The C Word: Redefining Me (Book 3)

by MacQueen, Michelle

  “Come on, Addie.” Cooper pulled her with him as he turned. “Let’s get you another drink.”

  The ringing bell jerked Julian from thoughts of his brother. As it always did, guilt swirled inside him. He’d been the reason Cooper got behind the wheel that night. There’d been a fist fight after he…

  “Mr. Callahan.” Mr. Randolph stood looming over Julian’s desk.

  Julian lifted his gaze, realizing his classmates were already heading out the door. “Yeah, teach?”

  “When you are in my class, I expect you to actually be in my class. Did you hear a word I said today?”

  Julian shrugged. “I’ll just read it in a book later. No big deal.”

  Mr. Randolph studied him as if trying to decipher the joke. Julian, read? How ridiculous did that sound? Julian almost laughed at his expression but held it back and slid out from behind his desk.

  He picked up his books and stepped around Mr. Randolph, who turned to follow him.

  “Be ready for the test on Friday,” he called after Julian.

  “Sure thing, Mr. R.” Julian waved a hand behind him and stepped into the hall.

  He was always ready for tests. It was one of the things that annoyed his teachers to no end. Julian skipped half his classes, yet he managed to ace all their lame tests.

  American literature was his final class of the day, but they’d just be discussing Of Mice and Men, which they were supposed to have finished. Julian wasn’t a fan of the classics, preferring either books with a history bent or his guilty pleasure, romance novels.

  He chuckled to himself thinking what his classmates would say if they knew the truant of Twin Rivers had a thing for sexy love stories.

  He considered walking out the doors, getting into his car, and heading home. His parents would both be at the family diner, and Peyton usually headed there straight after school for the dinner shift. It was his night off, and he’d have the house to himself.

  But he couldn’t leave. Not when Addison might need him. It was stupid how he hadn’t gotten over his insane crush. After the accident, he left town, returning eighteen months later. He wasn’t the same kid who’d once watched her every move.

  Now, he was darker, both physically and mentally. He’d lost his brother, yet couldn’t stop hating him. The bell signaling the start of class rang and students ducked through doors.

  Julian kept an eye out for the hall guards as he opened his locker and stuffed his books inside. He pulled out his Kindle and slammed the door shut. The sound echoed in the empty hall. Ducking into a stairwell he knew they didn’t patrol, he sat on one of the lower steps and powered on his e-reader. The seventh Outlander book was open. Peyton recommended the series to him after she’d borrowed his Kindle—without asking—and saw the kind of books he’d been reading.

  To her credit, she didn’t laugh. Peyton was good like that. The next hour flew by as Julian lost himself in colonial America.

  Five minutes before the end of class, he walked back into the hall and toward the other side of the building where Addison had Spanish. People would probably think it was creepy he knew that, but Julian was just observant. Meaning, he observed everything Addison did. Even now, when she’d turned into everything she’d always said she hated, he could sense her presence in a crowd as if she called to him.

  He shook his head, almost laughing. Addison Parker would never call to him. Not when she saw Cooper every time she looked at him. Julian saw the ghosts in her eyes, the desire to attach herself to people who didn’t care about her rather than the ones who once had.

  That night—Cooper’s drunken actions—haunted her.

  Students rushed into the hall as the final bell rang. Julian leaned against the wall by the door, acting as if he was meant to be there. No one spared him a glance until her. Addison appeared in the doorway, struggling to carry her messenger bag as she leaned on her crutches.

  Helplessness crossed her face, and Addison Parker was never helpless.

  Julian kicked off the wall as her eyes found his, relief shining in them. She might have a bite to her now, but she knew Julian would help her, anyway.

  He couldn’t stop himself.

  She ignored him, yelled at him, and compared him to Cooper, but he wouldn’t let her fend for herself. He wasn’t her. He couldn’t just write people off.

  Before he reached her, Meghan skipped out of the room, her cheerleading uniform leaving little to the imagination. Long, toned legs, fake tan, blond hair. She was half the male student population’s wet dream. But Julian saw her distaste for anything and everything. He’d watched her belittle Peyton and Cam and Nari. She even treated Avery like crap until he’d finally dumped her.

  Meghan walked quickly, and Addison tried to keep up. She stumbled, and her bag slipped from her shoulder and crashed to the ground. Julian jumped to help her, but another set of hands, large hands meant to hold a football, reached for the bag.

  A smile spread across Addison’s face as she gazed up at Beckett Anderson. He returned her grin, tossing her bag over his shoulder as he straightened.

  “Can I help the lady?” he asked, gesturing for Addison to walk beside him.

  Julian rolled his eyes and turned in the other direction. He couldn’t even hate Becks for his charm. They were friends…sort of. Becks was the lead singer of Julian’s band. At school, it was as if they didn’t know each other. But on stage…they fit. And Becks was a good guy.

  Better than Cooper, at least.

  “Julian.” Nari appeared at his side.

  He raised a brow at the fact she was hanging out with him in the hall. They didn’t do that. Julian wasn’t really the kind of guy people wanted to associate with.

  Nari shrugged. “I wanted to practice tonight, but Becks just texted me he was with Addison.” She mimicked gagging. There was no love lost between the two even if they occasionally looked at each other like they wanted nothing more than to regain the friendship they’d once had. “He wanted to bring her to practice, but yeah… Not ready to have the entire school know about the band.”

  “Me either.” He didn’t say he also didn’t relish the thought of seeing Becks and Addison flirt all evening.

  “Sooo … diner? I know Peyton is working, but she said you’re off. I thought we could work on some new songs.”

  Julian suppressed a grin. “I thought you and Avery would be hanging out.”

  That earned him a punch to the arm. The entire school thought Avery and Nari were dating over break. Julian had seen the picture of them kissing, but he also knew Nari.

  “I am never hanging out with Avery again. I can’t believe he told everyone we’re dating. Today has been the weirdest day of my life.”

  “Whatever you say, Nari.” They stepped outside. “Come on. The Main it is.” She gestured to his Kindle. “What are you reading?”

  “Oh.” His face heated up. “Um … it’s um … historical fiction. Yeah, just Revolutionary War stuff.”

  “Have I heard of it?”

  He always forgot Nari was as much a reader as him. She’d recognize any info on Outlander if he gave it to her. He shook his head. “Probably not. It’s … bloody. Yeah, a bloody, manly book.” He cringed at his own words.

  Nari scrunched her face in distaste. They’d gotten into many discussions about books, and she was always clear about what she didn’t like: Blood and sex. Nari was an innocent who even refused to curse.

  It was one of the things he liked about her.

  She slid into his Honda. “I don’t know why you read that crap.”

  He tucked his Kindle in the glove box, out of sight. “So, what kind of songs are we working on today?”

  “Angry ones.”

  He almost laughed. Nari was not an angry person. “Angry songs?”

  She nodded. “About castration.”

  He choked. “Castration?” The word wheezed out of him.

  “I may have issues.”

  “What did Avery do to you?” He really wanted to know if the
re was an ass to kick. He’d been friends with Avery once, but Nari was too good for the football star who’d dated Meghan Lewis of all people. If Avery hurt Nari, he’d pay.

  She sighed. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

  “You promise?”

  She nodded, leaning her head against the cold glass of the window, a firm set to her jaw. Julian didn’t believe her, but he let it go, realizing if she wanted to confide in someone, it wouldn’t be him.

  They were bandmates, nothing else, because Julian knew becoming friends with people only led to disappointment.

  3

  Addison

  “All right, gimpy girl, I gotcha.” Becks shouldered Addie through the back door of her house.

  “These crutches are killing me.” She wanted to throw them across the room.

  “So, stop trying to do everything yourself, Addie.” Becks guided her to the couch in the living room. “That’s how you get hurt.”

  “I don’t like depending on other people,” she muttered.

  “At least stop trying to navigate the steps by yourself.” Becks made himself at home, getting her an ice pack for her foot.

  He’d yelled at her the whole way home after finding her at the bottom of the concrete steps into the school parking lot. It was just a few steps. She thought she could manage them on her own, but she stumbled down the last two steps and landed on her ass. She managed to hurt her already injured foot in the process.

  “Where are your pills?” Becks asked.

  “Just grab the ibuprofen on the counter.”

  “You don’t have a prescription for pain?”

  “I do. I just don’t like to take it.”

  “I think this counts as an occasion to take it,” Becks insisted.

  “It’s in the cabinet to the left of the fridge. I’ll just take half.”

  “You should take a whole one.” Becks sat on the couch beside her with a water bottle and an ice pack.

  “What are you, a nurse in training?” she teased.

  He draped his arm behind her and handed her the bottle of pills. Addie cringed at his nearness, instinctively backing away from him.

  “Can you help me with this?” She loosened the Velcro straps around her knee, eager to get the damn boot off.

  “Sure, just call me Dr. Beckett.” He kneeled on the floor in front of her to loosen the straps and ease her foot out of the contraption. She wanted to take the compression socks off too but they were too hard to get back on. “That looks painful, kid.” His hand slid over the swollen mound of her ankle, and she jerked away from his touch.

  “Sorry. It’s still tender.” But her reaction had nothing to do with her injury.

  “How about you lay down and get comfortable with this ice pack, and then I’ll leave you alone.”

  “Could you grab the yoga pants and T-shirt folded on the dryer in the laundry room? I want to change out of these clothes.”

  “Sure.” He darted down the hallway to the back door where the laundry room door stood open.

  “Uh, can you manage this on your own?” He looked at her, terrified he might have to help her change.

  “Just go grab yourself a snack and don’t peek.”

  “I can do that. I’ll make you some toast or something. Just, uh, call out if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, Becks.” She shrugged out of the simple dress she’d worn to school and tossed the soft, fuzzy T-shirt over her head. Struggling into the yoga pants wasn’t so easy. By the time she collapsed back on the sofa, she was exhausted and ready for Becks to leave.

  “All covered,” she called out. “What are you doing in there?” Something smelled heavenly.

  “I made you some salsa and ranch avocado toast.” He came back carrying a tray with the toast and a tall glass of her favorite strawberry-infused water. He set the tray down. “Eat that while I make you a place to lay down. And don’t be a hero, take your damn pill, woman.” He plopped the pill bottle on her tray and proceeded to pull all the couch cushions off, stacking them on one end so she could lie against them.

  “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” She munched on the toast and popped the top off the prescription bottle to fish out a pill.

  After she finished her snack, Becks took her empty dishes to the kitchen “Okay, stand up, and I’ll help you get settled.”

  Addison managed to get up, putting her weight on her good leg, but she wobbled and almost fell again.

  “Put your arms around my neck,” Becks instructed.

  Addison hesitated but did as he said. She groaned as he eased her back onto the pile of cushions and moved to prop her feet up on a pillow. “Thanks, Becks,” she said. “You’re a lifesaver.”

  He wrapped her foot with a dish towel and pressed the ice pack to her injury. “Let’s finish tucking you in.” He draped a fuzzy blanket over her. “Now, before I go, do you need anything else?”

  “My bag, please?” She smiled, already feeling the effects of the medicine starting to warm her insides.

  “Here you go.” He placed her messenger bag on the floor beside her and moved her drink within reach. “And you’ll call me if you need anything?”

  “Sure, Becks.”

  “And the next time you’re standing alone at the top of the steps, you’ll text me or ask someone nearby for help?”

  “Sure, Becks.”

  “All right. Take a nap, girl. You look exhausted.” He flashed her a brilliant smile and let himself out the back door.

  Addison breathed a sigh of relief when she was finally alone. After such a long crappy day, she wanted nothing more than to curl up with a good book and relax.

  She leaned over and pulled a paperback from her bag. Wizard’s Empire. Definitely not her normal reading material, but the book was a recommendation from her secret BookBoy friend. They met on the No BS app weeks ago. She still didn’t know his name since they both preferred to remain anonymous. They were obviously from different social cliques, but they talked every day, and Addison looked forward to their lively conversations. In reality, she knew he was probably someone she would normally never talk to, and that made her ashamed of herself.

  Just as she got back to the part where the two main characters were about to kiss for the first time, her phone buzzed.

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: Does Beth die? I have to know if Beth dies??

  She laughed out loud, her mood lifting immediately.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: Keep reading the damn book! I promised you would love it.

  Addison smiled at his enthusiasm for Little Women—one of her favorite books of all time. They were pushing each other out of their genre comfort zones. Addie liked classic literature and contemporary literary fiction, but he liked historical fiction, epic fantasy, and cheesy romance—the more romance, the better. She knew he’d love the will-they-or-won’t-they of Laurie’s relationship with Jo March. And she had to admit, she was really enjoying the fantasy adventure element of Wizard’s Empire more than she thought she would. The romance between Charles and Kaitlyn was already killing her. The gaming nerds at school would probably have a conniption if they knew she was reading this.

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: I will never speak to you again if Beth dies.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: Kaitlyn was just about to kiss Charles when you texted.

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: Don’t get used to it. There are fifteen books, plus the novellas. And then there’s the Andrea Chronicles… but you haven’t met Andrea yet.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: Fifteen books? I hate you. Are they all a thousand pages?

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: Did I forget to mention that? Oops.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: You’re reading the Anne of Green Gables series next.

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: Admit it, you’re hooked on Charles and Kaitlyn.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: Maybe l’ll just read the books till they get together.

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: Bahahahahaha, yeah do that ;) Smart plan.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: Ugh, it takes fifteen bo
oks to get them together?

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: Just read the damn book lol. Then you can decide if you’re in it for the long haul.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: Fine, I’m going back to read about this kiss now TTYL

  —@DontTouchMyBooks: Beth is going to die isn’t she? I just know it.

  —@ShutUpAndDrive: Grab the tissues ;)

  Addie quickly lost herself in a crumbling world of magic, evil kings, and the hopeless love of the two main characters. Reading always gave her an escape from her reality. In many ways, it saved her life after Cooper Callahan died. For so many years, she’d idolized him, waiting for him to see her as more than his little sister’s best friend. He would flirt with her, knowing she was in love with him, but it never came to anything. Until that night. When it seemed like he finally saw her. And then everything went wrong, and her love for him died with him at the bottom of the river.

  “Addison Parker, you’re supposed to be at practice,” her mother’s shrill voice echoed across the silent living room, pulling Addie away from her happy place.

  “I’m sorry, Mom, I had a bad day with my foot. I had to come home and get some ice on it for a while.”

  “You could get off your foot while you’re at practice leading those girls from the bench.” Nancy Parker slid her designer sunglasses off her face, setting a pile of bags and boxes on the coffee table. She’d spent the day shopping. Again. “You can’t relax now, honey.” She collapsed into the plush high wingback armchair that might as well have been her throne. Black with silver gilt around the edges, it was a throne fit for a modern queen. Or the perfect trophy wife.