Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  My heart was pounding. I didn't want him to leave. I just wanted him to hold me all night, to hypnotize me with his beautiful eyes while embracing me. Mike was dying to do that with me, but I was slowly realizing that he wasn’t who I wanted.

  What was it about Kellan? I’d never felt this way before. He fascinated me. He's like a mysterious beauty. He's open with me yet so reserved, obviously hiding beneath his exterior. He seemed so in control of himself while I felt so out of control dreaming, longing for just one intimate moment with this dark attractive creature.

  Hearing the rev of his engine as he sped off, I returned to the kitchen to finish my sandwich. Still hungry, I grabbed a slice of cold pizza and a coke from the fridge.

  "I'm going to call Mel," I announced already heading towards the stairs.

  "Ok sweetie. Good night," my mother called after me.

  I dialed Mel and revisited the events of the night with her leaving out Kellan’s bookstore secret. She reveled in every element despite the negative outlook I now held over my relationship with Mike. Amidst her commenting though, her mom walked in the door.

  "Got to go for tonight Lex. My mom just got home. I'll talk to you tomorrow," she promised. I could tell by her tone that she was upset about missing the outing. Mel had a complicated living situation with her mom and brother. I was the only person she was allowed to spend unlimited time with, but even that had its restrictions.

  "'kay, night," I replied.

  By the time my conversation ended with Mel it was 11:30pm. I laid back on my bed. Although things were awkward at points, overall it was a good night. I still couldn’t get a handle on my attraction for Kellan; we had some strange connection I couldn’t describe beyond the physical. With one look into his eyes I desired more; my self-control went out the window and I was clay in his hands. But emotionally, mentally, I was drawn into him, lost in him as if he were a stimulating piece of literature.

  Then there was Mike. He was a good-looking guy. While he was annoying at times, I was pretty sure his intentions were pure. Consequently, there was so much to consider, especially when you added in the secret Kellan almost shared. I was exhausted just entertaining my mind with it all, and quickly fell into a light sleep. I began to dream of Kellan, but just knowing I could do everything I desired with him in my dreams, I allowed myself to slip deeper into sleep.

  Chapter 6

  I woke up in a daze, again questioning the events of the night before. I glanced at my bedside clock, surprised when it read 12:32pm. I must have been exhausted; I never slept more than eight hours so it definitely was not like me to sleep twelve.

  I felt my phone buzzing beside me, still attached to the charger. I unplugged it and was immediately bombarded with alerts. I had two missed calls from Mel, a text from Mel, a text from Kellan, a missed call from Mike and two text messages from Mike. I checked Mel’s text first – ‘Call me ASAP! Mike is on his way over!’ Kellan wrote ‘Text me when you’re up.’ Mike’s first message read ‘Good morning’, and the next asked ‘Got any plans today?’

  I text Kellan back quickly, ‘I’m up.’

  Then I text Mike, ‘no plans so far, but then again I just got up.’

  Before I could even dial Mel’s number my phone was buzzing; it was her.

  “Hello?”

  “O.M.G. Lex! Where the heck have you been?!” she yelled.

  “I just woke up. What’s going on? What happened?” I immediately panicked at her tone despite being groggy still.

  “Mike is what happened,” she stated firmly.

  “I don’t get it. What’s going on?”

  “Lex, open your bedroom door and listen downstairs,” she instructed.

  “NO! He isn’t!”

  “Lex, I’ve been trying to warn you. I talked to Rando earlier. Apparently Mike was talking a lot of crap last night and this morning since you gave him the brush off in front of Kellan. The scary part is he sounds obsessive Rando said. It’s like he’s hell bent on marking his territory. He wasn’t like this before, I swear. I didn’t even know this side of him existed. Rando said it was like he snapped. Oh my gosh, I would never have encouraged you to have a relationship with a potentially abusive stalker. I’m so sorry Lex. Please say you forgive me,” she pleaded amidst explanation.

  “I haven’t even been awake for five minutes and already my day is upside down,” I whined. I sighed, debating what to do. What could I do really? He was downstairs, which meant inevitably he was talking to my parents. “What am I doing? I’ve got to get down there! I’ll call you later Mel,” I exclaimed and closed the phone before she could answer.

  Not bothering to change or even brush my teeth, I stomped downstairs to make my presence known. I didn’t care how I came across; I just wanted him to know that this was not acceptable. I reached the bottom of the stairs expecting, well, I don’t know what I was anticipating, but it’s not what I heard. I heard laughter; Mike and my parents were laughing. This was beyond my mental capacity in my fuzzy state.

  I rounded the corner with hesitation observing everyone’s body language. My dad sat on the end of the sectional with his feet up on the chaise lounge, my mother sat beside him and they both were looking at Mike, who was sitting next to my mother telling them some story about who knows what. I felt like I was dreaming. There was no other explanation for the scene in front of me.

  “Good morning sleepy head,” my dad greeted.

  Mike turned around and looked at me for a minute before breathlessly stating, “Morning.”

  My mother watched the two of us, and, weary of my expression, felt the need to explain. “Mike hasn’t been here long sweetie. Did you sleep well?”

  I remained frozen in place, staring at all three of them in disbelief.

  “Are you ok sweetie?” my mother asked, concern dipped in the tiniest and only crease on her forehead.

  “I’m fine, Mom,” I finally replied. “Just didn’t expect to entertain a crowd the moment I woke up,” I grumbled harshly while sneering at Mike. Did I mention that I’m sometimes a bear when I first wake up? Like just returning to the world from hibernation, at first I take in the scenery, but can quickly attack without a moment’s notice if crossed. He was brave. He got up and walked towards me.

  “Sorry babe. I know I should have waited for you to call, but I couldn’t wait to see you.”

  I sighed, ignoring his gesture of cause, and walked towards the kitchen. I grabbed the ingredients for my bowl of cereal and sat at the island acting as if he wasn’t there. He sat beside me, ignoring my signs.

  My mind was reeling with the information Mel gave me. I expected Mike to be aggressive, overly animated in a creepy way almost, based on Rando’s recollection, but saw no signs.

  “Um, your mom and I are going to run some errands. We’ll be back later. Will you be ok kiddo?” Dad asked.

  “I’ll be fine. Have fun,” I mumbled dismissively, taking my first bite.

  “It was nice seeing you again Mike,” my mother cited as my parents scurried out the room.

  “You too,” he smiled diligently.

  I couldn’t believe they were doing this. They were leaving me here alone, with a guy, and not just any guy, my boyfriend, on purpose. Was Kellan really that bad? They seemed to love Mike today, yet Kellan was supposed to be like family to them. I’m an intellectually advanced girl; I’m observant, analytical to a fault. What was I missing? None of it made sense. Why did they adore Mike yet despise Kellan in a silent sense? Then again, why the heck did my mom push me to ask Kellan out somewhere period? And why the heck was Mike at my house without an open invitation?

  “What do you want Mike?” I asked taking another bite and trying to mask my mounting frustration.

  “I told you. I wanted to see you,” he replied cheerfully. Wrong attitude to have with a grumpy bear.

  “Well, you’ve seen me now.”

  “Listen babe, I know I’m not the first person you wanted to see when you woke up this morning and I know I should ha
ve waited for you to call before I came over. Hell. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve never been this way with a girl before. I like you a lot Lex and can’t help feeling like I’m losing you after last night, so please try to be understanding over my sudden insanity,” he begged.

  I can’t explain the generosity that consumed me, but I actually felt compassion for him. Ironically, Mike was one of my first crushes. Back in sixth grade, when Mel and I first met him, I was infatuated with him. I liked him probably to the degree that he did with me now. The only problem was I didn’t feel the same anymore. I’d come to that conclusion as I fell asleep the night before.

  I looked over at Mike, sitting beside me with an anxious expression. Some time had passed since he talked and I knew my lack of response was causing him anxiety, so I finally spoke. “Did Mel ever tell you that I had a crush on you back in sixth grade?”

  He smiled wide, inspiring a small grin from me. “No. She didn’t.”

  “Well I did, but don’t let it go to your head,” I warned. “I liked you the entire year,” I continued. “Ok, like is a little weak. I was obsessed with you. I wouldn’t shut up about you. Mel used to loathe you because of me,” I laughed.

  He chuckled. “Really?”

  “Yup. I gave up on you though in eighth grade when I decided you liked Mel,” I admitted. So the bear could be tamed…

  “Ouch. That one stung a bit,” he stated.

  “Sorry. Just telling the truth,” I replied. I finished eating my cereal and got up to place the bowl in the sink. He got down and followed.

  “So what did you think of the movie last night?” he asked.

  “It was ok, kind of cheesy though,” I shrugged. I walked over toward the sectional. I had no other place to venture since he was still in the kitchen and I wasn’t quite ready to show him my room given my attire.

  “You screamed quite a bit for someone who thought the movie was cheesy,” he teased.

  “That’s exactly what Kellan said! Ugh. I was not that bad.”

  “Yea, you kind of were,” he smirked.

  “Ugh. Whatever,” I said throwing a pillow at him.

  “Hey. Watch it!” he warned. He tossed the pillow back onto the sofa as he came and sat about a foot away from me.

  “Or what?!” I pushed.

  “Don’t think I forgot that you’re ticklish.”

  “You wouldn’t dare,” I taunted giving him my best dark look possible.

  “That’s what you think,” he said before reaching across, closing the gap between us to tickle me. His hands were all over, gently brushing my body in all my weakest points. I was gasping for air between laughs and cries.

  “Stop!” I pleaded still in hysterics as my body squirmed into a lying position. He huddled over me without smothering me, but enough so I couldn’t escape his torture.

  “What was that? You want more?” he grinned, still hunched over me. It reminded me of a wrestling match gone awry. I knew I was cornered so my only chance of survival was to surrender.

  “Ok, okay!” I laughed. “I give up. I give up!” I writhed still trying to escape his devious fingers.

  He finally stopped. The moment he did the atmosphere took a serious turn despite the stupid grin on my face. He inched further on top of me, and my lips turned down. We lost all humor in that moment as our eyes met. We stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. Neither of us moved, locked by a connection that appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly he wasn’t hovering over me anymore; rather his body was limb for limb on top of mine. His left arm supported his upper body while embracing me, and he brought his right hand up running his fingers across my cheek.

  I felt a tingling within me. I knew what was coming and instead of being nervous, I was ready. Rapidly his lips crushed against mine. They were warm and soft yet urgent in their touch. His arms slid under my back pulling my chest against his.

  We opened and closed our mouths in unison. I could feel his breath on my tongue. It felt natural. It felt like I had suppressed a lifetime of anguish and was finally releasing it. His right hand slid along my shirt hem, but my arms remained glued to my sides preventing his entry.

  It was becoming too much for me. I felt the need for more slowly building, but I knew I wasn’t willing to do more, especially given what I thought had been a revelation last night. I lightened the touch of my lips to his, pulling away between locks yet leaving my eyes closed. Our breathing was heavy as he kissed me one last time gently and then lifted me from under him onto my side. I now was lying on my left side and he was lying beside me, holding me so I wouldn’t roll off the couch.

  He was the first one to speak. “Umm..wow. That was, uh.. breathtaking. I’ve kissed you before, but it was um… well, uh, never like that,” he stuttered between pants.

  I blushed as the reality of what happened set in. “You weren’t too bad yourself.”

  Our breathing was still a bit inflated and my heart still raced despite being able to speak calmly. I was in awe of this new man before me. I didn’t feel like I was kissing a boy I was prepared to dump, which had me looking at him in a new light. My only concern was, was what I felt lust or did I actually care for Mike in that capacity?

  Holding me tight with his right arm he released his left and began pulling my hair away from my face. I remained still, gazing at him while I mentally deciphered my reaction to his touch. Though we weren’t kissing, this silent moment held the same intimacy. His hand slid down to caress my face.

  Amidst his admiration he whispered, “You really are beautiful.”

  I didn’t respond, still absorbing what was happening and debating my intentions silently. I heard a buzzing noise off in the distance. It took me a minute to realize it was my phone still resting on the island.

  “My phone!” I gasped, snapping out of my trance. I nearly fell jumping up off the couch and stumbling into the kitchen. I grabbed my phone to my ear without checking the ID hoping I caught the call in time.

  “Hello?!” I asked panting from the commotion.

  “Hey Lexi. It’s Kellan.” He paused. “Are you okay?”

  “Hey Kellan. I’m fine. Just was trying to get to the phone in time. What’s up?” I asked as my breath slowed back to normal. I turned to see Mike watching me intently from the couch; he had moved to an upright position.

  “What does he want?” Mike whispered. I shrugged my shoulders awaiting Kellan’s response.

  “Are you done with your monologue yet?”

  “Yea. I finished it the other night. Do you need help with yours?” I offered.

  “No. I’m good.”

  “Ok. Let me know if you change your mind.” Though I was talking to Kellan, my mind was entirely focused on Mike and his intense gaze locked on me. It felt odd to have the sudden mental switch between the two guys.

  “I will. I’ll talk to you later,” he said.

  “Umm… ok,” I responded, closing the phone in confusion. Was that really all he called for? Why was everyone acting so strange lately? It’s still one giant puzzle to me.

  “What was that about?” Mike asked reflecting the same dismay I showcased.

  “I’m not really sure,” I replied. I looked down realizing I was still in my PJs. “Um, you want to hang out in my room for a bit? I need to shower and change.”

  “Sure,” he agreed with a grin.

  “Don’t get your hopes up. You’re not seeing anything,” I warned as we walked up the stairs.

  He chuckled. “I suspected that.”

  “Oh, well good.”

  Once in my room, Mike sprawled across my bed commenting on how comfortable and big it was while I dug in my closet for an outfit. I settled on a pair of navy blue yoga pants, though I’d never actually done yoga, with a plain white t-shirt. I grabbed panties and a bra, hiding them within my shirt, and hurried into the bathroom.

  I rushed in the shower not wanting Mike to snoop and brushed my teeth thoroughly in the event of another make-out session. I folded my pjs ne
atly leaving them on the bathroom counter. As I exited, I realized I was right to rush. Mike was walking around my room analyzing every picture and accessory. It was strange seeing a guy in my room. Until now, only Mel and my parents had been in it.

  I sat down on my bed prepared to interrupt his browsing. “So what do you want to do?”

  “Anything,” he shrugged happily, joining me on the bed.

  “Um, well I am kind of curious about something,” I stated slowly.

  “What do you want to know?” He was eager, giving off an exhilarated feeling.

  “How long have you liked me?” I asked.

  “Liked – since I met you, but as more than a friend, it’s been a little over two years now,” he answered honestly.

  “Why did you wait so long to tell me?” I really was curious to hear his answer.

  “Well, you kind of ignored me a lot when I tried to talk to you and Mel. At one point I thought you hated me. Mel was the one who set me straight.”

  “Oh.” I guess I had been stand-offish with him, but that’s because I thought he was attracted to Mel. I didn’t want to be the third wheel in their conversations. Perhaps that was why I was so unsure of our relationship. I was so sure that he had liked Mel that when his attention was entirely on me, I panicked fearing it was another high school prank.

  We both lied side by side on my bed, talking as our lives unfolded between us. It was an intimate conversation about everything that passed the hours quickly. I shared my infant travels, favorite food – Mexican, and color – green. He divulged his little league horror stories, Boy Scout escapades, and favorites as well – Italian, green, and he said his favorite song was Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing.’

  We laughed at classmates past, reveled in horror over certain teachers and discussed future college plans. Every subject we could brush upon it felt like we did. We rekindled what hours ago I thought was non-existent or lost. It wasn’t until my stomach growled and I peered over at the clock, 5:57pm, that I realized how much time had elapsed. I got up and looked out my blinds to see a darkening sky and the moon half raised.