Sin

by Torrie Robles

  “Getting my girl ready for the shower.”

  Once he undresses me, he unlatches my bra. My breasts are heavy, tender as they continue to change with the rest of me. He skims his thumbs across my nipples and I moan. His lips fall to my neck as he kisses his way down. He gently takes me into his mouth. The warmth of his mouth on my breast is soothing.

  “Are you mine, sugar?” His breath going across my damp skin causes me to chill.

  “Yes. Yours, only yours.” My voice comes out throaty.

  He growls. “Fucking right, you’re only mine.” He continues south, trailing kisses as he goes before dropping to his knees. Both his hands come up and caress my stomach.

  “That means you too, little one. You’re mine to love, to protect, to teach.” His voice tickles against my stomach. He’s close enough, making sure she can hear the timber of his voice. He continues further down, pulling my panties as he goes. “Lean back, sugar.” I do as I’m told. The first flick of his tongue against my pussy causes my knees to buckle. I feel his hand tighten around my thighs. His tongue runs across me again, this time with more pressure. His hands move from my thighs, towards my pussy...he opens me up more, lapping at my core. My head drops back.

  “I knew your taste would be my favorite flavor,” he says against my skin. His teeth graze my clit, pulling, sucking it into his mouth. My god this feels incredible. I’m so turned on, so greedy to keep this going. The shower’s running and I’m nowhere near ready to get clean. I lift my foot higher, resting it on the toilet. He dives deeper with the new access.

  “Sin.” I moan as he continues to work me. Stroking me, lapping at my juices as I continue to get more turned on. It’s been so long, the feel of his mouth is overwhelming. My insides tighten and my legs begin to shake. He grabs me from under my legs and I ride his face. I brace myself on the counter, rocking with each stroke of his tongue. “Fuck me, I’m right there.” He continues to play with my clit, the hair of his mustache causing additional friction. “More.” I pant. “Yes.” I feel it. It’s coming. I’m going to come. The warmth spreads through my body as he continues to feast on me. “Yes.” I tense my butt as it hits me, gasping when I hit my peak. “Sin.”

  He stands up before I can catch my breath and kisses me. I can taste myself on his lips and it only makes me want to deepen our already ravenous kiss. I moan into his mouth as he pulls me to him tighter. My legs continue to shake as I wrap them around his waist. I can feel the tip of his cock at my entrance. The thought of how he’s going to feel sends chills through my body. He pulls me closer and slides into me. I pull back and he stares at me with knowing eyes. “I need you.” He says between gritted teeth. I nod as he pulls back and slams into me again. I whimper at his action, but welcome the way he fits. I feel him throughout the entirety of my body. I’m aware of every inch of him. He pulls out and pushes into me again. He bites down on my shoulder causing me to cry out. He continues to bite as his thrusts become more aggressive. I hear the word ‘mine’ on his lips with each thrust. I run my hands through his hair, I whisper ‘I love you’ between my moans and it’s his name on my lips as I climax for the second time.

  As I come, I feel him start to shudder against me. He grunts and then stills. His breathing is heavy as he pants against my skin. He takes a minute to gather his senses. When he pulls back and looks at me, I know he’s already starting to retreat. I love him. He loves me, we’ve made the commitment. We’ve said the words. Why is he so scared to get closer to me? His expression is pained, brows creased. He shakes his head, knowing that he’s pulling back; I stop it by placing my hands on either side of his face.

  “I love you,” I tell him. I look him in the eyes and I repeat the words again. “I love you.” I kiss his cheek, his lips, and the tip of his nose. I show him that I’m okay, that we’re okay. He needed the release and I’m glad it was me that he came to for it. Never again do I want him going elsewhere for the comfort I can give him.

  “I’m sorry.” He hangs his head, pulling from me.

  “Sorry for what?”

  “I don’t want to let you down. I never want to let you down.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead and he heads to the shower to wash me from his body. Something’s off, I can feel it.

  Savannah is asleep by the time I exit the bathroom. With my towel around my waist, I stand at the foot of the bed and watch her sleep. She sniffs, I hear her whimper then she sniffs again. I know I upset her. She obviously cried herself to sleep and I hate myself even more for it. So much shit went down tonight, more than I'd planned. I killed a man tonight. It’s been years since I’ve taken another life and when I did, I had the excuse that I was saving my country. Keeping my family free. But tonight, what was it for? Because he pushed my buttons? Was it because he spoke the words that I’ve feared these past few months? She will never be yours. Those words haunt me. My reaction, the fact that I was able to kill him so easily only proves that I believe those words more than I should.

  I throw on a pair of shorts, leaving my chest bare and make my way to the kitchen. My arms sting like a bitch, the evidence of the destruction of tonight. “What are you doing up?” Hawk asks me as I enter the kitchen.

  “Can’t sleep. You?”

  “Same here. I heard Cut calling the O’Keeleys. They’re going to dispose of the body. Clean up the area.” The O’Keeleys were a group, or mob that we did a job for a year ago. Although we were paid handsomely, we developed a friendship during the time of their case. They said if we ever needed them, we could call. After what I did, I guess Cut thought we needed them.

  “What about the others?” I open the refrigerator and pull out a bottle of water. Its night like this that I wish I could numb my mind with the intoxication of alcohol.

  “Dyke made some calls. If they don’t talk then immigration won’t be brought in. They know the deal and they know what’s on the line if they open their mouths. I think we’re good.”

  “What about the police? We turned the other girls over. You don’t think they’re going to ask questions. You don’t think Douglas’s family is going to ask questions?”

  “You should have thought about that before you upped and killed the guy. I get the situation tonight wasn’t the best, but seriously. It’s like you totally zoned out.”

  “How the hell would you even know? You had four dudes held up at gunpoint. I know your ass wasn’t watching what I was doing.”

  “Bubba told us. He said you like checked out or some shit. You didn’t even flinch when you gutted him then raked your blade across that guy’s jugular.”

  “He had it coming.” Fuck, I really don’t think he did. “No, he didn’t.” I admit. “I fucked up.”

  “I heard what he said, Sin. I heard the way he was riling you up. I can’t stand here and say that I wouldn’t have done the exact thing if it had to do with someone I loved. You’re a protector. That’s what you do. That’s what you’ve always done. We all lose control sometimes.”

  “You’re talking like I knocked him out or gave him a damn concussion, but I didn’t. I killed him because of his mouth. Because of the fact that he spoke truth tonight. Savannah will never be mine, not really. She may be for a while, but she’ll get tired of this life, of me. She’s going to wake up one day and see that this life isn’t for her or her kid.”

  “Then change it.,” he says matter-of-factly.

  “What do you mean change it?”

  “Jesus, Sin. It’s the same shit everyone’s been telling you your whole life. You don’t like the club life, change it. You don’t like the military life, change it. You don’t like the way you think you’re going to end up, then fucking change it. How you grew up does not dictate who you will become. You’re almost thirty, man and you’re still living in so many shadows I’m surprised you don’t fucking burn when you walk into the sun. I love you, man. You’re my brother. We grew up together, but you see shit that isn’t there. You believe in shit that isn’t true and this is a prime example. She loves you,
brother. She loves the man you are and the man you’re trying to be. She wouldn’t have stayed if she didn’t believe in you. But you need to let go of shit and convince yourself that you’re ready for the future and fuck the past.”

  He pats me on the shoulder and leaves me in the kitchen with my thoughts.

  *****

  I wander through a room I’m not familiar with. The windows are open, blowing the white sheer curtains all around. I hear what sounds like the ocean off in the distance. The air is pungent with a citrusy smell, it’s very comforting. The further I step I begin to hear a faint whimper. The sound grows louder and then the whimper turns into a soft cry. Without warning, the curtains stop blowing and the room becomes dead silent. The ocean is no longer roaring off in the distance. The only thing I hear is a sniffle, then a sob.

  “It’s about fucking time you got here.” I turn to the voice coming from behind me. That’s when I see them. Tyson Redding standing to the side of Savannah with a gun digging into her temple. There’s a little girl in a soft green dress sitting on her lap. She has a head full of deep rich brown hair. Her cheeks are rosy, and her brown eyes sparkle with recognition. I step closer and she begins to bounce, her giggles carry over to me and I feel like I’ve heard them before. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Tyson asks stopping me from getting any closer. “I didn’t you tell you can move!” He presses the gun further into Savannah’s skull as a loud sob breaks from her throat. “I told you she’s mine. They both are. You can’t fucking have what’s fucking mine!” He screams.

  “P–please,” Savannah begs. “Please let us go.”

  “Not a fucking chance.” He bends down and licks the side of her face. He raises the butt of the gun and whacks her in the head with it. “Keep your fucking mouth shut.” Her eyes find mine and she mouths, ‘I’m sorry.’ A trickle of blood starts to drip from where he hit her. She shakes as she holds onto the little girl who now has fear etched on her face. Her little lip quivers as she tries to hold back her cries. Tyson presses the gun back to Savannah’s head making her flitch in pain.

  “Go!” She screams as she pushes the little girl in my direction. I drop to my knees as she makes her way towards me.

  “Chew!” She calls to me. The same name Sienna called me when she was little. I grab the little girl when she reaches my arms and squeeze just as I hear a gunshot ring through the air and I see Savannah’s body hit the ground.

  The room goes black. I can no longer see Savannah and I no longer have the little girl in my arms. I hear the faint sound of the ocean coming towards me once again. The smell of fruit lingers in the air and I make my way to the roaring of the waves. I push through the door and enter a room. The sheer white curtains blow in the breeze, block my view of the room. I hear her cries. They’re coming from the corner. I turn and see the same scene as before. Tyson hold a gun to Savannah’s head. The little girl giggle and bouncing. “They’re both fucking mine. Mine, mine, mine.” He continues as she belts Savannah with the butt of the gun every time he says the word mine.

  “Chew!” The little girl shouts as she jumps from Savannah’s limp body making her way towards me. I bend down to catch her as she throws her little frame at me. That’s when I hear it again; the ring of a gunshot only this time when the girl reaches me; her body falls in my arms with dead weight. Her vacant eyes peer back at me and the front of her dress turns red with blood.

  The room goes black again. I hear my name being called. I hear the distress clog her throat. I walk in to the room, fully lit by the day’s sun. The fresh air wafts through, calming me in its wake. “Sin.” My name is called, but it’s not Savannah’s voice. It’s Sienna’s. I turn to see the two women I love more in this world tied to chairs with Tyson Redding in the middle. He has matching guns pointed to both their heads. Sienna is calm, her face giving nothing away. She always was a warrior, my eyes cut to Savannah. Her hands tied behind her back only extenuate the rounding of her protruding belly. Her body shakes, tears streak down her face. “Mine.” Tyson says. “They will always be mine. Mine to hurt, mine to control, mine to fuck.”

  “No.” Reaching around my back, I pull the gun that’s been sitting in the band of my pants. I point it at Tyson and before he registers what’s happening I fire off a shot, hitting him directly in the forehead. Brain matter explodes as the girls scream in terror.

  “Sin.” There's a hand on my shoulder rocking me. “Sin.” The voice gets louder. “Sin. Sin.”

  I wake suddenly with the feel of Savannah’s hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?” She asks.

  I look around and see that I’m still in the kitchen. My back is stiff from falling asleep against the counter of the island. I stand to stretch my back, circling my neck to get the kinks out. “Yeah, sugar. I am now.”

  “What happened tonight? You were there, and then you weren’t. You never came to bed.” She crosses her arms, tilting her head.

  “I took advantage of you. I don’t want that. I never want that.”

  She rolls her eyes and throws her hands up in the air. “Jesus, Sin.” She raises her voice. “You did not take advantage of me.” She starts to pace the floor. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted that? That connection with you? You talk about not going anywhere, about us being what you want but you’ve never been willing to make the final step.”

  “I didn’t want you to regret being with me. I don’t want to be another mistake for you. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see where I’m coming from?”

  “You see me as such an innocent person. Like this angelic, fragile thing and I’m not. You will never be a mistake and I’m finally doing everything I want. I’m making the decisions that are best for me and my daughter and I feel that the best thing for you to give us is simply you.”

  “I don’t ever want to let you down. I don’t ever want to see disgust in your eyes, or regret that you’ve allowed me into your heart or your life. That’s a fear that I can’t seem to shake. One minute I think I’m good then the next; I’m second-guessing how right I am for you. How well we fit together. It’s like I’m constantly fighting with myself and my biggest fear that that you’ll regret giving your heart to me.”

  “You can’t let me down, Sin. I know you’ll never do anything to make me think poorly of you. It’s not possible.”

  “I killed him.” My admission is like a weight being lifted from me.

  “Wh–what?” She stops and looks at me.

  “Douglas. I killed him. The whole situation brought back a lot of demons that I’ve never worked through. I’ve always just pushed everything to the back of mind. Until tonight.”

  “I was afraid of that. I thought all that violence was going to trigger something.”

  “Yeah, well, he got to me. His words, he was taunting me with you. Telling me how it's going to be when Tyson finally got back what his.”

  “I’m not his.”

  “Well, he says differently.” I rub the back of my neck, pulling at the nape of my hair. “I can’t handle the thought of Tyson getting his hands on you and hurting you.” I meet her stare.

  “You can’t kill someone every time someone says something about me that you don’t like!” She looks around when she notices that she raised her voice.

  “I know that.” I stand up and move towards her. She doesn’t step back. “I know that, but it happened.” I grab the back of my neck, again. My nostrils flare, I need to calm myself down. I won’t survive if I see repulsion in the blues of her eyes. “He pushed my buttons and he won. He got what he was asking for.”

  “You think he wanted you to kill him?”

  “No, but I think he wanted me to do something that would get me in trouble, something that would keep me away from you. What he didn’t know is that if it means keeping you safe and her,” I place my hand on the rounding of her stomach, “out of harm’s way I’ll kill anyone I need to in order to make that happen. Anyone.” I bring my hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her to me, resting my forehead
on hers.

  I need to feel the connection, the deeper one, not the sexual connection in that moment. I need our connection to penetrate the darkness of my soul. I need her to calm my fears, to give me the strength to endure my struggles and come out the man I know she needs. Her light is going to ease the shadows and make my life so much brighter. “I love you.” I take a deep breath. “I love you so much that I feel like I’m going to drown in it, and I welcome it. I want to drown in you, Savannah. I’m trying to get a grasp on everything I’m feeling. I’m trying to make sense of it all. This is new to me. The love, the way I feel for you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not a better man.”

  She threads her fingers through my hair. Her chest trembles as a sob breaks free. Her breath hitches, “I love you so much, Matty.” Her voice cracks. “You’re the only man I need.”

  I press my lips to her forehead. Her hands wrap around my waist as she continues to weep. I will not let her love down again.

  “This is bullshit.” Louie shouts as he slams his hand on the stone table of the park we chose to meet in. It’s been five days since we made the rescue. The other three girls have been returned to their families. Everything has been hush, hush. The news outlets weren’t informed that it was an actual abduction, one that was supposed to end in the sex trade. They were just told that the girls had been found and returned safe. Louie’s daughter, Danika, is still being held by some of our clients until we have Louis in our custody. “You’re holding my daughter for ransom. You told me you weren’t going to do that!”

  “I told you that we would make the exchange. This isn’t a ransom. Where’s your father?” Cut lifts his eyebrow.

  “I’ll get him. I’m not going back on my word to you. I need my little girl. I need to know that she’s safe.”

  “She is.”

  “She’s got to be scared out of her mind. First she was kidnapped, then saved, then kidnapped again.”