Find Me

by Nell Grey

  Shaun: Has there been anyone strange or suspicious around?

  Claire: No. Only Vern :)

  Shaun: Good. Sleep tight, Claire

  Claire: Goodnight, Shaun

  Chapter 14

  ---------✸---------

  ‘Kia Ora from New Zealand,

  One of my boys seen the dark-haired girl with a scar down her neck that you’re looking for. She’s staying out by us. I need five thousand pounds wired to the account below.

  Once we get that we can talk.

  Cobra King’

  Irish read the message in his encrypted mail again. It was the right country. He hadn’t said anything about location on the contract he’d put out globally on Claire Williams. But five thousand quid? That was bloody steep without supplying any proof. And this ‘Cobra King’? Who the Hell was he?

  ‘I’ll wire you a thousand. The other four you get once you send me photographs of her.

  Irish’

  Sitting at his desk, he played with the paperclip in his hand, stretching the bends out until it was a straight piece of wire again. Bending it hard in two, the wire snapped in his fingers.

  Was he any closer?

  Perhaps. There was still not a sniff on Sion Edwards. But this was a waiting game and he’d have to be patient a little while longer.

  ◆◆◆

  Painting the rooms with the same colours as the pots in the shed, no problem.

  But, now Shaun says he wants me to order the furnishings and I have a budget and a card to pay for it all.

  This should be every woman’s dream job. Isn’t it supposed to be in our DNA? But, honestly, I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.

  I’m so terrified about getting it wrong that I flip out on the phone to Celia. She tells me to get my butt over to the café in town tout-suite.

  The eatery is an incongruously uber-artsy joint in this rural outpost of a town. I order a flat white and search for Celia who I find with her friend in the back courtyard.

  “Claire, this is Tia.”

  Celia introduces me to a stylish young woman with long wavy brown hair. Straightaway the wonderful piece of carved jade she’s wearing around her neck tells me that she’s artsy. As opposed to me, I think a little self-consciously in my plain black t-shirt and paint-flecked cargo pants.

  “Kia Ora, Claire.”

  She greets me with a pristine smile.

  “Tia owns this place.”

  The back of the cafe is a walled garden, stuffed with tropical plants in pots and covered overhead in strings of garlanding light bulbs.

  “Bought it on a whim. Been the bane of my life and the joy of it ever since.”

  “It’s very cool.”

  Like her.

  Celia presses on.

  “Tia trained as a designer. She can help you.”

  “Thank God!”

  She’s surprised by the strong hug I give her.

  “I’m way out of my depth.”

  Tia gets out her phone and shows me pictures of bedrooms.

  “Keep it plain. Buy neutral colours for the bedding.”

  Celia sips her coffee.

  “Especially if it’s for paying guests. You’ll be needing to keep them freshly updated.”

  I hadn’t thought of that. I’m like a sponge soaking up their every word.

  I see what she means. The art and the cushions pop out the colour but everything else is muted.

  She promises to come up to the lake lodge later in the afternoon to help to get me going. I’m so thankful, she has no idea. Celia is a miracle-worker.

  As soon as I’m back at the lodge, I disappear down the Google rabbit hole, scouring the internet for bedroom ideas and looking at the colours so that I can have some ideas to show Tia.

  It’s more fun than I thought, and I get carried away. So much so, that when I hear the sound of her SUV pulling up outside the lodge, I realise that the groceries I bought in town are still lying in their bags on the countertop.

  “Hey! Come on in, I’m a woman obsessed!”

  “I always wanted to see inside this place.”

  Tia glides into the kitchen. She’s effortlessly cool, I think enviously as she floats around the place like an exotic butterfly, while I’m shoving things into the fridge.

  “Ahh, the living room.”

  “Yeah, I love the windows and the view.”

  “Whose idea was it to paint over the wood on the walls with white?”

  “Shaun’s. He’s the owner.”

  “I love it. It feels kinda Scandi.”

  “That’s the problem. He’s great at this, which makes it ten times worse if I stuff it up.”

  She tuts and brushes that idea away with her hand.

  “Gimme a tiki tour of the rooms.”

  We spend all afternoon measuring and evaluating each room. The space, the light, the colour. I’m learning so much. Then I grab the laptop so we can go online to find ideas and stockists.

  She stares at my photo on the screen background. It’s one I took of the lake. It was early morning and there was a mist rolling across it. It’s one of my favourites.

  “Who did that?”

  I grin at her and shrug.

  “You got some more?”

  Standing on the porch I hug her again. This time it’s with genuine affection, not like this morning when I clung to her like a life raft in the ocean.

  I’ve hammered Shaun’s credit card pretty hard but it’s still way below the budget he gave me.

  She won’t hear of me paying for her time.

  “Ten percent commission on those pictures is good enough for me.”

  We’ve ordered a set of canvases from my lake photos for her café. I’m really not sure that she’ll be able to sell them all but I don’t want to dampen her enthusiasm.

  Tia smiles at me.

  “This was fun. Monday night at the café, we’ve got a girl’s night goin’ on. Please say you’ll come?”

  “I’d love to.”

  Today has been one of the best here. I hadn’t realised how lonely I’d become out at the lake.

  “Who’s that?”

  She sweeps her long, dark hair over her shoulder and looks over to the shoreline to where a huge bald man with a long beard is taking photographs of the lake. “You seen him before?”

  “No. I’ve not seen anyone really, the odd fisherman and family come up for the day. That’s it.”

  My attention is drawn to the telephoto lens.

  “He’s got a professional bit of kit there. He’s probably a twitcher.”

  “A what?”

  “A birdwatcher.”

  “But the guy was taking snaps of the lodge and us on the deck.”

  “The place does look so pretty by the shore, don’t you think? He looks like he’s a professional photographer.”

  Tia stares at him doubtfully. The back of his leather jacket has a large snake on it.

  “Not sure about that. And no way will his snaps be as good as yours. I’ll stay here ‘til here’s gone.”

  She’s being overly cautious. I guess it’s because he’s a big guy and he looks a little intimidating. But he can’t help that. Working behind a bar has taught me that some of the toughest looking biker blokes are the biggest softies at heart.

  He wanders peacefully away along the beach and a few minutes later we hear the unmistakable popping of his Harley Davidson telling us he’s moved off.

  “It’s a bit lonely out here, Claire.”

  Tia looks concerned.

  “When did ya say your boss is back?”

  “Another couple of weeks.”

  “If you want to take a break and come crash out at the beach with me, just say. Any time. I mean it. I’ve plenty of space. And if you have any agro out here, you give me a call. I’ll get my brothers out to you right away.”

  “Thanks. Honest, Tia, I’ll be fine. But I’ll see ya Monday night, yeah?”

  ◆◆◆

  Shaun’s heart leapt when he h
eard the familiar sound of an incoming message. Claire was online. He grabbed the phone from the charger and lay back on his small hostel bed to read what she’d sent him. He laughed out loud. It was a warning. She’d been spending his money.

  Claire: Don’t have a blue fit when you see your bank account, okay? I’m giving you fair warning

  Shaun: Is it gonna hurt?

  Claire: Uhh, I’m not over budget but I have ordered furnishings for all the bedrooms

  Shaun: Good

  Claire: It was fun. I had help from Tia, a local designer. She’s invited me to a girls night out. She owns the café

  Shaun: Making friends here, then?

  Claire: I hope so

  Shaun: Putting down roots?

  Claire: I’ve only got a six-month visa, so not likely

  Shaun: You’ll have to marry a resident then, to stay

  Claire: I’m looking every day

  Shaun: Is that right?

  Claire: Uh-huh... Vern tells me he’s not interested

  Shaun: He’s playing hard to get

  Claire: Y’think?

  Shaun: Definitely

  Claire: Oh well. And you’re gay, so I’m running out of options

  Shaun considered his response.

  Shaun: I’m not gay, Claire

  He felt his pulse racing as he waited for what she was going to say next.

  Claire: You’re not?

  Shaun: You’re shocked?

  Claire: But… All the things I’ve said! Oh, SHIT! I’m SO Sorry!

  Shaun: Woah. Slow down

  Claire: I was only messing around; I wasn’t flirting with you. Honest

  Shaun: I know

  Claire: I really like it here and you’re my boss and I don’t want to ruin things and now I’m so embarrassed and I’m going to meet you and it’s all going to be super awkward and if you want to stop chatting, I totally understand

  Shaun: Don’t stress out. I don’t want us to stop talking

  Claire: You don’t?

  Shaun: No why would I? Do you?

  Claire: No

  Shaun: So are we cool?

  Claire: Yeah. I guess. But I’m still cringing. I’ve said way too much. And I can’t believe I told you about my naked swim

  Shaun: You didn’t

  Claire Oh God

  Shaun: You only said you were floating on top of the water

  Claire: Ground swallow me up. Please. NOW!

  He grinned at her embarrassment. He’d think about that swim of hers later. It was fun teasing her. Was it time to tell her? Not everything, but a little bit more.

  Shaun: I had a long talk with Rawiri tonight. You remember the kid I was telling you about? The one who’s working on the waka?

  Claire: The canoe?

  Shaun: We all went for a practice out on the water this evening and after, me and him had a bit of chat. Things are tough at home for him. I want to help if I can ‘cos things haven’t always been easy for me either

  Claire: Can you help him?

  Shaun: Honestly? I’m not sure. It’s hard when you’re in the middle of things. Things that you think are normal. But they aren’t, and you can’t see the bigger picture.

  Claire: And Rawiri?

  Shaun: He’s still stuck in that groove. His dad’s in a gang. He wouldn’t say much but he’s got that look about him like he’s seen stuff no kid should be seeing.

  Claire: You sound like you know a lot about this.

  Shaun: I do. I spent years hiding from my dad. By the age of six, I could tell you what skin smells like when it’s burned by a cigarette. And why you always keep your mouth shut about it.

  Claire: Oh my… I’m so sorry, Shaun

  Shaun: I packed it away. Buried it deep inside me and got on with life, as you do. Then one night a few months back, my past slammed into me hard.

  He took a deep breath. How much would he say?

  Shaun: A woman I knew well, she’d spent years being abused by her husband and she opened up to me about it ‘cos I saw her scars and, well, you can’t kid a kidder, as they say.

  Claire: Did you help her?

  Shaun: Yeah, I did. She was sick, Claire. So sick, that she’d had enough. One night she came to see me. She’d defended herself and she’d killed him. And I covered it up for her so she wouldn’t get arrested.

  He held his head in his hands waiting for her reply, not daring to hope.

  Claire: You did what you thought was right at the time

  Shaun: And I don’t regret it

  He wondered what she’d say about that, but she had to know the truth. He was glad that he’d helped Maureen that night.

  Claire: So, you’re running too?

  Shaun: Yes, I’m running too. I had to leave someone very special to me. And before you ask me the question I asked you, yes I did love her. I still do

  Claire: And can you get in touch and tell her?

  Shaun: Maybe, if she wants to find me

  If only he could be there now. How he longed to wrap her in his arms. Feel her soft hair with his mouth, bring his lips down and trail them softly along her neck, kissing away all her sadness and anxieties.

  His heart ached. Talking to Claire hurt more than the silence.

  His thoughts were punctured by a knock on his door. It was late.

  “Ari?”

  Shaun got up from his bed, answering the door in his t-shirt and boxers.

  “Michelle’s called. The baby’s coming. You good here?”

  “Yeah, sweet.”

  Shaun touched his friend’s arm.

  “Good luck, mate.”

  ◆◆◆

  My head is spinning as I try to process this. I can’t sleep, everything he’s written keeps running through my mind.

  Helping a woman… Then why did he have to leave?

  And then the realisation seeps into my thoughts. And the crushing truth of it.

  Does she know?

  I scroll quickly through to find the photo of him climbing the rock.

  Studying it, I can tell now, the shape of his body. It’s him. I’m almost certain of it. How could I not have known? Our conversations… our deep connection?

  Now I see it, it’s obvious.

  And he’s brought me here. And he loves me.

  I can’t help myself, even though it’s way past midnight I click on the messaging app and type his name.

  Claire: Sion?

  My phone buzzes back in answer.

  For the first time, a video call.

  “You found me.”

  He’s staring at me, his hair mussed up like he’s been finding it as hard to sleep as me.

  “You found me too.”

  But it’s tears, not words that are flowing now.

  “Shaun,” I manage to stutter. “I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you and didn’t go with you that night. I was such a fool. I tried to call you but you’d gone. I’ve regretted it every single day.”

  “Claire!”

  His voice cracks too and I can see that he’s struggling to hold it together.

  “I was so confused. Can you ever forgive me, Shaun?”

  He sniffs.

  “Yes. Of course. You’re here now.”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  “Please don’t cry,” he rasps, rubbing his face.

  “They’re happy tears.”

  I smile at his face on the screen and wipe the salty trickles away.

  “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “Did you suspect?”

  “No. But that bond we have, I’ve only ever had it with you. It was weird that me and Shaun had it too.”

  He chuckles lightly and sniffs, serious again.

  “I didn’t kill Glyn.”

  “Does Annie know her mother killed her father?”

  “No. It was for Maureen to tell her not for me.”

  “I’ll never breathe a word of it, Shaun. I promise.”

  Recovering himself too, he rakes his hand through his hair and looks straigh
t at me. His blue eyes piercing my heart.

  “I’m not proud of everything in my past, Claire, but I was always working for the good guys.”

  “Don’t worry, Jason told me everything.”

  “My wingman.”

  He looks relieved and still emotional. We both are.

  “I met more of the Scousers after you’d gone. They came after me in Greece.”

  “Jason told me. After that, I had to get you here.”

  “You? Of course. There was no job. And Jason was in on it?”

  His eyes burn with intensity as I mull that over.

  “I never meant to trick you, Claire. But I wasn’t sure how you’d react if I contacted you.”

  “I’m really glad you did.”

  “You don’t need to be afraid anymore. I’ll protect you. You’ll be safe here, with me.”

  His words make me ache for him.

  “When will I see you?”

  “Ari’s wife’s gone into labour. I’ll need to stay until the end of term.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I can’t say more. I can’t tell him of how I’ll be dreaming about the warmth of his lips as they gently cover mine or the shivers of anticipation that wash over me in waves as I imagine his hands softly feeling their way around my body in tentative exploration.

  None of that can be spoken about yet.

  “Sweet dreams, Shaun,” I breathe, exhausted yet elated.

  “You too, Claire,” he whispers back before I end the call.

  Chapter 15

  ---------✸---------

  The printed out photos lay flat on the desk in front of him. Several were of her with a friend on a wooden deck area at the front of a house. There was a good shot of her head. They’d used a telephoto lens and he could see her neck and make out the scar-line down it. It was her alright.

  Irish leaned back in his chair and considered his next move. There was another woman with her, not Sion Edwards. That was disappointing. Was he going to waste time, effort and money chasing her down when the rat wasn’t even there?

  He needed more. He’d wired the five thousand through, so it wasn’t unreasonable to ask.

  He logged into the secure mailing account.

  ‘Cobra King,

  Is there a man with her? New to the area. Six foot. White. Welsh. If you can get me proof he’s there, we’ll talk more.