My Insanity

by Martin Länger

  Gwyn stopped the aspect short. “Hey, Vylsanas, can you tell us why you aren't in your group anymore? Asthen briefly mentioned it, but I didn't want to follow up back then.”

  “Hm, usually I would not tell you this, but master Asthen told me to trust you,” the aspect answered, making Delirias smirk as he stood up to marvel at the heavenly view outside the window.

  “We believe there are many more humans roaming this world than initially thought. Likewise with our former group. It didn't take long until the humans stopped supporting each other as the goings got rough. Many were becoming a slave of their own insanity, starting fights over the smallest things. Some thought they were dying of hunger, even though that is not possible here. It only got worse, night after night. The longer they stayed together, the more everything plunged into chaos. For Asthen that meant that it was only a matter of time until it would fall apart altogether.”

  “Frightening.”

  “Almost makes me glad that I traveled alone,” commented the two friends before Vylsanas continued.

  “Indeed. Eventually what we feared came to pass and one of the last strong humans, and friends of Asthen, left the group. With all the possible leaders gone the impending doom had arrived.” Even the aspect seemingly suffered thinking about what happened.

  “The fights escalated further, and a young woman with black hair was banned from our hideout after the group had abused her mentally multiple times before,” his eyes were expressing his boiling rage over what happened.

  “Master Asthen eventually had enough, and we left the group to search for the young lady. We tracked her down as far as Lussaria, but we had no luck since then.”

  “And then you saw Cruelty?” Gwyn asked cautiously.

  “We don't know what we saw, but it looked like it was following you. Master Asthen suspected that we didn't stand a chance in a real fight, which is why we staged one as best as we could. He knew that someone like Passionare would react sooner or later, raising the security in the otherwise calm city. We didn't expect your aspect being so devious. I'm sorry, we acted with good intentions in mind.” Vylsanas apologized to Gwyn once more.

  “That's a lie we tell all of us, isn't it,” Leandro whispered to himself.

  Gwyn signaled the aspect that he didn't mind, as he wasn't sure how he would've reacted in his stead.

  “I'm not really known for thinking things through before I act,” he joked while the group heard Passionare laugh from the outside.

  “You hit the nail on the head, my Gwnny-boy!” he yelled while his big head peeped through one of the windows. “It sounds like a lot of fun in there. I'm coming as well!” The big guy joined them with a smile while the carriage was still riding along. As he entered through the door with a hefty jump, the carriage almost had to adjust itself through his added force.

  “Don't you have to control your boar?” Leandro seemed a little bit shocked

  “Ah, don't sweat it. Sharsan knows the way. We will pass Greed’s city soon, then go to the northwest and afterward, it's a straight line.”

  “Well if you say so…”

  “Listen up, boys,” Passionare changed the topic in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

  “This is your chance. I'm ready to explain any questions you may still have. I may not look like it, but Lord Lust has taught me quite a few things over the years, but I want to hear something about Despair in return.”

  “Then we will have to disappoint you right from the start. Except for the fact that he seemingly has quite a few strong generals and many Personas that follow him into battle, we know next to nothing,” Leandro said with Gwyn nodding in agreement before adding one more thing.

  “It also seems as if he is the leader of some kind of cult that was under the control of one his subjects, called Malice. Though we know nothing specific despite that they operated in a rundown city west of Lussuria, somewhat hidden in the mountains. Malice himself is dead thanks to us, so he won't be of help either.”

  “Huahaha, will you look at you two badasses? I can’t wait for you hold up your end of the deal, Gwyn,” Passionare burst forth with energetic laughter, flexing his whole body as he shook himself. “And you still want to kick that Despair guy's ass. That's freakin' FAN-TAS-TIC!” he responded.

  “Well, I can’t just ignore such courage. Two brave men like yourself need any help they can get. Listen up!” The muscular man was ready to tell them and their aspects about Despair.

  Everything he had heard came from Lord Lust himself. He told them that Despair only came to power in recent times, gaining more influence and followers. It was understandably hard to follow for Gwyn and Leandro, but for someone like Lust who had existed since this world came to be, it felt like a brief moment that he was simply expecting to pass by.

  “You have to know, that this world used to be much smaller than it is today. Lord Lust doesn't talk much about the old times, even before I was born, but it seems to be that this world was completely interconnected at birth.”

  “Interconnected? Like how?” Gwyn was fascinated.

  “Here it comes. There were seven deadly sins and seven heavenly virtues, existing side by side on one single continent. Of course, a few powerful individuals existed as well, but they mostly minded their own business. There was not a lot of space, but the balance between chaos and order was still in place. The more humans began to evolve though, the more the world started to grow apart.” Clumsily he tried to draw a map with his big fingers into the air.

  “I have never seen it all by myself, which is why I'm so excited, but meanwhile the chasm has grown so much that the world is separated by a huge river that flows diagonally through it – the river Ascendere.”

  “Wait, wait, just wait a moment,” Gwyn stopped him. “Does that mean the heavenly virtues really are segregated from the sins while co-existing with other powers?”

  “That's how it is, Gwnny-boy! Lord Lust said that mankind and its soul is the only limitation this world has. The more mankind knows about the laws of their own world, the more they gain insight into themselves, evolving further or sometimes even the opposite. Closing themselves off from the inside, focusing solely on the outside.”

  “And because there are a few things that are present within every human, these kinds of power struggles came to be?” Leandro added on top, thinking intensely about the implication of Passionare's words.

  “That's what I think as well. You see, I have only a few memories left of the old times, but maybe you have experienced this as well. Some things are suppressed for such a long time, that they are getting more and more traction before breaking through the surface. Something is felt so excessively that it becomes its own existence. ”

  The two friends took a moment to brood over what he said.

  “But why does Lust wish to change anything now? If this world is constantly changing like humanity itself, then why intervene now?” Gwyn asked.

  “Lord Lusts fears that individuals such as Despair are about to spark new wars like those in the old times, throwing it once more into unneeded chaos, instead of letting it evolve on its own.” Steam came out of his nasal cavities while he boasted about his Lord’s compassion.

  “Our world, just like yours, was never at complete peace. Yet even a hot-headed guy like myself realized that we live in a relatively quiet time. Lord Lust has seen enough of the bloodshed, which is why he re-built Lussaria in the middle of a secluded forest. A place where every citizen can pursue his desires and fantasies, without anyone judging them. It's a life of freedom I will always defend my Lord for. Even at the cost of my own life.”

  “Then why you didn't stop someone like Despair earlier?” Leandro was critical as he was reminded of the corpses of the masked ball.

  “That's the problem. Lust said that Despair was once known under a different name, maybe even someone who had made contact with many humans,” he sighed. “When it comes to that topic I always lose focus. I faintly remember my Lord saying something along
the lines of 'humans are the ones that help to change the course of fate' – maybe they are the reason Despair became what he is today, before anyone could even notice?”

  “Are you telling us that humans are the ones that bring about the major changes within a world that exists inside us all along? I'm sorry – You've lost me,” Leandro gave up as his head began to hurt.

  “I guess, yeah. This stuff isn't my forte either, but he explained it to me like this. Humans have moments where they can be completely overcome by sheer joy or anger, tuning out everything else. Weakening or strengthening them. Who knows how humans really affect this place? All of us haven't seen much, and the land of the virtues is at least just as large as ours.”

  “So that's why we're passing ruins and bleak walls of former cities?” Delirias inquired while still enjoying the view, listening to what Passionare had to say.

  “Yeah, the bigger the lands grew, the more everyone searched for their own place. Rumors even say that Lord Wrath has moved past the river Ascendere to wage his own war with the virtues, though I cannot confirm that. It's been quite a while since I've met with that old blockhead.”

  “Lord Wrath? So he's one of the sins you call by their title?” Gwyn had picked up, and Passionare started to grin.

  “Damn right I do. Of course, Lord Lust is the strongest of them all, but I have some serious respect for a guy that follows his own path with all of his might.”

  “Does that mean Wrath and Lust are the most powerful?” Leandro joined once more as the topic changed.

  “Hm,” Passionare seemed to be lost in thought for once. “I would count in Pride as well, though he is just too cute to call him Lord. Buwhaha,” he laughed “After all it's not easy to say. Rarely anyone has seen two sins fight and dared to tell stories about it,” Passionare stood up and looked outside. “It won't take much longer anymore. Greed is moving faster than I expected. Maybe I should have a talk with him about sending us some of those creatures as well,” the muscular man pondered “Anyway, we will soon reach our destination as we continue to ride to the northwest.”

  “What's east of here?” Gwyn's curiosity came through as quickly as ever.

  “Well, it's Sloth’s city, but I don't really want to talk about it.” It was the first time that they had seen Passionare flustered. “Just thinking about how I have to go there as soon as possible makes me feel uneasy.”

  “You were saying we'll reach our destination. Where exactly is that?” Leandro joined Gwyn’s side with crossed arms.

  “Hmpf, from what I heard from Greed is that, just like Lord Wrath, Despair relocated his stronghold to the land of the heavenly virtues to lay siege on their home.”

  “Kiki, quite the ambitious fellow,” Delirias giggled.

  “Though in his case, he left behind everything he didn't seem useful, which is why we'll soon see more of the abandoned villages. I really wonder how he managed that. You'd have to be pretty strong in order to create a tear in the river, which holds on long enough to have your people march through it.”

  “Of course it's not a common river … ” Leandro let his shoulders sag down and threw himself onto some cushions.

  “There is still something I have to tell you, guys,” Passionare hesitated a little as the gigantic man twiddled his fingers. “When we'll arrive at the rift, I'll have to leave you with Greed.. you'll be on your own, buddies. Sorry.” Expecting an uproar he was ready to hear their complaints, but it was Asthen who first replied.

  “Thanks for all your help, Passionare. We really appreciate it,” Asthen said, who slowly picked himself up like he was about to lose balance once more, before his aspect rushed to his side. Those words got followed up by Gwyn and Leandro, thanking him as well, with Passionare getting up to hug each and every one of them, before jumping back on his mighty boar.

  Indeed it took them quite a lot more time than they had anticipated. The few hours of sunlight each day could only be enjoyed through the windows of the wagon, as the men were mentally preparing for what was about to happen. None of them had counted how many days and nights they had spent together inside that wagon. As Gwyn felt that the sun was about to rise once more the armada came to a halt. The two giant moons were shining brightly onto the dried up ground.

  Not a single flower or tree was still in sight. Nothing resembled the peaceful fields they got to see outside of Magnus. It was an incredibly intoxicating feeling to be a part of such a large force. As Greed's men were building their tents for their final preparations, as Gwyn and Leandro could only imagine what awaited them on the other side.

  If the land of the virtues was even the slightest bit as dangerous as that of the sins, then they would be in for a world of trouble. The group decided to spent their last moments with Passionare and a drink in their carriage. The only one who left for a few moments was Asthen, who got up and had a look around the large camp they had built.

  “How are you feeling, master Asthen?” Vylsanas who followed him unnoticed started to worry.

  “Heh, I've told you many times I'm not your mast- kgh…” Asthen had another coughing fit.

  “And I've told you many times to take care of yourself. You're always going too far.”

  Right when young men wanted to answer, he noticed how a familiar voice came out Greed’s tent only a few yards further down the road.

  It was Emily holding a loud discussion with the deadly sin. First, he thought about leaving, but as he overheard the first few sentences, he couldn't turn his back on their talk anymore.

  “It is unforgivable that you allow these men to come with us!” she protested and slammed her hands on the intimidating Lord's desk.

  “I fear you are overestimating your role, little darling. Everyone who wants to see Despair perish, helping me in the process, is welcome here.”

  “It's way too dangerous!”

  “Shouldn't you let them decide that on their own?”

  “Argh, you're driving me nuts,” she snapped at him. “What do I have to do for you to leave them here, not taking them with us on the other side?”

  “Tzahzah, so you want to strike a deal? Hm,” the Lord in the wolf armor laid back in his chair. “You know, in comparison to Pride I'm quite the generous individual.”

  “Out with it!”

  “Alrighty then. We will leave those boys behind, if you agree to become a part of my personal army, as soon as we make it back to my city. Quite the fair offer, maybe too fair, don't you think?!” Greed began to laugh, almost sure that Emily would decline his proposal.

  “Done,” she answered bluntly and without hesitation. “If I can save their lives, then I don't care about the rest.”

  “Tzahkahzah, fantastic. I will be sure to remind you of that every single day we spent together. A deal is a deal after all. Welcome aboard.”

  Emily didn't stay any longer and stormed out of the tent without another word. Gieldan who hid himself outside immediately joined her side, though he wasn't the only figure that appeared.

  “I've heard everything,” Asthen confessed to her in the striking moonlight that engulfed the two.

  “Don't stand in my way. It is for your own good,” she argued, but the shy man shook his head.

  “It's not how you think. I agree with your opinion. Let me help you.”

  Shortly after, Asthen had returned to the others with a smile on his face.

  Passionare said his last words of goodbye as the young men were on their way to get some rest. Overeager about their farewell, Asthen demanded a last toast, involving the aspects to properly say goodbye, with each of them sharing one final drink together.

  Eventually, peace and quiet had found its way into the human carriage, while Greed's men were still out, celebrating and raising their hunger for battle. The group planned to take one last rest before the fight would break out once more, saying goodnight, while their aspects watched over them.

  Chapter 31 – Identity

  “Gwyn! Gwyn! Damnit, you idiot – wake up!” Leandro s
houted at his friend while shaking him by his shoulders.

  “W-what's going on? Did I oversleep?” Gwyn could see the moonlight shine through the window of their carriage.

  “No! They've duped us.”

  “What?!” Gwyn was suddenly wide awake, as he could only imagine what happened. As he saw the likes of Delirias and Destare slowly waking up from their slumber, he realized what was wrong.

  “But they never sleep,” he said aghast.

  “That damn cockroach, if I ever get my hands on him!” Delirias was furious, preparing his chains, as soon as he noticed he had slept as well.

  “I don't get them. Why allow us to come with them all the way and then leave us behind,” Leandro murmured.

  It was indeed like he said.

  They couldn't believe their eyes as soon as they stepped outside. The whole armada was gone, leaving almost nothing behind except for the trampled ground. The two men were by themselves. For some unknown reason, all of them felt a slight dizziness.

  “Do you think Asthen had something to do with this,” Gwyn asked cautiously.

  Leandro kicked one of the stones lying around him “Of course! You don't see him anywhere, do you? Do you think he'd just forget that he came with us?”

  “So this is our last chance to turn back…” Gwyn said abruptly.

  “Gwyn, I know you have your worries, but as far as I've come to know you, you will not back down after coming this far,” his friend responded.

  “Am I that predictable, heh?” both of them started to laugh.

  “We are friends, Gwyn. We may only know each other for a short time, but I feel closer to you than I ever did towards my fake-ass family. We will pull this off!”

  Destare was visible enjoying what Leandro said, while Delirias was inspecting the premises. They had become inseparable – a force to be reckoned with.

  Moving ever forward there was only one step left for the two human friends. The river Ascendere.