Back To The Start Box Set: Five Full-Length Novels

by Aly Martinez

  “I don’t think you have a choice. Do you think a man like that is going to let go of his only way out of the fog?”

  “How much did you hear?” I ask needing advice.

  “All of it.”

  “Do you believe him?”

  “He’s telling the truth, Jesse,” she answers with absolute certainty in her voice.

  “How can you be so sure? You should have heard his wife on the phone tonight. She was so weird. She kept quietly laughing then suddenly crying. Though, after hearing him describe her, a lot more of the conversation makes sense. Kara, I’m not sure what to believe anymore. I’m so confused about everything. Even if I do believe him, do I want to get mixed up with all of this drama?”

  “I can’t answer that part for you, but I can tell you why I believe him. I grew up with Casey Black. I never knew Sarah or Manda, but I knew the three of them were tight. I remember when the accident happened. Everyone says it destroyed Casey, losing her two best friends like that. She just kind of fell off the map after that. Anyway, I’ve heard people talking about Sarah and how she has basically lost her mind. She tried to kill herself then became a recluse. I heard she virtually never leaves her apartment. I didn’t realize she was Brett’s wife until tonight though. I believe him. His story matches up with everything I have ever heard. And I’m not just siding with him because he’s hot.” She finishes with an exaggerated wink.

  “He’s going to break my heart. You know that, right? He still has some serious issues with her. I think I’ll always feel like the other woman. He has a wife. Regardless that she is a different person, he is still very much married to her. And if she is as terrible as he says, why would anyone stand by her?”

  “He loved her. I actually respect the hell out of him for standing by her for as long as he has. What you need to figure out is if he still loves her or if he’s ready to move on.”

  “What if he can’t ever move on? You heard him. She was perfect.”

  “You’re missing the keyword—was,” she says as I sigh, knowing that I have no choice but to hear Brett out. Get some answers so I can make an informed decision. “Maybe you just have to wait out the fog.”

  “What the heck happened to you? You’re getting all poetic on me. Where did your ‘crotch-less panties solve everything’ speech go?”

  “You didn’t let me finish! I was getting to that part,” she jokes.

  “Do you think he’ll come in for breakfast tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow’s Friday, so I doubt it,” Kara answers, reminding me that it’s my day off.

  “Ugh! I’ll call him and see if he wants to meet for breakfast in the morning.”

  “Good, because did you see his ass in those jeans tonight? Seriously, I would gladly go to jail just to hump his leg.” She starts thrusting her hips in the air and we both start giggling like teenage girls.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Brett

  I ARRIVE back at my apartment feeling utterly lost. It seems like every time I get comfortable in life, someone flips over the life raft I’ve been so desperately clinging to. I haven’t been happy in a long time, but the last few days, I haven’t been drowning. As much as it makes me a pussy to admit, Jesse was only the reason for that. Knowing that she is potentially gone too, I feel worse than I did a week ago. Now I remember what it feels like to be alive again.

  In the middle of my pity party, my house phone begins to ring in the kitchen. I called the station earlier to make sure they forward all my calls to my home number. There is no way I am going back to Sarah’s to get my phone. I’ll scrap it and buy a new one. I’m not sure if I’ll ever go back over there.

  “Detective Sharp,” I answer, assuming it’s a work call.

  “Hey.” I hear the soft voice that makes my chest hurt. First in relief that she is reaching out to me, but then I panic that something’s wrong.

  “Jesse, are you okay? Did Sarah call you again?”

  “No, no. I’m fine.”

  “Phew, okay. I didn’t expect to hear from you tonight. I’m glad you called though.” I smile to myself.

  “Do you think we could, um…maybe meet up for breakfast at Nell’s in the morning? You know, to talk about things. I have something I want to ask you,” she questions timidly. I hate to hear her nervous. We made great strides over the last few days, but we are right back where we started after the clusterfuck tonight.

  “Of course, Jess. Anything. I’ll answer any questions you want to ask. Please don’t be nervous okay.”

  “I’m sorry,” is all she says.

  “Please don’t apologize to me. I’m sorry for all of this. I can’t say that enough.”

  “Okay, well, tomorrow then?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, gorgeous. Sleep tight. I promise I’ll do my best to dry those beautiful eyes in the morning.”

  “Goodnight, Brett.”

  “Night, Jesse.” I hang up the phone and throw an excited fist pump into the air. I’m down, but I’m not out yet. Now I just have to figure out what the hell I’m going to say to her to make this right.

  * * *

  I WAKE up the next morning, calling out of work by taking a personal day. I haven’t taken a day off in years. I had no reason to. I didn’t have anyone to take vacations with or play hooky while spending the day under a blanket on a cold, snowy morning. I have plenty of days stored up, and this feels like the perfect time to use one. I know Jesse doesn’t work on Fridays, so I want to spend the entire day making up for last night. Maybe I’ll take her someplace nice where we can snuggle close and I can apologize to her properly. Preferably by using my body.

  I walk into Nell’s to see Jesse in jeans that perfectly hug her curvy ass and a tight long-sleeved purple shirt. Her thick brown hair falls around her shoulders, barely curling under at the ends. She doesn’t look like the sex kitten she has the last few times we have been out, but she still looks amazing. She looks relaxed and carefree compared to the slightly nervous and uneasy woman I figured would show up this morning. And let me tell you, this looks so damn good on her. Maybe something I said to her actually penetrated last night.

  She stands at the counter laughing with Kara while the two guys waiting in line smile in her direction. Her laugh is infectious. I can’t blame them for staring. I was staring too. However, I can stop them before they get any ideas about making a move. Even though I’m not quite sure where we stand this morning, it doesn’t stop me from walking up behind her, brushing her hair away from her neck, and planting a lingering kiss just below her ear. Thankfully, she doesn’t slap me, but I can feel her tense. I pretend not to notice it. She may not want it, but I need to touch her.

  “Come on. Let’s go sit down and talk.” I drape an arm over her shoulder, giving the two guys watching a knowing nod as we walk past. We sit down at my usual table, the one closest to the counter. “You okay?” I ask as Jesse starts chewing on the edge of her thumb nail like she so often does. I reach forward, grabbing her hand, and pull it way from her mouth.

  She drops it to the table and tries to slide it away, but I refuse to let go. I hear the bell over the door, but I’m too focused on this little hand-holding war that I’m having with Jesse to even give it a second thought.

  “Well, isn’t this cozy.”

  I see Sarah standing beside our table. I’m not talking present-day Sarah either. I’m talking Sarah from seven years ago. Tight red dress, black fuck-me heels, blond hair. It’s slightly shorter than it was back in those days, but it’s definitely blond again. The flash from the past causes me to spring to my feet, releasing Jesse’s hand.

  “Sarah?” I ask genuinely confused. I haven’t seen this woman in years, and I would be lying if I said my stomach didn’t jump at the very thought of her standing in front of me.

  She lets out a distantly familiar laugh, and I’m stunned, shocked, and—worst of all—hopeful. She pushes up to her tiptoes to kiss me chastely on the lips before leveling her glare on Jesse.

  �
��Hey, honey. Care to introduce me to your little friend?” She grins an evil smile.

  I look down at Jesse, who is still sitting and now chewing on her bottom lip. Her eyes are wide with amazement and maybe even a little fear. I look between Jesse and Sarah for a second while I try to figure out what dimension I’m currently in.

  Jesse finally drops her eyes to her lap when Sarah wraps an arm around my waist. Her touch is cold and calculated, not at all like the woman who appears to be standing in front of me. I quickly jump out of her reach.

  “What the fuck?” I bat her hands away when she tries to grab me again.

  “Brett, stop being so silly. Introduce me to your friend.”

  I stand still, blinking and knowing that any second the world is going to stop spinning. There is no other explanation for this absurdity.

  “Hi, I’m Jesse,” she says, standing to her feet and looking up at all six foot one of Sarah in heels.

  “Well, aren’t you cute?” Sarah pauses to look at me. “Very interesting choice. She isn’t at all who I expected when I found out you were cheating on me.”

  “Cheating on you?” I have to clarify because I know I couldn’t have heard her correctly.

  “I believe we spoke last night, Jesse. Remember, you admitted to being the slut who is sleeping with my husband?”

  Jesse leans back, trying to dodge the verbal slap, but it lands exactly where Sarah planned. And Sarah doesn’t let it sit long before she throws another blow.

  “The kids have been missing you.”

  “Wow, that’s interesting! I wasn’t aware we even had kids.”

  She ignores me completely and continues to follow her carefully crafted script. “Samantha got her class photo back yesterday. She cried herself to sleep last night when you didn’t come home for her to show it to you.” She pulls a school picture of a little girl I know looks exactly like me out of her purse.

  She has green eyes and long, dark pigtails, and she towers over all of her classmates. I can actually feel the breath get sucked out of the room as I glance to Jesse, who is standing with her eyes glued to the picture lying on the table. Just as I start to lose it, I see the one thing that causes me to go speechless. On Sarah’s left ring finger, I catch the sparkle of a diamond. I know it’s the one I placed there all those years ago. The one that has been sitting in her jewelry box for over four years. I’ve wanted nothing more than to see those rings adorn her finger again, but it enrages me to see them on the hand of this fraud.

  “You have got to be shitting me! Sarah, what are you doing?”

  “You need to come home, Brett. Last Tuesday night, I felt like everything was finally right again. When we made love, it was amazing. Honey, I’m hoping that will give us the little boy we have been trying for.”

  “Umm, I should probably go,” Jesse whispers while backing away on unsteady feet.

  “Wait!” I say to Jesse, but a table and Sarah stand between us. I have no way to stop her.

  “I was wrong. I can’t do this.” She glances between me and Sarah.

  “Yeah, that’s right. Go poach someone else’s husband. You’re nothing but a whore,” Sarah hisses as Jesse retreats behind the counter.

  “Go home, Sarah. We’ll talk about this later.” I rush after Jesse. I reach her just before she makes it behind the counter, but she squirms out of my grasp.

  “Don’t touch me!” Jesse shouts.

  “Don’t touch her!” I hear from behind me as Sarah quickly moves towards us.

  “Go home, Sarah.”

  This situation is quickly spiraling out of control. Jesse is running, Sarah is chasing, and I’m caught in the middle, trying to make one stay and one leave.

  The next few seconds move in slow motion. I have no idea what I did in a past life to deserve these things to happen to me. I know I’m being punished for something though, because I swear, the universe has it out for me. Jesse finally makes it to the office just as the waterworks start. She tries to slam the door behind her, but I’m successful in throwing one hand against the top, blocking it from closing. Score one point for Sharp!

  Sarah storms up behind me, ducking under my arm and sliding into the room with Jesse, effectively shutting and locking the door behind her. Score one point for the unfair bitch of a universe!

  I pound on the door. “Sarah, open this God damn door.” My stomach begins to churn. I know what Sarah is capable of, and the idea of her unleashing that on innocent Jesse is literally enough to make me sick. I press my ear against the door to hear Sarah shouting but nothing from Jesse.

  I back up, prepared to kick open the door, just as Kara rushes in front of me, shoving a key into the lock. With the flick of her wrist, the office door pops open. I see Jesse sitting on the couch, leaning forward with her face in her hands. Sarah stands over her, one finger pointed in Jesse’s face yelling, “He fucks me so hard, I see stars. I bet he couldn’t even keep it up with you.”

  With one swift movement, I reach from behind Sarah, one hand landing over her mouth and the other across her waist. I lift her off her feet and carry her into the hallway. She is kicking and flailing the whole way, but I don’t put her down until we are completely clear of the room. I place her on her feet but keep one hand pinning her against the wall as I look around the corner to check on Jesse. She’s still sitting on the couch with tears running down her face, but Kara is squatting down, quietly comforting her. I return my attention to the woman who’s responsible for all of this.

  “Don’t say another fucking word, Sarah. I have no idea what you are doing, but I swear to God, if Jesse wants to press charges for your little stunt in there, I will do the paperwork myself.”

  “I really thought you had better taste. That woman is a joke. You should have seen how easy it was to make her cry. Honestly, Brett, that was more fun than I have had in years.” She begins to laugh at herself.

  The universe makes its final play when Kara chooses this moment to guide Jesse out of the office. Unfortunately, it’s Sarah who sees them first. She reaches around me with both hands, grabbing my ass and pulling us hip to hip.

  “Jesus, right here in the middle of the hall, Brett? I love that you can’t keep your hands off me.”

  I jerk back, ready to lay into Sarah. I’m done with the bullshit. I have seen daytime soap operas that were less dramatic than the crap that has gone down here. But I’m not the one who gets to her first.

  As Jesse scrambles to get away from this crazy, messed-up situation, Caleb rounds the corner and she runs directly into his chest. His eyes quickly rake over everyone, finally landing on Sarah. She immediately stops laughing and cowers behind me. Caleb’s face fills with rage as his scrutinizing eyes take in the situation. This has just gone from terrible to damn near explosive.

  Caleb and Sarah have seen each other once in the four years since the accident. I wasn’t there, but by all accounts, it was bad. Sarah showed up at his door one night about three months after Manda passed away. She was drunk, sobbing and begging for Manda’s half of the best friend’s necklace. Caleb has always blamed Sarah for the wreck. So when she showed up that night, apparently drinking and driving, he lost his mind completely. I never got the full story from either one of them. I just know that Sarah is now terrified of him and Caleb loathes her.

  “Get out,” he says to Sarah with a scary calm as he tucks Jesse under his arm.

  The tone of his voice is enough to cause Sarah to let out a small whimper, and she slides farther behind me, attempting to disappear completely. My eyes are stuck to his arm around Jesse. She has her hands covering her face and her entire body pressed against his side. It’s the wrong time to care. I should be grateful that she has someone to comfort and protect her right now, but it pisses me off that it’s him and not me. I hate that he is even touching her right now. With any other friend in the world, I would ask them to take Sarah home so I could hold Jesse myself. But there is not a chance in hell I could leave Sarah alone with Caleb.

  “Caleb
, calm down for a minute. You’re freaking her out,” I say while trying to figure out the best plan to get everyone into their separate corners.

  “Are you fucking kidding me, Brett?” he snaps. “I have no idea what just happened here, but I can promise you that crazy bitch hiding behind you is at the center of this problem.”

  I feel Sarah start trembling behind me. He’s right. She has proven herself to be crazy today. But feeling this woman who used to own my heart shaking in fear is more than I can take. I reach behind me and pull her into my arms. Our position almost exactly mirrors the way Caleb is holding Jesse. He stands staring and shaking his head in disbelief while wrapping his other arm around a still-hidden Jesse.

  “You have issues, Brett. I thought you were moving on from this, but I think we can all see now that you are still stuck, rooted in a past that you will never be able to reclaim. You need to take a good, long look at this situation for what it really is. You’re walking out of here holding the wrong woman, and everyone knows it but you.” He bends over, lifting a still-emotional Jesse into his arms, and carries her out the back door.

  I know he’s right, but I can’t see what other options I have right now. I look up just in time to see Jesse peeking at me over Caleb’s shoulder as I hold Sarah. The pain on her face shatters the few remaining broken shards of a heart I have left.

  Kara walks back toward the front, pausing only long enough to finish me off. “You know, I had you pegged all wrong. You talked such a big game last night. That whole bullshit about sunshine and fog. I even believed you.” She lets out a humorless laugh. “Get her the hell out of here, and stay away from Jesse. I’m not going to stand by and watch you destroy her the same way you did that one.” She nods toward Sarah, who is still nestled in my arms, before walking away.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jesse

  THE FIRST thing I clearly remember is sitting in Caleb’s truck. He’s talking to me, but I can’t think of anything except the image of Brett holding Sarah. Protecting her. It’s burned into my memory. I may never be able to see anything else again.