Find Me

by Nell Grey

  According to Frank, the bikers had returned two nights after. And they were royally pissed off for missing their bounty. Frank said the newspaper reported that they’d tied Jake up. Frank reckoned they’d tried to get Jake to spill where the woman and her little girl had been moved to. Of course, he didn’t have a clue. So they shot him dead, afraid Jake would rat them out to the police.

  Shaun’s mind was racing.

  His instincts had been right. Those holes he’d seen sprayed into the living room walls, they were bullet holes. No wonder the Brits wanted to dispose of the place. Once the Cobras had rumbled the safe house, it was unusable after.

  So, why had they given it to him? Was it no longer a risk now that things had calmed down, or had they simply thought that with his background that he could handle the Cobras?

  Frank promised over the phone to keep a close eye on Claire, though they both convinced themselves by the end of the call that things were a lot different now and that Jake’s shooting had been a one-off, thank God. Still, Frank didn’t know about the contract that was out on Shaun. And he didn’t know that Claire had been tracked down halfway across Europe.

  Shaun tried to think about it rationally. The Scousers were hardly the Mafia. And anyway, it was a bloody long way from New Brighton to New Zealand.

  It was late in the evening when Claire responded to him.

  Claire: Mr Cobain? Is that you?

  His heart pounded when he saw the reply notification flash up on his screen.

  Shaun: Call me Shaun, please. Have you recovered from your flight?

  Claire: Yes. Though I’m still waking up wanting to eat in the middle of the night. Your place is amazing. It’s so tranquil here.

  That was a relief. She liked the place. He thought about his response. What if he confessed to her right there and then? Admit to her who he was. How would she react?

  No, he chickened out, he needed to keep in role for now. Until he was more sure about things.

  Shaun: You ready for some work?

  Claire: Yes. Of course. I noticed the bedrooms in one wing need repainting. Do you want me to start on those?

  Shaun: Good idea

  Claire: Any particular colour?

  Shaun: You decide

  Claire: You sure? Celia and I were complimenting your interior design skills. You’ve got a great eye for colours, so I’m super-nervous about getting it wrong

  Shaun was puzzled. Most of the paint he’d used were neutrals and greys.

  Shaun: You won’t. The pots I’ve used are in the barn. Use the same colours, if you’re not sure

  Claire: I’m so grateful to my friend for sending me the advert for this job. Do you know Jason?

  Dammit! Had she sussed him out?

  Shaun: Jason?

  Claire: Oh. Never mind. It was a long shot. He said that the advert was from a friend

  Shaun: That’s possible, I sent it to lots of people

  Claire: Jason’s an airline pilot. Says he’d like to come over sometime to visit if that’d be alright?

  This was getting complicated.

  Shaun: Sure. Once the bedrooms are painted, there’ll be plenty of space for guests

  Claire: Great. He’s gay. And single

  Shaun: You trying to hook me up?

  Claire: No!

  The typing paused. She was obviously embarrassed. What was going on in her head? Did she think that he was gay too? Where had that come from?

  Celia. He bet she’d jumped to conclusions after he’d closed down her attempts at matchmaking.

  Amused, he stretched back onto his single bed. Never mind, her assumptions might help ease things between them.

  Shaun: Good night, Claire

  Claire: Good night, Shaun. Thanks again for the opportunity

  Chapter 12

  ---------✸---------

  “Want summat to eat?”

  Irish signalled over towards the prison officer for permission to move.

  “Yeah, okay,” Tony agreed.

  The guard gave them the nod.

  Tony wedged the second magazine that his brother had got through security into the elasticated waistband of his joggers.

  Together they made their way over to the hatch at the far end of the hall. Visitors could buy a cup of tea or a bite to eat there. And the time-served lags who manned it were doing ‘through the gate’ training for a national sandwich chain, their promised employment on release.

  “How’s Mum?”

  Tony’s eyes scanned around shiftily as they queued up at the hatch.

  Irish sensed his unease. Even here, in full view of the guards, you had to watch your back. Especially now he was carrying thousands of pounds worth of psychoactive infused paper rolled up in his joggers.

  “Fine. She misses you. Says she’ll come up in a fortnight and bring baby Leighton with her.”

  “Ah, that’ll be nice. I can’t wait to see him again. Hope he’ll know I’m his dad.”

  Irish sniffed.

  “Don't be daft. ‘Course he will.”

  It was the baby’s mother Tony needed to worry about. From the Snapchat pictures of her out clubbing, she didn’t look like she was missing Tony much these days.

  He’d sent her a little warning though. The pinkie of the lad she’d copped off with in the club. It would be a memorable shag for that bloke.

  “I’m starving. Wanna soup?”

  “Yeah. Okay.”

  He fixed his eyes on the balding man behind the counter.

  “Whitey? How you doin’ la?”

  The older man nodded back.

  “Not bad, Irish. A bit of luck, and I’ll be out soon.”

  He took in the logo on Whitey’s apron; ‘Sandwich Artist in Training.’

  “You gonna be spreadin’ butties when ya get out then, eh?

  “Summat like that.”

  “Great career choice, Whitey. Plenty of dough in that, I hear.”

  “Yeah, I see what ya did there. Very fuckin’ funny.”

  The portly female officer by his shoulder coughed.

  Irish nodded towards the large urn on the counter.

  “What’s the soup?”

  “It’s fuckin’ chicken.”

  The officer cleared her throat loudly.

  “John, we talked about this,” she reprimanded him. “You can’t talk to customers like that. It’s not fucking chicken is it?”

  Whitey opened the lid and carefully studied the contents of the steaming pot.

  “Sorry, Miss. No, you’re dead right. It’s not fuckin’ chicken.”

  He gave Irish and his kid brother a cheeky wink.

  “It’s fuckin’ tomato.”

  Irish snorted.

  “Two fuckin’ tomato soups it is then, Whitey.”

  The officer humphed, and the men sniggered their way back to their table.

  “Little victories,” he reflected out loud, sitting back down with his brother. “It’s the only way to survive this place. Don’t let the bastards get to yer, our kid.”

  They sipped at the tepid soup for a minute or so.

  Irish studied Tony’s face distorting into a frown. The way it always did when he was wrangling with something.

  “What’s up?”

  “Why d’ya call him Whitey? We all know his name’s John Cullen. He lives ‘round the corner from our Nan.”

  Irish stared at his little brother. Was he always this stupid?

  “‘Cos he drives the van. Does the deliveries.”

  “Yeah, but… his van, it’s not even white?”

  “It was once, alright.”

  A sulky silence settled between them.

  He looked back towards his brother. Tony wasn’t letting this go, he could tell.

  “But… he had a black one. I know, ‘cos when I was a kid I robbed it.”

  “Shut up will yer.”

  Irish’s voice became a gruff whisper.

  “We can’t go changin’ his name every single time he changes the colour of his
soddin’ van, can we? That’d be stupid. He’s Whitey, okay! End of.”

  “Jesus, don’t do yer nut in. I was only askin’.”

  “Look, I’m sorry, alright? Whitey owes me a favour or two. He’ll look after you in here.”

  Irish met his brother’s eye.

  “Sandwich artist, my arse.”

  “Yeah,” Tony smirked back, “He’ll never live that one down.”

  You need anything, our kid, if there’s any bother, you get word to Whitey, alright?”

  Tony nodded.

  “I will. Don’t you worry nutin’ about me.”

  He was glad to hear that others from the firm were here somewhere. It made things easier, having associates in there, even if they were on other wings. And being Irish’s brother counted for a lot.

  “You managed to track down the grass yet?” Tony asked him under his breath.

  His eye twitched. He’d lost count of the dead ends and false sightings he’d fielded in the last few weeks. And now, since Mac had botched things up, Edwards’ bird had gone cold too. No postings. No nothing.

  “Let it go, bruv.”

  “Can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “‘Leave it, Tone. I can’t, alright?

  His little brother was doing it again. Needling him. He always could call him out. Spot his weaknesses.

  “He’s harmed my family so he’s a dead man walking.”

  Tony shrugged.

  “Okay Don Connoroni, I believe ya. And it’s not at all ‘cos he shafted you.”

  Connor caught his brother’s eye and fired him a warning shot.

  Tony slumped sulkily back in his seat making him feel even worse. It wasn’t easy doing time.

  His little brother had aged a fair bit since he’d seen him last. His face now had that familiar grey pallor to it. Prison did that to you. The monotonous routine, the stodgy food and the long hours stuck in your cell.

  “I can’t leave it. Okay? Not while you’re banged up in here.”

  “Then find her, if it’ll make you happy,” Tony suggested. “With that scar, she should be easy enough to spot. Put a contract out on her too.”

  ◆◆◆

  “I can’t believe that I’m here. Every morning I wake up and I drink a mug of coffee sitting on the porch step looking out at the lake.”

  I’m talking online to Annie who’s sitting in The Cross Keys pub with Jac. It’s evening there, of course. And it looks like they’ve lit the fires in the pub. Cosy. I’m out of whack here. I’ve forgotten that it’s autumn back in Wales.

  It’s so good to see them both, I haven’t spoken with them since Greece. And seeing them here in front of me, in the pub, is making me feel more than a little homesick.

  Jac’s face appears on the screen.

  “What’s it like there?”

  “Look I’ll show you.”

  I get up and pan the camera of my phone around to show them the lake and then the lodge behind me.

  “That’s so gorgeous,” I hear Annie exclaim. “You lucky thing.”

  “And you’re there, all on your own?”

  I can hear a hint of concern in Jac’s voice.

  I roll my eyes at the screen.

  “I’m fine. It’s peaceful here. I’m enjoying having some space to think about stuff. It’s like being on the top of a mountain at home. Only here, it’s by a lake.”

  “What jobs are you expected to do?”

  “There’s not exactly a list. But painting and cleaning, mostly. Oh! And I’ve mended the chicken coop.”

  “You got hens?”

  Jac perks up. He can talk for hours about farming.

  “No. Only a feral rooster so far. Frank, my neighbour, says his name’s Rowdy. I’ve been putting feed out but he’s sneaky, he raids the food and flies away.”

  “He needs some ladies. Get him some hens,” Jac chips in.

  Annie pulls a face.

  “Do you get lonely?”

  “I’ve been jogging around the shoreline every afternoon and I’ve got a pickup truck so I can get to town. And tomorrow, I’m going to a barbecue at a neighbour’s place.”

  “Good, you’re getting to know the locals.”

  “Yeah, they’ve been great. But the invite’s a bit odd. On the text, it says to bring a plate? I’d’ve thought they wanted some wine or beer?”

  “Perhaps they don’t drink?” Annie suggests. “And what’s this boss of yours like?”

  “He’s away for a few weeks, working in a hostel up north. But he messages me at night to check how I’m doing. He’s a nice guy.”

  “And?…”

  I can see that Annie’s fishing. I grin back at her.

  “What?”

  “You like him. I can tell,” she says, shifting position and grabbing her orange juice.

  “He’s totally gay.”

  I smack that one down straight away. It’s typical of my luck because Shaun Cobain is really nice and I hate to admit that I’ve got a little crush on him brewing.

  “And… uh, we’ve got some news for you too.”

  Annie shifts the camera onto the both of them and I can see her grabbing hold of Jac’s hand.

  “What?”

  “We’re not gonna be able to come out and see you for a bit, I’m afraid.”

  They’ve got a farm so I wasn’t exactly expecting them to visit any time soon.

  “What she means,” Jac chips in, “Is that we’re expecting a baby.”

  “Oh, wow!” I squeal. “I so wish I was there to give you a huge hug! Congratulations!”

  “Yes,” Annie beams, “It’s been a bit of a shock. And really bad planning, ‘cos he or she’s making an appearance in April, right in the middle of lambing.”

  It’s lovely news but the call leaves me feeling flat.

  Annie and Jac are moving forward with their lives and from the call I can tell that they’re happy together.

  But what about me? What am I doing? And who would want me with this scar?

  I shake myself and refuse to waste any more time feeling sorry for myself. I’ve done enough of that.

  But still, I decide, if I was to settle down it would be somewhere like here.

  ◆◆◆

  The Bootle boozer was lively, even on a Tuesday afternoon. And most of the drinkers recognised Irish as he walked past them with his friends towards the bar.

  “Whitey, what’ll you be havin’?”

  “Err, Guinness, Irish. That’s very kind of you.”

  “Two pints of the black stuff and two triple Jamieson chasers please, love.”

  “Gerrit down ya!”

  Three mates alongside Irish slapped Whitey’s back as he downed his first full pint of Guinness in two gulps.

  “And how does that taste?”

  “Like freedom.”

  He laughed and toasted him with the whisky.

  “Sláinte!”

  “Sláinte!” they echoed back and emptied their glasses only to have them refilled again.

  “So… about this sandwich job ya got?” Irish ribbed.

  Whitey smirked.

  “Yeah, what about that. Giz us a week and I’ll be coughin’ and pickin’ me arse outta that one, don’t you worry, la’”

  Irish slapped his back.

  “Good to have yer back on the firm. And how’s our kid doin’?”

  “Tony’s alright. Don’t you be worrying about yer brother, he’s onto a good number with that magic paper of his. As long as he keeps getting hold of them bike magazines.”

  “Don’t you worry about that. I’ve signed him up for a monthly subscription,” Irish joked, feeling into his pocket as his phone vibrated.

  Whitey watched as Irish’s face transformed.

  “What d’ya mean, he didn’t deliver?” he growled into the phone.

  He looked across at Whitey, his phone on mute.

  “Fancy doin’ us a job this week? A thievin’ scally over in Toxteth needs a new pair of boots.”

  “
Concrete ones, Irish?”

  He sniffed in agreement.

  “And a good dunk head-first into the Mersey. That’s after he tells me where my five grand is. I’m not wasting my time on this one. You chop him till he squeals.”

  Whitey swallowed his second pint down as Irish ended the call.

  There was a notification on the fake Facebook site he’d created.

  He clicked onto it.

  It said that his Facebook friend, Claire Williams, had been tagged into a picture.

  “What the fu…”

  The picture was of a woman’s slightly rounded stomach with the message underneath,

  ‘Great to see Claire Williams on FB today. Now even New Zealand has heard our news. Can’t wait until March!’

  “Lads, I’ve gotta go.”

  “Argh! Eh? Come on, Irish. Whatever it is’ll wait.”

  “Sorry boys.”

  He nodded to the girl and stuck a hundred quid behind the bar for them. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys, pressing them into Whitey’s hands.

  “What’s this?”

  “Yer new van. For collections and deliveries.”

  “Thanks, Irish.”

  “It’s white. And don’t you be changing the feckin’ colour again.”

  Whitey laughed appreciatively.

  “I’ll give yer a call when I’ve done the job.”

  He clenched Whitey’s shoulder.

  “Get me back my five grand, alright?”

  “No problem, Irish.”

  Feeling the chill of the autumn air as he came out of the dark boozer into the afternoon light, Irish reread the Facebook notification.

  It could be nothing. Claire Williams was backpacking around the world, but at least now he had a lead.

  The contract would be easy enough to put out to New Zealand. He didn’t know much about the outfits there, but he was sure there’d be some badass boys who’d like to earn a few quid.

  And as for Claire Williams, she was collateral damage. As his dear old dad had taught him, to catch a big fish you need to use live bait.

  ◆◆◆

  Every night for the week she’d been living at the lake, once the boys were settled in their rooms for the night Shaun had been messaging Claire.

  Claire: Hi Shaun, are you free to chat?

  He couldn’t help but smirk when he saw the message come in. It was the best part of his day, speaking with her.