Outside

by Michelle Mankin

  “Yeah, he sounds hot, too. Did you hear the interview?” The blonde with her nodded vigorously like a bobble head doll while rearranging her bustier to show more cleavage. “He’s totally unattached. Said so. Several times.”

  My heart stopped. He did what? Surely she had gotten something wrong. Maybe she had gotten Linc confused with Ramon.

  “I just talked to one of the guys in the band.” Another brunette pushed into the group dressed sluttier than the other two. The alcohol fumes coming off her nearly made me gag into my diet coke. “Hispanic guy. Pretty cute. Said he’d let us backstage to hang with them if I show him my tits.”

  I closed my eyes. Holy shit.

  “I got dibs on the lead singer,” Blonde Cleavage Girl insisted.

  I started to shake and was leaning in so far to hear them that I lost my balance and one of their drinks slopped all over my only pair of high heels, my fake silk blouse and studded shorts.

  “You ok?” the brunette in the fishnet asked me.

  I nodded numbly backing away, pushing through the crowd and not breathing easily again until I reached the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall.

  Calm down, Simone. It’s just typical rock band stuff. You wanna be with a guy as handsome as Lincoln? Then you’re just gonna have to get used to the lifestyle. Besides you can’t always believe everything you hear.

  After my internal pep talk, I splashed water on my face in an effort to regain my composure and went back outside pushing to get close to the corner stage again so I could resume taking pictures of the guys with the camera Ash had taught me to operate. Linc smiled at me when he saw one of the flashes. I smiled back burying the trepidation the girls had caused until it resurfaced again backstage after the concert.

  Scantily dressed girls draped themselves over the guys who were left looking a little befuddled by all the attention. A local television station was talking to Linc about the radio segment and his surfing career. The bright video camera spotlight made his handsome blue eyes shine. I tensed when the blonde from earlier crawled into his lap and passed him a beer like she had a right to. I waited and waited and watched but he didn’t push her aside, as the pretty red headed professionally dressed reporter continued to pepper him with questions.

  When Linc flashed her his flirty smile, the one that showed off his dimple, my stomach didn’t flip the way it usually did, it churned on the diet coke within it.

  I tried to remind myself that Lincoln had made love to me just last night. That I had woken up to his arms around me just this morning. But it didn’t help. I still felt sick. I had to leave. Now. I spun around and ran straight into Ash.

  “Whoa,” he said stopping me, his platinum hair still damp with sweat from the stage, fingers calloused from years of drumming curling around my upper arms. “Where are you going? It’s not safe for you to wander around by yourself in all this craziness.” He frowned as he continued to study me. “What’s wrong? Why are you so upset?”

  My eyes drifted back across the room. His followed. His lips formed an ‘o’ of surprise before he tried to placate me. “He’s just playing up the sex appeal for show, Simone. The seductive angle is part of the sales pitch. He’s with you. As soon as the interview is through I’m sure he’ll take you back to the motel himself.”

  “Take me now, Ash. Please,” I pleaded. “I hear what you’re saying but I don’t feel good. For real.”

  “Sure. Ok.” His face softened. “This all kind of just blew up overnight, didn’t it? I’m sure we’ll all get acclimated. It’s just going to take a little time.” Putting his hand on the small of my back he moved in close behind me and led me from the room. “It’s kind of exciting though, don’t you think? In my wildest imagination I never dreamed we would get attention like this.”

  Exciting was not the word I would have used. More like bad or really horrible.

  But I kept silent and was grateful for Ash, grateful for the ride he gave me back to the motel.

  After some crackers and a Sprite from the vending machine, a lot of fretting and a couple of hours of bad sitcoms, I eventually fell asleep. I startled awake when the bed dipped and I heard a vaguely familiar feminine voice.

  “Hey there’s somebody already in your bed,” Blonde Cleavage Girl whined as I opened my eyes.

  I moved my hair out of my face and scooted toward the middle of the mattress.

  “Yeah, it’s my girlfriend,” Linc slurred sitting down beside me and patting my head like I was his puppy. My entire body went tense but he didn’t seem to notice.

  “I thought I was your girlfriend.” Boobs bouncing that I wondered if Linc had already seen, she put her hands on her overly ample hips.

  “Nope.” His hair messy and his eyes glazed Linc shook his head. “Never. I just needed the ride to the hotel since my cousin took off with the van and some guy to…” Expression blanking he trailed off. “I don’t remember.” His level of intoxication reminded me of my mother after she had chugged down a bottle of wine. I had never seen him this drunk. Never seen him drunk at all actually. What was going on with him?

  “Get out of my room.” I climbed out of the bed and took control of the situation grabbing the skank’s arm and dragging her to the door.

  “Hey.” She dug in her stilettoes trying to stop me. “Aren’t you going to tell her to let me stay…Mr., um…” She was having as many memory problems as he was.

  “Nope,” Linc said swaying as he got to his feet. “Thanks for the booze, Sugar. But,” he smiled and it was a sad pale imitation of the real thing, “this is the only woman for me. My Simone. My sweet, sweet Simone. Oh, shit.” He added reaching up to cover his mouth a split second too late. He emptied the entire contents of his stomach all over the floor.

  After I kicked the skank out, cleaned up the mess, got Linc to bed and myself a shower, the guys stumbled in looking only slightly better than Linc had.

  “Oh hell no,” I said shaking my finger at them. “Don’t you dare. If you’re gonna be sick go in the bathroom and sleep in the tub. I’m not cleaning up after anybody else.”

  I don’t know if Dominic and Ramon actually heard me. They were leaning heavily on each other and their eyes were unfocused. I gave it less than two minutes before they both passed out. Ash heard me though and he was the only one who had the decency to look embarrassed. So I laid into him. “You guys are gonna self-destruct before you ever get a chance to make it if you act like this after only putting together two decent shows. No one wants to pay good money to see a bunch of losers stumble around on stage drunk or hungover no matter how good looking they are.”

  “You’re right, Simone. Absolutely right.” He crooked his finger. “We’re all lucky to have you looking after us. Come here.” He reminded me of Lincoln for a moment even though they didn’t look at all alike. I crossed to his side of the room and he pulled me into him hugging me tight. He glanced at Linc who was totally out of it sprawled perpendicular across the bed. “I’m sorry you had a tough night. You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the floor.”

  We were all moving like sunglass wearing slugs the next morning except for Simone who incidentally was still not speaking to me. Not that I blamed her.

  My perfect goddess. I’d screwed up majorly with her last night. I told her repeatedly that I hadn’t slept with that girl. Why would I want to sleep with anyone else when I had her?

  I had just taken the celebration a little too far. We had made over five hundred dollars to add to the two hundred from the previous gig. And after the television thing aired we might make even more at the next stop. The money and all the attention was validation to me that I desperately needed. That the band really might make it and that my worries about taking care of Simone might be over.

  I hadn’t told her or anyone else also about the pain in my leg after the performance, an infirmity I despised and a reminder of everything I had lost. It had been throbbing like hell by the time we had exited the stage. I had no more pain pills so when the blonde had passed
me the booze I had chugged it looking for relief.

  I was paying for my ill-advised self-medication.

  In more ways than one.

  I had learned my lesson. I would sit on the stool tonight and I would keep Simone close as soon as I got her to speak to me again.

  I put my aching head in my hands. “Got any Advil?” I asked Dominic.

  On the bench seat beside me he focused his polarized lenses my way but hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “Ask Ramon. I gave him the bottle before we checked out of the motel this morning.”

  Turning my head gingerly, I looked in the back. Ramon was with the gear leaning against Ash’s snare case and was holding a chilled water bottle to his pain creased forehead. He looked as bad as I felt. Without me having to ask he tossed me the bottle. I caught it, shook out a few caplets and choked them down.

  I leaned my head against the window trying not to wince as the van lurched at each stop light. Simone and Ash were in the front and I heard them singing the lyrics to the tune the two of them had been working on at Patch’s house back in OB. I certainly didn’t like it that they were harmonizing together but I didn’t have the energy or the right to complain after the way I had acted last night.

  Feeling raw and regretful I zoned out for a bit. When I finally started to get some relief from the pounding inside my brain I refocused on my cousin and my girl just in time to hear her sweet laughter. I cracked open my red rimmed eyes only to immediately narrow them.

  Simone giggled again turning her head giving me a glimpse of her pretty profile and gifted a smile to Ash. Feelings of insecurity resurfaced and my guts churned, not from nausea now but from red hot jealousy. She was sitting entirely too close to him and they had been way too chummy all morning, the entire trip even.

  “Yes he did.” Ash flashed her a grin paying too little attention to the road and too much attention to her. “Looked like a lovelorn little puppy. I think he fell for you after that first time you met him on the beach.”

  Was he sharing confidences with Simone? I hadn’t been paying enough attention to their conversation. I gritted my teeth trying not to rise to the bait I think he was purposefully dangling. “Ok you guys. Yuck it up. Go ahead and have fun at my expense while I’m dying back here.”

  “Serves you right,” Ash said soberly. I knew he was saying a lot of things with just those three words. Our sunglassed gazes clashed in the rearview mirror.

  “I am aware.” I would have given him the one fingered salute but it would still hurt too much to move. After a lingering glance at Simone’s stiff shoulders and pretty profile annoyingly tipped toward Ash, I closed my eyes. I vowed once more to steer clear of Jim Beam and all his kin while determining to have another talk with Simone as soon as we reached the next stop.

  We arrived at the Best Western in Huntington Beach just after taking lunch at a diner back up the road. Simone’s orgasmic sounding moans as she’d eaten the deliciously crispy fries and slurped on her shake while sitting too far across the table from me had nearly driven me insane.

  The guys grabbed their boards to go to the beach across the street as soon as we parked. The fact that I couldn’t join them didn’t really bother me as much as it had previously. Right now I had a more pressing concern. I needed to make things right with her.

  “Simone.” I touched her arm softly and she jumped. Why was she so keyed up? What had she been thinking about standing beside the van with that faraway almost lost look in her eyes? “Stay at the motel. Talk to me.” Looking like that was the last thing she wanted to do, which hurt my heart, she glanced in the guys’ direction one more time before nodding.

  I could feel Ash’s gaze lingering on us but at the moment I didn’t care. She was my priority but later he and I were going to have words. He was getting entirely too friendly with my girl.

  Inside the indoor outdoor green carpeted motel room Simone flopped into the desk chair and fiddled with a laminated pizza takeout menu while continuing to avoid my gaze.

  “What can I do to make things right between us?” I asked kneeling in front of her and peering up at her. “Name it, babe, and I’ll do it.”

  “It’s not that simple, Linc.” Her hurt filled eyes focused on me. “I’m wondering now if I should have ever come on this trip in the first place. Since the boat everything seems to keep going wrong for us.” Her lips trembled and I felt regret churning in my gut even worse than it had before. “Maybe we should take the hint and call it quits before we hurt each other any worse than we already have.” She meant before I hurt her any more than I already had. When had she ever done anything wrong?

  But I was done screwing things up with her. I wanted to run away with her and our problems leaving the past and all its problems. But I knew I needed to stay and fix things in the here and now. So I compromised with myself, scooped her out of the chair and carried her to the bed pinning her beneath my body instead.

  “Linc, don’t,” she protested though her eyes darkened the way I was sure my own had as soon as I had her soft curves beneath me.

  “Yes, Mona.” I smoothed her silky hair back from her pretty face. “This. You and me. This is right. Perfect in fact. You just need a reminder.”

  “Not perfect. No relationship is perfect. You put me too high on a pedestal.” She looked away. “Sometimes I don’t think you keep things in perspective. And then we get into trouble because you think you don’t measure up. It’s just me, Linc. Accept my love. Leave the rest of the world and their expectations outside. Let’s just be together. Like it was before everything went wrong.” Her eyes when she slid them back to me held a glassy sheen and were no longer filled with passion the way I wanted them to be.

  “I love you, Linc. I really do. I wish you would take it to heart.” She framed my face with both hands fingers gliding over my features as if memorizing them…as if she were saying goodbye.

  I didn’t heed the subtle warnings. I didn’t hear the deeper meaning in her words though I remembered everything later when I had nothing left but time to analyze my mistakes. I just wanted to make her mine again and immediately set out to do just that.

  Peeling her tank over her head, asking her to lift up so I could unclasp her bra, tracing her breasts and teasing her by not touching the nipples until she begged me to, then sucking on them so hard she gasped and arched her back off the bed.

  “Yeah, babe. Just like that,” I praised, rewarding her and myself with languid swirls around her rosy nipples and harder licks across the peaks that made her moan and me groan as my dick jumped in approval.

  She was wrong. She was perfect. An erotic goddess. I couldn’t look at her let alone touch her without falling under her spell.

  Eyes heavy lidded, her hands under my shirt, her soft fingers sliding over my skin. I wiggled to help her remove it.

  Lowering my head I feasted on her lush cherry glossed mouth licking between the seam and plunging my tongue between to take possession slanting my head one way and then the other until she writhed beneath me.

  “Linc,” she whispered when I switched angles her fingers laced deeply within my hair. “Linc. I love you.”

  I showed her I loved her too by sucking on her tits again. Hard and deep. No more gentleness. Just raw and rough passion until her breasts were completely red and her body was shuddering with the force of her need.

  Perfect, I decided though she denied it.

  “Shorts and everything off,” I ordered easing off the bed to quickly remove and fling aside my shorts and boxers. She had the comforter kicked aside, was naked and reaching for me with her shapely arms before I could get my knee back to the mattress.

  I complied with her beautiful unspoken request eagerly taking her lips again fusing my mouth to hers coaxing her to open wider and take my tongue deeper the way I planned to give her my cock soon.

  “Mona,” I bathed her kiss swollen parted lips with her name then the column of her neck as I moved down it. Her hands moved restlessly across my shoulders and kneaded
muscles that bunched beneath the strain of holding back. I desperately wanted to be inside her, the two of us moving together in unison.

  But not yet. My goal was to make this perfect for her.

  I went back to her tits lapping the breast bone in between and nipping the puckered peaks until she reached down between our slickened bodies and grabbed my cock.

  “You ready for me, babe?” I queried in a low more beast than man rumble.

  “Yes.” She peered up at me from beneath her lowered lashes. So seductive.

  “Good. I’m ready for you, too, gorgeous.” I was always ready for her.

  Her hands covered mine as I caressed the soft skin of her inner thighs and gently parted them wider. She kept her heavy lidded eyes on mine as I positioned. She moaned as I sank my cock inside her until I was buried to the hilt.

  “You feel so good,” I told her. “So right. No place in the entire world I would rather be than here with you like this.”

  Her hands moved to my ass. Her eyes fluttered closed as I started to move but even without the visual reference within them her ecstatic expression confirmed that she felt exactly the same way as I did.

  There was no denying anything. No mistakes. No past. Just the present reality as we moved together. Her hips lifting to deepen my thrusts. Her moans making my rhythm even more frenzied. Her fingernails scoring my ass to urge me on.

  And then the hot implosion that started at the base of my spine. My cock stiffened and sublime pleasure hit me greater than any other high I had ever experienced. She made me feel better than anything in the world. Worthy. Valued. Loved. Better than I used to feel when on my board maxing out on a tube in a competition. Insecurities. Shortcomings. Doubts. They were silenced when I had her in my arms, when we were joined together like this. She was it. She was the one. She would always be the one.

  I hid my tear soaked cheeks in his neck. It had been so beautiful, every caress, every heated glance, each touch until the culmination proving his love.