Ride On

by Stephen J. Martin

  ‘Fucking hell! Bastards! Dirty fucking scumbag cun …’

  ‘And then there’s a picture of Susan and you underneath.’

  ‘What?! Where the fuck did they get a picture of Susan and me?’

  ‘I don’t know. But she’s not smiling or anything and the caption under it says, “Plester … not amused”.’

  ‘But Dónal … but … and what source close to the band is telling them this shit?’

  ‘No one is, Jimmy. It’s just a way for them to say any oul’ shite. They make it up.’

  ‘Pricks! I’ve known Jennifer for twenty bleedin’ years! What paper is it? We have to get on to them and … and …’

  ‘Jimmy, I know you’re pissed off, but even though it’s all bollocks it’s the kind of thing that happens. You’re not to go mad or anything.’

  ‘But it’s not even true! We have to sue them or something. Can we? Is that … eh … libel or … ?’

  ‘Probably not. They didn’t actually say anything that isn’t true, except for the bit about the source and they can easily get away with that. And anyway, something like this is tiny compared to some of the shit they can pull. It’s not worth it. I’m only telling you because I didn’t want you to see it first. And I know how you feel about Susan.’

  ‘Jesus.’ Jimmy had his free hand on his face. ‘Bastards …’

  ‘Yeah. Well anyway, you might want to give her a call. I’m very sorry about this, man. I hope it doesn’t mess things up for the two of you, but it sounds like she already saw it.’

  ‘Well it would explain the last bleedin’ phone call I got anyway.’

  ‘Man, I have to run. I’ll scan the piece and email it to you. Or I’ll just bring it to London?’

  ‘Can you email it? Now. I’ll go into town and find an Internet café or something. We’re in the middle of nowhere out here.’

  ‘Okay. I’ll do it when I hang up. Listen, I’ll catch you later, right?’

  ‘Yeah. Thanks Dónal. Seeya.’

  ‘Seeya Jimmy.’

  Jimmy put the phone down and looked at it for a minute, biting at his knuckle. Then he picked it up again and put on his coat. She probably hated his guts now but he had to call her and apologise. To tell her it wasn’t the way they made it out too, of course, but more importantly to apologise for scandalising her on the pages of some crap rag. But he wasn’t going to do it here where the other two were hanging around. She had every right to be absolutely livid. Of course she did. Christ, at least Jimmy was getting used to being in the public eye. But Susan didn’t deserve this.

  He went out of the house and looked over at the others. He had to tell them about London and about Dónal getting in touch with Trish earlier.

  ‘No Aesop,’ Norman was saying. ‘Along the grain.’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘You’re not. Here, I’ll show you again.’

  ‘I can do it.’

  ‘You’re making a balls of it.’

  ‘Leave me alone Norman. I can do it.’

  ‘You’re going around in circles!’

  ‘Will you fuck off! I can paint a bleedin’ door.’

  ‘I keep telling you, it’s not paint. Here … just let me …’

  Jimmy sighed and went over to his car. He’d talk to them later.

  ‘Lads, I’m going out for a bit,’ he called back.

  ‘Can I come?’ said Aesop.

  ‘Yeah, Jesus,’ said Norman. ‘Will you bring him, Jimmy? Please. He has me tormented here.’

  ‘Sorry man. I have to sort something out. Seeya in an hour or so.’

  While Norman was distracted, Aesop made another grab at the paintbrush. The can of wood stainer went flying off the bench and spilled onto the ground.

  ‘Oops.’

  ‘You fuckin’ little …’

  Norman was looking down at his ruined shoes.

  ‘Norman … now Norman … deep breaths …’

  Jimmy shook his head and sat into the car. In the back window he could see Norman chasing Aesop down the garden.

  Twenty minutes later, he pulled in and parked on the main road of Kanturk. His head was still going a million miles a minute, so he decided to walk back down to the river and sit down for a smoke. It was lovely there, with the water folding over the rocks and clouds racing in the sky. When he was sure the email would be in from Dónal, he went back and found an Internet café. Two minutes later he was fuming again, the small scanned article on the screen in front of him.

  ‘Bastards …’ he muttered. He sighed and pulled out his phone. He had to call her. Had to.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hey Susan. It’s Jimmy.’

  ‘Oh. Jimmy. Jimmy, I’m in work.’

  ‘Can you talk? Is there somewhere you can … eh …’

  ‘Well … look, just hang on a minute, can you? I’ll see if the conference room is free.’

  ‘No problem Susan.’

  He heard a few muffled clicks and scrapes as she moved and used the time to take a couple of big breaths. That seemed to go okay. She didn’t sound like she was going to read him the riot act anyway.

  ‘Jimmy?’

  ‘Yep. Still here.’

  ‘Good. I wanted to talk to you.’

  ‘Yeah? Great. I really wanted to talk to you too. The last time we …’

  ‘It’s not about us Jimmy,’ she said. She was trying to sound all business-like. ‘I was just wondering if you or Aesop had heard from Amanda.’

  ‘Amanda? No. I don’t think so. Why?’

  ‘Well, it’s just that I haven’t heard from her for a few weeks and she said she’d keep in touch.’

  ‘She’s in Paris, isn’t she?’

  ‘I think she was, but she might be in Ireland now.’

  ‘Right. Well, I haven’t heard from her. And Aesop hasn’t been on email for a few days. We’re down in Cork taking a little break. Norman’s Granny’s old house.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Why do you think she’s in Ireland?’

  ‘Well it’s just that the last time she called me, I could hear all these people swearing in the background, so … y’know …’

  ‘Eh … okay. Well I’ll ask Aesop to check his messages and let you know.’

  ‘Thanks. I’m sure she’s fine and all, but I just wanted to ask you if she’d been onto you. She was talking about Aesop a lot before she left. I think she’s still hung up on him.’

  ‘God. Listen Susan, you should probably tell her that he’s not worth getting hung up on, y’know?’

  ‘I know. I have. But she’s kind of got it in her head. And she really wasn’t herself before she left. She might have the idea that, well, there might be something there and try to see him. It was all, “I must send Paul an email” and “I wonder how Paul is getting on” and all that. She never calls him Aesop. It’s like a special thing they have between them.’

  ‘They don’t have a special thing, Susan, sorry. And it’s nothing to do with Amanda. She’s just barking up the wrong tree with that fella.’

  ‘So I gathered. Okay. Well anyway … what did you want to talk about? Jimmy, I kind of said everything I had to say last time.’

  ‘Yeah. I understand. But I just got off the phone with Dónal. Remember Dónal? Our manager?’

  ‘I remember.’

  ‘Well he told me about what they put in that newspaper over there. And he emailed it to me. I’m looking at it right now.’

  She didn’t say anything.

  ‘Susan, I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe those bastards did that. I’m so sorry. I understand now why … y’know … the last time we spoke …’

  Nothing.

  ‘Listen … I mean I’m only starting to get used to all this stuff myself, but I do know how you must have felt. Please, I … it was a horrible thing to have happen to you. And I’m sorry. Really sorry. Susan? Are … are you still there?’

  ‘Yes.’

  She was crying. He could hear the sniffles. Fuck.

  ‘I got s
uch a shock Jimmy.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘I felt so … God, it was like the Twilight Zone, but there I was on the page.’

  ‘I’m sorry. If there’s any way to get the pricks for doing that, I’ll find it. I swear.’

  ‘Everyone knew. Everyone knew I was seeing you. I know it was hard, with you being in Ireland and all, but I was so proud, Jimmy. You’d come on the telly or they’d play your songs in the pub and everyone would look at me and give a big cheer. I was so proud of you. Like a bloody fool. Thought I’d bagged a real live rockstar! God, I’m so stupid …’

  ‘Listen Susan, before you say anything else … listen, right?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That girl in the picture was Aesop’s sister. Jennifer. Remember I told you …’

  ‘Oh Jimmy don’t. Please …’

  ‘I swear to God, Susan. It was Jennifer. I’ve known her all my life. I’m going to be the best man at her wedding this year. Marco is my mate. We worked together for years. He’d be right next to her in the picture if the bastard that took it didn’t cut him out. You would have met her in Dublin except she’s in Galway every other week for work. Really, Susan. That whole bullshit article was nothing only some idiot’s idea of a gossip column.’

  ‘She’s kissing you.’

  ‘She’s like my sister, Susan. I’d just given her a wedding present and she was kissing me to say thanks. I don’t know what fucking hole the photographer crawled out of at that particular moment, but that’s the picture he published. And I don’t know where the other one came from either. Jesus, they must really hide behind hedges or something, the fu …’

  ‘Jimmy …’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘I … how many girls have there been since I was in Dublin?’

  ‘One. You.’

  ‘Please Jimmy … don’t …’

  ‘I swear.’

  ‘But why? For God’s sake, we’re not even together! We were just … barely clinging onto it.’

  ‘I know that. And I know that it’s my fault. Susan, I’m going to be on the road for at least six months this year. I’ll be in the studio for four at least when we get back. How can I ask you to …’

  ‘But you haven’t asked me, Jimmy! You just figured it all out on your own and decided what was best.’

  Now it was Jimmy’s turn to say nothing.

  ‘Jimmy, I had my mother in tears on the phone over that newspaper piece.’

  ‘Aw fuck. I’m sorry.’

  ‘My twelve year old niece was crying because I promised her that she could meet you when you came over to visit. My Dad wants to murder you and you don’t want to know the things my sister says about you. These are people I love, Jimmy. Do you understand what this last week has been like for me?’

  ‘Yeah. I do.’

  ‘Jimmy, I can’t wait around for twelve months so you can sort yourself out. I actually thought I might be able to, but I can’t. After this? What would happen? I fly over to see you for a few days, get snapped leaving your hotel some morning? Another notch on the rockstar’s bedpost?’

  ‘What?! It wouldn’t be like that at all Susan. I’m not like that.’

  ‘Well, maybe I can believe that, Jimmy. But you’re public property now and I’ve got other people to think about. What would your Mum have thought if it had been an Irish paper? Smutty stories about her darling son. Well I’ve got a family too, Jimmy. I’m not putting them through that. I haven’t been able to go out for a week since that picture came out. I go home from work and watch the TV. That’s it. I was so embarrassed. The groupie. That’s what they all think I am now.’

  ‘No one thinks that, Susan. That’s only …’

  ‘Jimmy, please. I’m sorry I gave you a hard time last time we spoke. I thought … well, I s’pose you know what I was thinking. And I’m sorry for thinking it. But no more newspapers for me. It’s not who I am. I don’t do socialite slut and I won’t be your half girlfriend either. I’m sorry Jimmy.’

  ‘Susan, listen, I’ll be in London this weekend. For work. Why don’t we …’

  ‘No! Jimmy, please don’t call. Please. I’ve made up my mind. This isn’t working and we need to let it go before it gets worse.’

  ‘But if we just … this weekend …’

  ‘No Jimmy. No. God, I can’t see you now.’

  She was crying again.

  ‘But why? Susan, listen, we can have the whole weekend. I don’t have to be back until …’

  ‘Bloody hell, Jimmy, can you not … not just leave me alone?’

  ‘No. I don’t want to.’

  ‘Please. Don’t call when you get here.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s too hard. It’s too hard.’

  ‘But it’s just a weekend. We can talk … why does that have to be hard?’

  She was barely audible now through the sobbing, but Jimmy heard the next thing she said and it was like a punch in the chest.

  ‘Because I love you Jimmy!’

  And then pinpricks of cold marched up his back and into his hair.

  Chapter Eighteen

  ‘Amanda who?’ said Aesop.

  Jimmy put his face into his hands and looked through his fingers.

  ‘Fuck sakes … Susan’s friend, Aesop.’

  Aesop’s face was totally blank.

  ‘Susan …’ he said, rubbing his chin.

  Jimmy sighed.

  ‘Yeah. My girlfriend, you fucking waste of space. Amanda is her friend. With the GT-R?’

  ‘The GT … ? Ah yeah. I remember now. English bird. I rode her in Japan.’

  ‘Well at least you got the continent right.’

  ‘And she’s gone AWOL, is she?’

  ‘Well Susan hasn’t heard from her for a bit and she was just wondering if you had.’

  ‘Why would I have heard from her?’

  ‘Because the poor insane girl still has a thing for you.’

  ‘I see. A cling-on? Phasers on stun, like?’

  ‘Just check your email when you can and let me know if she’s been onto you, okay?’

  ‘No problem. But does she not know that I’m engaged to Helen now?’

  ‘Does Helen know?’

  Norman turned around from the sink where he was peeling spuds.

  ‘I’ve a sharp knife over here in me hand, Aesop. Shut your hole. You’re on probation until I hear from Trish later. And by the way, you owe me a pair of work boots.’

  ‘Paint on the shoes is an occupational hazard for clod-hoppers like that, Norman. And anyway, if you’d let me have a proper go it never would’ve spilt.’

  ‘Well I want a new pair, Aesop. These are your clod-hoppers now.’

  ‘Mine? What am I meant to do with a pair of size seventeen boots? Jesus, me and Jimmy could make matching jackets out of them.’

  ‘I don’t give a shite what you do with them. Hey Jimmy, Susan reckons that Amanda is over here, is it?’

  ‘Yeah. Why?’

  ‘Ah just wondering. I never met her, but I heard all the stories. Nice girl?’

  ‘Grand, yeah. But she was a bit down. She was after getting dumped and all and thought that this degenerate over here might be her new Prince Charming.’

  ‘God. Talk about being wide of the mark.’

  ‘Yeah. Anyway, she’s off travelling now and Susan was wondering why she hadn’t been in touch.’

  ‘Right.’

  Norman got back to peeling the spuds. He didn’t want to say anything yet.

  ‘Do you still have all them photos on your laptop?’ he said over his shoulder. ‘From the holiday, like?’

  ‘Yeah, they’re in me room. Do you want to have a look at them?’

  ‘Sure why not. It’s raining out now. Something to do. I only saw them for a minute when you got back.’

  ‘Yeah, well they’re in there. Hang on and I’ll get them.’

  Aesop yawned.

  ‘Jesus, is this what we’re reduced to now, is it? A slide show from the holliers? Is
n’t the country great? So much more fun than Dublin. I’ve always said it.’

  ‘Would you rather finish the potatoes?’

  ‘Peel potatoes? Man, you don’t want me peeling your spuds. You’ll end up with marbles.’

  ‘So you’ve nothing at all to contribute. And yet here you are … still flapping your gob.’

  ‘What are we having anyway?’

  ‘I’m making a curry.’

  ‘A curry? I’m not great with spicy stuff, Norman.’

  ‘It won’t be too bad.’

  ‘What kind of curry?’

  ‘Beef vindaloo.’

  ‘Is that a hot one?’

  ‘Nah. You’ll be fine.’

  ‘Are you sure, now?’

  ‘Aesop, what kind of a whinging fucking child are you? It’s only a bit of spice. It won’t kill you.’

  ‘I’m just saying, like …’

  Jimmy came back with his computer and fired it up.

  ‘Actually, I haven’t looked at these in ages.’

  They crowded around him at the coffee table.

  ‘Look! There’s Johnny!’ laughed Aesop. ‘He doesn’t know I’m after robbing his pint, look.’

  It was a on a slideshow setting, each new picture fading into the last one.

  ‘That’s the band in Tokyo is it?’ said Norman. ‘In that pub?’

  ‘What the Dickens, yeah. Remember that bloke in the rubber gimp suit Aesop?’

  ‘Now that I do remember. He fancied me as well. Madame Tina, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Jaysis, he remembers the name and all. Yeah, Madame Tina. Mad fucker.’

  ‘Oh there’s Shiggy. Nice pose man.’

  ‘He was showing off his new hair cut.’

  They all laughed at the next one.

  ‘That’s Samui. Prem must have taken that one out in the garden.’

  Then up came a picture of Jimmy, Susan, Aesop and Amanda, the four of them standing together just at the edge of the sea. The lads all stopped laughing and bent in very slightly closer for a better look.