Put It Out There

by D. R. Graham

  It was a trigger for him because of his mom, but it was true, so I laid it out. “You left me for five months.”

  “You left for a year,” he snapped and spun around to keep walking.

  “That was different.” I ran to keep up because he started moving at the speed he would use if he were on a rescue. “Trevor, I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying it was hard.”

  “It was hard for me too,” he said without looking at me.

  Okay. What did that mean, exactly? I grabbed his elbow to make him turn around. “You know who the guy I love is, right?”

  He stared at me in a way that reminded me of when we were little. For a fraction of a second, he looked like the little boy I had spent pretty much every waking minute with. He inhaled and his expression shifted back to his serious adult face. “Do you trust him?”

  “With my life.” I leaned back against a tree trunk.

  He stepped forward until our cheeks were touching and whispered, “Then trust him. If it’s meant to be, you can get together with him when the timing is right.”

  He turned and disappeared down the path that led to the Britannia pools. My legs got weak, partly from the promise of what he said and partly from the disappointment of having to wait. I had to sit on the ground to recover. If his idea was to make me wait just so I would want him even more, it was working.

  Eventually, I got up and made my way to the hot springs. It consisted of a series of seven natural pools of hot spring water that tiered down the mountain like stepping stones. It was a nice day, so all the pools were packed with people. Trevor was already talking to a group of his Search and Rescue buddies, so I sat down on a boulder and texted Sophie: 911. Where are you?

  Just parked at the pools. Come over.

  Already here. Need to consult re: Trevor. ASAP.

  Two minutes later, she and Doug found me. He went to join Trevor and Murphy. Sophie and I climbed up to our favourite boulder above the top pool. We always tanned on it because it stayed sunny all day, and it was the best spot to see and be seen from.

  “Don’t,” I warned her when I noticed a group of younger girls already set up on our spot. “We can sit on the other side.”

  Sophie turned and raised her eyebrow at me, determined. As we got closer, the girls saw Sophie and quickly gathered up their towels and bags before scrambling to the boulder on the other side.

  “Thanks,” I sang cheerfully to the girls who vacated the spot. “You’re a menace,” I mumbled to Sophie.

  “What? I throw a girl off a cliff into the pool one time two years ago, and now everyone respects me. That is not my fault.”

  “They don’t respect you. They’re scared of you.”

  “Same difference. I’ve been extremely well behaved lately.”

  “You jumped off the stage and threatened Lisa Alvarez last night,” I reminded her as I rolled the towels out for us to sit on.

  “Oh yeah, right. She deserved it. What’s the deal with Trevor?”

  I stripped down to my bathing suit and borrowed some of her sunscreen. “He doesn’t want to date until the timing is right, whatever that means. He also suggested I have a rebound relationship to get over Steve. I think. It’s hard to know for sure. We were speaking in hypotheticals.”

  “Why weren’t you speaking in real-life-theticals?”

  “Good question. I guess if I’m too chicken to talk openly about a relationship with him, I’m obviously still too immature to have one with him.” I sighed at the realization that he was right to want to wait.

  “Hi Derian.” I heard a cartoony voice behind me.

  I turned my head and smiled. “Hey Niko.”

  He climbed up onto the boulder and sat on a log. He wasn’t wearing his glasses and his hair, wet from swimming, was slicked back off his face. “Mason says you might want to be my tutor while he’s gone.”

  “Sure. I would love to. What do you mean by gone?”

  “He’s going away to work for his dad in a bunch of different countries around the world.”

  Sophie abruptly stood up behind us and yelled, “Hey Alvarez! Does your mom know how much of a slut you are? I’d be happy to tell her when she comes into the salon to get her roots done.”

  Nikolai and I both leaned forward over the edge of the boulder.

  “The next time you drop your panties to whore yourself, make sure it’s with a guy who doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

  Lisa shouted back, “Maybe if the girlfriend knew how to satisfy her man he wouldn’t have come crawling to me begging for it.”

  “We all know he didn’t have to beg for it since you give it away for free.” Sophie picked up a handful of rocks and chucked them at Lisa. “Leave.” Lisa jumped around to avoid getting hit. Everyone laughed at her. “I just had a manicure done,” Sophie shouted. “Don’t make me come down there.”

  Lisa grabbed her bag and climbed awkwardly down the boulders, then disappeared into the forest. Two of her friends shot Sophie a glaring look before they followed behind Lisa.

  “She scares me,” Nikolai whispered to me as he stared at Sophie.

  “Was that really necessary?” I asked her as she sat back down.

  “No, just entertaining.” She leaned back on her elbows.

  Nikolai scooted past Sophie as if he thought she was going to lash out at him. “I’m going tell Mason you agreed to be my tutor.”

  “He’s here?” I asked.

  “Yeah, right there.” Nikolai pointed to the boulder right below ours. “I’ll see you later.” He jumped into the pool and swam over to talk to Mason, then he pointed up at me. Mason smiled and climbed up to join me. He moved awkwardly because his knee brace wasn’t cooperating. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and a small tattoo was visible on the upper part of his left chest. It had the letters CC and a series of numbers with dashes in between. At first, I thought it looked like a military tattoo, but then I realized it was initials and a date. The year was the same year my dad died.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” he asked.

  “Good. Thanks. How are you?”

  “The bum knee is a pain, but I’m fine. Thanks.”

  I nodded, still wondering the significance of his tattoo. “Nikolai mentioned you’re leaving.”

  “Yeah. My dad lined up an internship for me in his international division until next summer. Do you mind being Niko’s tutor while I’m gone?”

  “I’d be happy to. When do you leave?”

  “The day after tomorrow.”

  “Oh, so soon. Cool. Well, it was nice meeting you. Too bad we didn’t get to know each other better over the school year.”

  He leaned back to sit on a rock and grinned. “Yeah. I wish Steve would have screwed up a long time ago.”

  What? “Really?”

  “Definitely. Is it all right if I make you a deal?”

  I nodded, curious what it was.

  “When I come back, if you’re single, I’d like to ask you out on a date. If you’re interested.”

  Uh, yeah, I was definitely interested if things didn’t develop with Trevor. But I might be living in Vancouver by the time he got back. Or not. A lot could change. There were no guarantees where I would be or what I’d be doing. If we were both single and living in close proximity, there was no reason not to say yes. The chances of it happening were slim, and it wasn’t as if he was asking me to sign a legally binding contract. “Okay, it’s a deal.”

  He stretched his arm out and shook my hand. “All right, I’ll see you in a year.” He turned and hobbled back towards the edge of the boulder.

  “Hey, are you going to at least come home for a visit at Christmas?” I asked.

  He turned and smiled. “No, but maybe Santa will send you another gift.”

  My eyes opened wide and my mouth dropped open. He winked before he stepped down and disappeared. I spun around to Sophie. “Oh my God. Did you hear that?” I asked her.

  “Yeah, you have to wait for both Trevor and Mason. Good job.”

&nb
sp; “Not that. I think he’s the Santa who sent me The Ramones record last Christmas.”

  “So, he’s a crazy stalker?”

  I frowned, but before I had a chance to respond, a guy I’d never seen before sat on the log in front of Sophie. He wore board shorts and had tattoos on his shoulders. His dark hair was shaved at the sides in a Mohawk, and he had plug piercings in both ears. He smiled at Sophie, waiting for her to look up at him. “Are all the girls in this bloody awful town as beautiful as you?”

  “Watch your mouth. That’s my hometown you’re calling bloody awful,” Sophie quipped.

  “Sorry.” He grinned. “If all the talent around here is like you I’ll upgrade my assessment. What’s your name, love?”

  “Sophie. And you?”

  “Jax.”

  “Are you visiting?”

  “Nope. I just moved here from London. I heard there’s a band that’s somewhat tolerable playing Saturday night at some old railroad station. Wanna go with me, Sophie?”

  She glanced at me and grinned. “I’m actually in the band that’s somewhat tolerable, so I’m going to already be there. This would probably be a good time for me to mention that my boyfriend is also in the band.”

  Jax clutched his chest dramatically as if he’d just been shot in the heart. “No. Don’t say you have a boyfriend.”

  “Sorry.” She jutted her thumb in my direction. “Derian is recently single if you’re looking for a date.”

  I glared at her. He winked at me and smiled. “I assume that girl you were stoning earlier was involved in the reason Derian is recently single,” he said to Sophie.

  She shrugged. “She deserved it. She shouldn’t have messed with Derian.”

  He nodded and pressed his lips together as if he were impressed. “What do ya say?” he asked me.

  “What?”

  “Do ya wanna go out?”

  I looked over at Sophie. She smiled in why the hell not way. He was cute. More Sophie’s type than mine, but he seemed pretty cool. I had a feeling if I had a rebound fling with him, Trevor was going to hate that he was tatted up and pierced. Even though there was a part of me that wanted to make Trevor regret his suggestion to have a rebound, I needed to act like an adult, not an adolescent. “No thank you. I’m in love with someone, so it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  He laughed. “All right. If you change your mind, I’ll be around.”

  Sophie grinned and pointed over my shoulder. Doug, Murphy, and Trevor were all climbing up towards the boulder we were sitting on.

  Jax laughed. It sounded more nervous than he probably wanted it to. “Cheers.” He waved and did a back flip off the opposite side of the boulder. Sophie and I both lunged forward and peered over the edge to make sure he landed safely in the pool below. He popped up through the surface of the water with a mischievous grin.

  “Who was that?” Trevor asked.

  “Derian’s future rebound.” Sophie laughed. “He’s bad-assed and will definitely be trouble.”

  Murphy and Doug’s expressions seemed intrigued. Trevor frowned at me. “Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure.” I grabbed my clothes, scrambled to my feet, and followed him into the forest. I thought for sure he was going to tell me he changed his mind. I waited for him to say he wanted me to be his girlfriend, but he didn’t. He looked mad, furious actually.

  “Did you contact my mom?”

  My stomach clenched, and my heart felt like it stopped beating. “Uh, not exactly.”

  “What exactly did you do?”

  “I found out her phone number and gave it to Kailyn.”

  He stepped back, his jaw tensed, the veins in his temples bulging.

  I stepped into my shorts and pulled them up over my hips. “She was really sad while you were gone. She begged me to get it for her.”

  “God damn it, Derian. I specifically told you not to do that.”

  “She’s an adult. She has a right to talk to her mom if she wants to.”

  “You think so? My dad just called. Kailyn finally told him the reason she’s been crying is because Lorraine told her she didn’t want her to call ever again.”

  “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” My stomach twisted with guilt. “I didn’t know your mom was going to be unreceptive.”

  “Yeah, well, Lorraine is a self-absorbed bitch, Deri. What did you think would happen? She didn’t want a daughter with special needs, or a simple, blue-collared husband, or a son who reminded her of her responsibilities, or a small-town life she felt trapped in. She wanted to be free to live all over the world, entertain herself with a rotating door of rich and sophisticated men, and never be accountable to anyone.” He paced as the years of buried anger surfaced. “It would take hours to tell you all the selfish things she’s done. Bottom line: she didn’t love us. And Kailyn deserves better than that.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up his hand to stop me.

  “I told you there were things you don’t know. You should have trusted me.”

  I was stunned, partly by the truth and partly by the fact he hadn’t confided in me before. “You’ve never, I didn’t, I’m sorr —”

  “Don’t bother. I don’t want to hear it.” He turned and stormed away.

  Completely crushed by the regret of exposing Kailyn to something that caused her pain, I said goodbye to everyone and hiked back alone. I should have respected Trevor’s wishes, but in fairness, it would have been easier if he had trusted me enough to be open and tell me about his mom and the things she had done. I wasn’t perfect but neither was he.

  Regardless, there was no denying that the universe had spoken, and what it said—loud and clear—was I was destined to be single. The signs all pointed to me needing to focus on my personal development for a while. Alone. Independent.

  Who was I to argue with the universe? Presumably, everything would work out the way it was supposed to. Whether I would like the end result or not was to be determined.

  When I arrived back at the Inn, Granddad was sitting in the library, reading. I sat on the arm of his chair and sighed. “Is it all right if we talk for a few minutes?”

  “Of course.” He closed his book and rested it on his lap, ready to listen.

  “I met the man who wants to buy the Inn. He and his family sound like a great match. If that’s what you want to do, I’d be happy with that.”

  “Well, thank you for saying so, but I realized I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I wasn’t running this place. I told him I wasn’t quite ready to retire yet. Since he’s not in any hurry, he’s going to check back next spring. If you don’t mind helping me out every morning, we can definitely stay until you finish high school.” He patted my hand. “What do you think of that idea?”

  So relieved. I hugged him. “I love that idea.”

  As I thought about the year that lay ahead for all of us, I moved to sit in my dad’s old favourite chair. I ran my finger over the rough leather. Then, just to be sure the universe and Trevor both knew my intentions, I pulled out my phone and put it out there: To be clear, you are the person I trust. With my life. Always.

  The End Of Book One.

  Coming Soon from D.R. Graham

  What Are The Chances?, Britannia Beach Book Two

  Acknowledgements

  None of my books would be possible without the support of my husband Sean and the rest of my family. Thank you to my critique partner Denise Jaden, my muse for this series John Hughes, Greg Ng (and the moms from his class who volunteered to read a very early rough draft of this story), Rasadi Cortes, Erica Ediger, Jen Wilson, Belinda Wagner, Lisa Marks, Cory Cavazzi, my mom and dad, my brother Rob, my sister Luan, my editors Charlotte Ledger and Laura McCallen, and the entire team behind the scenes at HarperImpulse and HarperCollins Publishers. I’d also like to send a special thank-you to the real Search and Rescue volunteers and first responders in the Squamish area, and the young adult bloggers and youth librarians who tirelessly introduce books to young readers.

/>   About the Author

  D.R. Graham lives in Vancouver, Canada with her husband. She worked as a social worker with at-risk youth prior to becoming a therapist in private practice. Her novels deal with issues relevant to young adults in love, transition, or crisis.

  Other books by D.R. Graham:

  What Are the Chances? (Britannia Beach Series)

  And Then What? (Britannia Beach Series)

  Rank

  One Percenter (Noir et Bleu MC Series)

  The Handler (Noir et Bleu MC Series)

  It Is What It Is (Noir et Bleu MC Series)

  The Noir et Bleu (Noir et Bleu MC Series)

  Hit That And You’re Dead

  www.drgrahambooks.com

  Also by D.R. Graham

  About the Publisher

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  About HarperImpulse

  HarperImpulse is an exciting new range of romance fiction brought to you from the women’s fiction team at HarperCollins. Our aim is to break new talent from debut authors and import the hottest trends from the US, bringing you the very best in romance. Whether that is through short reads for your mobile phone or epic sagas that span the generations we want to proudly publish romance fiction that gets everybody talking.