by Carrie Elks
The smile faltered on Courtney’s lips. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Well you need to. Because this thing between the two of you is so hot I feel like I get burned every time we talk. And if I feel like that, god only knows how you feel. And we’re adults. We can deal with the grey areas of relationships. But kids? They want certainty. They either want mommy and daddy together, or they want them apart. I can tell you for sure what they don’t want is some on-again off-again relationship where they don’t know where their parents stand.” Lainey sighed. “I’m sorry. I know this is none of my business. But I love you and I know how much you’ve been through.”
Courtney slid her fingers through Lainey’s. “I love you, too,” she said, her voice thick. “And I know you’re only asking because you care about me. And you’re right. I need to figure out what’s going on. Because I’m going to be a mom, and that’s the only important thing in this situation.”
“Maybe he’ll ask you to be with him,” Lainey said, her eyes widening. “Would you move to Boston?”
“I can’t. My life is here.” Courtney sighed. “I love this farm. And I don’t think Ellis could cope without me.” Her stomach twinged at the thought of it. “I couldn’t do that to him and Mary.” She lifted her gaze to Lainey’s. “And I couldn’t move away from you, either. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Lainey grinned. “Thank god. I was wondering when you were gonna remember me. I’m going to be the favorite aunt, remember?”
“Of course I remember.” Courtney squeezed her hand again. “I guess I have a lot to think about.”
“Think about it after Christmas. After you’ve met the family.” Lainey’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “And who knows, maybe Logan’ll decide to move here to be with you and the baby.”
“I don’t think that’ll happen,” Courtney admitted. “His face lights up whenever he talks about his restaurants. You only have to look at him to see he’s happy in Boston.” She smiled softly. “And Cam is there, too.”
“Well, you know I’ll always be here for you. Me and Hartson’s Creek are in a permanent relationship.” Lainey rolled her eyes. “It’s probably the only relationship I’ll get in a town like this. Unless Ryan Reynolds drives up to my parlor and asks me for a back, sack, and crack.”
Courtney’s mouth dropped open. “Lainey!” She leaned forward. “Tell me you don’t do that.”
“Nobody’s asked yet, but I’d do it for Ryan.” She winked. “But anyway, enough talk of guys. I have your Christmas gift here.” She pulled a small box out of her bag, handing it to Courtney. “And one for the baby, too.”
“You’re spoiling him or her already.” Courtney kissed her cheek. “But thank you. I have yours under the tree.” She walked around the counter to the small living room. She’d put the tree up last week. It was the same plastic one she and Shaun had. They’d bought it the year they married, complete with ornaments that came in the same box. It would always get thrown up at the last minute – they were too busy to do anything else. For the last two years she hadn’t bothered, but this year, even though the baby wasn’t born yet, she felt an urge to put it up.
It looked a little forlorn with its red ornaments, red tinsel, and lights that didn’t even flash. Next year she’d have a real one. And she’d buy new decorations, too. The baby would be almost six months old at Christmas. The thought of it made her feel all warm inside. Even if her baby didn’t know what Christmas was, she couldn’t wait to make new traditions with her child.
“Here you go,” she said, turning to Lainey with a smile. “But don’t open it until Christmas day.”
Lainey grinned. “It doesn’t look like Ryan Reynolds. Unless you vacuum packed him.”
“Never say never.” Courtney winked.
“Well thank you.” Lainey hugged her tight. “And I’m sorry for asking too many questions. Even though as your best friend it’s kind of my duty.”
“It’s all good. They’re things I should be asking myself, anyway.”
“When the holidays are over,” Lainey reminded her. “Right, I’d better go and put vacuum-packed Ryan under my tree.” She gave Courtney a warm smile. “Merry Christmas, sweetie. Enjoy it. It’s your last one before the baby.”
“I know.” Courtney nodded, her lips curling up. No matter what happened, this baby – her and Logan’s – was the most important thing.
And if that meant working out what the heck was happening between her and Logan? Well, she’d have to do that, too.
Chapter Nineteen
The imposing black gates slowly opened, and Logan put his foot on the gas pedal, inching forward onto Gray and Maddie’s graveled driveway. His flight had arrived late that afternoon, thanks to a snowstorm that had lasted longer than predicted. He silently thanked the heavens for the fact the rental company still had some four-wheel drive SUVs available, rather than the usual sports cars he preferred.
Gray and Maddie had gone all out on the Christmas decorations. On either side of their expansive ranch house were two giant fir trees, their boughs wrapped with sparkling lights. The house was lit up, too, strings of bulbs lined across the eaves and around the windows. And in front of the sweeping steps that led up to the front door was a full-size Santa in his sleigh, pulled by eight nodding, lit-up reindeer.
“Oh my,” Courtney said, her voice breathless. “Remind me not to show them my tiny plastic tree. I have décor envy.”
“You’re one up on me. I didn’t even bother to put any decorations up.”
The corner of her lip quirked up. “You’re a philistine.”
“I’m just being green. Plastic trees are bad for the environment.”
“Kind of like giant SUVs?” She arched an eyebrow.
“You got me there.” He grinned. “But at least it’s safe. I don’t like the looks of these clouds.” He glanced out of the window at the grey-and-black colored sky. It looked ominous.
“I don’t either,” Courtney admitted. “I greased up the hens just in case.”
Was it wrong that he loved the way she had a thing for her chickens?
They’d reached the top of the driveway. He turned to the left, pulling into a space next to Tanner’s car.
“You have a big family,” Courtney said, looking around at all the vehicles parked in front of the house. “How many of you are there again?”
“Three brothers and a sister. Gray and Tanner are coupled up, so Maddie and Van will be there. And there’s my dad and Aunt Gina, and Maddie’s family, too.”
“Becca’s the youngest, right?” Courtney’s brows knitted together as though she was trying to remember.
“Yeah. Gray’s the eldest, then a year later came Cam and me. Tanner’s another year younger, and then Becca’s the baby.”
“I thought she was twenty-five.”
“She is.” He shrugged. “But she’s our kid sister.”
“I bet you’re overprotective where she’s concerned.” Courtney couldn’t help but grin at the way his lips twitched.
“She’s been through a lot.” He’d told her about their mom dying when Becca was a tiny child. He and Cam had been nine years old at the time. “We like to take care of her.”
“And I imagine she hates that. Only one thing worse than having an overprotective brother, is having four.” She shrugged. “Not that I have any experience.”
“Yeah, well you’re about to have an experience of a big, overprotective, nosy family. So brace yourself,” he said, his voice playful.
She turned to look at him, her warm gaze meeting his. “I don’t suppose you want to go home and curl up with me in front of the fire?”
He reached out, cupping her jaw with his hand. Her eyes looked up at his, wide and blue. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than curled up with you,” he said, his voice rough. “If you want to leave, then let’s go.”
She leaned her head into his hand. He loved the way she looked at him, as though he was everything
right now. Slowly, he inclined his head until their lips were only an inch apart. “I mean it,” he murmured, brushing his mouth against hers. It was only a brief touch, yet it sent pleasure racing down his spine.
He was a fool for her. Whenever they were close it was as though all coherent thought fizzled out of his brain, leaving space for only her. The way she looked, the way she sounded, the way she smelled so damn good.
It had been this way from the moment they’d met. And if he was truthful he’d never felt anything like this before. It was almost chemical. Like the strongest drug in the world.
“We can go in,” she said, smiling at him. “It would be rude not to.”
“Sure?”
She nodded. “I’m sure.”
He tried to push down the feeling of disappointment. She was right, he knew she was. But it still didn’t stop him from wanting her right now.
“Okay then. Let’s go.”
“This is for you,” Maddie said, passing Courtney a virgin snowball as she and Logan walked into the sprawling kitchen at the back of the house. Courtney looked around, her breath catching as she took in the expensive appliances and marble worktops. On the other side of the breakfast bar – that could seat ten people without looking cramped – was a den, complete with cream leather sofas, an eighty-inch flat screen television on one wall, and glass doors that led to the garden beyond. To the left of the den was the dining area, with a table that looked like it would fit another twenty people. Behind it was a floor-to-ceiling Christmas tree – real, of course – covered with ornaments and sparkling lights, topped with an angel.
“Thank you,” Courtney smiled at the only person she knew apart from Logan. “Your house is beautiful.”
“It wasn’t like this two hours ago.” Maddie grimaced. “Usually you can’t walk a yard without tripping over a plastic toy or a kid. I feel exhausted from clearing it all up.”
“Are the twins in bed?”
“My twins?” Maddie clarified. “Yeah. Though I’ve got this just in case.” She pointed down at a monitor that she’d placed on the counter in front of her. “Gray and I have an agreement. I do the first two hours, he does the next two.”
Logan walked up behind her, pressing his palm into the small of her back. “Courtney, this is my older brother, Gray,” he said, introducing the tall, handsome man next to him. He was wearing a pair of dark pants and a white shirt, the collar unbuttoned.
“It’s a pleasure,” he said softly, leaning forward to shake her hand.
Of course she knew who he was. Everybody in America had heard of Gray Hartson. His voice was constantly on the rock and country radio stations, after all.
“Hi,” she said, smiling at him. “I was just saying to Maddie that your house is beautiful. I’m pretty sure you could fit my place neatly into the corner over there.”
Gray laughed. “Logan tells me you live on a farm.”
“I do.” She nodded. “Live and work there.”
“That sounds so romantic,” Maddie said grinning. “Like a movie or something.”
“Believe me, it’s nothing like a movie when the hens launch themselves at you,” Logan told her. “Unless it’s directed by Alfred Hitchcock.”
Courtney shook her head. “I keep telling you, it’s because they like you.” She turned back to Maddie. “Do you know, whenever Logan visits I get more eggs the next day?”
Logan tipped his head to the side. “You never told me that.”
“I didn’t want to give you a big head,” she teased. But it was true. As well as being the hottest guy she’d ever met, he was great for egg production. Maybe she should get him to leave a shirt or something next time. She could put it in Hester’s bed.
“Is that why you keep asking me over?”
She sighed and shook her head. “See what I mean?”
Maddie laughed. “Could I bring the boys over to the farm sometime?” she asked. “They’re just getting into animals. I know they’d love to see the chickens.”
“Of course. Any time. I’ll take you all on a tour.” Courtney couldn’t help but like Maddie. She was so lovely and welcoming.
“Let me introduce you to the rest of my family,” Logan said, inclining his head toward the living area of the kitchen.
“Sure.” She smiled at Maddie and Gray. “Thanks again for inviting me.”
Maddie squeezed her hand. “We’ll talk later.”
With his palm still firmly against the small of her back, Logan steered her past the breakfast bar into the main living area. “This is Tanner and Van,” he said, introducing her to the couple standing by the sofas. “My younger brother and his wife.”
“You run the Chaplin Drive-In, don’t you?” she asked, shaking their hands. “The one next to the Cutler farm?”
“Yeah, that’s right.” Tanner said, smiling warmly. “It’s great to meet you. And congratulations on the baby.”
“You should come over when we reopen,” Van said, brushing her blonde hair over her shoulders. “We just finished our holiday season, and we take a break until April, but then we’ll be back with a bang.” She glanced down at Courtney’s stomach. The bump was obvious beneath her clingy, red dress. “When is the baby due again?”
“June twenty-fifth,” Logan said. Courtney looked up at him, surprised he could remember. The date was ingrained in her thoughts, but surely Logan had only heard it once, when they were at the doctor’s office.
Van grinned. “This year we had showings once a week where we encourage babies to come. That was Maddie’s idea. Some of her friends from her prenatal classes were afraid their babies’ crying would annoy other customers. So we have a special showtime just for them, and the babies can scream to their hearts’ content. When we start them again next year, maybe you can come?”
“That’s wonderful,” Courtney said. Logan’s family were all so lovely and welcoming. “I’d love to come.”
“I’ll get your number from Logan. We’ll make it happen,” Tanner told her.
“Let’s go and meet my dad and Aunt Gina,” Logan said, giving Tanner and Van a wink. “They’re over here.”
Like his brothers and their wives before them, Logan’s aunt was welcoming and gracious. His dad was quieter, giving her hand a shake and asking if she was well, before sitting silently and listening as Aunt Gina asked all the questions. Next to them was Maddie’s mom, who oohed over all the baby talk.
It was strange seeing how different Logan was, surrounded by his family. His body relaxed against her as his arm circled her waist. He smiled more than she’d ever seen him do before.
This baby growing inside her would be part of it all. Logan would probably bring him or her over here during his parental time. They’d play with Maddie’s kids. Climb on the huge wooden swing set in the backyard. Curl up with Aunt Gina and listen to stories.
Courtney’s mouth felt dry as she thought about her talk with Lainey. She was right. It would be confusing for Courtney to try to be part of all this. Not just for the baby, but for her, too. And yet part of her yearned to be a member of this huge, friendly family. To pretend that they were her own.
But they weren’t. And if she wasn’t pregnant, she wouldn’t even be standing here right now. She’d be at home, alone, probably watching a Christmas movie.
“This is my brother, Cam. My twin.”
Courtney turned to the man standing next to Logan. Even though they had the same face, she could see the differences right away. Not just in Cam’s longer hair, and the bump in his nose that Logan told her came from a football injury at school. But it was in the way he looked at her. Oh, he was friendly and open-faced, but the fire she always saw in Logan’s eyes wasn’t there.
Taking a deep breath, she smiled and looked up at Cam. “It’s lovely to finally meet you.”
“And you.” Logan had warned her that Cam was a man of few words. Though he was lauded on the football field, he was much shyer than his twin, according to Logan.
“Did you fly in today?�
�� she asked him.
“Yesterday. Then I’m back home on Saturday to be ready for a game on Sunday.”
“You must travel a lot,” she said.
“Yeah. But it’s all good.” He smiled at her. “How are you doing? My brother giving you any problems?”
“He’s behaving,” she told him, starting to relax. Of all his family, it was Cam she’d been worried about meeting most. Maybe because he was the closest to Logan. “And he’s been treating me well. Sending me pastries every day, which means I’ll be the size of a house by the time the baby arrives.”
Cam laughed, his eyes crinkling. The sound of it was exactly like Logan’s. “He always tries to feed me up, too.”
“Nobody needs to try that,” Logan pointed out. “You eat constantly.”
“I use up a lot of calories.” Cam shrugged. “Are you two gonna find out the sex of the baby?”
Courtney’s eyes met Logan’s. “I don’t…”
“It’s up to Courtney.”
They laughed when they both spoke at the same time. “I guess that’s something we need to discuss,” she said, their gazes meeting again.
She’d never met anybody who made her feel so calm, yet so on edge at the same time. Like a sting followed by a kiss. He pressed his fingers into her hip, pulling her closer, and all she wanted to do was to melt into him.
Except he wasn’t hers to melt into. Damn, this was confusing.
“Either way, I’ll make sure you get some Boston Bobcats branded baby clothes.” Cam grinned. “Gotta train them young.”
“What if they support a different team?” she asked, her voice full of innocence.
Cam’s mouth dropped open, making Logan laugh uproariously.
“I can see why you like her,” Cam said softly. “She’s got balls.”
The next two hours passed in a blur. She met Becca, and Maddie’s family, as well as tiptoeing upstairs with Gray to peek in on his sleeping sons. There was music, singing, and a whole lot of conversation and teasing. It felt almost like watching a Christmas special on television. She felt part of it and not part of it at the same time.
