Dual Desires (Triple Threat Book 3)

by Bella Jeanisse

  The intro to “Fight or Flight” began. I smiled and leaned on the balcony railing. Phil was next to me, with a protective arm around my shoulders. Unconsciously, I leaned into him.

  “You OK?” he asked in my ear.

  I winced. “My hip.”

  He nodded. “I got it.” He stepped back and spoke into the headset he kept on his belt, but I couldn't understand him. A minute later, he pressed his body against mine. “Sam's sending someone up with a chair.” His hands slid over my hips and held me to him. “Anything I can do?”

  “What're you doing?” I turned and glared at him.

  With a grin, he ground his half-hard cock into me. “He said I can't feel you up. Never said anything about down.” He chuckled in my ear.

  I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to the stage. The smile on Chad's face made all my anxiety worth it. He played Dean's part much better and added embellishments here and there as well. Chris was amazing as well. He had the audience sing lines and riled them up when Dominic soloed.

  Phil suddenly moved, and I clutched the railing. I didn’t realize he held me up. He quickly guided me into the chair someone had set behind me. I sighed as the pressure was relieved.

  “Better?” Phil crouched next to me and laid a hand on my thigh.

  I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.” I leaned forward to see better.

  When it came time for the guitar solo of the “Devil’s Boy,” Chad mimicked Dominic, perfectly in sync. They both grinned. It soon turned into a dual of sorts. Dominic played a riff and Chad copied him. Then they switched. The crowd went wild and cheered for them both. After a while, they finished the song out and Dominic slapped Chad on the back. I wished I could read lips.

  The five of them melded better than I expected. The chemistry on stage was incredible. They don’t need me. I glanced down. I felt quite left out.

  “Damn!” Phil cried out when the intro to “Light It Up” had started. “It’s like they been playing together all their lives.”

  I nodded then glanced at Chad, who had the time of his life. “That’s Chad, my musical genius.”

  Phil crouched down and took my hand in his. “They’ll always need you—even if just for eye candy.” He winked and kissed my cheek. “I survived. And soon I’ll be on the new band’s crew. Jon said he’ll fit me in.”

  I sighed. He would understand. I had replaced him as Reckless’ guitarist many years ago. “Just feeling sorry for myself.”

  “It’s all gonna work out.”

  Gasoline closed the night out with “Reign of Fire.” It had been their first single off the new album and had gotten to the top ten the first day. Almost half the audience sang along, which was amazing for a new song. I wasn’t sure it was the best idea to create a new band anymore. Gasoline had been around for almost my entire life. How can they just let it go?

  We waited until the balcony had cleared before we headed back to the dressing room. Phil walked beside me as I hobbled along, with my crutch. Rick walked ahead of us and cleared the way. We made it to the room before anyone else. I dropped onto a couch and let out a loud exhale.

  “I’m exhausted.” I was not used to walking so much.

  Phil moved my crutch to the floor and sat next to me. “Next time, listen to me when I say we need to use a wheelchair.”

  “I don’t need one.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Woman, you are stubborn as hell.” He laughed loudly. “How’s the hip and your knee?”

  “Sore,” I admitted. “Worth seeing that show though. They kicked ass.”

  Phil threw an arm over my shoulders. “That they did.”

  The door opened and Chad walked in, with Dominic behind him. Chad shook his head. “Stop trying to give me a complex.”

  “Telling you how talented you are is giving you a complex?” Dominic asked and shook his head. “You don’t seem to understand. All these years, I been trying to get Dean to play like that… with me. You’re like my other half. I never thought I could find someone who could keep up like that. Do you know how much talent that takes? We been playing together for like 24 hours. It takes years to get that tight normally.”

  Chad shrugged. “You’re my idol. I copied your style when I started playing. Then I added in my own.”

  “And you think that means you’re not good enough?” Dominic threw his hands up. “Just like how you think you can’t sing?” He laughed. “Modest is an understatement.” He looked to me. “Tell him how incredible he is.”

  I smiled widely. “I tell him all the time.”

  “Not how good in bed he is,” Tommy chimed in as he approached us, chuckling. “Did you hear them tonight?”

  “Yes.” My eyes raked over Chad’s sweaty naked chest. “Was sexy as ever. My man’s the best at everything.” I licked my lips, dying to get home. Chad’s eyelids lowered. His face contorted with desire. “Everything.”

  Tommy moved closer to Chad. “I’m getting a better view this time. Spread her right there. Maybe let Phil hold her while you fuck her brains out.”

  “Good idea.” Chad stepped forward.

  Dominic put up a hand. “Hold it. The crew’ll start trickling in soon. Letting us watch is one thing. Some of those guys are strangers to her. You don’t wanna trigger anything.”

  “True.” Chad took a few deep breaths before he adjusted his hard-on. “Time to go then.”

  Jon laughed. “You can fuck her on the bus if you like.” He must have come in quietly. “But first I wanna talk to you guys.” He glanced around at the group. “Tonight proved we can do this.”

  “No.” My bottom lip quivered. “It proved you guys could do it. Doesn’t it make more sense to have Chad and Chris join Gasoline? Why bother making a new band. You guys are a household name.”

  With a look of despair, Jon uttered, “We need to start over to heal, all of us. The best way is leave it all behind.”

  Chapter 45

  I woke up to cramps two days later. It was still dark out, and Chad was out like a light. When it worsened, I carefully slipped out of his arms and headed for the bathroom. When I used the toilet, I found blood. Such relief came over me. I had never been so happy to start my period.

  When I finished up, I leaned against the closed bathroom door and closed my eyes. I couldn’t let Chad see how I felt. He had developed the habit to kiss my belly once in a while. Although he didn’t push to take a second pregnancy test, it was obvious he didn’t trust the negative one. I had no idea how to break the news to him.

  I quietly went back into the bedroom and put on panties, to deter him from sex. I looked at Chad. He had his arm across the place I had been and looked so handsome. I suddenly welled up with tears and touched my abdomen. He would be devastated.

  Slowly, I got myself together. Then the cramps returned, and I had to lie down. I still couldn’t climb on the bed easily, so I accidentally woke Chad.

  “Baby, you OK?” he mumbled as he helped me.

  I sighed as I lay down with my back to him. “Yeah, tired though.”

  His hand was quickly on my stomach. “Why’d you put underwear on?” He sleepily asked as he slid his hand under the fabric. “You know I like holding the baby.”

  “Just go back to sleep,” I told him as tears started to fall again. I waited until his body relaxed against me then I whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

  * * *

  “Baby, you feel a’right?” I opened my eyes. Chad stood over me, as he brushed the hair from my face. “It’s almost eleven, and you’re still in bed.”

  I took a deep breath. “Um, no. I don’t feel so great.”

  “Chad, I’ll be back in a few,” Chris shouted from somewhere. “I’ll pick up milk too. OK?”

  “Yeah,” Chad replied. Then he walked to the bedroom door. “Can you get her yogurt too?”

  I scowled. “I don’t like it.”

  “The doctor said you need it. So you’re gonna eat it!” Chad had been very pushy about my diet since the orthopedist told us my bones he
aled too slowly. Then he closed the door and came back to me. “Anyway, you gotta eat right for the baby.”

  Tears welled up again, and I turned my head away.

  “Baby, what is it?”

  I sniffled. “I don’t know how to tell you.”

  “Fine. I don’t have time for games. I got a lotta work to do.” He took the blanket down.

  “Wait!” I protested. I didn’t want him to just figure it out.

  He huffed. “You don’t wanna get washed today?”

  “Um, well.”

  He rolled his eyes and quickly stripped my panties off then picked me up. After I did my hair, he kissed my lips. “When can we tell people?” His hand slid over my abdomen. “I can’t wait.”

  “Chad…” I looked up at him. He needed to know, but I didn’t know what to say.

  Washcloth in hand, he picked up my good leg and froze in place. His expression suddenly changed, and tears ran down his cheeks. I closed my eyes. He saw I wore a tampon. He looked at me, completely grief stricken.

  “I’m sorry, Chad,” I uttered through my own tears.

  He closed his eyes and didn’t move for a long while.

  “Chad, I was trying to tell you.” I reached out and touched his arm, which he quickly yanked away from me. “I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

  Then he went back to washing me, silently. Tears continue to fall, but he showed no other emotion. I felt his heartbreak, but he couldn’t even look me in the eye. When he was done, he put clothes on the bed next to me and left the room with the door open.

  I lay there in tears and was sure he was as well. Suddenly, I heard a loud bang. Then Chad screamed. I got up and walked as quickly as I could toward the sound. I found a kitchen chair by the front door. Chad sat with his head on the table, as he sobbed.

  When I put my arms around him, he shrugged me off which almost forced the towel to fall off me. “Stop it!”

  “Chad, please.” I placed a hand on his back. He stood and walked into the living room. I held the towel closed and followed him. “Please talk to me about this. I’m sorry I’m not pregnant.”

  Then I heard the distinct sound of Chris’ Mustang pull into the driveway. Chad immediately grabbed his coat and disappeared into the garage. When the garage door opened then the Harley started up, I got nervous. He was in no condition to ride. Just as I peeked in the garage, he raced away without a helmet on. I was suddenly terrified I would lose him too.

  “Why did Chad just fly outta here like a bat outta hell?” Chris came in, with bags of groceries.

  I looked up at him. Tears still fell. “I guess we kinda had a fight.”

  He went to the kitchen and started to put away the milk and such. “What could you two have to fight about?”

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Is it Tommy?”

  “No.”

  “It’s not about me, is it?”

  “No, just something between us.”

  My head down, I walked back to the bedroom. I wasn’t sure how I would get dressed. The clothes Chad chose for me were on the bed. I knew I had to try. So I took the towel off. Then I leaned on the bed and put my panties on. Next, I grabbed the leggings and stuck my good leg in. I almost fell over but laid back to stop myself. When I tried to get my broken one in, I slid off the bed and my arm cast hit the floor with a loud thump.

  The bedroom door flew open. “You OK?”

  “I can’t do it.” I looked up at Chris, as I sniffled.

  He put me on the bed then shimmied my pants up. I continued to cry as he put my bra and shirt on. Then he hugged me. “He won’t be mad forever, Crystal.” He lifted my chin. “Did you eat yet?”

  “No. I’m not hungry.”

  He sighed. “Is that what you were fighting over? You don’t wanna eat again?”

  “No.” I turned away from him.

  “He wants you to heal. Come on.” He picked me up. “I bought frozen French toast. I’ll put bananas on it. OK?”

  I smiled and put my head on his shoulder. “Fine.” Chris knew how to bribe me with the little things.

  I soon had a plate of French toast with bananas and chocolate chips on top. Chris smiled as I took a bite. Then he handed me a glass of milk and a cup of banana yogurt. I smiled. He also paid attention to what I liked.

  When I finished my food—without complaint, Chris cleaned up while I sat on the couch to watch television. I didn’t know what else to do with myself. I still felt awful that Chad took it so hard.

  “He’ll be back,” Chris suddenly said as he sat next to me. Then he pulled me into his arms. “He loves you way too much to stay angry.”

  * * *

  Chad finally walked in the door about nine that night. He went right to the kitchen and opened his laptop, without a word. I sighed and leaned on Chris again, who had an arm around my shoulders. We watched the rest of the movie that was on. Then Chris helped me up, so I could go to bed.

  I stopped before we got to the hallway and looked at Chad. “Chris made dinner. There’s a plate in the refrigerator for you.”

  He glanced up at me. There were still tears in his eyes. Then he went back to work.

  “You need help undressing?” Chris asked as he lifted me up to the bed.

  I exhaled loudly. “Yeah. I can’t do anything myself.” I closed my eyes and tried not to cry again.

  “Hey.” Chris touched my cheek. “You can too. You’ve made a lot of progress. You can go to the bathroom yourself.”

  I looked at him. “Thank God! I’d be humiliated if you had to help me do that.”

  “You got your panties on this morning.” He smiled widely. “Not that I would’ve minded putting those on you.” He sighed quietly. “Sorry. Sometimes I can’t help but think about you riding me. It felt so good.”

  I lay back on the bed. “I’m sorry I did that to you.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” He pulled my pants off. “You were drunk and not yourself. I get that, but I wish we could do it again.”

  I started to feel uncomfortable. “Maybe I should just wait for Chad.”

  “Shit! I’m sorry.” He covered his face with his hands for a minute. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I promise I won’t act on it. I was just being stupid.” Then he helped me sit up and took my top off.

  “Um, I can get my bra off,” I lied, as I lay back down. “You can go now.”

  He frowned at me. “No you can’t. I won’t touch your tits. I swear.”

  “Please don’t.”

  “Damn, I fucked up. I’m sorry, Crystal, but I’m not Tommy. I’m not gonna try to seduce you every chance I get.”

  I did know that. “But you just said you want me.”

  “Tell me one guy who wouldn’t fuck you.” Chris put his hands on his hips and waited.

  I thought about it. “Dominic.”

  “I didn’t think of him.” Chris sighed. “OK, well besides ‘I’m a paramedic so I look at you like a patient’, who else is there? You know, even Mark wants to nail you.”

  There wasn’t anyone. He was right. “I don’t know.”

  “So, you thought I wanted to fuck you a long time ago, and it didn’t bother you until now when you need my help?”

  “It’s hard for me to need help, and you get to see at me naked sometimes.”

  “And tell me one time I took advantage of that.”

  “Never.”

  “See. I never touch your breasts or your pussy. I just help you with your clothes and carry you around. Right?”

  “Yeah.” I knew I lost.

  “OK, now turn over and let me open your bra.”

  I slowly did as I was told.

  “Do the scars hurt?” he asked as he unhooked it.

  I closed my eyes. The pain of Giovanni’s door as it ripped my back up, flashed by. “Not any more.” I sniffled when I saw him die in front of my eyes again.

  Chris gently turned me over and took my bra off before he hugged me. “I’m sorry. I keep fucking everyth
ing up.” He rubbed my back soothingly. “I didn’t wanna make you cry. I know the memories are still there. So sorry I brought it up.”

  Soon after, I was ready to lie down, in one of Giovanni’s T-shirts. “Chad’ll come around. He will.” Chris kissed my forehead. “I’ll talk to him and tell him how bad the silent treatment hurts.”

  I just nodded. Then I cleared my mind and focused on good memories. The one time Giovanni walked along the beach with me by Tommy’s place made me smile. The door closed quietly just before I faded into oblivion.

  * * *

  When my hips rose, it woke me. I opened my eyes, confused. Chad knelt on the bed naked. Then I lifted my arm and realized I was naked also.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he lay down on me. He kissed my lips several times. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” A few more kisses. “It just hurts so bad. I can’t explain it.” His cock rubbed my thigh and slowly grew to its full size as he held me and rained kisses all over my face. “I love you so much, baby.”

  “Chad, I’m bleeding.” I was more squeamish than he was about that.

  “Don’t care. I put a towel under you, and I need you.” A tear fell onto my neck. “I wanted this baby so much.” He moved his hips and easily slid his cock into me. “Can we try for a baby as soon as the doctor says it’s OK? Please?”

  “I don’t know, Chad.”

  “Please?” He leaned his head on mine and more tears splashed on my skin. “I wanna be a Dad.”

  I bit my lip and held back my own tears. “OK. We’ll see.”

  He exhaled loudly with relief and started to thrust slowly. I could feel his love and sadness in every stroke. “I’m gonna cum in you, baby. You can’t get pregnant today. I looked it up. I need to feel that again. It was so incredible.”