Not Ready To Fall

by Sophie Monroe

  Jack

  At four-thirty, Jack woke up to pee and realized that Charlotte was curled up on her side wearing his tee. Her hair was strewn across the pillow and she looked like an angel with the moonlight shining on her face. Last night went better than he could have anticipated. The way her body responded to his was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. This was turning into dangerous, uncharted territory real fucking fast.

  Knowing the morning after a one-night stand was always a little awkward, he was dreading losing the feeling of peace he felt when she was around. She was everything he wasn't. He was bold and in no way ready to let any kind of emotion into his life. When he met Charlotte, he knew she was different. A good different. He never felt pressured with her. She was easy going, seemed stable and was happy with whatever he gave of himself to her.

  Normally, girls tried sinking their blood-soaked claws into him right away. They'd pretend to be these great girls that wanted the same things he did, only to turn around and be everything but. After his last love had gone downhill, he swore off dating to do his own thing. No need for a ball and chain when life was good. As much as he enjoyed time with Charlotte, he wanted it with no strings attached. No promise of commitment. He needed to make sure she understood the rules. The thought of her turning out like the other girls made his stomach turn. He was left wondering how she was going to feel about it, and if she still felt the same way after last night. He suddenly worried he was going to lose her altogether.

  Knowing going back to bed wasn't going to happen, he went into the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee. His mind started wandering. Losing his brother had taken its toll on him, more than he would let himself realize. There was no breaking down in his eyes. You stayed the course, no matter how awful things got.

  He sat at the kitchen table pondering everything. He was busy at work and that helped pass the days. Sunday's were for drinking, and overall he felt content with his life. There was no changing who he was, not at this point. Charlotte must have woken up because she stood in front of him. Even he had to admit, she looked adorable all sleepy.

  "Good morning." He smiled.

  "There's nothing good about mornings," she grumbled.

  She walked over to the counter and poured a cup of coffee. Her hair sticking in several directions. Her perfect ass hanging out from under his t-shirt. He wanted to take her again, and wondered how willing she'd be. Needing her at least one more time before he put what he wanted on the line, he walked up behind her and lowered his lips to her neck. She smelled like vanilla, whiskey and him. A heady sensory cocktail.

  His body pressed up against her back, she turned her head to the side to give him better access. His tongue ran along her collarbone, up her neck, to her ear. "I'm going to fuck you here, over the kitchen counter. Hard." His hand caressed her ass, sliding down to her heat. He loved that she was so receptive to him.

  He hardened with anticipation. He pulled her roughly, almost violently to him. Her hand wrapped around the back of his neck, as her back arched. As he sprung free from his boxer briefs, he entered her in a swift motion. A loud moan escaped her full lips. His hand wrapped around her neck, as he slid two fingers into her mouth and began to thrust. He took her with reckless abandon, her juices drenching him. Each movement sending him closer to the edge. Finally, he couldn't hold out any longer.

  Pulling himself from her, he sat her on the counter. Sucking in a deep breath, Jack steadied his thoughts. He knew they somewhat already agreed on just being friends with benefits, but the need to clarify it was stronger after what had transpired with their connection. It was so strong it even took him back.

  "I think you are amazing, but with everything I have going on right now, I can't offer you more than a no strings attached kind of thing. It has nothing to do with you, or what the future possibly holds. I just don't want you to end up resenting me for being emotionally unavailable if it keeps going."

  She rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure that no strings attached is guy code for you're emotionally retarded, but your vagina sounds neat. I'm only kidding. I get it. You know I just got out of a long-term relationship and I'm trying to put my own pieces back together." Her facial expression didn't quite match her words. She seemed hurt.

  He wasn't sure whether to take her word for it, or just stop it now. With all these thoughts crossing his head, it was time for pancakes.

  CHARLOTTE

  Something was definitely off with Jack, she could feel it. His guard was up and he was on the defensive. She wondered if she'd done something wrong. She began doubting herself. After what Owen had done, she was left with a lot of self-doubts. She never really lacked confidence, but in a lot of ways she never felt like she measured up either. She had almost hoped whatever was transpiring between her and Jack, that it would help her find it. He exuded so much confidence, it was contagious. Fearing the worse, she headed back to the bedroom to get herself together and collect her things.

  When she came back out, he sat at the breakfast bar with a plate of pancakes stacked in front of him. There was another plate next to him. He looked confused when he saw her.

  He pushed the pancakes toward her.

  "I'm not hungry, but thank you."

  He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead just shrugged and continued eating. Her stomach sank and turned. She wished she had her car, so she could just go home and have a threesome with Ben & Jerry. Instead, she was forced to sit here and watch him eat pancakes in his boxer briefs.

  In less than a half hour, everything had gone from fine to horrible.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ROUND HERE

  Charlotte

  Three weeks later...

  Sitting in the bar on a Saturday night, I was laughing with my new cute friend, Hunter. We met at a mutual friends house, two weeks ago. Since then, we've hung out a few times. He didn't give me the feelings that Jack did, not even close. Jack and I had barely spoken since that morning. As much as it made my heart sink, there was no forcing him to do something he didn't want to do. If he didn't want me, that was fine, but I was done wallowing in my pity. He never gave me an answer as to why he acted the way he did, and I was done trying to drag it out of him. All I wanted was a little fun and someone to hang out with. As I sipped my passion fruit Mojito, yes I gave up Jack and Coke for now, I felt a hole being started into my back. Knowing exactly who it was, I leaned over and kissed Hunter on the cheek. Eat that, Jack. Hunter was easy going, worked in construction and was fun to hang out with.

  Suddenly, Jack appeared standing between us.

  "You're fired." He said and walked away.

  My head whipped to turn and watch him. I wondered what just happened. I turned to look at Hunter.

  "Apparently my boss isn't too happy with me right now." He rolled his eyes and got up to walk over to Jack's table.

  Not wanting to get involved, I stayed put on my stool and watched. There seemed to be a heated discussion going on. Jack's hands slammed down on the table, making Hunter flinch. Surely the reaction wasn't about me, he's barely given me the time of day in almost three weeks. If he gave a shit, he would have reached out and said so. They had exchanged a few more words before Hunter started his walk back toward where I was sitting. His head was down and he didn't look very happy.

  "Everything okay?" I asked.

  "I don't think we can see each other anymore." He tossed a few bills onto the bar and headed for the door.

  My blood boiled. What the fuck did Jack say to have Hunter just leave like that? I rose from my stool and marched over to Jack. I was feeling pure rage geared at him. My heels clinked on the hardwood floors.

  "What the fuck?" I spat at him.

  "He's my employee," was his response.

  "So that means he can't hang out with me?" My hands started to shake as anger took over.

  "I don't think it's appropriate."

  "You know what I don't think is appropriate? You fucking me over your kitchen counter, then giv
ing me the silent treatment. It's been weeks, Jack. I didn't think you were interested anymore. I get it, you're Mr. Bachelor that doesn't want to be tied down. But guess what, I don't want that either! All I want is sex and someone to go out with sometimes. I thought we were on the same page then you slammed the door in my face. You don't get to choose who I see and who I don't. I'm not yours!"

  I turned to stomp away, but the last bit of mojito I chugged before coming over here hit me hard and I went down. His hand reached out and caught me before I hit the ground.

  "You're in no shape to drive. Let me take you home."

  "I'll call a cab," I seethed. I shrugged his arm off and tried to get my bearings back.

  "Good luck getting a cab 'round here at this time of night," one of his friends chimed in.

  Grumbling, I knew he was right and Hunter was most likely at the county line by now.

  "I'm not going anywhere with you. I'd rather sleep by the dumpster."

  Next thing I knew, I was being flung over his shoulder as if I weighed nothing and hauled out the door. He opened the door to his lifted pickup truck and placed me in the passenger seat. I knew fighting any further was futile. He could outmaneuver me in every way, even while I was sober. I crossed my arms and started to pout like an errant child. Fuck him. He could take me home, but after that it was going back to how it was for the past three weeks.

  Climbing into the driver's side, he turned the diesel engine. It roared to life as the radio started blaring through the cab. He reached to the dash to turn it down and looked over at me. Again, it looked like he wanted to say something. Instead, just like last time he sat there in silence as he put the truck into reverse and headed towards my house.

  By the time we pulled into my parking lot, I wasn't feeling so well. The bumpy roads and lack of food had my stomach turning. As soon as the truck was in park, I was out and headed to the bushes to lose my mojito's. My heels were still on the floor of his truck. They were my favorite pair, so I had to hope that he would at least take them out before driving off.

  His hands reached out and pulled my hair into a makeshift ponytail, as I heaved into the greenery. Much to my embarrassment and dismay, it kept coming. Memories of the first night we met flashed through my mind. Tears pricked my eyes. There was no reason this should be affecting me as much as it was. He was just a guy. There were plenty out there, but I knew from the get-go that he was different. I craved his company. It didn't mean I wanted him to love me, not right now anyway.

  Once I was done, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and started walking to my front door. I needed mouthwash and to get away from him. He followed me.

  "Thanks for getting me home and holding my hair. Sorry you had to see that."

  I fished the keys out of my pocket and unlocked the front door.

  "Can I come in?" He asked.

  "I don't think that's such a good idea."

  He stood there hesitating. "Please."

  Fuck me. His green eyes looked so sad, and I was doomed to say no.

  "Fine. But you're not staying long."

  I flicked on the lights and made my way into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, twice, and swished my mouth with Listerine. When I came into the living room, he was standing there looking at the canvas pictures hanging on the walls.

  "Feeling any better?"

  "A little." Not giving a shit, I stripped out of my jeans standing in the hallway and tossed them onto the couch. I went and took a seat on my plush, gray sofa and hugged a pillow. "I'm fine. You can go now. I'm just going to watch some TV until I fall asleep."

  "I was sort of hoping that we could talk first. I don't like how things ended. I don't know how to do this," he said gesturing between us.

  "It was your idea to start with!" I practically yelled.

  "I thought I'd be okay with it, but you leave me wanting more. It's scary, uncharted territory for me. I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm not boyfriend material. I work like a maniac, I play even harder and I think you're just going to end up resenting me for not being who you want me to be."

  "You're not even giving me the chance to find out. I told you I was good with the no strings attached thing. I'm trying to get my name out there in the interior design world and I end up working sixty hour weeks most of the time. I don't expect anything from you, but how you ended things isn't okay. You made me feel used, Jack. Like I'm not good enough for you. That's exactly how Owen made me feel toward the end of our relationship. No matter how hard I tried, he'd just shut down. I can't handle that. I know what I bring to the table and I deserve better than what you gave me. You scare me too. You're beyond alpha, you're completely all over the place, but something pulls me to you. I should be running the other direction as fast as I can, but I don't want to."

  He ran his hands over his head. "What are we doing?"

  I sighed into the pillow, biting back a scream. "You're leaving and I'm going to bed."

  His face fell. "This is it then?"

  "I don't know, Jack. I'm not really in any shape to be making big decisions right now. As much as I'd love for you to fuck me six ways to Saturday, it's not going to happen. Whatever this is, is all over the place. Please," I couldn't finish my sentence because his lips crashed into mine. Demanding.

  I knew I should stop him, but I didn't want to. It was so wrong, it was right. We were a disaster. A complete, utter, hundred mile an hour train wreck of blissful disaster. The way my body responded to the slightest touch made it even harder to think straight. I loved the commanding way he took my body and made it his own. How his calloused hands felt against my sensitive skin. My head was spinning from the alcohol, and him.

  I was supposed to be in Jack rehab.

  "Stop fighting it, baby. Just let it flow." His lips grazed mine and I was done. There was no going back. Clothes were being tossed and my back was on the floor before I could process another thought. His hand found my core. Gently, he used his thumb to work my clit. He could have just skipped that step, I was ready. When his eyes met mine, there was something different. Maybe it was lust, but whatever it was it scorched my soul. The need for him became inescapable.

  "Fuck me," I practically cried. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than him.

  "Gladly." He palmed himself, gliding up and down my slick heat before lining up at my entrance. Slowly, he ebbed forward while holding me in place. I wanted all of him, and I wanted it now. "Patience," he whispered.

  Every inch was pure pleasure mixed with torture. Every nerve ending felt like a live wire. Every ounce of me craved him, his touch. The painstakingly slow pace was killing me. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, he thrust forward sending me spiraling into pure bliss. My back arched in ecstasy. His fingers slid up my ribcage finding my nipples while his tongue danced with mine. Each movement more deliberate and heightened than the next.

  He flipped me over and started rubbing my clit sending me into overdrive. His other hand pressed lightly below my belly button making me lose control like he loved to make me do. I soaked him as he let out a deep, low growl. I felt him thicken as he pounded into me at a fierce pace, before spilling himself inside me. My body shook from the aftermath of the orgasm he'd just given me. Sex with Jack was intense. Very intense.

  As the high wore off, reality set in. I wasn't ready to deal with it just yet. He picked me up and carried me to bed. Heading into the bathroom, he came back with a wet washcloth and went to work wiping me down before climbing into bed next to me. Pulling me to his chest, I drifted off to a place where this all made sense. Where we made sense...

  Jack

  I felt like an asshole. I never should have pushed her tonight. She was always occupying a place in my mind, no matter how hard I tried to push her out. She was infectious. The connection and chemistry we shared was something I'd never felt before, and probably would never again. There were so many reasons why I should be crawling out of her bed and sleeping on the couch, or better yet at home, but I couldn't bear to leave he
r. Not again.

  The past three weeks had moved painstakingly slow. So many times I picked up my phone to text her, even re-reading old messages, but decided against it. She deserved more that what I was able and willing to give her right now. No matter how much she said otherwise, deep down I know she's looking for "more". I'm not in the market for that right now. I can't be. My focus needs to be growing my business, so I can get to a place where I feel like I can let someone into my life. I want to be the provider. I want to have kids, at least two. But, that's on hold until I get this bug out of my system.

  Her small hand sat on my chest. I looked down at her angel's face and my heart skipped a beat. I still couldn't let myself pussy out. I had to remain strong. It was the only way my long term plan was going to work. The hardest part was she was everything I ever wanted in a woman. In the short time we've known each other, she's shown me love, acceptance, compassion, and even forgiveness.

  Seeing her with Hunter tonight brought out my inner caveman. If I were a dog, I would have lifted my leg and marked my territory right then and there. Sure, I was much harder on him than necessary, but dammit she was mine. Well, she wasn't and right now I didn't want her to be, but I still wanted some sort of claim on her. What the fuck was I getting myself into?

  Again, I tried to convince myself to leave. My heart and my mind both told me if I left now, there would be no coming back. That wasn't a risk I was willing to take at the moment. She was so soft and warm. The way she responded to me was such a turn on. She was always tight and ready. The thought made my dick twitch. Fuck. My. Life.

  Moving her hair out of her face, I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes praying for sleep.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  TRY TO FIGHT IT

  Charlotte

  His phone didn't stop pinging all morning and I was about to get up and chuck it in the toilet. How the fuck did he sleep through it? I despised mornings. Especially ones where I felt hung over and groggy. Last night replayed in my mind and I wondered what version I was going to get this morning. Jack was sprawled out naked next to me. He looked so peaceful when he slept. If only he could be like that more often. I knew he was normally up early, so the fact that he was still sleeping shocked me. He was snoring away quietly and it made me laugh because he looked like a big stupid man-child. A good looking one, but the view of him right now cracked me up.