Lies Beneath the Surface (Buried Secrets #2)

by Silla Webb

  Me: Colton, I’m worried about you. You can’t ignore me forever. I know I made a monumental mistake, but I’m praying this is our baby, so we can have our happily ever after. I love you. Call me soon.

  A short while later, Shelly calls to tell me that Emily Weston is on line one. I take a deep breath before picking up the line.

  “Hello, Emily. How are you?

  “Carly Jo, I’m okay, but Colton is anything but.”

  “Emily, he hasn’t been to work since Tuesday. What’s going on with him?”

  “Little lady, you know more about it than I do, so don’t play dumb with me. He ain’t well. I haven’t seen him like this in years. I’ve remained silent over this last month, but things are gettin’ worse by the day. When it starts to affect Heidi Jo, it’s time I intervene.”

  “I’m sorry, Emily. We are going through a rough patch. I’m just trying to give him some space.”

  “Space.” She laughs. “Only thing between you and Colton is air and opportunity. I’m not gettin’ in the middle of it, but I have a little girl here who hasn’t seen her daddy since Tuesday and she’s worried ‘bout him. She talks about you all the time. She looks up to you, Carly Jo. You and Colton need to get it figured out.”

  “I know, Emily. I’ll stop by after work today to see if he’ll talk to me. But I can’t promise that he will.”

  “Thank you, Carly Jo. He loves you so much. I hope you two can work it out. This baby’s heart will be broke otherwise.” She says, before ending the call.

  I procrastinate for the remainder of the day, finding any reason to stay at the office longer than necessary. Around six-thirty I finally power down the computer and make my way out into the cold to head to Colton’s. I drive five mile under the speed limit, just another attempt of avoiding this visit.

  Pulling up the driveway to his house, I see his battered Silverado parked in the yard beside the house and deep cut tracks through the grass. I climb the steps of the porch, taking a deep breath as I raise my hand to knock. When my knuckles tap the door, it eases open with a slow creak. I peek my head through the door and call out to him. When he doesn’t reply I walk inside, closing the door behind me.

  The stench of alcohol invades my senses immediately, and my stomach rolls with nausea. I look about the living room in shock at the sight before me. Lamps shattered on the floor, end tables turned on their sides. Broken shards of wood and glass are everywhere. His house looks like a wrecking ball came crashing through it. A bottle of Jack Daniels is turned over on the edge of the coffee table leaving a dark stain in the carpet. The stench of alcohol is overpowering, and my heart cracks knowing that I’ve drove him to breaking his sobriety.

  I walk into Colton’s bedroom to find him splayed across the bed, sleeping off what is no doubt a massive hangover. His head is stuffed under a pillow and he’s snoring loudly. Beer bottles and a shot glass litter the floor. The pictures of us he keeps on his dresser are busted and there is a fist sized hole in the dry wall.

  I climb up on the bed pulling the blanket back from him and give his shoulder a rough nudge. He grumbles, tightening the pillow over his face. I nudge him again and he mumbles out, “Leave me alone, Mom.”

  I run my hand up the side of his face and his eyes snap open, blood shot and puffy from nights of drowning his sorrows in Jack. “Carly Jo, what the hell are you doin’ here?”

  “Worried ‘bout you. You haven’t been to work since Tuesday and you’re avoiding me.”

  “Just leave. Don’t need your sympathy. You know your way out.” He says rolling over, pulling the pillow back over his face. I punch him in the shoulder and yell out to him.

  “Damn it, no. I ain’t goin’ any damn where! I made a mistake. But ya know what, so did you!” He rolls over, peering black as night eyes full of hatred right at me.

  “Yeah, I did, darlin’. Eight damn years ago. But for the last six frickin’ months I did everything I could to show you my love, but it wasn’t good enough. Get on home, Carly Jo.” He grunts, shooing me off with his hand.

  “Get your ass outta the bed, and get a shower. You stink, and your house is a mess. I’m gonna make a pot of coffee and try to find you something to eat. Besides, if I leave now your momma is gonna kick both of our asses.” I say, rising from the bed to go into the kitchen. Colton throws the blanket back, pulling himself up off the bed.

  “You mean to tell me my own damn momma ratted me out?” I turn back looking at his blood shot eyes, nodding. “Shit! Can’t get any damn rest with all you nosey ass women in my life.” He says stumbling off to the shower.

  The entire house is an unruly mess, so after the coffee is brewing, and I have a sandwich prepared for him at the table, I grab the trash can to start cleaning. As I’m sweeping up the broken glass in the kitchen, Colton comes into the kitchen and pours a cup of coffee. His hair has tiny rivulets of water dripping from the tips of his black locks, and a glistening sheen of moisture beads across his neck. He didn’t shave, the nearly four day old scruff tells me so. I like the scruff, it’s raw and sexy. I continue to sweep as he sips his coffee, but I can feel the hole he’s boring into the back of my head. Leaning down to scoop up the mess in the dustpan, Colton grips my elbow and pulls me up from squatting.

  “Go home, Carly Jo.” He mutters, his face inches from mine as he peers angry black holes back at me. I can smell the hazelnut coffee on his breath. My knees tremor just a touch, and I’m not sure if it’s his close proximity or his rejection that’s doing me in.

  “I’ll go home after this mess is cleaned up, and we’ve talked. I made a sandwich for you. Go sit down and eat. After I’ve straightened up, we are sorting all of this shit out.” I tell him point blank then turn back to the dust and glass on the floor. Colton cracks his knuckles against his palms, then flex his wrists at his side.

  “We ain’t got shit to talk about. You didn’t wanna be ‘round when I needed you most, don’t need you here now.” He lashes back at me as he strolls carelessly into the dining room. Grabbing the sandwich, he makes his way into the living room to plop down in his favorite leather recliner, ignoring my presence. We’ve both hid behind the heartache long enough. So, I’ll use his tactic and smother it out of him. I place the broom back in the utility closet, then carry the trash can into the living room to clean up in there. I begin picking up the broken chunks of lamp when I turn to him to apologize.

  “I don’t expect you to forgive me, tonight. But we could possibly be having a baby, Colton. I want this to be your baby.” I pause, as he rolls his eyes. He flicks the TV on, turning the volume up to drown me out. I stomp over to him and rip the remote from his hands, turning the TV off. I tear the back off, remove the batteries sliding them in my pocket then throw the remote across the room to the couch. Colton shoves the remaining end of the sandwich into his mouth with a cocked eye brow then shakes his head at me rolling his eyes.

  “Well, ya ain’t gonna give me any damn peace, so let’s hear it. Tell me how you love me, tell me how bad you frigged the hell up. Tell me how you just lost the one man who loves you like there’s no tomorrow. I wanna hear all of your heart grippin’ declarations of love for me, darlin’. So let’s hear it.” He says as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees.

  I flinch at his words as they slice against my wounds, but suck back the pain because this is gonna be dealt with now. I sit down on the floor beside the recliner, pulling my legs up to my chest. “I haven’t lost you, Colton. I just cut you with the same knife you cut me with once.”

  “Always playin’ that card, huh?” He laughs, shaking his head as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

  “Colton, I’m not trying to lay the blame at your feet, because this time I screwed up. I’m just trying to remind you that we all make mistakes. We never meant to hurt each other, but we did. I forgave you and tried to move on. I never fully trusted myself with you and tried to hide behind my heart. But as you told me before, you own every inch of me; so I can’t belong to anyone else.” H
e takes a minute to let my words soak in, flexing his wrists as he stares up at the ceiling fan that is rotating lazily, stirring a cool breeze about the room. I tighten my grip around my legs, searching for the warmth and comfort that I have within myself to make it through this night.

  “There’s only so many times that I can be slapped in the face and rejected by you before I give up.” He pinches his eyes shut firmly, not daring to look in my direction. He hasn’t looked me in the eyes at all tonight. “I’ve lost the battle to Ashton, I just have to accept it in my own time and find a way to heal.”

  “Is that what you think, that I want Luke?”

  “It’s pretty obvious, darlin’. I saw you with him at the diner Tuesday. Don’t act so gullible.” He sneers.

  “Were you following me?” I ask in disbelief. “Luke Ashton is my best friend. He was there for me when the only interaction you wanted was physical. He listened to me vent and consoled me when I needed it. It’s just when I left you in the hospital that night I let it go too far, and so did he. I don’t regret that Luke is in my life, but I do regret that I let my lapse in judgment drive a wedge between us and possibly alter our future together.” I pause, trying to find the courage to continue speaking. “I regret that I cut you so deeply and that you may never be able to forgive me. More importantly, I regret that this baby I’ve been blessed with may be raised alone because I’ve driven you so far away. You are the only man I’ll ever love, Colton. Even if I love you from a distance.” I confess, but my words aren’t sincere enough for him.

  “I know I smothered you, Carly Jo, but damn it, I was so scared that I’d let you slip through my grip if I didn’t hold you too close. What the hell am I supposed to do now, Carly Jo? I need time to process all of this shit.”

  “What the hell have you been doing for the last three damn days?” He shrugs at my question as he waves his hand at the empty bottle of Jack on the coffee table. “Colton, is it that bad that you had to fall back into alcohol? Do you realize that your daughter is worried sick about you?” I question him, but he scrubs his face with his hands in frustration.

  “I appreciate the concern, Carly Jo, I really do. But I can’t even stand to look you in the eye right now. I just wanna be left alone until I can figure out how to deal with it all.” He murmurs. I nod to him then stand to leave, but find him behind me. He pulls in a shaky, ragged breath and I can feel the trembles as they radiate from his body. He is all consumed with emotions and is trying to stay strong in front of me. I turn to face him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He tenses up momentarily, but when I press my face to his chest, listening to the unsteady rhythm of his heart pounding out his chest, he melts into me. He wraps his arms around me holding me close, as he presses his face deep in my hair. He releases a throaty groan, then presses me tighter against him.

  “Do you feel that, Colton? You’re heart still beats for me. I may have cracked it, but it’s racing so fast because I’m in your arms. Please don’t give up on us.” I plead with a shaky whisper. I feel a tear drop touch my shoulder as Colton chokes back a sob. I pull away from his embrace, but he grips my face with both of his calloused hands, swiping the tears that have spilled over my swollen lids with the pads of his thumbs.

  “I’ll always love ya, darlin’. Don’t ya ever forget the sound of my heart beatin’ just for you, Carly Jo.” He presses his swollen lips to mine, with a hungry fervor. He sucks my lip between his teeth, licking softly, before he lays one soft final kiss to my aching lips. He pulls back, then walks me to the front door, without saying a word. I give in to his request, and leave him to cope with his heartache in his own way. No goodbye is spoken, just one passionate kiss that tells me he just let me go.

  Chapter 8

  There’s an old sayin’ that goes: “If you love somethin’ set it free and if it comes back, it’s meant to be.” Well whoever said that is full of shit. I’ve set Carly Jo free time and time again, only for her to be continuously stripped from me. But they also say sometimes you gotta learn the hard way, and that much I can promise you is true.

  It’s been over a week since Carly Jo walked out of my house, and I haven’t laid eyes on her since. I’ve been workin’ the night shift just to avoid her. Pushin’ her as far away from my mind as possible is the only way I’m gonna be able to move on. But every day when I wake up, I’m still lovin’ her. I can’t erase her from my mind, no matter how hard I try. If it weren’t for Heidi Jo, I’d leave Kentucky just to escape seein’ her and the happiness that she lives with. Just keep my focus on my baby girl and movin’ on will be simple.

  I haven’t got to spend much time with my princess since this shit storm started brewin’ a few weeks ago, so I decided to have a daddy-daughter evenin’. We’re sittin’ at the Village Diner waitin’ on our food. Heidi Jo is colorin’ in her Frozen colorin’ book while she hums that same annoyin’ snowman song to herself and anyone within earshot. I laugh to myself at her spunk. Kid ain’t got a worry in the world and not an ounce of shame. I’m lost in her shrilly voice when she abruptly stops and says, “Look, Daddy. There’s Carly Jo’s friend. The one you don’t like.” I crook my neck to the right to see Luke Ashton standin’ near the counter. When our eyes lock, he nods his head before he starts walkin’ back toward me. “You ain’t gonna get mad again, are ya Daddy?” Heidi Jo asks with a bubble of nervousness in her voice. I smile, noddin’ to assure her.

  “Weston. Little Lady.” Luke nods to Heidi Jo and me. Heidi Jo smiles as she looks nervously between me and Luke.

  “Ashton.” I tip my chin up. “Whatever it is, man, can wait. I’m havin’ supper with my daughter; so have some respect and walk away.

  “Listen, man. I’m worried about Carly. Ain’t heard from her for days. Y’all still ain’t figured all this out?”

  “Your woman now, Luke. Ain’t my problem any more.” I grumble with a cocked eye brow.

  He ain’t pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down. Dumbass slides in the booth beside Heidi Jo, picks up a crayon and asks if he can color with her. She looks to me for approval, and I nod. She smiles up at Luke and with a wink she says, “Well sure, big guy. But stay on your own side so you don’t mess up my masterpiece.”

  Luke colors quietly with Heidi Jo for a minute, ignorin’ that I’m just sittin’ inches within reach of him and his throat. I release a deep growl to catch his attention and he looks at me from the corner of his eye as he speaks to Heidi Jo. “You are such a wonderful artist, little lady. I won’t mess up your masterpiece any more than I already have. I’m gonna chat with your daddy for a minute, if that’s okay.” He says, layin’ the crayon down in the small pile. Heidi Jo nods to him, then continues to hum.

  “Not your woman anymore, huh? Weston, I told ya once before to fight for her. Why are ya givin’ up so easily?”

  “I ain’t gettin’ into this with ya, Ashton. Let it be. We ain’t buddies, so stop actin’ like it.”

  “Ain’t never said we were buddies, Weston. You’re makin’ a big mistake, man; turning your back on her. If you don’t wanna talk about Carly, how ‘bout we talk ‘bout your path of mass destruction? You plannin’ on fixin’ any of that?”

  “What the hell you talkin’ ‘bout Luke?” I scoff, this prick’s done lost his damn mind.

  “Really? Damn, Weston. Do you remember anything about that night? Ain’t you wondered how your truck got so beat up?” He’s searchin’ my eyes for an answer, but I ain’t got one to give him.

  “No, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me, huh Luke?” I shrug at him as I shift around in my seat.

  “Let’s just say you stopped by for a visit the night Carly told you about me and shit got real. You plannin’ on bein’ man enough to fix any of that shit?”

  “Ashton, man I ain’t gotta clue what you’re talkin’ about, but I think it’s best you leave. Like I said, I’m here to have supper with my daughter, not reminisce with you.” I growl at him as my breathin’ quickens. I ain’t got a damn clue what he’s talkin’ bout. Ain’t
had my ass on Miller’s Branch and don’t plan to visit that shit holler anytime soon.

  Without another word about it, Luke stands from the table as he tells Heidi Jo goodbye. He nods his head down at me, then takes a step away from the table before turnin’ back and sayin’, “I ain’t your enemy, Weston. She needs you. Better man up and figure this shit out.” Before I can reply Luke makes his way to the counter, leavin’ me stunned by his mass of confusion, yet again.

  Heidi Jo and I finish up supper, then make a quick and painless trip to the mall. We were gonna see a movie, but decided to hit the Red Box instead. Once we’re settled in at home, I make my famous homemade hot chocolate, popcorn and peanut butter kiss cookies while Heidi Jo sets up a movie fort in the livin’ room.

  I carry the snacks into the livin’ room, placin’ them on the coffee table then put Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 in the DVD player. Crawlin’ inside of the fort, I prop myself up by my elbow on a throw pillow and start the movie. Heidi Jo is on her belly with her chin propped in her hands, her feet kickin’ back and forth lazily. I pull my phone from my pocket and snap a quick picture without her noticin’. It’s the little moments that mean the most, and I pray to God I can always make every moment in my little girl’s life a happy memory. I scroll through the pictures in my phone while the previews play, and within seconds I wish I hadn’t. I must have groaned because Heidi Jo turns towards me, with her eye brows scrunched deep between her eyes.

  “What’s wrong, Daddy?”

  “Nothin’ princess, just lookin’ at a picture I had taken of you layin’ there.”

  “You miss Carly Jo, don’t ya Daddy?” She asks as she curls her arms around my neck. I hug her tight, pattin’ her little shoulder.

  “I’m fine, baby girl. Let’s watch your movie, okay. Your snacks are on the coffee table, don’t let your hot chocolate get cold.” She sits back on her tiny heels, cocks her head to the side and looks deep in my eyes like she’s searchin’ for the pain that lies beneath the surface of my rough exterior.