Paradise Falls

by Jacobs, Jonnie

  As soon as the room emptied out, Adam darted for the door before Mrs. Hall could corner him. The teachers were almost as bad as the students, although they couched their uneasiness in phony displays of concern.

  He really, really didn’t want to be at school today. Not today or tomorrow or any time in the future. It was better than being in jail, but that was the only good thing to be said about it. School was part of the deal, though. And not just his mom’s deal. His mom, his dad, his lawyer, all agreed that he needed to carry on as usual. Act normal, go to school, stay out of trouble, don’t do anything that might make him the center of attention. As if showing up in class wasn’t already making him the center of attention.

  Fighting a powerful urge to flee, he entered the crowded lunchroom with grim resolve. He knew he’d never find an empty table, but he hoped to spot an isolated seat at the fringe. Normally he left campus during the lunch break, but part of the normal deal was staying on campus, even though that wasn’t normal at all. Because of the rain, a lot of other kids who usually left for lunch had also decided to stay put, so the lunchroom was packed.

  Adam stood just inside the doorway, eyeing the room. Suddenly, the din of conversation dropped to near silence. From everywhere, eyes were directed his way, boring through him like lasers. The energy of those stares made Adam dizzy.

  He turned quickly and bolted from the lunchroom.

  He took his backpack to the library. He couldn’t eat in there, but he’d rather skip lunch than go back to the lunchroom. He sat at a table in the back, near the encyclopedias no one ever looked at anymore, and pulled out his iPod. This “carrying on as normal” wasn’t going to work. He’d have to convince his parents to let him take his courses by independent study or something. He’d drop out of school if he had to.

  Closing his eyes, he lost himself in music. The solitude of his own mind was the only safe place he knew, and even that wasn’t as comfortable as it had once been. He missed Caitlin. More than he expected to. The funny thing was, she would have understood what he was going through. Maybe not completely understood, because there was no way someone who hadn’t been through this could know what it was like. But she was the one person who could have made Adam feel less alone.

  Why, oh why, had he ever taken those photos? It was stupid. He’d known it at the time, but she was so beautiful, so perfect, so unique. He’d dreamed about touching her so many times, and then—

  He felt movement next to him. He opened his eyes.

  “Hi.” Claire Anderson sat down next to him. She was a senior, like he was, and a member of the Students for Students tutoring program, but he hardly ever talked to her. She was editor of the newspaper and had already received early acceptance at Harvard. She was also blond and curvy and very popular. The sort of girl who usually walked by him without a flicker of recognition. The sort he didn’t even bother to dream about.

  He removed the iPod earbuds from his ears. “Do you want something?”

  “I want to talk to you.” She pulled out a chair and sat next to him.

  “Why? No one else does.”

  She gave him a sly smile and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I’m not a sheep. I don’t do what everyone else does. Neither do you.”

  Adam sat up a little straighter. Maybe everyone wasn’t against him, after all. “How do you know what I do?” He tried for a tone of playful banter.

  “Just, you know, my impression.” Another smile. She inched closer. “So tell me, what’s it like having the cops all over you?”

  “It’s no fun.” Adam managed a tangled laugh.

  “I bet. It must have been really frightening being hauled into the station like a criminal. Did they do that good cop, bad cop routine the way they do on TV?”

  “Sort of.” In truth, it was all a haze in his mind. He remembered the inconsequential details—the stale rankness of the air, the cold draft from the overhead vent, the unevenness of the legs on his chair.

  “I bet you figured out exactly what they were doing.” She cocked her head. When he didn’t respond, she leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Did you have a, like, body search?”

  He felt himself blush. “I’d rather not talk about that.”

  “Please, I really want to know.”

  “Sort of halfway,” he said, and looked at his feet.

  “Did they make you strip?”

  Claire was so close, he could feel the heat of her breath on his cheek. He squirmed in his seat.

  “It must have been awful,” she said softly.

  He nodded. Maybe there was more to Claire than he’d thought. She was the only one in the entire school who seemed sympathetic.

  “You spent the night in jail, right? Tell me what that’s like.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about it. About any of it.” He looked at her and then away. “Sorry, I just don’t.”

  “Are you guilty? Is that why you don’t want to talk about it? Did you do something bad to Caitlin?”

  He could feel a pounding in his head. “I’m not supposed to answer questions unless my attorney is present.”

  “Oh, right. That’s like on TV, too.” She crossed one leg over the other. “Even though it’s just me. I mean, we’re not in court or anything. I’m not even wearing a wire.” She touched her chest and laughed at her own joke. “I’d really like to hear what it was like.”

  “I can’t.” He especially didn’t want to talk about it to someone like Claire. He was grateful to her for caring, but he was also embarrassed.

  Claire leaned back in her chair, her rose-pink lips pursed in a decided pout, and crossed her arms. “Why not? Don’t you want to get your story out?”

  “My story?”

  “Right. For the newspaper.”

  So that’s what this was all about. Adam felt like a fool. “I’ve got to get going.”

  “Wait.” Claire put a hand on his knee. Her nails were the same shade of pink as her lipstick. “I understand what you’re going through. Kids at school look at you funny. They’re talking behind your back. I’m not saying this to be mean. I’m sure you know it. Don’t you want to say something in your own defense?”

  “It wouldn’t matter.”

  “It might. I’d like to hear about your experience. I want to interview you.”

  The pounding in his head grew worse. “Interview me?”

  “It’s a chance to tell your side of things. Set the record straight. Why let the cops have all the power?”

  “Sorry.”

  “Please. Just a few questions. I’ll give you a hand job.”

  Adam stared at her. He couldn’t believe he’d heard her right.

  “Okay, a blow job. Is that better? Adam, I really want this story.”

  He could barely breathe. “You’re demented.”

  Claire sat up straight. “I’m a journalist. The story is everything.”

  The story. Adam thought his head might explode. He needed air. He needed to be alone. He stood up quickly, knocking Claire’s hand from his leg, and rushed for the door.

  A story. That’s all he was. A curiosity. A living soap opera. An animal in the zoo. His body was shaking. How would he get through the rest of the day? The rest of his life?

  Ty Cross, Caitlin’s old boyfriend, stopped him in the hallway. “Hey, bro. Bummer about the cops and all.”

  Here we go again, Adam thought. He took a breath. “Yeah.”

  “They ask you a lot of questions?”

  “I can’t talk about it. Advice of my attorney and such.” He stepped around Ty.

  Ty tugged on Adam’s sleeve. “Did they ask about me?”

  “You?”

  “Me and Caitlin. She probably told you stuff about us, right?”

  Jesus. The whole fucking student body was made up of egotistical, self-centered narcissists. Did any of them ever think about anything besides themselves?

  “Sure,” Adam said. “Only it was so boring and unimportant, I never listened.”

 
To hell with school. At least in jail the other inmates had left him alone.

  Chapter 33

  After another sleepless night, Rayna decided Cody deserved an update on the situation with Adam. She’d just hung up the phone when Hank pushed back his desk chair and stood.

  “I’m going out to pick up a sandwich. Can I get you anything?”

  Rayna hadn’t been thinking about food, but she realized now that she was hungry. And sleepy from spending the past several hours at her desk. “I could use some fresh air myself. How about I come with you? Or maybe I can pick up something for you.”

  “I’m ready for a break.”

  Rayna grabbed her purse and jacket. She wasn’t sure what the weather was like outside but the clouds had looked threatening that morning.

  “Anything new on that teaching intern, Rusty Hanson?” Hank asked as they crossed the street. They’d spent the morning tying up loose ends in the investigation, hoping to discover some heretofore missed piece of evidence that would send them off in a new direction. Or provide fresh momentum.

  “He appears clean,” Rayna said. “He wasn’t even in the area when Karen Holiday disappeared, and there’s no indication that he’s made inappropriate contact with any of his students. Besides which, he’s got a live-in girlfriend.”

  “That wouldn’t stop a dedicated predator.”

  “I don’t think Hanson fits the bill.” Rayna shoved her hands into her pockets. They’d gone only two blocks and already her fingers were turning numb with the cold. “Speaking of predators, remember Lance Richter?”

  “The auto mechanic who’s a registered sex offender?”

  She nodded. “He underwent voluntary chemical castration so he’s likely not our man, either. It’s got to be a coincidence that both Karen’s and Caitlin’s parents took their cars to that shop. It makes sense since it’s the largest one in Paradise Falls.”

  Hank slowed to a stop at the entrance to the deli. “You know,” he said, “the trouble with all of this stuff we’re doing now is that there’s already evidence and it points to Adam. It’s not conclusive. Maybe not even compelling, if you look at it piece by piece, but there is evidence, and it’s not difficult to lay out a scenario that says he did it.”

  “Not in connection with Karen Holiday. And until Caitlin’s body turns up, we don’t have proof of a homicide.”

  “Catch-22.” Hank held the door for her and they went inside.

  They got their sandwiches—corned beef for Hank and turkey breast for Rayna—and decided to eat at one of the small Formica tables by the windows at the front of the deli.

  “What did Neal Cody have to say about the DA releasing Adam?” Hank asked, biting into a dill pickle quarter.

  “Not much. I think he’s seen it happen too many times to get upset about it.” Cody was on a new assignment, with new priorities and new worries. Unlike Rayna, who sometimes felt she stood naked before the entire town. The entire finger-pointing town. As she’d expected, Seth Robbins had used Adam’s release as fuel for a diatribe against departmental incompetence.

  “Hey,” Hank said, almost knocking over his soda. He pointed through the window. “There’s Earl. He’s been wanting to meet you.”

  Hank was out of his seat and through the door before Rayna could protest. He returned a few moments later with a bearded man in a plaid lumberman’s jacket and wool hat.

  “This is Earl,” Hank told Rayna.

  “Pleased to meet you,” Earl mumbled.

  “Likewise.”

  He was a thickset man, probably more muscular than flabby, although it was hard to tell under the heavy jacket, and a few inches taller than Hank. He reminded Rayna vaguely of someone, but it might have been the graying beard that gave him a sort of grizzly, back-to-nature look. He was closer to her own age than Hank’s and wasn’t unattractive, but if Hank thought Earl was her type, he was way off base.

  “I bore poor Rayna to death sometimes talking about our fishing trips and bowling nights.” Hank pulled up a third chair. “Have a seat, why don’t you.”

  Earl’s gaze was fixed on Rayna. His expression was hesitant, like he was waiting for her to encourage him to join them. Or maybe he was shy.

  Before Rayna could speak, Earl shook his head. “Thanks, but I need to make a quick trip to the hardware store.” He stepped back and gave Rayna a sliver of a smile. “Maybe I’ll see you around.” Then he turned to Hank. “All set for tomorrow night?”

  “Right,” Hank said. “I’ve been bowling strikes in my head. We’re going to nail them.”

  Earl cuffed Hank lightly on the shoulder. “That’s the attitude.” With another fleeting glance Rayna’s way, he left.

  “Tomorrow night is bowling night?” Rayna asked when they were alone again.

  “Not just bowling night, tournament night. We’ve got our eye on the trophy. You want to come watch?”

  Rayna laughed. “I don’t think so.”

  “He’s a nice guy, Rayna. A little lonely, too.”

  “You said he lost his wife and daughter, right?”

  “Yeah.” For the first time, Hank looked uncomfortable. “That was before I knew about you, that you also had a husband and daughter who . . .” He kicked at the ground with his foot. “I wasn’t trying to make a match because of that. I mean, it’s something you two have in common, but it’s not like pity or anything.” His face flushed.

  “It’s okay, Hank. It’s not a subject you have to avoid.”

  “But it’s touchy, you know? When Dana died, my life came apart at the seams. Emotionally, of course, but literally too. It was amazing how quickly I became a second-class citizen. I went from Hank, a can-do guy you could count on, to Hank the pathetic old geezer everyone felt sorry for.”

  Rayna nodded. She’d been there herself. “Have you ever thought about remarrying?” she asked.

  “No, Dana was my one and only. No offense, Rayna, because you’re a fine partner and I like you a lot, but most women scare me.”

  She laughed. “I’m sure Earl is a nice guy, but I’m just not interested.”

  Hank gave her a lopsided grin. “I had to try.”

  His phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, checked the caller ID, and then flipped it open.

  Rayna listened to Hank’s largely one-word end of the conversation. Really? Interesting. Great. Then finally, Yeah, I’ll be back at my desk in about half an hour.

  He put his hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Rayna. “We’re making progress trying to track down that Romeo who contacted Caitlin online. Facebook has agreed to cooperate.”

  “Great. Have them check to see if he ever made contact with Karen Holiday, as well.”

  Hank returned to his call. When he was done, they cleared their wrappings from the table and went back to work.

  In some ways, Rayna envied Hank his ragtag circle of friends and acquaintances. She’d made few friends herself since moving to Paradise Falls. She was neither fish nor foul, neither wife and mother nor actively single. She didn’t fit in, and it didn’t really bother her.

  She was happy for Hank that he’d found a network of lost souls to connect with. She just hoped he understood that she had no interest in being part of it in any way.

  Chapter 34

  Two weeks. Tomorrow Caitlin would be missing for two whole weeks.

  Sometimes it seemed to Grace an eternity. Others, a flash in time, like a starburst. You could live a life in two weeks, Grace thought. And lose just as much.

  She recalled the dinner with Carl two weeks ago when they’d been on the brink of a romantic weekend getaway. She’d been so happy. Her life was good. She had a daughter and a husband who meant the world to her, and stepchildren she enjoyed. They were a family. Her family.

  Now she felt like a piece of battered driftwood bobbing alone in a vast expanse of ocean. Caitlin was missing. Carl—the man who’d held her and consoled her and carried her through those first awful days—now did his best to avoid her. Adam, well, she had to assu
me Adam hated her but she didn’t really know. She hadn’t seen him or heard about him since the day of his release from jail. Only Lucy acknowledged Grace in any real way, and Grace thought that was probably because Lucy was too confused to know what she thought.

  Grace wandered from the house, where she’d spent most of the afternoon meandering aimlessly from room to room, into the garden, which was beaten and bare this time of year. The sun was setting, casting long gray shadows across the patio and empty flower beds. The landscape was as stark and uninviting as Grace’s mood. But soon signs of spring would emerge. The flowering cherries and almonds would sprout buds, tulips would begin to poke green through the damp soil, and birds would again greet the morning with song.

  Grace’s world would remain hardened in perpetual winter.

  With a sudden flash of panic she saw the bleak stretch of years awaiting her. Her throat thickened with a strange blend of sorrow and yearning.

  Well, she wasn’t going to give in without a fight. She didn’t know quite what she was going to do, but she needed to try something.

  She went back inside with a new sense of direction and started making dinner. It had been a week since she and Carl had last sat down together for a meal. The night she’d told him about Adam and what she’d done. Another marker in her descent into hell. But she was determined to begin her climb out.

  Grace took chicken from the freezer and cut it into chunks. She sliced mushrooms and scallions and minced a clove of garlic. She made a salad and set the table. She knew Carl was stopping by Mimi’s house after work to see Adam, but when he came home she’d have dinner waiting.

  ~~~~

  Carl burst through the door some time later and went straight to the den he now used as his bedroom.

  After a moment, she followed him. “Carl?”

  He lay on his back on the sofa, an arm flung over his eyes. She sat on the edge.