Anathema (Sojourner Series Book 4)

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  “Looks like a beautiful day,” I mutter.

  “More reason not to go anywhere and just bury ourselves in here, Elizabeth, where it’s warm and dry.”

  I kiss his cheek and smile. “I don’t think that’s quite what Evan has in mind.” I slip my hand to the back of his neck and toy with his blond hair, my fingers caressing the golden corn silk.

  He nods , and the grin vanishes. “Yeah, well. It was worth a try.”

  “There’s nothing I’d like more, Lev. But we have to remember this world isn’t ours right now, and no matter how we feel, we have to find a way to keep the Triune at bay.”

  He shakes his head. “You sound like someone else I know,” he mutters.

  I lean toward him to rest my head against his chest, and he enfolds me in his arms, resting his chin atop my head as the storm rages outside. The lightning seems far worse than before, and the thunder is deafening at times, but when I’m in his arms, it seems the whole world melts. I’ve never felt that with anyone. Then again, Lev is anything but just a guy.

  A soft knock parts us, and Lev rises, stepping to the window while I eye the door. “Come in.”

  Evan pushes the door open and looks from me to Lev and back again. “There’s breakfast in the kitchen. Then we should probably head back to Knoxville. It’s too wet to consider just doing it outside.”

  As if on cue, lightning flashes, the glare illuminating Lev’s brooding form with an unnatural brilliance. “Maybe we could skip today,” Lev mutters, parting the curtains. “It’s pouring out there.”

  “Delay isn’t an option. You know that.” Evan clutches the doorknob tightly, and I know he’s trying to keep a lid on worries even he cannot control.

  “Yeah. Okay. But this time I’m going.”

  I stand and start to argue, but Evan shakes his head, telling me I can’t win this one anymore, and I close my mouth, swallowing the words in a catch of breath.

  “Celia will be coming as well.” Evan turns and heads out while I stand there for a moment, trying to get my bearings as the world seems to pound around us amid the hail that now smacks the windows and thunders down on the roof. More lightning. I hate storms. Rain I can deal with, but not this kind of weather. It’s too close to the storm brewing inside me.

  “Why do you have to come?” I ask. My throat feels funny—dry and scratchy.

  Lev turns and steps toward me. “While Evan can contain your power, he can’t exactly do it while trying to train you, which means he needs help. That’s where Celia and I come in.”

  “And where you could get hurt,” I snap and charge toward the closet, where I yank out the first t-shirt and jeans I find. It’s not like it really matters what I’m wearing. The rain and hail are going to plaster them against my body, anyway, I’m sure.

  “I’ve been in dangerous situations before, Elizabeth. I can handle myself.” He sounds so self-assured, so cocky, and it infuriates me.

  “So you’ve dealt with the powers of a holy relic trapped in teenage girl before? This is all so familiar there’s every margin for error, right?” I glare at him as I rush through the bathroom door to change clothes. I can feel him following me, but I don’t bother turning around. There is nothing he can say to me to make any of this any easier. Yes, maybe Evan needs him. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be in danger just the same.

  Once I slip into the bathroom and close the door, I lean against it and try to catch my breath. There’re so many moments I want to have with Lev, but it seems as though whatever I might want is constantly thwarted. Before, it was because I could die at any moment, and Lev knew that. Or that there were evil angels surrounding us that had to dealt with. This time, it’s me and this…power that resides in my body. I hate it. How I hate it. But I know railing against it is pointless. I can’t change what is, so I’d better get ready to face it.

  After suffering a breakfast full of small talk and worried looks, Evan, Celia, and Lev head out to the Jeep, knowing I’ll follow. Griffin catches my arm on the way, and although he still seems weak, he looks much better than he has in months, and he did seem to have a pretty healthy appetite at breakfast, which is comforting. It’s the only good thing to come out of Jayzee’s death so far.

  “Please be careful,” Griffin says, his fingers gently clasping my wrist. “I want you to come home in one piece.”

  He pulls me into a hug, and I feel the tension threading through his body.

  “You don’t have to worry about me, Griffin. I’d worry about everyone else.”

  “They are angels, Lizzie,” he argues. “They’ll manage.”

  I shake my head. “This power is designed to kill angels, so like I said, it’s not me you have to worry about.” I pat his back once and pull away.

  Jimmie awkwardly stands at the door, his gaze averted to the floor. Jimmie always picks things to look at instead of people when he’s worried. I guess I’m thinking I’ll just slip past him, so I’m not exactly expecting it when he wraps his arms around me.

  “Be careful,” he whispers, and I nod to let him know I’ve heard. I just wish I knew why everyone wasn’t worried about the angels in this case. They seem to be walking into a whole lot more danger than I am, at least until I get my face-to-face with the Triune.

  “I will,” I tell him and walk outside into the driving rain that is cold and stings as it pelts my skin. I shudder and run for the Jeep to find Lev already sits in the driver’s seat; I take the passenger side. Once inside, I shudder involuntarily and try to fold my hands into the fabric of my t-shirt. It’s like autumn just turned really, really cold, and okay, maybe I should have expected it and dressed for the occasion, but I didn’t.

  Lev has already turned the engine over and flipped the heater on, not that it’s blowing warm air. He backs out of the drive and watches me from his peripheral vision, a frown etching deep lines in his forehead. When he finally switches to drive, he gently takes one of my hands, and I feel the usual warmth begin to flood through my body. It takes a moment or two to stop shaking, but I’m grateful; it’s probably going to take at least ten more minutes for the heater to blow anything resembling heat.

  “You okay?” he asks softly.

  “Peachy.” I lean back against the headrest, acutely aware of the audience in the back seat. It's a lot like having your parents on a date with you—except this is hardly a date, and those are hardly my parents.

  For most of the drive, nobody says much of anything. We're all probably thinking about what's ahead, trying to get used to things being the way they are. None of us asked for this, but then again, how much of our lives is ever what we ask for?

  Lev tries to break the silence by turning the radio to an oldies station—“Earth Angel” by the Penguins. I quickly change stations. There's only so much absurdity a girl can take.

  "I like that song," Celia complains.

  "You would!" I snap, preferring Pearl Jam's “Jeremy,” which raises more than a few eyebrows.

  The rain and storm stay with us the whole drive, and it's actually worse in Knoxville. As the rain sluices from the sky in a wild torrent, I'm glad Lev is driving. It’s probably a whole lot less complicated for him than it would be for me, and considering my ADHD, we might just find a ditch the easy way.

  It's hard even to see the community center when we pull up. The Jeep windows are fogged, and there's so much storm blustering around us, the world is distorted by wind and rain. Once again, the lot is empty, for which I'm grateful. Of course, if and when they open this place, I'm not sure where Evan is going to suggest we play "Test the Powers."

  "You ready?" Lev asks. "I don't think the rain is going to get any lighter."

  "Yeah, " I agree, and fumble for the door handle. Even as I jerk it open, the sky pelts me, stealing my breath with cold. For the second time, I lament my clothing choice. Does this mean summer is officially over?

  I jump out of the Jeep and hold the door open for Celia while Lev lets Evan out of the back seat. Then we all make a mad rush for
the door. Celia already has her key out, so that when we get there, she's able to let us inside quickly.

  In the entryway, we try to shake off the water. The rain has seeped through my t-shirt, plastering it to my body, and my sopping hair sticks to my face no matter how many times I try to push it back.

  "I'll get some towels," Celia volunteers. "Just wait here."

  "See, I told you it would have been a great day to stay home," Lev mutters, raking his fingers through his wet hair to separate the strands.

  "And I told you we don't have the time,” Evan snaps Elizabeth's gift hanging over our heads. We can't risk that."

  Before Lev can respond, Celia returns, her arms loaded with folded towels that she quickly hands out. "I would have brought fresh clothes, but nothing back there is going to fit anybody, so we'll just have to dry off as best we can."

  Nobody has to tell me twice. I'm already trying to blot the moisture from my shirt before I attend to my hair. It doesn't take long before the towel is soggy and I'm at least a little bit drier. Hey, I'll take whatever I can get.

  Celia rolls a big plastic container towards us so we can dump our soiled towels. I rake my fingers through my hair, trying to force it into some kind of order. It's so not willing to comply.

  "Are you ready?" Evan asks, his blue eyes staring intently.

  I glance over at Lev, who wears a long-sleeved white Henley, and black knit sports pants. His gaze is averted, and I know he knows I'm looking, trying to gauge his thoughts. He's not about to make it easy for me.

  Celia, on the other hand, stares at me. She's wearing a pretty aqua shirt and jeans that accentuate her model beauty. She, too, waits.

  "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I finally say. Immediately my body tenses, and I know I'm not ready. Then again, I'll never be ready, not with Lev’s and Celia's lives hanging in the balance.

  "All right, then." Lev heads toward the gym, and the three of us silently follow. As usual, Lev hovers closely beside me.

  I don't want to do this, I think, folding my arms across my abdomen.

  That makes two of us, Lev's voice fills my head. He reaches for my hand, and I take it.

  Please be careful, I think.

  Don't worry about me, he argues. Just keep yourself safe.

  Although the gym still offers the wide-open space Evan claims we need, there are several places where water puddles on the wooden floor from leaks.

  "Great!" Celia mutters, shaking her head. "I'll be right back." She heads back down the hall toward her office while Evan leads us to a place in the gym which seems to be free of water and leak potential. As Celia returns with buckets to place around the room, Evan sizes things up before pointing to a dry section of the floor.

  "Why don't you lie over there?" he asks, pointing.

  "Okay." I glance at Lev to find him standing stiffly a few feet away, his arms folded across his chest. He’s gritting his teeth as though he doesn't like this any more than I do, and he watches me carefully as I get down on the floor and lie with my back to the polished wood.

  "Now close your eyes and focus like you did yesterday. I want to make sure you can still find the source before we move to the next level."

  I go through the relaxation steps, reaching for the warmth, and this time, strangely enough, it's much easier. Part of me thinks that's a good thing, but part of me knows better. Making things too easy breeds complacency, and that's never a good idea when power is involved.

  At first, I only see the scarcest hint of the light, like it's buried deeply, but I keep reaching for it, knowing it's there. When I discover the heat, it's all I can do to handle it, knowing what it can do to those around me. I feel it's been put in such a poor vessel and that maybe the Triune is right; maybe it has the right idea in searching for me, to deal with magic I cannot even begin to understand.

  "Open your eyes, Elizabeth, and tell me what you see," Evan orders.

  Reluctantly I force them open to find the world has shifted to the grey landscape and the only light which glows from it is that of the angels surrounding me. But even that is not a good thing. I feel my body start to stiffen as I stare at the brilliant glow. It's a knee-jerk reaction, much like all the previous ones just before the power went berserk.

  "I...I don't think this is wise," I mutter, closing my eyes, trying to feign blindness. But this time, I see the light even with my eyelids closed. I can't even fool myself into hiding them by blinking. They are always present.

  "It will be okay," Evan says in a reassuring tone. "But you probably need to stand up."

  My head spins with the bursts of light from the angels, and everything feels tilted and strange. It's burning up in here, and I want to go to sleep so this weird second sight will leave me alone.

  "It'll be okay," Evan coaches. "Just stand."

  "You don't understand," I murmur, trusting myself to peer only at the floor where the spinning doesn't seem so bad and there are no light sources to become targets.

  "Yes, I do. Now stand."

  Bile sits at the back of my throat and I keep tasting it. I cannot seem to swallow it.

  "Come on, Elizabeth. You must stand!" It seems as though he's shouting, but I've never heard Evan so much as raise his voice. Still, his command definitely has the desired effect. I clumsily lurch to my feet and try to ignore the dizziness as I totter upright. This is wrong, I think.

  "Now listen to my voice," Evan demands.

  I try, really I do, but even the sound of it claws at my brain, and it seems to emanate not from one single flash of light but from all around me, adding to the confusion and chaos assaulting my senses. I can even hear the rain plunking down into the buckets Celia has placed around the room to contain the leaks. Everything is so loud.

  "I can't place you," I whisper, reeling from all the noise. I take a staggering step forward, which almost causes me to fall.

  "Listen closely to my voice, Elizabeth."

  I shake my head, trying to rattle the distortions from my concentration, but I can’t. As I look up, I see three large blurs of light. None of them are distinct. Any of them could be Evan.

  "I'm right in front of you," Evan says.

  So are the other two, I think. My vision is hazy, and I blink two or three times, thinking that will clear it, but no go. Frustrated, I chew my lip, certain it can't get any worse. But then I see the white glow encapsulating my own hand as the power prepares to attack.

  "Focus on me, Elizabeth," I hear Evan say, but his voice is so far away, and I'm trying to envision smothering this fiery light, but it remains glowing beneath the image of the blanket. I cannot kill the light. And then my hand starts lifting.

  "No!" I scream, fighting it. My knees buckle, but my arm is unwavering.

  "Aim at me," Evan yells. "At me."

  "I don't know where you are!" I shout back. I watch in horror as the light at the end of my arm grows too bright I can barely look at it. Then it jumps outwards, the light forking in two different directions.

  I try to curl my fingers into fists to stop it, but I have no control. The power has won. The world turns to screams and blackness.

  Chapter Eleven

  "Elizabeth, can you hear me?" a far-away voice asks.

  "Yes," I murmur, my hand flying to my head where pain continues to pulsate, paralyzing me. Someone is still screaming, and the sound of it cuts through me. I can't even block the pain. The world is still a grey blur, and I can't get it to form recognizable shapes no matter how badly I want to.

  Suddenly I feel a hand moving mine so he can touch my temples. As his fingers rest there, the familiar comfort of warmth surges through me, blanketing the pain and dulling it to a bearable level.

  "Lev," I whisper, trying to take his hand.

  "No, it's Evan."

  Unprepared for that answer, I gasp sharply, afraid of what those words portend. "Lev? Where is he?"

  The screaming suddenly seems louder, and I try to squirm upright, but Evan grips my shoulders and restrains me.
>
  "Stay down until your vision clears. Okay?"

  I nod and keep blinking, desperate for the world to come back into focus. Something is really wrong. I can feel it.

  "Where is Lev?" I whisper.

  "He's over there."

  "He needs you!" Celia screams, her voice sharper than I have ever heard.

  I hear some shuffling beside me, and the hand that helped to muffle my headache is gone. Although my vision still isn't clear, I try to sit up.

  "Take it , Elizabeth. You're pretty weak," Celia says."

  "What happened?" I ask, my voice barely coming out because my throat is so dry.

  "You don't remember." It should be a question, but it's not. She knows I don't.

  "No. Where is Lev?"

  "He's lying down in the corner with Evan." Her voice is neutral, but I suspect there’s more buried there than what she’s giving away.

  The screams have died down to a whimper--a painful gut-wrenching sound that makes my body hurt just listening to it.

  I start blinking furiously, trying to clear my vision, and the grey haze retreats.

  "Is that him?" I ask, feeling my heart rate quicken. "Is he making that sound?"

  "Yes."

  More blinking. I can finally see Celia's shape. Even though things are still blurry, I can tell she's frowning and that something is really wrong.

  "What happened?" I rub my hand across my eyes, trying to clear any sleep from the corners—anything to just get rid of this haze plaguing me. I push myself onto my knees, preparing to get up.

  "You shouldn't do that," Celia argues. "You can't even see where you’re going."

  "Take me to Lev," I demand.

  "I can't. Right now, Evan is working on him."

  That makes me blink harder and faster, desperate to be able to see and understand what’s going on.

  "What do you mean?"

  Her face is coming into focus, but her expression is haunted, like she has seen something far beyond her control and it scared her.

  "Take it easy, Elizabeth." She tries to push me back down, but I force away her hand and rise.