Fear Me

by B. B. Reid

  Jesse was the only other person I could have ever called a friend. He was a military brat that moved here with his family after Keiran left. After a month or so of school, we crossed paths when I’d gotten stuck in the mud after a hard rain swept through Six Forks. I was having bad reception and couldn’t call my aunt for help or a tow truck and no one was around. I stood there for maybe fifteen minutes trying to get a signal when I heard the rumble of a bike pull up next to me. I remember looking into the second most beautiful set of eyes I’d ever seen. It didn’t give me that familiar jolt that Keiran’s did though. I instantly recognized him as the new kid but he was more than that too. Jesse had quickly ascended the ranks at Bainbridge and had an endless supply of girls chasing him, so when he befriended me, it nearly caused an uproar within the school. People constantly tried warning him away, including me, but he never paid any attention. Pretty soon, a rumor had started that Jesse and I were an item but it couldn’t be further from the truth. We were hanging out often and managed to grow close when his father was suddenly deployed and his mother felt better being closer to family, so they moved back north, halfway through the year. I had him for six months and then he was gone.

  “Hey, Keiran, listen man, we were going to tell you–,” one of the guys spoke up. Before he could finish, a fight between two guys broke out on the other side of the cafeteria. Chairs and tables were flipped over as a stampede formed to get a closer look, quickly turning the cafeteria into a stadium.

  Just then, Willow walked through the door with wide eyes and looked around. When she saw me her eyes grew larger and she rushed over to me.

  “Gosh, Lake. I’m mad at you for five seconds and you try to commit suicide.” The group at the table took one look at her in her dark green overalls and lopsided bow and erupted into laughter, but she didn’t spare any of them a glance. “Let’s get out of here,” she said, taking my hand. I didn’t waste any time arguing and jumped up from my seat before Keiran could stop me again.

  * * *

  “So what happened this morning when Keiran took off with you? That was scary.” We sat down in our seats, waiting for French to start after hiding out for the rest of the lunch period. I’d been looking over my shoulder ever since Anya dropped that bomb and I ran away from him.

  “Willow I told you I needed to drive to school.”

  “You forget people talk right? Especially when it involves Keiran, so try again.”

  I took a deep breath and thought of what to say. Willow was pissed that I just lied to her but what could I do? I couldn’t tell her truth. “Oh you know...he just wanted to start the year off traditionally. I’m sorry, Willow. I just didn’t want you to worry.” That much was the truth at least.

  She stared at me before shaking her head and pulling out her usual assortment of colored pens. I needed to change the subject and fast.

  “I’m also sorry for accusing you of keeping secrets. Whatever is wrong, you can come to me when you’re ready. I won’t pressure you. Best friend?” I wasn’t really sorry for wanting to know what was going on with my best friend but I wasn’t willing to hurt her over it.

  She looked at me with relief on her face and I felt like an ass. “Best friend, she relented. “I’m sorry too, Lake. I’ve been a butt. Hey, want to do something later? I have to work tonight but we can see a movie tomorrow night.”

  “Sounds great. How did Pepé take you being gone all summer?” Pepé was Willow’s ferret that she named after the cartoon skunk Pepé le Pew.

  “I still can’t get him to play with me. The little shit sure can hold a grudge. He just gives me the stink eye. It kind of reminds me of the she-witch, Anya.” I laughed. I never believed an animal, especially a ferret really had personalities but Pepé certainly was a character. “So…are you and Keiran really dating?” she asked.

  I hesitated, feeling like I was suddenly under a microscope. Willow knew all about Keiran believing I framed him. I still haven’t told her about the pharmacy and I couldn't tell her about his threat.

  “As if, Keiran would really date you. Un-believable.” Willow and I looked up to find Anya and her posse standing over us.

  “Oh no, it's the hussies of Bainbridge High,” Willow retorted.

  I choked back a laugh. “Is there something we can help you with Anya?”

  “Yeah, stay away from my boyfriend.” She shifted her hip and smacked her overly glossed lips. “Keiran doesn't want you and it’s pathetic seeing you follow him around all day. He doesn't need a lap dog.”

  “Boyfriend? Does Keiran know this?” Willow asked sweetly.

  “I’m not talking to you, weirdo. I’m talking to this loser. Keiran just wants to use you because everyone heard how you give it up so easily, but he’s mine.”

  “I’m sorry he never mentioned you, but I’ll keep that in mind.” I turned to Willow, who was biting back a laugh. When Anya continued to stand there, I faced her again. “Was there something else?”

  She rolled her eyes at me before stomping off with her army of skanks following. “Can you believe that chick? You would think Keiran’s penis was made of gold, the way these girls act.” Willow scoffed. I looked at her in shock. Yeah, definitely something up with her.

  Chapter Five

  I had begun to think school would never end. I almost shit a brick – excuse my language – when Keiran had walked into fifth period along with his closest cohorts. For an hour I felt the chill and tension at my back all the while praying for the period to end quickly.

  Willow had just dropped me off at home and I immediately noticed my aunt’s car in the driveway. I released a low groan knowing there would be questions about my day. Besides Willow, my aunt was someone I hated lying to so I was hoping to avoid this talk altogether.

  “Lake how was your first day as a senior?”

  Stressful.

  “It was good. I don’t have any serious classes besides English and French.” That’s good, Lake. Keep it going. With any luck I could bullshit my way through this conversation.

  “Well that’s great. So…did anything happen?’

  Shit.

  She was fishing and I knew what she was fishing for. Ever since I fainted in the parking lot she’d get a worried look in her eye whenever school came up. I’d work so hard over the years to keep my school life away from home and now it seemed that everything was coming to light.

  “No. It was pretty uneventful. Some guys got into a fight today.”

  “It wasn’t over you, was it?” A teasing smile spread her lips as she watched me.

  “No. Nothing like that.”

  “One day. You’re too gorgeous not to have it happen.”

  “Aunt Carissa, I don’t find the idea of being fought over like table scraps, appealing.”

  “And that’s what makes you such a strong girl.” She kissed my forehead and resumed preparing dinner as if she didn't just send my world crashing.

  I wasn’t strong. I was anything but. I’d let a single guy isolate me my entire life and now he was after me in the worst way and I was too afraid to stop him. After the playground, he’d made it his personal mission to make me fear him. His threats were always done in secret though and I never knew when they were coming. I touched my neck, absently, thinking about the most terrifying time he threatened me…

  * * *

  “But I don’t want to go in there with you. Please don’t make me.” I had been walking down the empty hallway, on the way to the bathroom. Everyone had class, including me so I wasn’t expecting to run into Keiran. Literally. We rounded the corner at the same time and collided, causing me to fall on my rear while he watched me with cold eyes.

  “Shut up. I’m sick of your whining. I haven’t even done anything to you yet,” he gritted in a deep voice. Not long ago his voice had become rougher, making him even scarier. It also made me feel strange in another way but I didn’t know how to explain it. My aunt did tell me that our bodies would start to change after puberty so maybe that was it. He had just
turned fifteen after all. Gosh, I hope my voice won’t become like that when I turn fifteen in six months. Boys already didn’t like me.

  He pushed past me, into the janitor’s closet, then gripped my wrist and yanked me inside before shutting the door and closing us in with the darkness. My breathing became uneven as I started to panic from being enclosed in such a small place with him.

  “What do you want?” I wanted my voice to sound strong but it trembled along with my body. There was only the sound of his erratic breathing so I squinted, to see what he was doing.

  “Open your shirt,” he ordered. I instinctively crossed my arms over my chest and took a step back but the shelves behind me told me there was nowhere to go.

  “What? Wh— why?”

  “Why what?” he snapped.

  “Why do you want me to open my shirt? You’ll see my—”

  “I won’t see anything, stupid. It’s fucking dark.”

  “So why –.”

  “Just do it,” he said impatiently. I was fourteen and already self-conscious about my body, especially because I knew what my shirt hid. I was a late bloomer so my breasts were new to me and I wasn’t all that comfortable with them. My hands dropped to the buttons on my shirt. After the first button it became harder and harder to continue but somehow I did until the sides of my shirt were lying open.

  “I – I’m finished,” I whispered. I heard him suck in a ragged breath and just as he did I could feel something cold and sharp against my neck before it trailed down to my chest and stomach and up again. A knife? Did he really have a knife?

  “Do you feel that?” I could feel his breath on my skin and knew he was close. The hard point was now teasing one of the hard points on my breast and I shivered involuntarily.

  “Yes.”

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “A knife.” My voice was small as I answered him.

  “No,” he said softly. I felt a sharp nick and winced silently in pain. “That’s your life coming so close to ending. Soon, Monroe.”

  * * *

  I remember going home later that day and finding dried blood on my shirt and skin and realized he must have cut me. I often wondered if it was by accident or intentional. After that, I never chanced going to the bathroom alone.

  “So are you sure you’ll be okay staying by yourself for six weeks?” My aunt’s next question snapped me back to the present.

  “I’m sure. This is big, Aunt Carissa. You shouldn’t miss it.”

  “I just feel awful about missing your birthday.”

  “No worries. You know how I feel about my birthday.”

  “Oh honey…”

  “Really, it’s fine.” I shifted from my feet, hoping she wouldn’t bring them up. “Are you still mad at Susan?” Susan was my aunt’s agent and friend. They’d been through thick and thin since the start of her career.

  “No. She pulled some strings and got Europe fitted into the tour schedule, so all is forgiven now.”

  “That’s awesome!” I swallowed against the pain in my throat while trying to hide the anxiety I felt over having her leave. What if she never came back like they did? I shook it off and headed for the stairs, thinking to get a head start on my homework assignments. Bainbridge gave out syllabi with pre-planned assignments and readings to prepare us for college. This was pretty much my routine since I didn’t have a social life.

  When I reached the landing I made a beeline for the shower, deciding to wash the day away first. After showering, I wrapped a towel around my body and headed for my room, flipping the light switch on as I entered. I immediately saw him lounging on my bed and felt my heart leap out of my chest. Thankfully, I didn’t scream or it would have alerted my aunt.

  “Close the door,” he said. I tensed at the angry and predatory tone of his voice. As I shut the door, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was locking myself in with the devil himself. “Lock it.” The sound of the click as I turned the lock was deafening as it echoed throughout the room. “Come here.”

  I faltered. I couldn’t get that close to Keiran with only a towel between us for protection. My gaze shifted around the room as I tried to think of a way out of this. I was hoping by now that he would have gotten over the cafeteria. I definitely didn't expect to find him in my room.

  “There are no second chances with me, Monroe. We both know what will happen if I have to come get you.”

  My feet carried me toward him while my mind was screaming and clawing the floor for the door. You can do this. Maybe he just wants to talk…yeah and bears don’t shit in the woods.

  I stopped at the foot of the bed and tried not to think of what seeing him sprawled across my bed was doing to me. His dark hair and skin contrasted deeply with the pale yellow blankets on my bed. He also made my queen sized bed seem incredibly small. He slowly sat up straight and planted his booted feet on the carpet. The look he gave me next could almost be mistaken for seductive but I knew better.

  “Closer,” he whispered and then gestured to the space between his legs. Breathing was nearly impossible now as I inched the rest of the way over, clutching my towel tighter around my body. He looked relaxed but I knew he was ready to pounce at any moment.

  “Ho—how did you get in here?” I stumbled over my question when he drew his legs in forcing me to step closer within his legs.

  “You have sixty seconds to tell me everything about Jesse Fitzgerald and what the fuck you were doing with him.”

  He completely caught me off guard and I stuttered out, “I’m not sure what you mean…”

  I was happy that my relationship with Jesse was something that Keiran would never be able to take away or taint because he was already gone. He also didn't have the right to question me about him or even sound…jealous. “He’s a friend.”

  “Did you fuck him?”

  “And if I had?”

  “I would kill him—and you.”

  The room grew silent as I searched for words, a reaction, something. Whatever I’d been expecting him to say, it wasn’t that. The angry possessiveness in his voice was unexpected along with the tingle I felt low in my belly. Not only that, but Keiran had just threatened my life again. Did he really hate me so much that he would actually kill me?

  “We never did anything. We were friends. I’m entitled to have them.”

  “Only for as long as I am willing to let you. I think you seem to forget who it is that controls you. I can fix that.”

  “How exactly do you plan to fix it? You can’t control someone.” I was bluffing and I knew it. He did control me. He has for ten years but I wouldn’t let him see that he’d already won.

  “Simple,” he shrugged. “You’re going to stop being friends with Willow.”

  Complete and utter desolation spread through me like a wild fire. My temperature rose until I was on the verge of passing out again. I continued to back away until my back was against the wall, literally and figuratively. He rose from my bed and stalked after me like a predator would stalk its prey.

  “But she’s my best friend. She’s all I have.”

  “Precisely.”

  “Why are you doing this?” I whispered in defeat. “I thought you wanted…”

  “Oh I want and I will take…” He toyed with the corner of my towel and my trembling increased until I was visibly shaking. “This is only the beginning. I told you I would make you pay but it’s going to be slow. I want to take my time with you.”

  Before I could say anything a knock sounded on the door, breaking us out of the moment. Keiran’s head turned towards the door before slowly turning back with a cold look on his face.

  “Keiran, no, please don't,” I whispered in dismay. He would hurt my aunt if she interfered.

  “Lake, are you okay? I thought I heard something.” I stared at Keiran, begging him with my eyes. .

  “Get rid of her,” he ordered but didn't move from his position in front of me.

  “Uh, yes, Aunt Carissa,” I called out, willing her away f
rom the door. “I—I’m fine. The window blew the door shut.” I looked over at the window that was tightly shut. The white curtains looked undisturbed making me question how Keiran got into the house.

  “Are you sure you’re okay, honey?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. I’m still getting dressed.”

  “Okay, well listen I’ve got an early start in the morning so I’m going to head to bed. Are you sure you will be okay staying by yourself for six weeks?”

  With everything that was going on the safest place for her to be was far away from Six Forks where Keiran couldn’t touch her.

  “Of course, Aunt Carissa, I’ll be fine. I have Willow if it gets lonely.” I choked on the words because I didn't know anymore how true those words were. Keiran’s hate for me ran deeper than I thought with no hope of an explanation.

  “If you’re sure. Goodnight, Lake.” I heard her soft footsteps walking away and slumped against the wall in relief. When her bedroom door closed, I chanced a look at Keiran who was watching me with a calculating look on his face.

  “Where is your aunt going for six weeks?”

  “A book tour and far away from you.” I wanted him to know that for now my aunt was untouchable but instead of seeing any sign of anger or defeat, he smiled and stepped closer, pressing me into the wall. He braced his hands against the wall on either side of my head and leaned down to whisper in my ear. “And so you think that makes her safe?”

  “For now.” There was no way he could get to her if she was out of the country.

  “I see.”

  His right hand dropped and I thought he was going to step back until I felt his fingers grip my thigh, lifting it up to wrap around his waist in one smooth movement. I clutched my towel to keep it from falling while silently pleading with him not to do whatever it was he was about to do. All the confidence I had moments before washed away.

  “I can feel the heat from your pussy burning through the towel,” he paused and moved his hand further up. “I bet if I ripped this shit away and touched you, you would be wet. Should we find out?”