She glanced toward the door and bit her bottom lip. How long before he came back inside? Seeing as he'd yet to come back in, she suspected he'd stay out there for a while. It did seem as if he were actively avoiding her at the moment.
Looking back at the book, Keri eased the cover up. The first sketch brought a smile to her face. It was a plantation-style mansion, three stories high. Trees lined a drive leading to the house, a wide porch spanning the length of the front. A second porch hung suspended from the second floor, a row of windows arching high above it. The words Rosebriar were scrawled near the bottom, the elegant script curling around the letters.
She knew from stories and paintings that houses like this one were common in the South. Huge, sprawling estates with fancy ladies in gowns so beautiful and extravagant it seemed a shame to wear them. Ladies like Noah's Isabelle.
Imagining Rosebriar in Charleston wasn't hard. This home looked exactly like the ones she pictured when she thought of the coastal town. As rough as Noah seemed, there were times when she glimpsed an honest to goodness Southern gentleman in him, his drawl so deep, she could picture him living in a mansion like this.
She studied the drawing for long minutes, taking in every nuance of it while the question of whether or not Rosebriar was where Noah grew up echoed across her thoughts before she dismissed it as a fanciful notion. If Noah had lived here, then his leaving meant he'd given up everything. Given up his family, wealth she knew whoever lived in this house had to possess, and a society that thrived on the finer things in life. No one would give that up for the middle of nowhere, Montana.
Putting it out of her mind, she flipped the page, thumbing through each one, Noah's memories sketched in shades of black and gray.
She paused when she reached a page with a collection of people's faces, some of the townsfolk of Willow Creek looking back at her. She recognized almost everyone, the Averys all huddled in small groups. More of them appeared as she flipped the pages again and she gasped softly when she saw her children, their faces lit with laughter as they sat by the fireplace. There were pages of them, Sophie Ann in various poses and Aaron as he tended the horse in the barn and sat on one knee, Duke sitting in front of him as if they were having a conversation.
When she saw herself on one of those yellowed pages, her mouth opened as she inhaled a shaky breath, her fingers pressed to her lips.
Noah had drawn her smiling, the expression on her face showing her glee. Another with sadness etched across her features. Page after page, he'd sketched her likeness with exact detail.
All but one.
A fluttering sensation tickled her stomach as she stared down at the sketch. She was wearing a dress like the ones she pictured those Southern belles in Charleston wore, the sleeves draped in such a way as to leave her shoulders bare, the neckline so low the top of her breasts were visible. Her hair wasn't chopped off as it is now. He'd drawn it long, the way it had once been, the curls falling down the length of her back to settle around her hips. Her pulse beat wildly as she stared at the woman looking back at her. Noah had drawn her as if she were beautiful. As if she were as lovely as his Isabelle.
Was this what Noah saw when he looked at her? Or was it what he wished she was?
She closed the book, squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed them to remove the dampness gathering there. She exhaled a breath, placed the book back on the shelf and wiped her cheeks dry, refusing to acknowledge the tears those drawings pulled from her and turned, her heart skipping a beat when she saw Noah. She hadn't heard him come in.
He stared at her, his gray eyes guarded and curious.
And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get a word past her lips. Couldn't apologize for messing with his things. Or tell him how wonderful his drawings were. How beautiful she felt seeing herself reflected in his eyes.
Aaron and Sophie Ann burst through the door, their laughter dispelling the heaviness in the room. Noah glanced down at them when they ran past him to kneel at the chest at the foot of the bed, both of them yanking blankets out before standing back up.
They looked from her to Noah, and back again, Aaron's head tilting to one side. "Well, is she coming or not?"
Noah blinked. "I don't know. I haven't asked her yet."
Aaron sighed dramatically and shook his head. "Well ask her already. I want to go."
"Me too!" Sophie Ann squealed, jumping up and down as she clutched her blanket.
Keri raised an amused eyebrow at them before looking back at Noah, an unreadable expression on his face. "What did you want to ask me?"
Noah's eyes roamed her features before coming to rest on her lips. She saw him swallow, his throat moving with the action before he looked up. "We're going to get a tree."
"We're getting a Christmas tree," Sophie Ann shouted, her excitement infectious.
Keri smiled. Sophie Ann's cheeks were pink, her eyes shining. "A Christmas tree?"
"Yeah and Noah said we can decorate it all by ourselves."
Keri looked back at Noah. He still hadn't said anything but he was as amused at Sophie Ann's outburst as she was. She could see it in his eyes. She glanced back at the kids. "Then I guess I better get my coat."
The chorus of cheers dimmed as Aaron and Sophie Ann headed back outside. Noah turned as well, stopping when he reached the door, taking her coat from one of the pegs on the wall and holding it open for her.
There was that Southern gentleman in him shining again.
Neither said a word as she slipped her arms inside the coat, then buttoned it. When she was ready, Noah was still there, staring at her. He looked as if he wanted to say something, his eyes darting across her face. He sighed and opened the door, holding it open for her instead, then pulled it shut when they were both outside.
The horse stood by the barn, his warm breath fogging the air in front of him. There was some sort of small contraption resembling a sled hooked to him, Aaron and Sophie Ann already sitting on it wrapped in their blankets. They were talking to Duke who paced the yard behind them, his whole body moving side to side as he wagged his tail.
Noah started for the horse and she followed wordlessly. The sled wouldn't hold her, Sophie Ann and Aaron taking up what little space it provided, which meant she was on the horse. Would Noah ride with her or walk as he'd done when he brought them from the woods to his cabin all those weeks ago?
To her surprise, he climbed into the saddle himself. She stopped and stared up at him. When he'd settled, he reached for her. For some reason, butterflies swam in dizzying patterns in her stomach as she looked at his outstretched hand. She ignored them and lifted her arm.
He swooped her from the ground with little effort and set her down on his lap as bold as you please. His arms wound around her, the reins tucked into his hands and with a gentle urging, the horse was walking, the kids' happy squeals as the sled started moving and Duke's exuberant barking echoing across the prairie as he ran and jumped at their side.
They were headed toward the trees, in the same direction as the line shack they'd been hiding out in. It seemed so long ago that Noah had found them. But it hadn't been, just a few short weeks, but they'd settled into such a routine, it felt longer. Long enough Keri had the crazy desire to forget about heading to California and stay right here in Willow Creek instead.
Noah's current mood made that impossible. He was undoubtedly upset. She just wasn't sure what about. Was it her? Or the fact she'd forced their relationship into uncomfortable territory by kissing him? By baring her breasts to him?
Whatever it was, his continued silence was more than she could bear. She had to know one way or the other what was wrong. "Why are you not speaking to me?" she asked, not daring to look up at him.
He was silent so long, she wasn't sure he was going to answer. When he finally said, "I don't have anything to say to you," she wished she'd never asked.
Misery flooded her heart, ached inside her chest until it was a physical pain. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
/> "For causing this. I should have never…" She sighed, picking at a loose thread on the front of her coat while shaking her head, loathed to finish the sentence. Truth be known, she wasn't sorry for kissing him. For seducing him into bedding her. Not one bit.
Noah touched her chin, nudged her to turn and look at him. He was so close, his warm breath fanned her face. His gray eyes darkened as he looked at her and he tilted his head a fraction to one side before saying, "Should have never what?"
She felt his words across her mouth, his rumbling voice, for once, soft, the barest of whispers stirring the air between them. She looked into his eyes and saw the same heated desire she'd seen the day before. "Kissed you," she whispered, answering his question.
"Why?"
Keri stared at his mouth, her pulse beating rapidly under her skin as she remembered the feel of his lips against her own. "Because I can't stop thinking about doing it again."
Chapter Twenty Four
Noah heard her as if she'd shouted, but he had a hard time processing what she'd said. She wanted to kiss him again?
The knowledge nearly knocked the breath out of him.
He'd run through every emotion he could name trying to figure out what the hell was happening between them and why. As of yet, nothing made sense. They'd been so uncomfortable around each other at the town’s Christmas party, his frustration making it hard to say more than three words to her without getting tongue tied. Then every single man in town had sauntered up to her as if she were on display just for their pleasure and that frustration had turned to anger, the fear she'd accept a marriage proposal from one of those prospective husbands despite his pretending to be married to her burning his gut until thoughts of violence ran like moving pictures inside his head.
And the blame for that fell completely on her shoulders.
Living alone for so long, and caring for nothing or no one, had given him a sense of peace. The people of Willow Creek may cross the street to avoid walking on the same side of the sidewalk as he did, but he ventured into town so seldom, he didn't really care. He'd grown complacent. Falling into a routine so mundane, that the moment it was disturbed, he hadn't known what to do.
Being thrust into providing and protecting this slip of a woman and her kids, a job he'd taken on for reasons he hadn't wanted to think about at the time, left him feeling…. exposed. For the first time in years, what he did mattered. Having Keri cast those shy smiles his way made the way he was perceived, matter.
The man he'd transformed into over the years wasn't the man he wanted to be now. He wasn't the man he wanted Keri to see. That man wasn't good enough for her smiles. He didn't deserve the things she did for him. The meals she cooked, or the clothes she washed, just so she'd feel as if she were paying him back for letting them stay with him. She'd softened him. Made him care.
Then she'd kissed him and stirred something he thought long dead. Something that made him vulnerable. And it scared the hell out of him.
He'd had his heart ripped out once and he wasn't in the mood to repeat old mistakes, but looking down at her upturned face, her lips only inches away from his, he thought it might be worth the risk to taste her once again. To take his time, soak in every aspect of her, remember the way she felt against him, and commit to memory the scent lingering on her skin. To never forget the sound of those tiny mewling sounds she made when he'd loved her.
All he had to do was move his head another few inches and he'd be able to taste her lips, to sate the longing he'd been struggling to ignore since he'd walked away from her, too afraid of what he'd see in her eyes if he lingered. But he saw now. He didn't understand why, but Keri still wanted him and even now, waited on him…
"Ma, are you and Noah kissin'?"
Keri jumped, her cheeks blooming bright red in an instant. She jerked away from him, her eyes wide as she peered over his shoulder at Aaron. "I most certainly am not," she told him, hastily. "We were just talking."
"Then why wasn't your lips moving?"
If possible, her blush increased, her cheeks turning blistering scarlet. Noah smiled, guided the horse into the pines and bit his tongue to keep from laughing. He went as far as he could with the sled and tugged on the reins, getting the horse to stop near a cluster of trees.
"Are we there?" Sophie Ann asked.
Noah looked at Keri, her eyes darting at everything around her but him. "Yes, we're there." He looked over his shoulder at them. "You still got that hatchet, Aaron?"
The boy stood, his shoulders pulled back as if he were ten foot tall and lifted his arm to show him the hatchet. "Got it right here."
"All right then. Go find us a tree."
Sophie and Aaron tossed their blankets aside and took off at a run, Duke following on their heels as they darted between the small pines searching for the perfect tree. Noah watched them for long moments before turning his attention back to Keri. She was still blushing at Aaron thinking she was kissing him, something she'd said she couldn't stop thinking about. Heat surged through his body at the mere thought, images of them together flashing in his mind's eye and he hardened in an instant.
He lifted his hand, curled a finger under her chin so she'd look at him and waited until he knew he had her attention. Then he kissed her, the contact brief and soft, a mere brush of his lips against her own before he pulled away. "When we don't have an audience, I'd like to kiss you properly."
She blinked up at him and nodded her head before he scooted her off his lap and climbed from the horse. When he reached for her, settling his hands on her waist and lifting her from the horses back, the desire he saw shining in her eyes quickened his breath.
* * * *
Aaron and Sophie hadn't been this happy since before John died. Keri watched them scouting the forest, looking for the perfect Christmas tree while snow swirled around them.
She'd found a tree to lean against to watch them. They were meticulous in their search, discarding trees for being too big, or not green enough. Their happy chatter was the perfect distraction. As long as she watched them, she could ignore the fact that she was so uncharacteristically nervous. The fact Noah leaned against the tree beside her only made it worse, those fluttering butterflies in her stomach flitting in ferocious patterns for no other reason than he was so near.
He'd yet to say anything since lifting her from the horse. Since giving her a barely there kiss with the promise of more. Her heart hadn't stopped pounding yet and her confusion at the sudden change in his attitude left her dizzy.
Had she been wrong about why he left so quickly after making love to her? About why he was so quiet and acted as if he didn't want to discuss what had happened?
She'd assumed his silence had been because of her. That he'd not enjoyed being with her. Robert certainly complained enough, being sure to tell her of every fault, then proceeding to instruct her how he wanted her to move and react. She'd never satisfied him and assumed that was the reason Noah left so abruptly, too.
But that soft kiss he'd given her.... It made no sense that he'd kiss her if he'd been disappointed. Would he?
He shifted beside her, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Aaron and Sophie Ann. She noticed his gloved hands. He'd not removed those gloves when they'd tumbled onto the bed. Nor had he removed his clothes. He hadn't even pushed his pants down that she knew of. Not that unusual since their encounter had been so quick, she was barely undressed herself, but the more she thought about it, the more she began to wonder. Was Noah hiding more than just his hands? And was that why he'd left so abruptly?
Sophie Ann squealed, her delighted giggles drawing her attention to them. It looked as if they'd found their tree. Aaron was determined to chop it down himself, apparently, and made Sophie Ann stand back until he was satisfied she was out of harm’s way. Then he fell to his knees and swung the hatchet. It barely chipped the wood. Keri grinned. They'd be here until dark if Noah didn't eventually help him. "You know he'll never get that cut down by himself, don't you?"
&
nbsp; One of those rare smiles of his turned the corners of his mouth. "I know." He glanced down at her. "I'll help him out when he's tired of trying."
Silence once again made her uncomfortable. She shook her head at the irony. She'd spent nearly two years wishing Robert would swallow his own tongue just so she didn't have to hear him talk. The man loved the sound of his own voice so much, he rarely ever shut up. She should be glad Noah was so quiet but, for some strange reason, she wasn't. Him being quiet unnerved her so she tried to think of something to say. Anything to break the silence.
The only thing she could think of caused her to squirm. As uncomfortable as she felt, she knew she needed to say something. She inhaled deeply, then once again, before clearing her throat. "I'm sorry for looking through your journal," she said, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing at her feet. "I had no right to look through your things."
For once, he answered right away. "It's fine." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him turn his head to look at her. "They're just drawings."
"They're more than that." She recalled every sketch she saw, how perfectly he'd captured the faces of everyone he'd drawn. His life was etched into that book. She knew by looking that the scenes he'd drawn were from his memories. "It's rare for someone to have such talent, especially way out here in the middle of nowhere."
Silence fell again thick enough she thought she could touch it. Noah was still looking at her, his head tilted to one side as usual, but he unfolded his arms, sticking his hands into his coat pockets instead. "You liked them, then?"
Keri turned to look at him and nodded. "I think they're beautiful." The drawing of her flashed in her mind's eye. "All of them."
His gaze touched every feature of her face, the look in his eyes so warm, it felt like a soft caress. "Not nearly as beautiful as the real thing."
Willow Creek Christmas Page 17
