Chasing Faith

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “Did you come here just to gloat over my failure?”

  “No, no,” the governor said. “I had to congratulate my right-hand man. After all, your son was part of our gimmick for you to run for president. Who would have thought he’d win?” He gave an arrogant chuckle.

  “We were both fooled on that one,” Reverend Stokes said.

  The governor’s tone became serious. “If you think you’re going to have a say in how I run this state just because your son is lieutenant governor, forget it.”

  “If you think you’re going to run my son, you’d better think again. If he stood up for what I did wrong, he’ll find you out and expose you as well.”

  The two men started laughing. Did Sebastian know what he was getting into?

  The next morning, Sebastian and I were having a fun breakfast in Savannah’s kitchen, happily discussing what type of ceremony we wanted, how many guests, and where to go on our honeymoon. Then he pulled a day-planner out of his coat pocket and said, “So, when are we gonna set the date?”

  For some reason I started to panic.

  “How about Christmas Day?” he suggested, before taking a bite of his Belgian waffle.

  I almost choked on my orange juice. “You mean Christmas next year, right?”

  He smiled. “I want us to be married before I take office.”

  “That’s only two months away,” I argued. “There’s no way we can put together the kind of wedding we want that quickly. What’s the rush?”

  He leaned over the table and kissed me. “I want you to be my wife when I become lieutenant governor. Besides, I love you too much to wait. If we could get married today, I would. I called a wedding planner on my way over here this morning. She’s been a friend of the family for years. She’s gonna call you later today to start going over some details.”

  I stood and walked to the window, which provided a beautiful view of Atlanta. I could see myself calling this place home someday. But my home was in D.C., and I wasn’t ready to make that change just yet.

  When I felt Sebastian’s presence behind me, I turned around. His eyes were filled with concern.

  “I love you,” I said. “And I know that putting off the wedding means waiting on certain…other things. But I just don’t feel ready to—”

  He cut me off with a chuckle. “I wasn’t talking about sex, silly.”

  “I know,” I said with a shy smile. “But that’s a big part of it, right?”

  His face grew serious. “I thought being married was something we both wanted.”

  “You just proposed to me last night,” I reminded him.

  “You never thought about being my wife until last night?”

  “Oh, I did,” I said. “I guess I just didn’t really think about moving to Atlanta.”

  “If you had a problem with it, why did you say yes?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, my strained voice revealing my frustration. “Maybe because you asked me in front of three thousand people.”

  “Well, it’s just me and you now. You want me to ask you again so you can change your answer?”

  “I’m not saying this right. I do want to marry you. The way you proposed was extremely romantic, and I’ll never forget it.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I just didn’t think we’d be getting married so soon. I’m set to go back to my FBI office and start working again in D.C. come January,” I told him.

  “I know, baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “But if we get married you won’t have to go back.”

  “What are you saying?” I asked, pulling away from him. “I’m in the best office in D.C., and I don’t want to transfer.”

  He reached out and started playing with my hair. “I mean, you won’t have to work at all. I can take care of you.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. As hard as I’d fought to keep my job, surely he couldn’t be implying that I should give it up now. “I don’t want to quit,” I said, planting my hands on my hips. “Besides, there’s a lot of other things going on in my life right now.” I started pacing as I thought about all the stuff in my life that was up in the air. “My girlfriend Eden just found out she can’t have any babies. My sister’s pregnant and I promised to help her choose the adoptive parents. I’ve tried calling my mom several times, but all I get lately is her answering machine, so something’s going on there.” I placed my hands on the kitchen counter to steady myself and glanced down at the beautiful engagement ring on my finger. It sparkled in the sun coming in through the window, which softened my heart but not my resolve. “Besides, baby, I have to show off this fantastic ring to my mom and my best friend.”

  He stared at me with a blank look.

  “Look, there are just a lot of things in D.C. I need to take care of right now.”

  “So what were you thinking when you accepted my proposal? That we’d agree to get married and then live in separate states?”

  “Of course not,” I said softly. “I figured I could go back and forth between here and D.C. until things settled down.” I put my arms around his neck. “I wish we could get married tomorrow, too,” I whispered in his ear. “But there are some things I need to tie up first. Please try to understand.”

  He returned my embrace, then asked weakly, “When do you have to leave?”

  I kissed him passionately. “I’m having lunch with your mom this afternoon, so I booked a flight back tonight. Your life’s going to be awfully busy for a while, anyway. You probably won’t even notice I’m gone.”

  “I’ll notice.”

  I could tell he was crushed, and I felt bad about that, but I had to be honest. There was more to my life than just him and he needed to understand that.

  “You ready to go?” Savannah asked as she tapped on my door at noon that day. She peeked through the open door and saw me packing. “Wait a minute. Are you leaving?”

  “I’ve got to go back home for a while.”

  “I was hoping you two could go on a double date with me and Bruce.”

  “I won’t be gone forever,” I said. “There are just some things I need to take care of back home.”

  “I understand,” she said. “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too,” I said as we hugged. “By the way, I think Bruce is extremely handsome. And very attentive.”

  “You could tell he loves me, huh?”

  “Yeah, I really could.”

  She gave me a sly grin. “My brother loves you, too.”

  “I wish your parents didn’t hate me so much.”

  “They’ll come around,” she assured me. “You’ll see. You’ll win them over when they see how much you two love each other.”

  “I’m sure Bruce will do the same for you,” I said.

  Savannah looked at her watch. “We’d better get going. I don’t want to keep Mom waiting. Wouldn’t want to do anything else to make her more angry at us.”

  I scoffed. I didn’t really care if Mrs. Stokes got peeved because I was a few minutes late for tea. I mean, I wanted her approval, but I didn’t need it.

  We arrived at the restaurant. I gazed all around me.

  “It’s beautiful,” I said.

  Savannah shrugged. “You’ll get used to places like this after you marry my brother.”

  I couldn’t imagine ever taking a place like that for granted.

  I stepped gingerly across the white marble floor to the hostess’s counter. A huge arrangement of birds of paradise and gladiolas stood in an exquisite red vase behind the woman, who looked like a model. Her auburn hair sparkled under the enormous crystal chandelier that hung from the high ceiling. I’d eaten at some nice restaurants with my job, but I’d never been able to just relax and enjoy the atmosphere. I might just enjoy this tea, I thought. Until I saw Mrs. Stokes.

  She was standing on the other side of the door, talking to an elegant-looking lady wearing a long leather coat and boots. When the lady turned around, I realized it was Sebastian�
�s old flame, Penelope. She gave me a once-over, then glanced at my ring finger. I clasped my hands behind my back.

  Mrs. Stokes made a point of looking at her watch when she saw us. “Look who I ran into while I was waiting on you girls,” she said pointedly.

  “Sorry we’re late, Mom,” Savannah said as she kissed her cheek. “The valet took forever.”

  “Well, I’ve got to skedaddle,” Penelope said, turning to leave.

  Mrs. Stokes grabbed her hand. “But we have so much catching up to do. Surely you have a few minutes to spare while we wait on our table.”

  “Sure, okay.”

  I excused myself to go freshen up and headed for the bathroom. When I returned, I overheard Mrs. Stokes telling Penelope, “I’m absolutely devastated. I thought you were going to be the one to marry my son.”

  I stopped just around the corner from the two and lingered, wondering what more I might hear.

  “The way that girl destroyed my husband’s presidential campaign, I’d have thought he would prefer you over her, but apparently that’s not the case.”

  “Stokes, table for three,” the mâitre d’ announced.

  “Well, I’d better not keep you, dear,” Mrs. Stokes said sadly.

  As Mrs. Stokes was ushered to our table, I saw Savannah pull Penelope aside. “Listen,” Savannah said. “You’re my friend, and I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you and my brother. But his girlfriend—”

  “I know she’s been staying at your apartment,” Penelope interrupted in an angry voice. “How could you choose her over me?”

  “Come on, Penelope. I couldn’t make him like you more.”

  “Whatever.”

  “So now you’re angry at me?”

  “Payback’s coming,” Penelope retorted as she stomped out of the restaurant.

  “What was that all about?” I asked, pretending I hadn’t heard their conversation, as I walked up to Savannah.

  “She’s just mad because Sebastian wants you and not her.”

  “Well, too bad for her,” I mumbled.

  When we got to the table, Mrs. Stokes glared at us. “It’s about time you two got here,” she said. “The tea is getting cold.”

  As soon as we sat down, the waiter approached us for our orders.

  Savannah spent most of our teatime trying to convince her mother that her boyfriend was likable. I sat back and just enjoyed the chai tea and finger sandwiches. The caviar and salmon on rye was scrumptious.

  When the conversation switched to me, I almost choked on my sandwich.

  “Sebastian said you set the date for next month,” Savannah said.

  Mrs. Stokes practically gagged. “Surely you aren’t getting married that soon.”

  “Actually, I told him this morning that I don’t want to rush into the marriage.”

  “Oh, smart decision,” she said, patting my hand.

  “Mom,” Savannah said, “they’re in love. Even if they got married tomorrow, it wouldn’t be rushing it.”

  “Well, it takes a lot more than love to make a successful marriage. You don’t want to struggle to make ends meet from month to month. That may sound appealing, but you won’t think so once you try it. I’m sure you understand, don’t you, Agent Ware?”

  “My name is Christian,” I corrected her.

  “Sorry. As you know, Christian, my son will be hosting many important events. He needs the right wife, one who’s capable of helping him.”

  I nodded for her to continue, wondering what this was leading up to.

  “Take attire, for example. If a wife doesn’t know when to wear what, she might do her husband more harm than good. Love is simply not enough.”

  “Hey, look,” Savannah said, interrupting her mother’s discourse. “There’s Daddy at the hotel lobby desk.”

  She picked up her cup without even glancing at the lobby. “Just finish your tea, dear.”

  “I want to say hi real quick.” Savannah started to stand, but her mother placed a hand on her arm.

  “Don’t be rude, darling. After we finish our meal, then we’ll go see your father.”

  When teatime was over, I thanked Mrs. Stokes for allowing me to come. She instructed Savannah and me to wait in the lobby while she strode up to the desk and spoke in hushed tones to the hotel manager. She then came back to where we were and asked us to go upstairs with her. On the walk to the elevator she told us that the desk clerk told her the Reverend Stokes had checked into the penthouse suite.

  Mrs. Stokes rapped on the door. “Room service,” she said in a high-pitched voice, feigning a Mexican accent. “Compliments of the hotel.”

  A giggly female voice rang out, “Coming!”

  To my amazement, the door was opened by Penelope, draped in a man’s white dress shirt. Her mouth hung open when Mrs. Stokes walked in and marched right past her.

  Savannah and I followed like a couple of pet poodles. I couldn’t believe my eyes when we walked into the bedroom and saw Reverend Stokes lying in the bed, wearing nothing but his birthday suit. He quickly sat up when he saw us, pulling the white sheet over his body.

  “Oh, don’t cover up for me,” his wife said. “You have nothing I haven’t seen.”

  “How did you know?” he asked, his lower lip trembling.

  “Penelope’s mother called me,” Mrs. Stokes explained, her voice filled with an emotion I’d never heard from her before. She was obviously deeply hurt. “She saw your private number on her caller ID. I guess now I know why you told Sebastian you didn’t think Penelope was right for him.”

  “Mrs. Stokes—” Penelope said, coming into the room.

  Savannah stepped in front of her former best friend and said, “Don’t say anything. Get your stuff and go. I don’t ever want to see you around my family.”

  Penelope looked upset, got her belongings, and left.

  When the door shut, Mrs. Stokes looked at her husband and yelled, “I know you’ve been running around for years, but I never thought you’d do this with such a young girl. Now that the election is over, I don’t have to pretend any longer.”

  She turned around and walked out, leaving her husband sitting there, speechless. I followed her, but Savannah stayed behind with her dad.

  “I don’t know what to say,” I told Mrs. Stokes when we got into the hall.

  “I don’t care what you say,” she said. “You can go tell this to the press, for all I care.”

  “I would never do that,” I assured her. I held out my arms and she fell into them. She just started sobbing right there in front of the door.

  When Savannah came out she saw me consoling her mom. “It’s going to be okay, Mom.”

  Mrs. Stokes lifted her head from my shoulder. “You know, girls, maybe I was wrong. Perhaps love is the most important thing in a relationship.”

  Savannah and I hugged her. I guess in her own weird way, Mrs. Stokes wanted Savannah and me to accompany her to the penthouse for support.

  “I should never have put up with his infidelities. Now that I’ve caught him red-handed, I think I’ve got the strength to walk away.”

  She strode down the hallway, holding her head up.

  Our “teatime” had lasted so much longer than I anticipated, I barely had time to get my luggage and drive to the airport. I didn’t even have a chance to say good-bye to Sebastian.

  The first thing I did when I got home was call Eden. She came over immediately. “Let’s see that ring,” she said, before I even had a chance to close the door behind her. I obliged her request. “It’s gorgeous,” she said, ogling the diamond. She looked up at me. “You’re going to have an incredible wedding, girl.”

  “If there is one,” I said under my breath, crossing to the couch.

  “Now what does that mean?” she asked, joining me. “You just got engaged yesterday.”

  “Yeah, and he wants to get married tomorrow.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Well, before the new year, anyway.”

  “I take it you
have a problem with that,” she said.

  “I just don’t want to rush it,” I said, twisting the ring on my finger.

  “I was wondering why you came back here the day after you got that amazing proposal.”

  I smiled at my friend. “Well, I wanted to be here for you. I know you’re going through a lot right now.”

  “Shoot, girl,” she said, “we could have talked by phone. You didn’t have to fly all the way out for me.”

  “It wasn’t just for you,” I admitted. “Sebastian and I needed some time apart.”

  Eden sat quietly for a while, her lips pressed tight. I could tell she was trying to figure out how to say something serious, so I gave her time.

  “Max’s death really changed Dion,” she finally said. “He kept saying things like, ‘Tomorrow’s not promised to us’ and ‘You never know what will happen in life.’ But he didn’t mean it in a negative way. He started coming alive, living every day to its fullest.”

  “Dion? Your husband? That Dion?” I asked, trying to imagine her drunk and abusive husband being positive and happy.

  “Yes, my husband, silly,” Eden said, laughing. Then her face became serious again. “I just don’t think you should put off becoming this guy’s wife. I mean, if you don’t want to marry him, then don’t. But if you love him, don’t waste time. You don’t know how much time you’ve got. None of us know.”

  The thought made me uncomfortable, so I changed the focus back to her. “I still can’t believe you’ll never be able to have kids.”

  We talked and cried over her loss for a while. Then a loud knock at my door interrupted us. Someone started banging on my door like a crazy person.

  I opened the door and found my sister standing there. “Crystal, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing much, I just wanted to see you.” She barreled in and made herself at home. I was a little taken aback by the sight of her big belly. I mentally did a quick calculation. She was about seven months along.

  “You got something to eat in here?” she asked, going straight to my kitchen.

  “I haven’t been to a grocery store yet,” I explained. “My cupboards are pretty bare.”

  “You’ve always got something,” she said, rummaging through my refrigerator. “I’m sure I can scrounge something up.”