I danced seductively with Charlie, Jez and Jules, kissing and fondling all three of them, we didn’t have to hide what we were to each other as this behaviour was quite acceptable within these walls.
Jessica had started seeing Jen behind Jakes back; they would sneak off to Jens place when Jake was at work or out of town on a business trip. I knew that Jen was completely dominating their relationship and I feared for Jessica’s marriage falling into the realms of the divorce statistics. Avoiding Jen’s sly remarks was easy for me; I just pretended that she wasn’t there. But she did have her uses, I would get drops of information on Robbie’s whereabouts and so far I had become privy to knowing that she had her own little pad and was working for Kate as a personal assistant. She was still single which made my heart jump with joy and gave me that butterfly feeling in my stomach which always occurred when she kissed or touched me or even looked at me for that matter.
Charlie understood my need for information on Robbie and would see the sadness in my eyes when I was missing her. She would comfort me and we would talk about Robbie on numerous occasions; keeping her alive inside me, just until I was ready to let her go.
I held great respect for Charlie and I always knew when she had been with another girl; she would think that she had been discreet, but the tell tale signs always came through. She did offer to answer any questions that I had, but I declined as the need to know didn’t even enter my head. Jealousy had not played a part in this relationship. There was one occasion when I had gone to the loo in the club and I overheard a girl bragging to her friend that she had gone down on Charlie earlier that day, and that her stupid girlfriend was oblivious to it. I took pride in myself when I waited for them to come out of the cubicle and introduced myself to them as the stupid one, then exited without another word.
I wasn’t bothered that I had come face to face with one of Charlie’s conquests and I was quite flattered that she had chosen someone who looked similar to me.
We made a good team together as I didn’t put a ball and chain around her ankle and she had the freedom to shag whoever she wanted, because deep down we both knew that neither one of us could give our whole heart to each other. Charlie was yet to find that special person and my heart still belonged to another.
The Christmas season was upon us and my parents as usual, wanted me to spend the holidays with them. But I wanted to spend the festivities with Charlie and the girls. It was hard to say no to my Parents, so I compromised and invited Charlie to come with me. I warned her that it was going to be boring and that my parents had no idea about my lifestyle.
Charlie drove us to my parent’s house in Bristol, and we made the journey fun by telling corny jokes and attempting to sing songs that we hardly knew the words to. It was dark and beginning to snow when we arrived and as we pulled up in the driveway we beeped the horn several times rather loudly. My parents came running out to greet us and I received a massive warm reception from them both.
“Mum dad, this is Charlie.” We fuck get over it; was what I wanted to say.
“Hello Charlie it’s so nice to meet you dear.” They said giving her a welcoming hug. “Now come in girls we’re getting wet from the snow. Where on earth are your jackets? Really you young things just don’t know how to look after yourselves.”
I looked at Charlie and we sniggered like naughty school children. We plonked our bags in my old room where my parents had set up a second bed next to mine for Charlie to sleep in; little did they know that we were lovers.
Dinner was served and the table was filled with chicken pie and vegetables grown fresh in the garden. Dad opened a bottle of Asti Spumante, mums favourite, and we enjoyed catching up on how things were going with the shop, and how dad had grown this year’s vegetable crop quite successfully. Polite questions were put to Charlie, so as to make her feel comfortable in the Niles house of fun.
We retreated into the lounge where the fireplace was filled with burning logs and gave an orange ambience to the room which created a cozy atmosphere, and chocolates had been placed in a small glass bowl next to my favourite chair. My mother always knew how to make me feel special.
“Well girls.” My mother announced. “Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and there are lots of things for us to do, so we’re off to bed now. Good night darling, goodnight Charlie, and don’t forget to turn the TV off when you come up.”
“Ok we won’t.” I said; rolling my eyes as if I was ten.
“Night Mr N, Mrs N.” Charlie said with a touch of humour.
With the orange glow giving it a romantic feel, we snuggled down together on the sofa and watched the embers of the fire slowly turn to ash and then drifted off to sleep.
My father was the first one to come down the stairs the next morning, and thank god he went straight into the kitchen. I had placed my hand underneath Charlie’s top whilst we slept and it was all too obvious what I was feeling. We quickly shot up and turned the TV off and ran to the stairs, being very careful to be quiet. Mum was just coming out of the bathroom so we turned around and pretended that we had just got up by yawning and stretching our arms out and making our voices still sound sleepy.
We went into the kitchen and joined my father for coffee where we were soon joined by my mother who was in a really cheery mood and looked as though she was dressed ready to go out.
“Well girls.” She said with a beaming smile, would you like to come shopping with me today? It would be rather handy if Charlie drove us, just so your father can get on with things here.”
“Sure mum, I suppose you’re waiting to go now.” It was the coat and hat in her arms that gave me a clue.
We went into Bristol city centre, where mum had to show Charlie the Cathedral and give her a tour of some of the ancient buildings that were still standing, and even the church, or what was left of it, where my Grandparents had got married in, but it had been destroyed during the war leaving behind just a fraction of its once glorious status.
After shopping for many gifts, we ended up in a small pub by the harbour for lunch. I recognised the girl that served us, as I went to school with her. She was an outed lesbian and when she saw me with Charlie she just knew what I was up to and winked at me. My mother questioned me on why she would do such a thing, so I just passed it off as a friendly gesture. God my parents would have heart failure if they knew their little princess was a slut for pussy.
Evening came and we all placed our gifts under the tree. Apparently my parents had invited some of their friends, including their sons may I add, over for drinks.
The house was filled with the sound of people enjoying their conversations, and chinking their glasses in making toasts to several achievements of the past year. My mother spent most of the evening passing round the sandwiches and crisps, and introducing me and Charlie to several young men in hopes that we might choose one to settle down with; in her wildest dreams.
Though the chat up lines were really lame, we had a lot of fun listening to them and when I told one guy that we were lesbians he asked if he could watch. The answer he got in reply was a subtle; piss off. Charlie and I were definitely the outsiders in this crowd.
Just before midnight we were waving good bye at the door to the last guests to leave and feeling quite merry we all decided to call it a night.
“Would you like your gift now Sarah?” Charlie asked with a huge smile on her face.
“Really can I? I mean, yes.” I answered in a flurry.
I opened a long pink velvet box, and wrapped inside pink shredded tissue was a long pink silicone shape. I looked at Charlie questioningly, and then she pulled out her harness from a bag on the floor and said; “I’m hoping you’ll say yes.”
I had denied her the pleasure that she deserved for far too long, so I allowed her to fit it on me, and I could see the thrilled look on her face as she did so. It was awkward at first and I felt a little stupid, but as we got into the rhythm of it, I started to get more confident at what I was doing, and Charlie had to bury her head in the pillow so my p
arents couldn’t hear her groans of pleasure.
We were at it for hours, and I gained great satisfaction in giving Charlie a good time. The stigma of believing that I was cheating on Robbie no longer existed, and for the first time I was able to let my guard down.
We only managed to get three hours of sleep as my parents were making busy noises downstairs putting the turkey on and phoning everyone, wishing them a merry Christmas. We sneaked into the shower together and as we got over playful and a little noisy, my mother knocked on the bathroom door and asked if everything was alright.
“Yes mum, be down soon promise.” I called back to her over the noise of the shower water running.
“Ok sweetheart, prezzies are waiting for you.” She replied merrily.
When she had left we wrapped ourselves in towels and ran quickly to my room before she sussed anything was up.
“That was fucking close.” I said as I tried to dry myself as fast as I could.
“Will you ever come out to them?” Charlie asked as she patted my back down with her towel.
I gave it some thought for a short moment and answered; “I don’t really know how they would take it, I’m not sure if they should know about my sexual preferences. We’ve never actually had any sort of conversation about gays and lesbians; anyway here I have a gift for you.” I changed the subject quickly as I was uncomfortable about the thought of my parents knowing about my carnal knowledge.
I had bought her a white gold dog tag pendant and chain and had it inscribed with; for keeping me safe. It was a tender felt moment between us and I knew that our friendship was going to last forever.
We went down stairs and a greeting of merry Christmas and glasses of champagne were waiting for us. Gifts were exchanged; I had bought my parents an antique clock to hang on the wall in the hallway. This went down well as they had it on their, to buy list. I received a gold watch and a matching necklace with a heart shaped diamond hanging from it. Charlie got a pink fleecy jumper and a silver bracelet with tiny diamantes over it.
She thanked them quite gracefully out of respect, but pink definitely wasn’t in Charlie’s nature and I knew she hated it on herself. We enjoyed the rest of the day together, eating plenty of festive food and filled up on the finest Belgian chocolates.
During the afternoon my mother asked Charlie if there was a man in her life. There was hesitation in her answer, and then she informed my mother that she had never had a boyfriend. My mother thought this was odd and commented on how beautiful she was and that men must surely be falling at her feet.
“I’ve never been interested in boys to be honest Mrs N.” She said and then winked at me.
I stared at Charlie as if to say don’t give any more information, and tapped her foot with mine as I asked her to pass me the chocolates. My annoyance began to show and I tried to shove the sweets into her mouth to shut her up.
“So do you always wear boots like that Charlie.” My mother asked staring at her footwear.
“Oh yes I love my boots Mrs N, I have a couple of pairs like these.”
“Don’t they hurt your feet dear? Maybe you should get some shoes like Sarah’s, that’ll help you catch a boy I’m sure. And Sarah, should I ask if there’s such a thing as a boyfriend your life. You never seem to introduce us to any of them.” Shit now I was on the spot.
I could feel myself going red with embarrassment as I wanted to tell them, but it was the hardest thing to find the right words to say. So I lied.
“No mum I have no time for men at all, I mean being busy with the shop and everything.” My fingers were crossed behind my back; a habit I had as a child whenever I told a fib to my parents.
Charlie gave a small laugh and then put her arms around my waist just before she kissed me on my cheek and said. “Sarah maybe it would be a good idea if you just tell them the truth and get it out in the open once and for all.”
“No I can’t Charlie!” I snapped at her annoyed that she was so pushy. “I just can’t, they won’t understand, it’s not right.”
“Just say it sunshine.” She whispered in my ear.
So I just blurted it out. “I’m a lesbian, and so is Charlie.”
My mother’s jaw dropped in shock, and I could see the stunned look on both of their faces.
“I’m with Charlie, we’re together; you know a couple. We’re an item.” I stammered as I struggled to get the right words to come out of my mouth.
My father put his arm around my mother to comfort her as her voice went into high pitch mode as she screeched. “You’re gay? You’re both gay? But how did this happen and grandchildren what about grandchildren?”
“Mum listen, I’ve never wanted children. I...I...Charlie help me.”
Charlie took control of the conversation, and in a calm sympathetic voice made her speech; “I think what Sarah’s trying to say is that for a long time she was miserable and now she’s not.”
“Is that it?” I was surprised at the lack of defending on my behalf. “I thought you would have had more to say than that Charlie. I think what Charlie’s trying to say, or rather, I am, is that…”
I grabbed Charlie’s hand and pulled her in towards me, giving her a great big wet kiss on the lips, and then as I pulled away from her I looked at my parents and said. “This is what I want!”
My parents stood in shock, with not much to say, apart from my mother stating that she needed another drink.
I pleaded my case so they could see my side and not be prejudice. “I’m still the same person that you’ve always loved, and I hope you still do. I’m not going to live my life any other way; it’s proved to me that it just doesn’t work for me.”
“Well I must be honest with you girls.” My father said softly. “We’re not disappointed in you at all, either of you. We just don’t know how we’re supposed to respond to all of this information.”
Charlie squeezed my hand tightly and said. “You had better tell them the rest sunshine.”
I got them to sit down and poured more wine into my mother’s glass so she could absorb the shock of what I was about to say. I informed them that I had got married in the spring, to a total stranger, who happened to be a woman from Canada. Then I fell in love with her, then we broke up because of another woman, and soon we can apply to get divorced. As I summed my life up, I could hear how stupid it all sounded, but I had to tell them everything.
“Is this why you were in such a state when we came over dear?” It had suddenly dawned on my mother the reasoning for my depression and why she was unable to help me at that time in my life.
“Yes mum, I really couldn’t tell you at the time, you do understand don’t you?”
“So what’s this woman’s name?” My father asked and he didn’t look too impressed with the way that I had been treated by her either. After all was it not me who had saved her ass when she needed the help.
“Her name is Robbie.” I said, still getting emotional at the sound of it.
Charlie passed me a tissue and comforted me by stroking my back with gentle circular movements. The thought quickly ran through my mind of wondering where she had spent Christmas, maybe she went to Kate’s.
“So we have a daughter in law now.” My mother pointed out. “Is that everything? Or are there anymore secrets you need to tell us about?”
“I’m not pregnant if that’s a bonus.” I joked trying to lift the atmosphere.
My parents left the room and went into the kitchen to do the washing up. Really they wanted to be alone so that they could discuss my situation.
“Well I think they handled that really well.” Charlie said quite proud of herself.
“I know! I can’t believe I’ve told them everything.” A surge of relief ran through me and I felt like life was treating me to an extra Christmas present this year.
“I’m pleased for you sunshine, you don’t have to hide your emotions around them anymore. Now I’m still in shock that I’m wearing pink, I feel like such a dork.”
We finished the day by sending all of our friends text messages, wishing them a happy crimbo, and I also sent one to Kate and included Robbie’s name in the merriment. I had a secret wish that she would text me back, but for now I focused my thoughts on what I had.
When my parents returned from the kitchen, they had been discussing all the gay people they knew of and relayed their names back to us. It was interesting to know that they had paid such attention to non heterosexual relationships. I had no idea that my parents really were cool trendy people.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: A FAVOUR FOR ROBBIE
The next morning we ate breakfast with my parents, and their acceptance on my life style was pleasing to see.
We chatted and laughed for a while and then it was time to make our way back to London. My mother would always get upset when I left, so I liked to keep my goodbyes short with her. She filled a box with festive goodies for us to eat on our journey home and as we drove off the tears were spilling down her cheeks.
“Your parents are so cool.” Charlie remarked as we drove off. “I can’t believe they didn’t freak out.”
I had images of them sitting on the sofa sipping tea and saying well the signs were there, and I already knew it.
As Charlie was driving, I placed my hand on her leg in appreciation and said in a humble manor. “Thank you Charlie, for being there for me I mean. So what about your parents? Do you see much of them?” She had never mentioned her family and I felt like such a shit for never asking her about her background.
“No I don’t they turned their backs on me when I came out, my friends are my family now.” She kept her eyes focused on the road and didn’t look fazed by the conversation.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said feeling quite sad for her. “Maybe they’ll come round to the idea in time.”
“It’s been years sunshine, I think the path they’re on is leading in a different direction to mine. It’s ok; I came to terms with that a long time ago.”
I felt really pissed off at this news and stuck my head out of the car window and shouted out. “Why the fuck can’t people just come to terms with the fact that there are feelings being hurt when they refuse to accept another human beings way of life.” At least it entertained Charlie.
Loving the Pink Kiss Page 10
