Never Surrender: A MacKenzie Family Novella (The MacKenzie Family)

by Kaylea Cross

  “Guess they must have lost track of time,” Wade said with a wry smirk.

  “Lucky bastards,” Ryan said, snaking his arm around his wife’s waist to give her a squeeze, still hoping to smooth things over.

  Her curves never failed to turn him on. She was lush and ripe and soft in all the right places. He’d rather be upstairs losing track of time with her right now too, instead of down here and dreading arguing with her later.

  He was proud as hell of the wakeup call he’d given her last night, but this morning had been nice too. Slower. Sweeter. And yet he could feel her distancing herself from him now that they weren’t in bed together. He pulled her closer, determined to put an end to it.

  “Did everybody get the itinerary I sent last night?” Candace asked, leaning into him as she slipped her arm around his waist. That simple gesture eased some of the tension in his shoulders.

  “Yep. Us guys have to be back from our trip by Friday afternoon, in time for the welcome dinner,” Jackson said.

  “And don’t be late,” Erin added, poking her husband-to-be in the chest. “Our families will be here by then, so everyone will want to see you. Us, together.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Wade answered, his lips twitching.

  “We should go,” Candace said, glancing at her watch. “Don’t want to keep Grandma waiting.”

  Jackson grinned. “No, we wouldn’t want that.”

  Ryan shot him a look. “Trust me, man. You don’t wanna mess with Grandma, especially if it means keeping her from a glass of rye.”

  Candace huffed out a laugh and tugged on his hand to get him moving. “She’s not that bad.”

  As a group they crossed the lobby’s polished plank floor and walked toward the back of the building where piano music drifted out of the lounge. Someone was singing, someone without formal training by the off-key sound of it, and judging from the clapping and cheering going on inside, it wasn’t your average piano bar music happening in there.

  “Sounds like there’s a party going on,” he said. They were supposed to meet Ruby for a quiet drink before dinner.

  “Yeah, it does,” Candace agreed with a frown.

  A lineup of people waited at the lounge entrance, all wearing sport jackets and cocktail dresses. Ryan angled to the side and craned his neck to see what was going on in there. Once he did, he did a double-take. But no, his bloodshot, sleep-deprived eyes weren’t playing tricks on him.

  Grinning, he turned to the others. “You won’t freaking believe this. Or maybe you will.”

  “What?” Candace pushed past him as the others maneuvered for a better look.

  Two people at the head of the lineup entered the lounge, clearing a line of sight just as a raucous round of applause and whistles broke out. When Ace saw why, she gasped, both hands flying to her mouth. “Oh my God, Grandma…”

  “Grandma?” Maya shoved past him to see.

  And yep, there was Candace’s eighty-something grandma, wearing a glittery gold evening gown—sprawled out on her side atop the piano in what Ryan guessed was supposed to be her attempt at a pinup pose.

  Her short blue-white hair was curled tightly against her head, and she had a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other. She raised her glass in a toast to her approving, captive audience, then signaled the pianist and launched into the next song, her slightly off-key voice ringing off the wooden beams in the ceiling.

  The audience seemed to be loving the hell out of the spectacle, and so did everyone in their group, except Candace. She groaned and hid her face against Ryan’s shoulder. He patted her back in sympathy even as he chuckled and pulled out his phone to record the show. This was too freaking awesome.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” a familiar female voice said from behind them.

  Ryan looked over his shoulder and smiled at Devon and her husband, Cam, as they walked up. “Hey, good to see you.” He shook Cam’s hand and slapped his buddy’s shoulder.

  “Wow, Dev, you look fantastic!” Candace exclaimed, throwing her arms around the former army Blackhawk pilot.

  “Civilian life,” Dev said with a shrug, her black hair now grown out to shoulder length. “What can I say, it agrees with me.”

  “I’ll say it does.” There was something wistful in Candace’s expression as she said it.

  Ryan nodded at the Seattle Seahawk scarf artfully wrapped around Devon’s neck. “Nice scarf. Guess you’re looking forward to watching their first home game on Sunday?”

  “I can’t wait,” Dev said, her gray eyes sparkling. “You can dress me up in a fancy outfit and put me in high heels, but I’m still a tomboy at heart.”

  “A crazy hot one,” Cam told her, his arm around her waist.

  “Please, I don’t believe her,” Candace said to him. “I know she misses flying the 60s. Tell me the truth.”

  Cam gave his wife a gentle smile. “You totally miss it.”

  Devon smiled back at him. “Maybe sometimes. But my pay and benefits now as a private pilot are a helluva lot better than what I made in the army. It just sucks that you and I are so far apart all the time now.”

  Yeah, Ryan knew exactly what that felt like. Deployments were damn hard on relationships. Which was why the time together as a couple when they were stateside was so precious.

  “We’re gonna make up for lost time this week,” Cam promised, giving her a squeeze.

  “Us too,” Ryan said, hoping to start that right after he pried whatever was bugging Candace out of her once they got back to the room. “And to answer your earlier question,” he said to Devon, “payback is what’s going on in there.” He tipped his head toward the off-key singing.

  “Is that your…grandma?” Dev asked Candace, eyes widening as she peered into the crowded room.

  She made a strangled sound. “Unfortunately, yes.”

  Cam chuckled and shoved his hands into his pockets, blue eyes twinkling. “That’s awesome.”

  Ryan nodded and returned to filming, intent on capturing every moment of this. “For real. Especially once it hits YouTube.”

  Candace gasped and swatted his arm, trying to grab the phone from him. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Oh, baby, you know I would.” Damn, this was fun, and he was glad the mood had lightened between them.

  “Ryan…”

  He stopped recording and turned to capture her chin in his hand, leaning down to smother her protests with a smacking kiss. “I love it when you say my name like that, all stern and bossy.”

  She swatted his arm. “Behave.” But he caught the flash of hurt in her eyes when she turned away to talk to Erin.

  He smothered a disappointed sigh. Okay, he was definitely not off the hook then.

  Looked like they were going to have to hash things out after all. And rather than being impatient to get her alone in their room again, he suddenly found himself hoping this dinner would go on all night.

  Chapter Four

  “You look so hot in a cowboy hat.” Candace looped her arms around his neck and lifted up onto her toes to drop a light kiss on his mouth.

  “Yeah?”

  “Mm-hmm. And your beard makes you look the part even more.”

  She liked it when he grew a beard, which was pretty often for his job, and he loved rubbing it all over her naked body.

  Grasping her hips, he pulled her into his body. “Mmm, maybe I should skip the hunting trip and stay here with you.”

  Things seemed better between them today, and that was a relief. He’d expected her to say the dreaded words “we need to talk” as soon as they’d come back to the room late last night, but she hadn’t.

  Instead she’d curled into him when he’d pulled her onto the bed and taken everything off her but those sexy red heels, and she’d been anything but cool with him after that. Afterward, holding her in the darkness as they drifted off to sleep, he hadn’t brought up the issue, because hey, he wasn’t stupid.

  She laughed, the husky sound going straight to his groin. “You’d
rather get a facial and pedicure?”

  “I’d rather tie you to the bed again and make you come over and over.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Like you’ve been sex-deprived since you got here.”

  “I just can’t get enough of you.” His sincerity behind the words must have registered with her because her deep brown eyes softened.

  “I’m glad,” she murmured, and kissed him gently once more before pulling back.

  She was pretending like nothing was wrong, but something was definitely still off. She’d been gone again when he’d woken up this morning, and had only come back a few minutes ago, right before he had to leave to meet the others. She was going out of her way to avoid talking about the issue between them.

  That bugged him. He was getting to the point where he just wanted to confront her and get the damn conversation over with. Now wasn’t a good time, though, not when he was about to go away for the better part of two days. Because if things got heated, he didn’t want to leave things worse between them.

  “We’d better get a move on so you can get acquainted with your horse,” she said, and moved to the door like she couldn’t get out of the room fast enough. Like she couldn’t wait to be rid of him.

  His patience snapped.

  He stopped her with a hand on the shoulder and spun her around. “All right,” he said, staring down into her face. They’d avoided this long enough. “What’s the matter?”

  Her expression shuttered and she broke eye contact. “I don’t want to do this right now. Not right before you’re about to head off and we won’t see each other for a couple days.”

  Normally he would leave it, but it was driving him nuts that she was holding back. It also surprised him, since Candace had never been one to mince words when she had something on her mind. “No. Tell me what the problem is.”

  Her dark eyes flashed up to meet his, and a spark of resentment burned there. “Pretty sure you already know what the problem is.”

  Nope. “If this is because I snapped at you on the phone that time, I already apologized.”

  Her lips thinned, outrage flashing in her eyes. “You seriously think that’s what’s been bothering me all this time? That you snapped at me?”

  Releasing her, he took a step back and folded his arms. “Okay, fine. Then tell me what is bothering you, so we can deal with it.” They would resolve whatever it was, move past it, and make the most of their time here together.

  “I’m not doing this right now; we don’t have time,” she muttered, and turned back for the door.

  Her response pushed his frustration even higher. “When are we going to talk about it then? Tomorrow night after the big dinner with Erin’s and Wade’s families? Between the wedding and the reception? Or were you planning to wait until we were on the way to the airport on Sunday morning to talk about this?” Because as far as he could see, basically there was no good time for this discussion, and they couldn’t leave things the way they were.

  Her spine stiffened. She spun around to face him, her jaw set. “I don’t need or appreciate the attitude. I’ve been biting my tongue since you got here, trying to keep things peaceful.”

  “Is that what you call it? Avoiding me whenever you can is keeping things peaceful?” He raised an eyebrow. “For who? You, or everyone else?”

  Anger sparked in her eyes. “For everyone. And you know exactly what’s wrong, so don’t stand there and pretend you don’t.”

  They were both strong-willed people, and neither of them backed down when they felt strongly about something. Thankfully, they didn’t fight all that often. “Okay, then let’s hear it.”

  “Fine. I want out.”

  He went still. “Out of what?”

  “The Air Force.”

  What? “I thought we already decided that would be a mistake.”

  “No, you decided it would be a mistake, and at the time, I was only talking about the possibility of leaving.” Her dark eyes speared his, and he was actually glad to see the anger there because it meant they were going to have this out here and now.

  Her leaving made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever. “You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. Now you’re saying you want out? To do what?”

  Some of the anger faded from her gaze, replaced by a vulnerability she rarely let anyone see, even him. “I don’t know, Ryan. That’s the problem, and why I tried to talk to you about it before.”

  “So then why not stay in until you do? Why the huge rush to get out, lose a steady paycheck and benefits?”

  “Money’s not everything, Ryan.”

  “Easy for you to say.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he felt like a total dick and wanted to take them back.

  To her credit, rather than exploding at him, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly before speaking. “Look, I know things were really tight for you when you were growing up, and I realize I had a privileged childhood. But we’re both good with our money and we’ve saved a lot since we’ve been in. Financially we’re fine, even if I take a few months to find another job.”

  “And while you’re doing that, we’re going to eat up a good chunk of what we’ve saved.” She didn’t understand what it was like to not have money.

  She hadn’t grown up living off canned goods and boxes of mac and cheese every day for months while his dad stretched the finances as far as they could go so he could still cover his monthly alimony payments and the mortgage.

  She’d spent her summers at a beach house in Cape Cod, while the highlight of his summers was the single trip to the ice cream shop he’d made with his dad on Labor Day each year.

  He’d be damned if he allowed them to struggle like that, even for a day.

  “We need to be smart about this, save for the future, because you said you want to stay home for the first few years if we have kids.” Yeah, her family was filthy rich and would probably help them out if things got tight, but he’d rather die than take a handout from them. Something she knew perfectly well and thus far had respected.

  “I do, but you’re not hearing me. I want out, and I’ve made the decision to leave as soon as my contract’s done. I’ve already sent in the paperwork.”

  He put his hands on his hips. “So I get no say in this at all?” Not that he was a marriage expert by any means, but weren’t decisions like that supposed to be made together?

  “Sure you get a say, but that doesn’t mean you get to decide what I do with the rest of my life.” He opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. “I also want to have kids before I hit thirty-five, which isn’t too far away. And I have to admit, the idea of being a single mom while you serve continual combat deployments overseas doesn’t sound so awesome either.”

  He blinked. “What does that mean? You want me to get out too?”

  “No,” she said, frustration clear in her voice.

  Her whole argument made no sense to him at all. It wasn’t logical. “Then what? Why do you want out so bad?”

  “Because I can’t do this anymore, okay? I can’t.” Guilt punched through him at the tremor in her voice. She was one of the strongest people he’d ever known, so seeing her this upset took him off guard.

  “Do what?” he asked, not understanding why she seemed so emotional about this, but she spun away and ripped the door open before he could stop her.

  He rushed out into the hallway after her. Thankfully it was empty. “Candace.”

  She shook her head and kept going, marching for the elevator, back ramrod straight, head held high. He pushed out a frustrated breath.

  Goddamn it. This was bullshit and there was no way he was letting this go until he understood what was going on.

  What the hell had she meant? What couldn’t she do anymore?

  She loved flying the Spectre. She was proud of her job and rightly so, and wanting to leave the Air Force without a clear plan in mind was totally unlike her. He tamped down his irritation and followed her, giving them both a few moments to rein in
their tempers.

  She studiously ignored him as the elevator doors shut in front of them. He glanced at her profile, caught the flush in her cheeks and the sheen of moisture in her eyes.

  Seeing her on the verge of tears twisted something in his chest. That’s why she’d just rushed out of the room, so he wouldn’t see her on the verge of breaking down.

  Hating her silence and to see her hurting, he lifted a hand and brushed a soft wave of hair off her shoulder. “Hey. Why are you so upset about all this?”

  Turning her head, she nailed him with an angry glare. “Because you’re being an insensitive, unsupportive jackass.”

  He snatched his hand back. Wow, okay then. “I’m trying to help us stay stable financially, and planning for down the road. I’m being responsible.” Because if she stayed home once they had kids, they were going to burn through their savings pretty fast.

  “Yeah, well, if this has been your idea of being helpful and responsible, you can not bother from now on.” She folded her arms across her breasts and moved a step away from him. Shutting him out.

  It pissed him off, and dammit, it hurt too.

  A second later they reached the ground floor and she stormed out of the elevator before the doors had fully opened. Ryan trailed after her, angry and baffled at the same time.

  They didn’t speak as they walked through the front doors. Out in the bright morning sunshine she turned right and headed across the lawn, taking a deep breath as she shook her hair back over her shoulders.

  God, they were going to be at the stables in a matter of minutes and, while he didn’t give a shit what other people thought, he didn’t want their friends to know they were arguing. Normally she was the one who wanted to hash things out until they were resolved, but now he was the one who couldn’t stand to let this go on any longer. Talk about role reversal.

  Enough.

  He caught up to her in a few strides, wrapped a hand around her elbow, and pulled her around the corner of the building, into a shaded area where they could have at least a little privacy.

  Rather than pull away, she faced him with an almost mutinous expression. Thankfully there were no more tears in her eyes. “What?”