Difficult Husbands

by Mary de Laszlo

  ‘I’m so glad Glory… young love.’ Lorna sighed, and then went on as if she were shaking the memory from her. ‘I expect the two remaining men will want to leave Ravenscourt as soon as they can. It’s icy upstairs away from the fires, and of course they are put out at night and the cold seeps in everywhere,’ Lorna said. ‘I’d forgotten that teeth-numbing cold when undressing; even baring one’s bottom to go to the loo is an act of endurance.’

  ‘I know,’ Gloria giggled. ‘But what about Sonia’s party this evening? I’m sure they’ll want to go to that.’

  ‘That’s up to them. If Rosalind’s too occupied to pick them up they’ll have to take a train back tomorrow. I expect Adrian will be kept in hospital, or the social services will find somewhere for him to go. You have told him and them that you are no longer going to be responsible for him, haven’t you?’

  She hadn’t. Well, not really. She was going to telephone the hospital when she got home and tell someone there. Her first and most pressing thought was to get back to Justin and make it clear that she was going to put him first, get his father looked after by someone else, people with experience of alcoholism who’d know what to do instead of her scooping him up each time, crying over him, begging him to get help which he didn’t think he needed. It was time to leave him with the experts.

  ‘I’ll ring the hospital when I get back, I expect they’ll keep him until after the holiday and they’ll know where to send him,’ she said vaguely. She didn’t want to admit that she was afraid to face him, and tell him her intention to leave him to the medical staff. Seeing his face and the pain he was in would melt her heart and before she knew it she’d have bundled him back home to continue the whole sorry saga all over again. There was only one way to save him and that was the hard way, leave him to face his future on his own. Only then might he face up to his addiction and get professional help.

  ‘But you haven’t told him?’ Lorna said bossily.

  ‘Not exactly, the truth is we … well, I, am so used to being needed, rather like Jane and Clara. It’s going to take time to fill that void. At least you have a grandchild coming,’ she said enviously.

  ‘I know what you mean, Glory,’ Lorna threw her a sympathetic glance, ‘but we have each other, we’ll get through it.’

  ‘I suppose so.’ She chewed the skin on the side of her thumbnail. ‘Anyway,’ she turned to her, smiling, determined not to torture herself with it, ‘we’ve got Flora’s baby to look forward to and you being a Granny. Can you imagine that? No one will believe it, you’re more like an elder sister.’

  ‘It’s a bitter sweet situation though, isn’t it?’ Lorna said. ‘You should have seen my sister’s reaction when Flora told her.’ She laughed, ‘Poor Felicity, she somehow turned it into being her fault for not supporting me more over Stephen’s debacle.’

  Sounds familiar,’ Gloria laughed. ‘How our lives have changed since last Christmas, I wonder where we’ll all be next year and how it will all pan out.’

  25

  All’s Fair In Love And War

  Lorna dropped Gloria home, and though Gloria half-heartedly asked if she wanted to come in, she declined, knowing that her friend just wanted to be with Justin and to try and come to grips with her decision to leave Adrian in the care of the experts.

  ‘Good luck,’ she kissed her. ‘Ring the hospital now, before the day runs away with you,’ she said, wondering if now Gloria were home she would weaken over her decision taken at Ravenscourt and dash down and bring him back.

  Her own house was in darkness. The curtains were still drawn, the remnants of supper scattered on the table, and half the lunch plates from yesterday littered the worktops in the kitchen. The dishwasher had washed one load and waited to be emptied and refilled. She and Gloria had talked about ‘being needed’, but who wanted to be needed to clear up after one’s adult children?

  Flora appeared, pale and yawning, in a long T-shirt and an apricot coloured pashmina. ‘Hi Mum,’ she curled up in a chair and regarded her. ‘I feel so sick and I’m so tired, and Katie wants me to go over to her place and …’

  ‘I’d much rather go out with my cousin than see to all this,’ Lorna snapped, yearning to crawl into her own bed and think over all that had happened during her over night stay at Ravenscourt.

  ‘We meant to do more, but we got watching this film on television, then we went to bed,’ Flora half uncurled herself as if to appear to be making an effort to help, then thinking better of it, curled up again. ‘So is Adrian dead?’

  ‘No, just drunk with a broken arm.’

  ‘I’d leave him if it were me,’ Flora said. ‘Like Dad, he’s gone disgusting. Perhaps men are only nice until they’re sixty, if they live that long,’ she said morosely, sixty being a long way from twenty.

  ‘She’s left him in the care of the hospital. Rosalind apparently met someone at a party, I don’t know the details, but she might prefer him to Ivan. And your father left me before I could leave him.’ Lorna took out the clean plates from the dishwasher, stacking them rather noisily back in the cupboard.

  ‘So you’re all on the pull again?’ Flora said incredulously. ‘Boyfriends, Mum? You do know about … you know, sexual diseases and things? Apparently there’s a big rise in old people getting them.’ She sounded disgusted as if ‘old’ people shouldn’t be getting up to such things.

  A sudden flush seeped through her as she thought of the passionate kiss she’d shared with Nathan.

  Seeing her confusion, Flora said kindly, ‘You needn’t have sex if you don’t want to Mum. I mean… well…’ she looked embarrassed.

  ‘You think I’m past it? I’m only in my early forties!’ Lorna felt an annoying pang of desire as she thought of Nathan.

  ‘No.’ Flora said, in a tone that meant ‘yes’. ‘Just that the men will be too old or too arthritic or need Viagra, then they’ll have heart attacks.’

  ‘It doesn’t bear thinking about. I’ll take up art, or travelling instead.’ She thought of Nathan and his lean muscular body and those lips; she’d never get that again. If she wanted a sex life she’d have to make do with inferior men. She was plagued suddenly by lurid pictures of elderly men with their kit off. She’d been so used to Stephen she’d never thought anything of it. Besides, she’d loved him, loved his body. And what about her with her kit off? Perhaps she better sign up to a gym. Oh, it was all too embarrassing to contemplate.

  ‘Ben hasn’t rung me.’ Flora went on. ‘He promised he would but you are the only person on the answer phone, saying you were staying over. Oh, and Aunt Felicity, who wants you to ring her as soon as you come in.’

  ‘She’ll have to wait.’ The last thing she needed was Felicity in full steam firing off about unmarried mothers and the sanctity of marriage. She sat down beside Flora.

  ‘Ben’s place is with his wife,’ she said gently. ‘Try and imagine how hard it is for her, longing for a baby, trying all sorts of intrusive, and probably painful, procedures, and still not getting pregnant. Then Ben goes with another woman and she gets pregnant straight away.’

  ‘I know all that,’ Flora squirmed uncomfortably, ‘but it’s happened and he has some responsibility towards me and this child.’

  ‘He does and I’m sure he’ll honour them… but you must give them this time to try to sort this out.’ Lorna sighed. Life was such a mess. ‘Marcus here?’

  Flora shrugged, ‘s’pose so. Why wouldn’t he be?’

  ‘He might have gone to a party or something.’

  ‘So was Dad all right?’ Flora tried to sound nonchalant, but she could sense her pain.

  ‘Fine, I hardly talked to him.’

  ‘But you were all together at Ravenscourt, weren’t you?’

  ‘Yes, but not alone. We did have a moment to discuss things, and it’s clear that our marriage is over, darling. We’re divorced, after all, and there’s no going back. But perhaps one day we’ll be friends again.’ Stephen had hardly behaved as if he wanted to be her friend but she wanted t
o offer some comfort to Flora.

  Marcus appeared, announcing that he was just off to meet up with his mates. Flora eventually got dressed, and wandered off to Katie’s, leaving Lorna feeling discarded, and alone.

  Later in the afternoon Gloria rang. ‘I’ve got to go back to the hospital to talk to the doctor about Adrian. Jane and Clara can’t, as they are not his next of kin. I’ll persuade them to keep him in while they come up with a solution. I thought I’d go to Nathan’s party while I was down there. Sonia suggested I stay the night at Mulberry Farm, so that’s where I am should you need me.’

  ‘But I thought you wanted to be with Justin,’ Lorna bleated feebly.

  ‘I do, but when I got back I found that he’s spending the night with Ellie’s family, so I’ll only be home alone. I’m a bit upset about it as I imagined he’d be here, and I can’t help thinking he made the plan because I’d dashed off to Ravenscourt the minute I heard about his father. It had been such a good day, everyone so happy together and then… well you know how it is.’

  ‘Don’t beat yourself up over this, Glory,’ Lorna said sympathetically. ‘You had Ellie for the day and it’s only natural she’d ask him to her home, ‘You’re right, I’m overreacting as usual,’ she laughed, before sounding more serious. ‘I’m dreading this meeting with Adrian and the doctors. Do you think they’ll insist he comes home and gets treatment here, in London?’

  ‘I don’t know how it works, but be strong, Glory, for both Adrian and Justin’s sakes. You can’t go back to how things were.’

  ‘I know. It’s a relief I’ve got the party to look forward to, I’ll let you know how it goes, bye.’

  ‘Bye, good luck,’ Lorna said, annoyed with herself for feeling jealous that Gloria, warm ,voluptuous Gloria yearning for support to go through her decision to leave Adrian, was spending the evening, and indeed the night, with Nathan at Mulberry Farm.

  26

  Tough Decisions

  If only Lorna had come with her, but she couldn’t expect her to come this way again to bail out Adrian. This was something she must do alone.

  She hadn’t told Justin she was going to see his father today either, and she felt bad about it, though he knew she’d left Adrian to be looked after by the hospital system, and that he was safe – as long as he stayed there. He and Ellie were so happy together that she couldn’t bear to spoil it, especially at such an early stage. So she’d told him that, as he was away with Ellie’s family for the night, she was going down to Mulberry Farm for a party and would be back the following day.

  She parked at the hospital and went straight in, not allowing herself to conjure up any negative thoughts. She was shown into a side room where Adrian was sitting, rather morosely, in a wheelchair. He looked up when she came in.

  ‘Good, you’re here, can we go home now?’

  He looked beaten, sitting there with his right arm strapped up, his face badly shaved and pale. Her heart went out to him, but she mustn’t weaken, for all their sakes.

  She sat down on the only other chair in the room, her stomach cramping with anxiety. ‘How’s your arm?’

  ‘It aches and it’s damned inconvenient. It will be ages before it mends, apparently.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She thought how difficult this was, but she remembered Jane at Ravenscourt talking about tough love. This was the only way to save him. She said, ‘I want you to stay here, or go somewhere where they can help you overcome your drinking. We… you can’t go on like this, next time it could kill you.’

  ‘Not that old thing again, Gloria. I’m fine, or I will be when this damn arm mends. Help me get dressed, then we’ll be on our way.’ He tried to struggle up.

  ‘No, I’m sorry, Adrian, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I’m going to ask the medical staff here to find you somewhere safe to go and have treatment for your alcoholism. If you stick to it, I’m sure it won’t be long before you’ll be allowed out.’

  She didn’t know what she’d do then, but she’d face it when it came.

  ‘You’re a hard-hearted woman, Gloria,’ he said, but his voice had no fire.

  ‘I’ve got to be, to save you,’ she said, and got up to leave the room. ‘I’ll be back to tell you what’s been decided,’ she said, before she closed the door.

  She was near tears and felt it beyond her to fight any more. To her surprise and relief, the medical staff were very sympathetic, and she was further heartened when his sister, Joanna, telephone her on her mobile to ask for an update on his condition.

  ‘There’s a good place up here, and I’d be close to him and could visit him. I don’t mind saying I’d be glad of his company, I’m finding it very lonely without Hugh and both the girls living down South,’ she said. ‘Shall I come down and fetch him? I’m very happy to.’

  ‘Oh, Joanna, that’s an awful lot of ask of you,’ Gloria said, overcome with relief. Joanna was so capable. She and Adrian had once been close, before her husband became so disabled and Adrian became a drunk.

  ‘I know how hard it’s been for you and I haven’t been able to be much help, with Hugh being so ill, but I’d like to do it, it will give me something to do… I miss not having someone to look after.’

  Gloria couldn’t believe how well it had all worked out. Even Adrian looked happier when she explained the plans to him, and when she left him to go to Mulberry Farm, she kissed him. ‘Do your best to kick the habit,’ she said, ‘so that one day we might be together again as a family. Justin’s got a new girlfriend, a sweet girl called Ellie.’ She told him about her, yearning for the old days when he’d have made her feel welcome instead of his behaviour scaring her away.

  ‘And you don’t want me to ruin it,’ he said sadly. He sighed, not looking at her. ‘I know it’s been hard for you, Gloria, and I’m surprised you put up with it so long, but I was upset the way you dumped me at Ravenscourt for Christmas, that was a bit harsh.’ He faced her, his expression grim, his voice now bordering on belligerence ‘Christmas is meant to be spent as a family, and the others, Rosalind and Lorna… though I understand Lorna, she and Stephen are divorced - but just leaving us there? I suppose you all egged each other on. You find us too old now I imagine.’ He sounded bitter.

  She struggled not to weaken and agree to take him home. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘but your behaviour made us all take drastic action, I hope you’ll all realise how desperate we are to keep our families together.’

  ‘Funny way of doing it,’ he said, waving her away with his good arm. ‘I hope Joanna will arrive soon and take me away from here.’

  27

  A Difficult Meeting

  It was almost a week after Christmas, and the fridge was still half-full of delicious leftovers, mostly courtesy of Nathan. The New Year loomed, such a year of change ahead. Lorna wished she felt up to the challenge of it.

  Flora and Ben sat together in her living room. He’d turned up, rather reluctantly Lorna thought, after Flora eventually got hold of him and demanded he come round to see her.

  Flora had gone all huffy and childish when Ben appeared, asking why he hadn’t come before and where had he been, since apart from ringing her on Christmas day, he had not bothered to contact her at all.

  Lorna had seen this exchange, and how Ben seemed to retreat into himself, scraping back his sparse hair in agitation, muttering words of explanation. She said, rather tersely, ‘Flora, give Ben a chance to explain. This is a very difficult situation, especially for Tess, and you must be more patient.’

  ‘I only asked why it had taken him so long to contact me, it’s not as if he’d been on the moon.’ Flora snapped, curling up on the sofa and glowering at them all.

  ‘I’ll get some coffee,’ Lorna said, thinking it best to leave them together to sort things out, and escaped to the kitchen. She fiddled about setting up a tray, putting a few of her Christmas spicy cupcakes on a plate, in case Ben needed fortifying, and making a carafe of strong coffee and a mug of peppermint tea for Flora. She went back i
nto the living room, a cheerful smile pinned onto her face.

  Although she’d known Ben was coming, Flora had made no effort with her appearance at all; she slumped in grey jogging pants and a huge, much-washed jersey, which had started out in life a strong pink and was now a dull flesh colour. Her stomach was quite rounded now; no wonder Felicity had noticed the change in her. Her hair was scraped back untidily in a rubber band. She had no make-up on and her face was pallid and puffy. Lorna felt disappointed in her, thinking that if she hoped to keep Ben she ought to at least make more of an effort with her appearance. Besides, she thought it a sort of arrogance to feel someone was not worth making an effort for.

  Ben just looked like himself, this plain sparrow of a man, bewildered at having one woman in his life, let alone two, and one pregnant.

  It was obvious the two had been arguing. Ben looked miserable and Flora grumpy. They sat opposite each other in an apparent stalemate. Hoping to break the mood, Lorna asked Ben if he’d had a good Christmas.

  ‘Yes he has, he’s been with Tess.’ Flora snapped.

  ‘She is his wife, darling,’ Lorna said firmly. ‘And you have got to see this from her viewpoint. She was longing for a baby and suddenly you come along and get pregnant immediately. It must be very hard for her.’

  Ben seemed to diminish in misery before her eyes, which irritated her. She wished he had not become involved with Flora, involved with the whole family and now a baby was on its way. She held her tongue; it was hard for him too. Perhaps Christmas with Tess had made him realise the mistake he’d made, perhaps he regretted his time with Flora and wanted to finish with her and go back to his wife. But the baby would always be there as a symbol of his infidelity, even the barrier between them rekindling their marriage.