by Donna Fasano
The moonlight reflected on the water in a long, wavering trail of brightness against the satiny night. The frogs croaked an erratic song and the pussy willows were nearly motionless in the calm summer air.
"It's beautiful," she whispered, unwilling to have her voice spoil this perfect setting.
"I agree." Joshua clasped his hand over hers. "I wanted to build a house out here..."
The way he'd let the sentence go unfinished sparked her curiosity and she asked, "Why didn't you?"
He gave her a sidelong glance. "I'd rather not say. You'll laugh at me."
Now she was really interested, urging him to confide in her by giving his arm a little squeeze. "Oh, come on," she coaxed.
Then he said, "Elizabeth thought it wasn't a logical thing to do. We were settled in a house, why upset everyone's routine only to move just five miles up the road?"
He waited for her to chuckle, and when she didn't, he did.
"Since I've spent time with you," he said, "I've noticed just how ordered and rational my existence has been."
Cassie didn't laugh because it struck her as kind of melancholic that he might have given up something he truly wanted rather than upset his family– mainly his wife. Still, she didn't want him to feel regret about how he'd lived his life.
"Order and rationality aren't terrible things," she acknowledged.
"Yes, but if you choose reason and logic, then you can't have excitement and spontaneity. You end up living a life that's very ordered but... pretty damned dull."
She stopped in her tracks and looked up at him. "Joshua, that sounds so sad."
"But that's what I like about you," he said. "You do the unexpected. You're impulsive. You're fun-loving."
She bristled a little at his description. "You make me sound like an airhead."
"No, no, no," he hurried to say. "That's not what I meant at all. Here, sit down a minute." He led her to a huge, ancient fallen tree, years of use as a bench having smoothed the surface to a satiny finish. He slid out of his jacket and draped it over the tree for her to sit on.
Even though she felt affronted by his words, she couldn't help but notice his gallant behavior. Arranging for her to sit on his jacket so she wouldn't get her skirt dirty was a small gesture, but Cassie had never had someone about whom she felt so strongly treat her with so much consideration. And he did it without giving it much thought.
He settled beside her, straddling the log. "What I meant was," he said, "you're so capable, so competent, yet at the same time you're full of spirit." He laughed softly." I mean, who else but you would climb a tree in your Sunday best right before a job interview?"
He did have a point, she had to admit. Giving him a wry grin, she remarked, "But I did have a logical reason for doing so."
His fingers slid up the curve of her neck and he gazed into her eyes. "You certainly did," he whispered.
As he searched her face, she was overwhelmed by the emotions clamoring deep in the pit of her belly. His touch ignited her desire to a whole new level. He was going to kiss her, she just knew it. Dear God, she hoped he was going to kiss her.
"I like you, Cassie Simmons," he whispered. "I like you a lot." The husky quality of his voice and the light skimming of his fingers sent sexy shivers coursing down her arms.
"I like you, too," she murmured.
They moved closer to one another, and finally surrendered to the powerful magnetic attraction that had been beguiling both of them ever since the first time they'd met.
His lips were warm, smooth and deliciously moist when they touched hers. Brushed would have been a better description, because she'd barely tasted them before she heard his almost painful exhalation and felt him pull her against him in a hug.
"You feel so good in my arms," he breathed against her ear, smoothing his hands over her back. "You smell so good. Like summer wildflowers."
He pressed his lips on the tender skin behind her ear and slowly, deliberately, moved down her neck. His hot, light kisses left little seared spots in their wake. Please, please don't stop, she wanted to whisper, but she got lost in the lusciousness of his lips on her skin before she could actually utter the words. Cassie thought she'd die from the heat, but found herself tilting her head to the side to offer him more of her flesh to kiss. And he did– to the point where she found herself holding back a desire-induced moan.
She felt his thumb graze the tender underside of her breast. Her breath snagged in her throat when her nipples drew into tight buds of yearning. She parted her lips, gulped in air and slid her hands up over his arms and shoulders, holding on for dear life. Were it possible, she'd have melted right into him.
He may think her capable, or adept, or whatever adjectives he'd used– her passion-dazed brain couldn't remember exactly– but right now she wanted to toss away every trace of logic and act on every spontaneous sexual fantasy she'd ever conjured about him. Then the blood pounding in her ears drowned out all thought, and she did act.
Catching his hand in hers, she guided it up to cup her breast. The instant the fleshy part of his palm made contact with her hard nipple, she groaned from the sheer pleasure it gave her. His sharp intake of breath did nothing to deter her, it only spurred her on. Instinctively, she grinded her hips against the tree trunk she sat on. It was a tiny motion, and even as she experienced an instant of bliss, the need for something more became almost overwhelming.
"Cassie." Her name came from him in a ragged rush.
She reached up and framed his face between her palms. After gazing at him for one hot, frantic moment, she pulled his mouth to hers.
The intimate contact scorched her lips and she welcomed the fire. Simultaneously, his thumb trailed across her breast and she parted her lips in an invitation for him to deepen the kiss.
His tongue plundered the soft recesses of her mouth and she greeted him happily, wantonly. She slid one hand down his chest, over the flat of his stomach, his belt buckle, until she felt the hardness of him against her palm. She delighted in thinking that the only thing between them was a couple of thin layers of fabric. A thought filtered through her hazy mind; she should feel ashamed of her behavior, but she didn't. This only felt... right.
She lifted both her hands, sliding her fingers through his thick, wavy hair and entwining them at the back of his head. She didn't want this to end, she didn't want him to escape.
When she took his bottom lip between her teeth, he groaned, and Cassie felt excitement and pleasure burst through her knowing she'd caused this reaction in him.
His hand slipped down to her waist and he pulled her against him tightly. The hard length of his desire pressed against her hip, and he slid his hand under the hem of her blouse. The moment his fingers touched her bare torso, rational thought began to return.
She pulled back, her eyelids heavy, her breath coming in pants.
Joshua's fingers went still on her stomach, and then they were replaced by the cool evening air.
He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her swollen lips. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I shouldn't have let things get so far. But I couldn't help myself. I needed you to understand how you affect me."
Mortification flooded her and she tried to avert her gaze, but he refused to let her. He tilted her chin up and looked directly into her eyes.
"Don't be embarrassed, Cassie," he pleaded. "I enjoyed this just as much as you." A soft chuckle emanated from deep in his throat. "Probably more than you."
She shook her head dolefully. "I'm not so sure."
He laughed again and she was able to smile.
On a whim, she whispered, "Can't we just skip the party?"
The expression on his face told her he'd like nothing better. "The Dean's expecting me," he told her.
Cassie sighed. "I guess we'd better get to that party."
She felt as if she floated all the way back to the car.
Chapter Eight
Cassie arrived at the party on Joshua's arm, enveloped in a hazy ecstasy that made her
feel like a princess in some enchanted fairytale.
Nathan Melrath, the host of the party, welcomed her warmly. And as he and Joshua exchanged greetings, Cassie took a moment to scan the room.
The house had an open, airy feel. She could see the formal living and dining rooms from where she stood. The patio door on the far wall had been left open and several people were out on a redwood deck. A slow, sensuous jazz tune softly filled in the background of several simultaneous and boisterous conversations of a dozen or so smartly dressed men and women. Ice tinkling against crystal glasses, spurts of laughter, and the intriguing smell of hors d'oeuvres were clear evidence that a successful social gathering was well under way.
The first hairline fissure in Cassie's euphoric facade came with the introductions. Don, Carol, Susan, Henry, Janice, Vincent, another Susan, William. Heaven above, she'd never remember all these names, and the thought brought a moment of sheer panic that tensed every muscle in her body.
As though sensing her apprehension, Joshua smiled down at her and squeezed her hand reassuringly.
"Don't worry," he said. "You'll get to know everyone eventually."
He's right, she told herself. She plastered on a smile and tried to retreat into the foggy Eden she'd come in the door with but had lost track of somewhere along the way.
"Let me get you something to drink," he said.
"A little white wine would be nice," she told him.
She ventured farther into the living room as she watched Joshua disappear into what she suspected was the kitchen. She felt desperately alone in the group of strangers.
A woman she'd already been introduced to approached her and Cassie tried to remember her name. Susan? Or Carol? Cassie wasn't sure, a small burst of nervous anxiety made the little hairs on the back of her neck stand up, but she ignored the feeling and smiled at the woman.
"So, Cassie," she said. "You're the first date Joshua's ever brought to one of these things." She swooped out her hand to indicate the party going on behind her. "Since Liz passed, I mean. How did the two of you meet?"
"I'm Joshua's nanny."
She realized her mistake at the same instant the woman smirked.
"Not... not Joshua's nanny, of course," she stuttered, feeling not just her face but her whole body flush. "I work for Joshua. As Andy's nanny."
The woman's brows raised. "A nanny. How... sweet."
"Susan, can I slip into this conversation?" a middle-aged blond woman asked as she joined them.
"Jill," Susan almost purred the blonde's name, "you couldn't have arrived at a better moment. Have you met Cassie?"
As Cassie shook Jill's hand, Susan continued. "She's Joshua's babysitter."
"I'm Andy's nanny." Cassie murmured the correction.
"You two should have a few things in common," Susan said, not even trying to mask the condescending smile that slid across her face. "You know– crayons and carpools, sticky fingers, and spilled milk. Raising kids must be hell. The inane monotony alone would drive me absolutely insane."
With the parting remark, Susan sauntered away toward the dining room.
"Don't let her bother you," Jill advised. "Susan always acts like a great white that hasn't fed in days."
Cassie gave a shaky smile and tried to laugh, but the sound that came from her was flat and unnatural. "I did feel as though she were circling for the kill."
"That's why I hurried over," Jill said. "She's pretty uppity about who she spends her time with. Since I quit my job several years ago, she hasn't given me the time of day. Because I'm not pursuing a career at the moment, she thinks I can't put two intelligent words together." She grinned. "I thought, seeing as though you were meeting her for the first time, you might need a little backup."
"I appreciate the support." This time Cassie's smile was genuine.
"So, you're Joshua's nanny?" Jill asked.
There wasn't a hint of insult in the tone of Jill's questions, so Cassie told her about Andy and Eric. She listened attentively until Cassie had finished.
"Well, as the shark implied, the two of us do have something in common," Jill said. "I have a son. He's five. And he's the absolute joy of my life." Her gaze was level and direct as she added, "He was born with Down syndrome."
Cassie's smile slipped. "Oh… I'm… I…"
"Don't feel sorry for me," she said, her upbeat tone conveying her complete comfort in dealing with people's initial reaction to her situation. "Lee is my pride and joy. I'm happy I gave up my job to be with him every day." Jill glanced over her shoulder toward Susan, and when she turned back, one brow was raised in irritation. "But for her to infer that any mindless boob could raise children really burns my butt."
Annoyance tightened the corners of Jill's mouth.
"Crayons and carpools," Jill mumbled. "I guess it's time for me to remind that bitch that my Masters doesn't become null and void simply because I choose not to use it at this point in my life."
At that moment Joshua joined them and handed Cassie a delicate crystal glass half filled with white wine.
"Here you are," he said to Cassie, his eyes lingering on hers long enough to make her heart skip a beat. Then he smiled at Jill and asked, "How are you this evening?"
"Humph," the blonde grumbled. "Joshua, you should know better than to leave a newcomer alone in these shark-infested waters." She turned on her heel and headed toward the dining room.
Cassie directed her gaze at Joshua and nearly laughed at the confusion written on his handsome face.
"What was that all about?" he asked.
"It's nothing," Cassie said. She didn't want him worrying about her. "Jill just let herself get worked up about something Susan said."
"Oh?" It was evident from his interested look that he wanted to know more.
A man across the room hailed Joshua by calling his name and Cassie felt relieved for the interruption.
"I should go over there and talk to Garrett," Joshua told her. "We have an ongoing argument concerning the pros and cons of university research." He grinned. "I'm pro, he's con. You want to join us?"
Cassie shook her head. "You go. I'll be okay."
"You'll mingle?"
"Of course," she promised in a voice filled with false brightness.
She stood there a moment and watched Joshua's broad back as he crossed the room. God, but he was gorgeous, and he had a body firm with sinewy muscle. Strong arms and rock-hard shoulders… and the hot, ardent kisses they'd shared. The memory made her lightheaded and hot all over.
Cassie took a deep breath to calm the pounding of her heart. The wine tasted light and fruity as it traveled over her tongue and down her throat. She tipped the glass for another swallow, never taking her eyes off Joshua's exquisite profile.
Why am I so attracted to him? she wondered, not for the first time. She knew his handsome face and dark, wavy hair were enough to turn any woman's head, but there was more to Joshua that she found compelling. He was a kind and loving father. A little overprotective, maybe, but he was compassionate and understanding when dealing with Andrew. And he was a deep thinker. He was smart.
It was the scholarly quality about him that intrigued her most of all, she was certain. Joshua was all the things she wished she could be. No matter what she and Eric and Andy talked about, Joshua always seemed to know something about the topic. Cassie found Joshua's intellect extremely... sexy.
He glanced her way and offered her a quick smile, then he went back to his conversation with Garrett. A moment later he did a double take, and that's when she remembered she'd promised him she'd mingle. She nodded in response to his querying look in an effort to ease his worried frown.
Looking around the room, she swallowed with difficulty. Her throat felt dry as cotton as she nervously considered which group of people to approach. She took a tiny sip of wine, its soothing warmth giving her some much needed strength. There were small clusters of two, three, and sometimes four people in the living and dining rooms. There were several others out on the wo
oden patio beyond the wide, open glass doors, and when the door to the kitchen swung open, she could see at least two people socializing there.
Straightening her shoulders, she moved toward the closest group. But then she heard the phrase "in vitro drug metabolism". The only in vitro she'd ever read about had to do with fertility– helping a woman become pregnant. But drug metabolism? What did that mean? How could she contribute to a discussion on a subject of which she'd never heard? She didn't bother to stop, but simply quickened her steps straight through the dining room and pushed open the door to the kitchen.
"Hi, Cassie."
"I've just come for a refill, Nathan," she said, relieved that she remembered the host's name.
"Help yourself."
Putting more concentration into filling her glass than was necessary, Cassie kept one ear on what Nathan was saying to the young gentleman opposite him.
"That's where an energy-conversion photometer comes into play," Nathan remarked.
Cassie's nervous anxiety forced her to cast a sidelong glance at the younger man. His rapt expression and blatant excitement led her to believe that he was a graduate student rather than university faculty.
"I learned about that in my freshman year," the young man said. "Let me see if I remember. A photometer converts the radiant energy of stars, right?"
"Yes, the conversion is made into a more measurable form of energy–"
"Electricity," the younger man eagerly provided.
"Exactly," Cassie heard as she left the kitchen and retraced her steps through the dining room.
She hesitated only long enough to hear the word "ethnocentrism" from one group, and the phrase "post-modernist bourgeois liberal" from the other before she decided to flee toward the patio doors.
As she passed Joshua, he reached out and captured her wrist without halting his argument.
