All About You (Love & Hate series #1)
Page 28
Present
Oliver trails kisses over my chin. His palm is pressed over the swell of my breast. I close my eyes, trying to lock this moment in my memory. Comparing it to that night before the party, when we were together. I move my hands over his back, tracing the cords of his muscles. When I open my eyes again, I notice his sharp intake of breath as his eyes drift shut.
He mutters with an expression of bliss on his face, but before I can show him how much more I want to pleasure him, he slits himself between my legs and smiles, meeting my eyes. Lust explodes in my core, making my head swim. I feel his hardness pressed over my thigh and, oh boy, that feels so good.
I gasp for air, knowing I can ask for more, aware that the pain will never, ever come back. I won’t have to worry about the demons anymore. Oliver is taking them away, erasing memories of Christian’s hands on my body. He is my therapy and my redemption. We stay like that for a long moment, not pulling apart.
“India, you can’t even imagine what you put me through,” he says, breathless. I want to respond and explain myself, but he doesn’t let me. He continues kissing me, harder and fiercer, like he can’t get enough of me.
Before he picks up the pace, he pauses and helps me get rid of my T-shirt. Soon, his clothes fly across the room and we are both connected, bare skin to skin, heart to heart. The heat surges over me and the place between my legs continues to pulse as his hand moves over my breasts. My body reacts when he shifts his touch quickly and devotes his attention to that sensitive spot between my legs. I gasp his name and my body rages with shooting desire. His tongue circles my hardened nipples. I cry out, pushing my hips forward, feeling him hard and ready pressed against my core. My heart pounds in my chest. I press him harder to myself like this closeness isn't enough for me, like I want him to stay like that forever. We’ve both waited so long to truly enjoy each other.
Oliver is gentle and he makes me wait for pleasure. Instead of hurrying up, he kisses me again, lifting me off the sofa. His breath feels short, cheeks warm and flushed.
“India, this is happening too fast. We have to take it easy,” he says, pulling my caramel hair away from my face. I bury myself in his chest, not understanding why he wants to go slow. We sacrificed each other because of the past and now I want to forget and just make love, how we meant to.
“I don’t want to take it easy,” I say, almost whispering.
He lifts my chin and smiles. “You were attacked yesterday and I came here to check on you. I’m not taking advantage of you just because you’re acting on an impulse.”
“Oliver, I’m fine. Those two guys were too slow and I got away. Now the police will take care of them.”
He pushes me back to the sofa and puts a blanket over me. “We don’t have to rush anything, India. I want this to be special,” he adds and puts on his clothes.
Okay, maybe we’re both overwhelmed with this sudden reunion. Oliver’s right. I shouldn’t start something that might be over in a couple of days. A few months ago, I wished he was dead, and now we were just about to have sex without discussing what we both expected.
“Did I hear right? You broke up with Rhian?” I ask, just to be sure he wasn’t joking when he came in. Rhian is a nice girl and I hate that he broke up with her because of me. Now I’m responsible for her grief.
“Yeah, I broke up with her a couple hours ago. I shouldn’t have gotten together with her in the first place.”
I bite my lip and put back my T-shirt and trousers, realising Oliver is right. We aren’t a couple; we aren’t even friends. Only a few days ago, we were trying to rekindle our friendship. If we mix sex into this, then maybe there is nothing real about us. Maybe it’s just a short outbreak of passion carried over from the past.
“Okay, so you aren’t with her anymore. What did you expect from me when you came here?” I ask. Maybe I shouldn’t even trust him. Oliver was clear when he said he’d forgiven me, but he hasn’t forgotten how I treated him in high school.
“I wanted to see you if you were all right,” he says “Besides, what was going on between you and that prick Russell? People on campus say you guys are dating now.”
“There’s nothing going on. We’re just friends. I made it clear to him I won’t date anyone in Braxton. Don’t believe the rumours.”
Oliver starts pinching his eyebrows together. He doesn’t need to worry. I wasn’t planning to date Russell. My aim is to get Oliver to have a conversation with his mother again. He has to forget the old me from high school. Otherwise, there always will be that wall between us.
“What about me? Are you going to date me?” he asks, squeezing my hand. The coldness and hatred I saw in his eyes so many times has vanished; now it’s just warmth and affection. My skin aches for his touch, but he’s right. We don’t have to rush anything. We both need to figure out how we really feel about each other. I don’t think we’re both ready for this relationship.
“One day you want to ruin my life, and then the next minute we’re dating. People will have a lot to say about that.”
“I don’t fucking care what other people say. We can put our silly past behind us and start over,” he says, kissing my neck. I clench my fists, remembering I’m not being completely honest with him. I’ve been keeping that secret away for two years and now I have a chance to explain everything I had to go through with Christian. I could tell him why I turned my back on him and bullied him.
“We should discuss our past. I owe you—”
“India, please, we don’t have to discuss anything. The past is over. We both moved on and we promised to ourselves we would never talk about it.”
I swallow a giant lump in my throat and force a smile, tossing my hair behind me.
“Okay, that’s fine, but we will have to talk about it at some point,” I say.
“We’ll see,” he mutters and glances at his watch. “I gotta go, rugby practice. I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah, great.”
When he leaves, I take a few deep breaths, trying to regain my balance. It’s not a complete reunion. We still have a lot to talk about. Oliver deserves to understand why I was so rotten, why I changed into a miserable bitch in a matter of days. He hasn’t forgotten about Christian, and for him, it’s obvious. His brother’s death broke us apart, but now we might start to understand what we had before everything else fell apart.
I walk up to the wardrobe and take out those two letters I’d written him. There is one more. A letter I haven’t had the guts to complete. It would be so much easier if we could tell each other that we shouldn’t be apart any longer and that we are in love, but it’s never that easy. I’m still not ready to tell him what kind of brother he had, what happened to me.
Present
Next day, I step into the cafeteria, feeling tense. I hear the shimmer of whispers behind me and people continue to stare. Everyone already heard the news; rumours travel fast in Braxton.
Oliver came back last night and he made me a late supper and we talked. We decided that the relationship can wait; we have to start by being just friends. For now we will keep everything casual. We both hurt each other, and now it’s just a case of rebuilding our trust in one another. We both want to make this work and we both have to take it slow.
There have been rumours in the corridors that Oliver broke up with Rhian because of me. Since I’ve been here, I’ve heard many rumours, but someone finally got one right. No one dares throw any more cruel remarks towards me when I walk through the corridors. People don’t want to get in trouble with Oliver. He’s like a god on campus; no one dares cross him.
I take a deep breath when I don’t spot Dora anywhere. I want to talk to her about what is going on between Oliver and me, but not in front of others. I should have talked to her last night, but she stayed with Jacob and I didn’t want to interrupt them. But she doesn’t like to be the last to know when something is going on with me. Unfortunately, it’s not Dora that I have to worry about today. Out of nowhere, Russell jump
s into the seat next to me as soon as I place my tray on the table.
“Hey, beautiful, how are you this fine, stunning morning?” he asks, catching me completely off guard. He texted me a few times throughout the evening, hoping to come over, but I lied, saying I had to study. Russell is really into me, and I don’t want to crush his feelings.
“Good. What’s up?”
The fact is that I hate lying to Russell. He’s a genuinely nice guy with a big heart, and despite his cockiness, he is crazy about me. If I weren’t so absorbed with Oliver, we could be a cute couple.
“You tell me. What’s going on? Are you finally going to agree to go on a date with me? Girls are queuing to go out with me and the only one I want keeps rejecting me.”
I pretend I’m still chewing my food. It’s time to grow a pair and tell him that he and I… Well, it’s not going to happen. Oliver is the man I’ve been waiting for since I saw him years ago, and now we’re rebuilding what we lost. It probably will take us a while, but I can’t deceive Russell. He needs to know I’m not interested.
“Russell, I need to be honest with you. I’m trying to sort things out with Oliver. Me and him, we have history together. I don’t want to lead you on, pretend that something is going to happen between us.”
Russell frowns, giving me one of his disappointed looks, tensing his jaw.
“So what? Morgan dumps his girlfriend, runs to you, and you just take him back? God, India, how could you be so stupid? He’s playing with you. Don’t you remember what he did to you?”
“Russell, you have no idea what’s going on. We agreed to start with friendship and nothing else for now. I know you don’t approve, but it’s my decision.” I continue, ignoring all the stares and whispers. Everyone in the canteen is looking at us right now. “But I never gave you a reason to wait for me. And yes, I remember what he did, but trust me, I was much crueler than him in the past. We’re even now.”
He laughs and I stare back at my plate. It seems like the whole cafeteria has stopped eating and is tuned in to our whole conversation.
Russell’s eyes study me for a long while. “Yeah, Indi, you’re right. I have no idea what went on between you two in the past, but I thought you were more intelligent than this. Morgan isn’t over his little revenge. It’s his game to get in your pants.”
“I think you’ve said enough, Evans. Get the hell out of here before I smash your face against this table.”
My heart skips a beat, then races again with tripled force. Oliver stands behind Russell. The whole cafeteria freezes, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I shouldn’t have talked to Russell about this here. Now I have to do this in front of everyone. Oliver looks pissed off, pinning Russell with his blue eyes. I have to react fast. Otherwise, this won’t end well.
“I’m talking to my friend here.” Russell smirks, winking at me. Oliver looks like he’s on the verge of losing control. “If you got a problem with that, then we can take this outside.”
“Russell, I’ll talk to you later. Please, this isn’t the time or place for this. I know exactly what you’re doing,” I hiss and grab Oliver’s arm before this can escalate and these two do something they will regret later. I don’t even know why they hate each other so much.
We both leave the room, followed by a shimmer of whispers. I don’t stop until I drag him outside, pulling him into a dark corridor so no one else can hear us.
“Could you please not get involved while I’m trying to have a conversation? I could have handled him.”
Oliver takes long pulls of air and lands a punch to the wall. I fold my arms together, waiting for him to calm down. I’m surprised, seeing him so irate. He never had any trouble with his temper before.
“I don’t let people walk over me. I’ve been tolerating him too long. God, India, why do you even still talk to him?”
“He’s a friend, and I know you two don’t like each other, but he’s winding you up because he wants you to lose control. I can’t believe you interrupted us like that.”
Oliver paces around me, breathing in and out. Then he pushes me to the wall, taking my face into his palms.
“You know I would never lie to you. I’ve forgiven you, but this guy wants you.”
“He does, but it doesn’t matter. I only want you, so you can calm down now.”
“Fine, whatever, but I swear if he pushes me, I’ll destroy him,” he says, looking away.
“Just chill. If you’re serious about us, about making us work, then calm down. I have to go.”
We part and once I’m outside, I feel dizzy. Our small reunion was pleasant, but it’s hard to think about the future with all these hurdles in the way. There is still so much unresolved tension between Oliver and me, but this feels right for the first time in my life.
The rest of my day passes without surprises. Dora demands to see me. She probably heard the news from this morning. I text her back, stating we can talk at home later. I sneak to the library in the afternoon, trying to clear my head.
I take my pen and start writing my final letter to Oliver. The letter that will change his perception of forgiveness and the cruelty created within me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The Secret