘Office’, he mouthed, and I nodded, following him, but taking a small detour to talk to Sav.

  “When Alec’s home again, I’ll be back. And I’ll buy you a beer. Or ten. I owe you guys. So much.”

  My best friend grinned. “You can’t pay off that debt with beer, buddy, but I’ll make you my bitch somehow. Why are you here though?”

  I rubbed my lower lip. “Gage wants to talk to me, and I wanted it out of the way before coming back to work. There’s enough to sort out with Craig It Down after I return, so…”

  “We got you. The boss was pissed, but I think Shay and I calmed him down.”

  I slapped Sav’s back. “I owe you,” I repeated, and he nodded, then pointed me toward the office.

  “Stop stalling and go.”

  And I did, making my way to the back where it was much quieter. The first thing I noticed was a cot in the corner, and it looked as if it had been slept on recently. I arched a brow. “You’re not staying here, are you?”

  Gage didn’t even glance at it. “Not me, no. Sit, Kash. This is serious business.”

  I took a deep breath, forcing my hands into the pockets of my trusted leather jacket. “Okay, then let’s cut to the chase. What’s this about?”

  “DiverSecurity.”

  I blinked, unsure if that was supposed to tell me something. “Okay.”

  He pushed a piece of paper over to me. It was written in haste, or at least looked like it. Also… “Is that Piña Colada on the page?”

  “No, Vodka O. I was writing that up while I served. It was a quieter night, but I’m honestly just messy sometimes. Anyway, read it.”

  I tried, but the lines all seemed to flow together. I pushed it back to him. “Would love too, but what’s that word?”

  Gage leaned over the page, brows scrunched up. “It’s… I… Well…” He stared at the lines a few more minutes, then leaned back in his chair with a sigh. “Fine, I can’t read it either. The half-light and the people in-between clearly didn’t do my handwriting any good.”

  I snickered. “Your partners must be glad if they can even read their instructions whenever you hand them out.”

  “Asshole.” The word was missing heat, and I even saw a smile flicker across his lips. “However, business partners are exactly what this is about. I want you to be mine.”

  This time I was sure I’d misheard him. “Me and what business?”

  “DiverSecurity.”

  I could honestly say he’d lost me. “I don’t know what that means. I don’t even know if you’re currently speaking English because it sounds like mumble-jumble to me.”

  Gage rolled his eyes. “I always knew you were slow on the up-take. I want you to quit Craig It Down and have your own security business. Inclusive, like this bar is. And I want you to man the security here, and then expand it. I’m sure there are more LGBTQ-events that will need security they can trust, and more security guards trying to find a job where they won’t be treated like shit.”

  He couldn’t be serious. “You’re joking. I do have some money saved, but…” Why in the world was my heart so damn excited about this idea? I didn’t want it to be. This was crazy. This was unplanned. This was…insane.

  “I’m going to invest in your business, and I remembered Cam saying his roommate is studying business.”

  “River.”

  Gage nodded. “I’ve never talked to him, but I figured it couldn’t hurt bringing in someone new, someone who’s not affiliated with anyone else.”

  I snorted. “Someone who’s ultimately busy with football and studying. What makes you think he’ll help us? I wouldn’t even know how to ask him.”

  Gage pressed his lips together. “He might have already agreed, or so Cam made it sound.”

  This got me to my feet and I started pacing. “You cannot be serious. You’ve already planned this?”

  “I didn’t want to give you a chance to turn me down. Kash, you’re a born leader, and a born boss. You are tough, but fair, and your team would walk through fire for you. I can’t lie, you’re the only choice. And your boss will pull this team from my bar. I don’t want that. Until you have that business up and running, I’ll be paying you as employees of DiverCity. I don’t know how long River will need to get all this set up, to have a working business plan, but… I got asked if I’d be doing live gigs.”

  I combed my fingers through my hair. “And you’re considering it.”

  “I have this guy…” He swallowed, lowering his eyes as he pushed papers around his table, making me think whatever he was going to say next wouldn’t include everything I’d need to know. “Miller Pelican. He wants to do an acoustic concert here. He’s twenty something. And he used to be here a lot. It’s like a thank you.”

  I arched a brow. “But you expect a big crowd.” I’d never heard of the guy but that didn’t mean much.

  “As in…we’ll be charging a high entrance fee because I’m hoping to reduce it, but I hired some of the part-time help we have. Or rather, I talked to them and they’ll be ready whenever. But…”

  “You need a bigger security crowd for that and you want it to be someone you know you can trust. So, gay musician?”

  “Well… Yes, but I don’t think that’s what his company advertises him as. It’s more that he’s pro loving whoever you want to love. If that works, I’m thinking about having one here once a month. Miller Pelican will donate any money he makes to charities helping teens and gender-confused people. You know, all those people who don’t have anywhere go.”

  “I wouldn’t even know how to start a business. I’m not a guy to sit in an office and crunch numbers.”

  Gage shrugged. “You might want to talk to River. And besides… The building next door?”

  I rolled my eyes, albeit smiling. “Let me guess, incidentally, it’s yours and you’d want someone in there anyway?”

  He stood, licking his lips. “Kash, I want you to know that I wouldn’t have proposed this if I didn’t think you were capable of it. I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about this on your own, but let’s face it… Alec pushed you out of your comfort zone and you turned into a different man. I’m doing the same. Tell me right now if you don’t think you can handle it.”

  I stared at him, knowing I didn’t need to think about my answer because my heart and mind were screaming for me to take this opportunity. I knew I had some savings I was ready to pour into this and, with Gage already running a successful busi
ness, I didn’t think anything could go wrong.

  “Let me talk to my team because I’m not gonna do this without them.”

  Relief caused Gage’s shoulders to sag. “Jesus, I was so worried you’d turn me down no matter how prepared I was. Also… I guess we’d better ask River now.”

  I blinked. “You lied to me!”

  He had the decency to look embarrassed. “I just really didn’t want to give you a reason not to do this with me.”

  I shook my head, but then smiled. “I’ve wanted to be out from Craig It Down forever. It just never occurred to me to try being a boss on my own. And also… I won’t do this alone.”

  “Savage?”

  I nodded. “Savage. He’s my best friend, my brother in all things that matter.”

  Gage grinned, pulling out a bit of paper from beneath the pile. This one was more legible. “Savage as partner might be clever,” I read out and then shook my head.

  “You shouldn’t know me that well.”

  He held my eyes for a long moment. “We’re family at DiverCity. You belong to that. And now… Get back to your boy. We’re sorting the rest out when he’s home.”

  Holy shit, this was my life and I could hardly believe it.

  KASH

  I unlocked the door to my apartment. While Alec would be going back to his own place—and me with him, which he didn’t know yet—we’d agreed that his first night out of the hospital would be with me.

  “Remember, she is… Not like you’d expect.”

  And by ‘she’ I meant Caroline, who was dressed in a flowery dress and heels, something I’d never seen back when I still lived with her. Alec leaned in and kissed me. “Breathe, Kash. I’ll be fine.”

  I nodded, not sure if he would be, and exhaled slowly. I didn’t think I’d have to introduce my boyfriend at thirty-one, or that it would make me as nervous as it did.

  “Oh, you must be Alec. I’d say you’re a handsome young man, but I’m assuming my son wouldn’t approve of it because of all your bruises.”

  I scowled at Caroline, but she just winked. God, I so could not get used to the way she was.

  “Thank you. I quite like to think of myself as very handsome. Definitely enough to get your son on his knees on occasion.” Alec grinned, and a groan escaped me.

  “I…” My mother’s eyes widened, then her cheeks colored. “Oh, I get it. Cheeky.” She giggled. Caroline Matchington giggled. I didn’t think that’d be something I’d ever hear.

  She came closer and hugged my boyfriend while I pushed them more into the apartment, not wanting to have the rest of this conversation playing out for the neighbors.

  “Alec, Caroline Matchington, Caroline, Alec.”

  I saw the flicker of hurt in her eyes at me not calling her mom, but that was something we’d have to work up to, no matter how much I wanted it. Until it fell from my lips on its own—basically like the magical three words had in the end—I wouldn’t force it.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Alec admitted and then glanced back at me. “He needs a mother; his manners are sometimes—”

  “Perfectly fine,” I interrupted and shuffled him over to the couch. He had a broken rib we needed to watch out for, but that was the worst of his injuries. I knew there were some parts that still ached on occasion, but all in all we’d gotten away rather lucky.

  Caroline reached out and cupped his cheek, her expression unreadable. “And I’m glad you are here. The way Kash talked about you…”

  Yeah, another novelty I’d probably never get used to, but telling her about Alec, all my worries and things I loved about him, had been freeing. It also had been a test. When I’d come out to the Matchingtons I hadn’t been sure what they thought of a gay son.

  Turned out they hadn’t cared one way or another back then, which was exactly why I’d walked out and never returned. Now my adoptive mother was all kinds of supportive, had even come in with a rainbow bracelet on her wrist.

  Looking at her I was no longer sure I even knew who that woman was.

  “I love him, too,” Alec replied, giving her a smile before reaching out to me. “Sit, you’re making me nervous.”

  I rolled my shoulders, trying to ease the tension. It wasn’t just that my mother was here, but also the fact that even after she was gone there was someone else who was dying to see Alec.

  However, she’d just have to wait a little longer.

  “Well, boys, I know you’re eager to be alone. I put lasagna in the oven. It’ll be done in about forty minutes.” Caroline slapped her thighs, rubbing her palms along them before standing from the couch where she’d sat next to Alec. “I’m going to head home. My husband is probably already missing me, and frankly, I miss him, too. Even with all his bickering and teasing me constantly.”

  Alec stared up at her. “You’re leaving already?”

  I chuckled. “Ha, boyfriend, you’ll have to wait another day for all kinds of childhood stories,” I pointed out, kind of glad he didn’t get to ask all those questions. I’d have to mention to him that my adoptive mother never had been the person to keep memories. He’d be utterly disappointed if—

  “Oh yes, that’ll be fun. I have all the pictures he drew me when he thought he was going to be an artist,” Caroline announced, excitement dancing in her voice

  “You do?” Alec asked.

  “You do?” I questioned at the same time. It was hard to believe.

  Her expression got soft and she crossed over to me, cupping my cheeks. “I know it’s hard to believe. I don’t know why I kept them back then, but now I’m glad I did. I’ll be a mom, I promise. And now, I’ll leave. I know you can’t wait to get rid of everyone and have your boyfriend to yourself.” She went onto her tiptoes to kiss my cheek, then returned to Alec’s side, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head before grabbing her bag from the side of the door, waving.

  “Bye, Caroline, and thank you for everything.”

  She nodded, blinking away tears, and I let her go because I couldn’t handle the emotional version of Caroline Matchington.

  “She’s…”

  “Not the mother I used to have. Trust me.”

  “…Trying,” Alec finished, giving me a stern look. “And now, come and sit. I need to touch you. And we have forty minutes before the lasagna is done, remember?” He waggled his brows at me and I wished we could at least make out heavily, but…

  I knelt in front of him, taking his hand and bringing it up to my cheek. “There’s someone here who wants to see you, and I want that out of the way before I keep you to myself until tomorrow.”

  He blinked. “You let that person inside your apartment, so I guess it can’t be anyone bad.”

  “No. I mean… Well, maybe.” I kissed Alec’s palm at sound of the voice of his former best friend coming from the small hallway leading to my bedroom. Seemed she no longer wanted to wait.

  “Nina.” Alec’s voice was nothing more than a breath, and with a finger under his chin I turned his attention back to me.

  “I’ll be in the bedroom, okay? If you need anything…” I left the sentence hanging, but Alec knew what I meant, nodding.

  I got to my feet, merely arching a brow at the girl passing me, then I went into my bedroom, glad I could finally reclaim it from Caroline.

  I was also looking forward to having Alec in my bed again, holding him in my arms until I was sure I wasn’t still dreaming that he’d just barely made it out alive.

  ALEC

  I stared at Nina, watched her for a very long moment, then I wished Kash hadn’t left us alone.

  “I’d tap that, you know?” she asked, pointing over her shoulder.

  “That wouldn’t tap you though,” Kash called and I couldn’t help but smile, glad he’d left the bedroom door open as if he knew how hard this was going to be for me. I’d mentioned Nina once or twice but until I’d met Cam and the rest of the gang, I hadn’t known what real friends were.

  “I’d appreciated it if you didn’t talk about my boy
friend that way.”

  She brushed a strand behind her ear, then sat down next to me. Frankly, I wanted to run. “We always stared at guys. Together.”

  I nodded. “Those guys didn’t own my heart the way he does.”

  Nina sighed. “You’re nineteen. There’ll be others, Alec. What you think you feel, it’s nothing more than puppy love for the first real guy giving you attention.”

  I laughed, the sound disbelieving even to my own ears. “Are you listening to yourself, Nina? I mean…” I didn’t know how to end that sentence because there was nothing I could say.

  “I’m not saying you’re not gay, okay?”

  Gracious of you, I thought.

  “I’m just saying he won’t be the last, even if he’s your first. However, we’ve been friends for so long, and I miss you in my life. I know things have been… What I said on the phone was totally inappropriate…”

  “You’re not doing much better now. For real though, Nina… Maybe some things are better left in the past.” After all, yes, she’d crossed my mind a few times after everything had settled down, but never in a way that made me want to call her, made me want to see her and maybe reconcile.

  She grabbed my arm. “I’m not one of those things. I love you, Alec. Always have. You are my best friend. You were always there for me, always listened. I don’t have anyone who is to me what you are to me.”

  I closed my eyes, fresh pain scratching at a wound that I thought had healed over. “See, that’s the thing. I needed you, Nina. I needed you to stand by me. To come and see me, to call me all the time, making sure I was okay. And you didn’t, not after that first time. I don’t know how you found Kash, or what you said to him to convince him to let you wait here for me, but… There’s nothing you can say to make this better. At all.”

  I stood, feeling the need to move, and so I made my way into the kitchen. The lasagna smelled divine and I got out two plates, making sure she knew she wasn’t invited.

  “I met him when he carried you out of your father’s house. You should’ve screamed. I’d have come to check on you.”