So what the hell had possessed him to drive to Connor’s last night after he’d left his office? He’d had a good fifteen-minute drive in which he could have turned the car around and gone home or even to the nearest bar. And if that hadn’t been enough, Connor not being home had been like a last beacon of warning that what he was doing was a monumental mistake but had he gotten in his car and left? No, he’d sat on the fucking steps for nearly half an hour and waited…and hoped. Hoped Connor wouldn’t turn away from him even though he was playing outside the bounds of their relationship. Hoped Connor would take away some of the pain and guilt that ate away at his insides. Hoped he’d stop seeing that little kid’s face as he walked hand in hand with his mother out of the office, the model car Zane had given to him clutched against his narrow chest.
And sure enough, Connor had managed to accomplish all three things.
Zane scrubbed his hand over his face to try and wipe away some of the exhaustion he was still feeling and then searched out his clothes which were draped across an old wooden chair near the closet. As he dragged his pants on, he heard music filter into the bedroom and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to sneak out like he’d hoped. Dread went through him as he pulled on his shirt. He snatched his shoes and socks off the floor and grabbed his jacket and made sure his cell phone was in the inside pocket where he’d left it.
The music grew louder as he walked down the narrow hallway and he tried to mentally rehearse his explanation for why he needed to leave. Work was his best excuse and though he knew he’d end up coming off like an ungrateful bastard, it was better than Connor bearing witness to any more of his emotional neediness. He needed to get what they had back on even ground so that he could figure out how to finally work the other man out of his system once and for all. But his argument died an instant death at the sight that greeted him when he reached the doorway that led from the hall into the kitchen.
It wasn’t the sight of Connor’s slightly damp hair or bare chest that had Zane leaning heavily against the doorframe. And it wasn’t that Connor wasn’t wearing his prosthesis. No, it was the sight of his perfectly rounded ass encased in a pair of sweatpants bobbing up and down in rhythm to the music coming from his cell phone. Zane recognized the song as being from a well-known, female singer who was wildly popular with tween girls. He’d heard it on the radio himself on more than one occasion and thought it was a catchy tune but from the way Connor’s whole body got into the beat, it was clearly a favorite. That thought was confirmed when Connor turned so his side was facing Zane and Zane could see Connor enthusiastically mouthing the words. The song was nearly over by the time Connor realized he was there.
“Shit!” Connor said as he lunged for the phone and fumbled with it for several long seconds before he could silence it. His cheeks were bright red when he turned around again. “Hey,” he said, trying to look casual and relaxed. When he realized there was no way he could pull it off, he shook his head and smiled. “How did you sleep?”
“Good,” Zane murmured.
“I made coffee,” Connor said as he pointed at the coffee maker. There was an empty mug sitting in front of it along with a container of sugar. “I would have brought you some but I don’t know how you take it,” he added.
“Connor-” Zane began.
“Zane,” Connor interjected before he could continue. “It’s just a cup of coffee.”
Zane held Connor’s gaze for a long time and then nodded. For whatever reason, Connor had known what he was about to say and was letting him off the hook. It was more than he deserved considering he was such a fucking coward. He dropped his shoes and socks and draped his jacket over the counter as he reached for the mug and began filling it.
“Have you been up long?” he asked as he turned and leaned back against the counter to watch Connor busily stirring something in a bowl.
“Couple of hours,” Connor said. “I went to see Jagger.”
“Should I be expecting a visit from him anytime soon?” Zane asked.
Connor chuckled. “I think you’re safe. Besides, I think I left him with such a disturbing image of us together that he probably won’t want to see either of us for a little while.”
That was intriguing.
“What kind of image?” Zane drawled though he knew it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to ask since his dick was already aching from the sight of Connor’s ass gyrating to the music.
“You, in bed. Asleep. Me, also in bed. Awake, impatient,” Connor said huskily. “Are you hungry?”
Hell yeah he was hungry but not for food. He tried to say yes but it sounded strangled even to his own ears and from Connor’s knowing smile, he knew exactly what effect his question would have. Connor used his hand on the counter to steady himself as he hobbled over to the stove, but before he could turn the burner on, Zane asked, “Which cabinet was it?”
Connor’s eyes snapped up in confusion and then his lips parted as he realized what Zane was asking. Another rush of color flooded his cheeks and it took him a moment before he glanced over his shoulder at the counter he’d just been standing at. “That one,” he answered.
“Show me,” Zane said softly as he looked at the faded 70’s era wood cabinet.
Connor sucked in a breath and then glanced hesitantly down at his leg. It took him only a few seconds to make a decision and then he was hobbling to the opposite counter. He braced himself against it with his left arm and then smoothed his right hand over his thigh before he began rubbing himself through his sweats.
Zane didn’t trust himself not to spill the coffee he still had in his hand so he carefully put it down on the counter and then reached behind him to curl his hand over the edge so he wouldn’t reach for his own dick which was already throbbing in need. Since the moment Connor had told him about jerking himself off in his kitchen after their first meeting in his bar when Zane had returned the money, Zane had imagined the scene over and over again but the reality was a thousand times better.
“Pants,” Zane said softly. Connor paused and Zane knew the internal battle he fought. Zane had only seen Connor’s stump on the night he’d helped him into bed. It was a lot to ask of Connor, especially considering Zane was too much of a coward to give up more of himself to the man who continued to grace him with his trust over and over again. He was about to tell Connor he didn’t need to take off the pants when Connor used his right hand to shove the sweats down. It took some maneuvering but then the pants slipped to the floor and Zane drank in the sight of the tight ass that greeted him.
Connor’s hand closed around his cock and began dragging up and down it with long, tortuous pulls. His eyes drifted shut and his lips parted as he increased the pace. It had been Zane’s intent to just enjoy the show but the sight of Connor’s ass flexing as he began thrusting into his hand had Zane reaching for the buttons on his shirt. He managed to get the shirt off but fumbled with his pants when Connor turned his head to watch him getting undressed. His drags on his cock slowed only marginally.
Zane finally got the pants loose but barely remembered to grab the condom and packet of lube before kicking the pants free. It took just two strides to reach Connor, snag his arm around Connor’s waist and drag his hips back so Connor’s ass was cradling his shaft. He reached between their mashed bodies and worked his cock between Connor’s cheeks and matched his up and down rhythm to the pace Connor had set. But his need was too great and he separated from Connor long enough to get the condom on and rub some lube over his dick and Connor’s hole. He placed the tip of his cock against Connor’s opening before wrapping his arm around Connor once more and then began to push forward. He was relentless as Connor’s body adjusted to the intrusion and when he was finally buried to the hilt, he used his free hand to fist Connor’s hair and angle his head up for a kiss.
He ended the hard kiss as he began working his length in and out of Connor but kept his mouth near his ear and whispered, “Is this how you imagined it that night?”
Connor’s
head was turned to the side enough so that Zane could see that his eyes were closed and he was trying desperately to get enough oxygen into his system as the need inside of him grew.
“Yes,” Connor managed to say. Zane could feel Connor’s hand against his forearm where he was still holding Connor to give him the extra balance he needed. Connor’s tugs on his own dick were quick and rough and Zane increased his long, deep plunges.
“Slower at first. Then faster, harder, right?” Zane murmured as he remembered Connor’s description.
Connor nodded.
“Put your arms around my neck,” Zane whispered. “I want to feel every part of you wrapped around me when you come.”
Connor’s eyes flipped open. The hand that Connor had been using to stroke himself came up without hesitation but the one braced on the counter didn’t move.
“I’ve got you, baby,” Zane said softly. His heart swelled with some unnamable force when Connor released the counter and reached up and slipped that arm around his neck. The position forced Connor farther down onto his dick and Zane locked his arm in place to take Connor’s weight. He closed his free hand around Connor’s cock and began a brutal combination of tugs and twists that had Connor grunting and grinding against him. Zane’s own cock swelled inside of Connor and he sought out Connor’s lips as he began humping into him uncontrollably. His release hit him hard and without warning but luckily Connor went with him and Zane released his lips long enough so he could listen to Connor say his name over and over as his body began to jerk and spasm. Zane’s explosive orgasm seemed to go on and on and he was helpless to do anything but clutch Connor against him as their bodies shook with wave after wave of agonizing pleasure. He had no idea how much time had passed when he came to his senses and he hadn’t even realized he’d squeezed his eyes shut at first. When he finally did manage to pry them open, another jerk of pleasure went through him at the sight of Connor’s come blazing a path of white down the ugly brown wood cabinet.
***
“Do you want to do something today?”
Zane stiffened at Connor’s question and looked up from the chocolate chip banana pancakes he’d been shoveling into his mouth. He’d never been one to eat such a heavy meal for breakfast but after fucking Connor in the kitchen, he’d been ravenous. And what was supposed to have been a quick shower to get cleaned up had turned into another insanely hot encounter that had involved him sitting on the bench in Connor’s shower with Connor straddling his lap. He hadn’t actually fucked Connor again since he hadn’t had a condom handy, but they’d ended up jerking each other off as they’d traded every kind of kiss imaginable. Only then had he allowed Connor to finish making the breakfast he’d interrupted and they’d sat on the couch to eat it while watching a random, eighties-era action movie that Connor had found while scanning through the few channels he had.
Zane’s answer should have been an easy one. No. Absolutely no. But instead he heard himself asking, “What did you have in mind?”
“Ever since I moved here I’ve wanted to do the underground tour. Have you heard of it?” Connor asked excitedly.
Zane nodded. “That’s where you can walk through all the tunnels running beneath downtown,” he said.
“Right.”
“Why didn’t you ever do it?”
Connor fell silent for a moment. “I was always too worried I’d have an episode while I was down there. I asked Jason to go with me when we first started going out but that was before…”
Before the guy turned out to be a world class asshole.
“Okay,” Zane said before his logical side could speak for him.
Connor gave him a bright smile and then leaned in to brush a brief kiss over his lips before he stood and took his plate to the kitchen. Zane finished his food and followed. He helped Connor do the dishes and as he watched Connor put them back in their proper spots, his eyes fell on the now infamous kitchen cabinet. He felt Connor’s eyes on him and glanced at the man who was watching him with some unnamed emotion. But before he could question him, Connor was stepping past him but as he did, he brushed a hand over Zane’s abdomen. It was something Connor did often…touching him. A pat here, a caress there. Tiny displays of affection. Every single one should have had him crying foul but Zane was coming to crave them. It was the same with Connor’s smile. His laugh. They’d become like crack for him…an insane addiction that ate at him from the inside out and left him wanting both more and less at the same time.
“You ready?” Connor asked.
No, he wasn’t ready. He’d never be ready for whatever was happening to him.
“Yeah,” Zane said as he snagged his jacket.
He followed Connor from the apartment and waited on the porch as Connor locked the door. He was about to head down the stairs when the door across the porch opened and an old lady peeked out.
“So, you must be Mr. Extra-Large,” the woman said with a grin as she opened the door wider.
“Mrs. Finney,” Connor groaned from behind him.
Zane bit back a smile as he glanced over his shoulder at Connor who was shaking his head slowly back and forth.
“I guess I am,” Zane said as he crossed the porch and reached out his hand. “Zane,” he said as he shook her gnarled hand.
“Eleanor Finney,” she responded as she looked him up and down. She looked past him at Connor and slyly said, “I’m going to the market this afternoon if you boys need anything.”
“Jesus,” Connor whispered before he said, “We’re good, Mrs. Finney.”
She gave Connor a knowing smile and then returned her attention to Zane. “Do you know anything about toilets? Mine is running something fierce.”
***
Connor couldn’t help but admire the view as Zane leaned over the toilet tank and fiddled with something. His slacks were drawn tight over his ass and his powerful arms were on full display since he’d rolled his sleeves up.
“You going to give me a hand here?” Zane asked.
A hand wasn’t what he wanted to give Zane. When he finally managed to tear his eyes from Zane’s ass, Connor realized Zane was watching him over his shoulder and for a terrible moment Connor wondered if he’d said the words out loud.
“Uh, no, I’m good,” Connor mumbled. “Toilets aren’t really my thing. Besides, you look like you know what you’re doing,” he added.
A few minutes later the sound of the toilet running ceased and Zane straightened. “She’s going to need a new ballcock,” Zane said as he began washing his hands.
“What?”
“A ballcock,” Zane repeated as he turned around. “The thing that looks like a floating ball.”
Connor laughed. “Oh God, I am so going to enjoy this,” he said before he called out to Mrs. Finney. Five minutes later he was still laughing as Zane shot him yet another dirty look as he tried to explain to Mrs. Finney why the part was called what it was.
“We’ll pick up a new one for you on our way back this afternoon, how does that sound?” Zane finally said.
“Oh my dear, you are the sweetest boy,” she said reached up to give Zane a hug. “Just like my Connor.”
Zane seemed thrown by the display of affection and it took him a moment to react. When he did, he had to bend down and lean over so the very tiny Mrs. Finney could get her arms around him. “And when you get back I’ll be sure to have some fudge ready,” she added as she released him. Connor received a gentle pat on the arm as she hurried past him. Zane still seemed rattled as he put the cover back on the tank.
“We should probably get going,” he murmured as he began rolling the sleeves back down his arms.
“You okay?” Connor asked. His heart actually hurt for Zane as he began to realize that Zane’s emotional scars ran much deeper than he ever would have guessed for the other man to be so thrown off by a simple thing like a hug from a grateful old woman.
“Yeah,” Zane said as he tried to step past Connor.
“Zane-”
“I’m o
kay, Connor,” Zane said. “Promise,” he added. Connor nodded and moved out his way.
It took another twenty minutes for them to get on their way and Zane’s silence was making Connor nervous. They’d had an amazing morning and he’d been thrilled when Zane had agreed to spend the day with him but now the whole thing felt awkward and uncomfortable. By the time Zane had pulled into the parking garage near the building from where the underground tour would depart, Connor was overcome with guilt and he grabbed Zane’s hand before he could exit the car.
“Zane, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed this. I should have let you go this morning when I knew that was what you wanted.” Connor forced himself to release Zane’s hand. “You should…you should just take me back home. We can go back to the way things were.”
Connor hadn’t managed to keep eye contact with Zane during the last part of his speech but he could see Zane out of the corner of his eye. His entire body was stiff with tension and his fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white. He didn’t speak as he started the car up and pulled out of the space. Regret went through Connor but he managed to mask it as he stared out the window and focused on the scenery. But he wasn’t actually seeing anything that he was looking at so he didn’t realize the car had come to a stop less than five minutes later until someone was opening the door for him. It took him a moment to realize it was a Valet.
Freeing Zane (Barretti Security Series, Book 4) Page 10
