Guarding His Heart

by R. Cayden

  They each laughed again. Something about the way Declan said that made Seb feel like it was true, and that gave him a whole other kind of thrill. Like Declan wasn’t only a shield for Seb—he could be a sword, too.

  At least in Seb’s persistent fantasies. In real life, he reminded himself that Declan was there for a paycheck, nothing more.

  Declan took another drink of his soda, then shook his head. “I should get going. I should make a round outside again tonight.” He lifted the soda in the air, then shot that big smile again. “Thanks for the drink.”

  “Wait,” Seb said quickly, searching for an excuse to extend their time together. “There’s three security guards on the house now. Do you still need to go out?”

  Declan narrowed his eyes. “It’s only smart. I don’t know those people out front. They could be careless.”

  “It’s so cold,” Seb said, stepping closer again. “And maybe things are safer if you stay close to me, anyway.” Shame burned at him as he came so close to begging Declan to stay, but he couldn’t help himself.

  Declan’s face softened. “Would you feel better if I stayed close?”

  Seb’s lips parted, and he felt the word on his tongue, dancing at the back of his teeth until he was finally able to say it. “Yes, I would.”

  Declan smiled, one corner of his mouth twitching up. “That’s all you need to say, Sebastian,” he answered.

  “Seb,” he said. “Call me Seb.”

  “Seb.”

  A wave of warmth and relief washed over Seb’s body, quickly followed by exhaustion.

  “Hey there,” Declan said, stepping forward and placing a hand on Seb’s arm. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Just tired.”

  “You want to lie down?”

  Seb nodded. “Maybe I should.”

  “Let’s get you up to your room,” Declan said. “You’ve been through a lot. The adrenaline spikes alone would be enough leave you feeling exhausted.”

  “Yeah,” Seb answered, rubbing the back of his head as he walked up toward his room. “That makes sense. Thanks.”

  In the bedroom, Declan headed straight over to the windows, glancing outside before pulling his radio out and checking in with all three security guards. Seb smiled as he leaned against the doorframe, his head swimming with exhaustion—but something else, too. Something comfortable and reassuring.

  “You need anything?” Declan asked. “Can I get you a water? Or one of those bottles you drink at night?”

  Seb was surprised he’d noticed the flavored fizzy waters. “No, that’s fine. I can get myself a water—”

  “Let me,” he said gruffly, then left the room.

  Seb unbuttoned his shirt and sat at the edge of the bed. Waiting for Declan felt like a whole new tension, like a new kind of need had grabbed him by the ribs.

  Declan returned with a water, then stood at the foot of the bed, one hand on the post. “I’ve been around a lot of stuff like this break-in,” he said. “The first time, it took me days to recover. I know your father acted like it was all business, but really, there’s nothing wrong with feeling scared and needing a little time to recover from something like that. Fuck, the problem would be if you weren’t shaken. Then I’d be worried about you.”

  He stood there, leaning forward just slightly. Seb thought Declan was going to reach out, but he brushed his hand across his chin instead. The need that tugged at Seb’s ribs got stronger, harder to deny.

  “Will you sleep in here?” Seb asked. His voice was soft, almost like it would break, but he forced the words out anyway, his need stronger than his shame or hesitation. “I’d feel better if I weren’t alone at night.”

  Declan turned his eyes to the door, then back. Seb’s heart was pounding. He patted the bed to show what he meant as he forced himself to hold Declan’s eyes. “Please?” he asked weakly.

  Declan closed his eyes, then opened them again. “Okay,” he said. “I can do that.”

  Seb smiled, basking in another rush of comfort. “Thank you.”

  “Just let me run to my wing for a minute, okay?”

  When he left, Seb quickly changed into his pajamas, hurrying so Declan wouldn’t walk in on him in his underwear. He couldn’t believe he had actually asked something like that of Declan, but more than that, he couldn’t believe Declan had actually said yes.

  By the time Declan returned, Seb wasn’t thinking about the intruders, or the threats, or his father. He was only thinking about Declan and how much he needed to be with that man, held in his strength.

  Declan had on a pair of green sweatpants, slung low enough that Seb could see the lines of his hips, pointing down. The black tank he wore gave a fuller view of his tattoos than Seb had seen before, the flames and knives and skulls that covered his biceps popping. Seb swallowed, then crawled into the bed.

  “You want to put on a TV show?” Declan asked. “It’s good to have a distraction sometimes, instead of just repeating the break-in in your mind all night.”

  Seb pulled himself up on his elbows. “That sounds smart,” he said, gesturing to the television across from the bed. “Whatever you’d like to watch, I guess.”

  Declan lifted the remote, then flipped on the set. It was still readied up to play the anime from earlier, and Seb felt a wave of embarrassment that he was watching a cartoon, something so juvenile when the bodyguard was so hardened. Before Declan could say anything, though, he hit the remote and the show started playing.

  “It’s an anime,” Seb muttered.

  Declan settled into his side of the bed. It was king-size, and the space made it easy for Seb and Declan each to keep to their own sides as Declan crawled in.

  “Cool,” he said casually. “I’ve never watched one of these.”

  An owl hooted outside, and occasionally, Seb heard the wind pass through the trees while his heart thudded with desperate desire. For the most part, though, the house was quiet except for the quiet hum of the television show, and an occasional low chuckle from Declan as he watched the antics on the screen. A strange mixture of desire, exhaustion, and nervousness swirled through Seb, but slowly, he drifted off into the comfort of having another person in bed, someone to share the night.

  “Good night, Seb,” Declan said, his voice so low, Seb almost missed it.

  “Good night, Declan,” he answered, then slowly drifted to sleep.

  * * *

  DECLAN

  Declan woke up pressed close to something soft and warm. Still half asleep, he groaned as he rotated his hips, and the nice, warm thing pressed back.

  His eyes shot open. The back of Seb’s head was in Declan’s face, and when Declan exhaled, his breath played through Seb’s ruffled hair.

  Seb made a little whimpering noise, then arched his ass back. Declan was suddenly achingly aware of his throbbing erection. He sucked in a breath, then gently disentangled their bodies.

  “Fuck,” he gasped once he finally reached the hallway. “Pull it together, dude.”

  He walked into the kitchen, then gulped a glass of water. His eyes traced the lawn outside for prints in the snow. After a moment, he headed over to the security cameras, flipping through to make sure nothing had changed while he slept.

  Once he confirmed they were safe, Declan’s thoughts went straight back to his crotch. His thick dick was still tenting the front of his sweatpants, rigid as when he woke up. He adjusted his erection, then headed into his wing. The second the door swung shut behind him, he shoved his hand down his pants and gripped his rod.

  With a groan, Declan stumbled into the bedroom. He must have been hard the whole night; his balls were already that heavy. He spit in his free hand, then fisted his base and rubbed his thumb along his pulsing veins.

  He felt like he was on fire. He could smell Seb, like ink and flowers, and feel the curves of his ass. He stroked his own length, slowly a couple of times, then faster.

  He imagined shoving his fingers in Seb’s hole, then feeling Seb’s pink lips wrap around his di
ck. The filthy pictures tortured Declan, tempting him with something he couldn’t have, that he shouldn’t even let himself desire. He tightened his jaw, grinding his teeth as he beat his dick, tortured by what he craved but so, so close to hitting his climax.

  “Hello? Declan?”

  “Fuck,” he gasped, his hand sliding off his dick, which was left twitching against his stomach. Seb’s voice was just on the other side of the double doors at the end of the hallway. “One second!” Declan barked.

  He looked down at his erection, fat and obvious in his sweatpants, then cursed again. He kicked the pants off as he rushed into the bedroom. His cock was dripping precum, and no matter how many times he swore at it, it wouldn’t go down.

  “Come on, asshole. Give me a hand for once.”

  Grimacing, Declan pulled on a pair of boxer briefs to hold his dick back, then bulky jeans, and hurried back to the door. When he pulled it open, Seb was standing there, scratching the back of his head.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I woke up alone, and for a second, I was just…” He trailed off.

  “It’s okay,” Declan said. “I’m right here. You want some breakfast?”

  Seb nodded, then smiled. Declan ignored the way his erection throbbed in response and started toward the kitchen, duck-walking to accommodate his problem. At least Seb didn’t seem aware of how they had slept pressed together. “Bacon? Eggs?”

  “There’s premade oatmeal,” Seb answered. “I usually have those.”

  Declan stopped by the fridge, then turned to Seb. “But will you eat bacon and eggs?”

  Seb nodded. “Sure, I guess.” He considered it for a second, then nodded. “Thanks!”

  Declan grunted as he started into the food. At some point, and preferably soon, he was going to need two minutes alone to take care of his aching balls. But he didn’t like that Seb had woken up disoriented, and a part of him felt relieved to be able to do something nice for the guy. Going through something like a home invasion could be traumatizing, and during the few days after, feeling safe and secure was vital.

  “You said something last night,” Seb asked. He walked over to the coffee machine and punched it on as he talked. “Something about being in situations like this before?”

  “A few times, yeah.” Declan went to work, tossing bacon on the stove and cracking eggs.

  “Thanks for saying that. It helped put me at ease.” He pulled a couple of mugs down. “And I’m sorry that you’ve had to live through a lot of violence.”

  Declan chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s nothing to worry about,” he said quickly. “Trust me, a lot of people have it a lot worse than I do.” He turned to Seb with a grin. “I’m still around, after all.”

  Seb smiled back, like the grin relaxed him, and Declan returned to the breakfast. “Do you end up shooting your guns a lot?” Seb asked.

  “What?” Declan asked sharply. “What do you mean?” In truth, he had shot his gun on the job a number of times, but always in self-defense. He’d never killed or seriously injured someone, and as the pan heated on the stove, he had a strange urge to clarify that fact to Seb.

  “I’m just trying to think about what might happen if those people came back,” Seb answered. “I could relax a lot better if I understood the risks.”

  A smile chased up the corners of Declan’s mouth as he popped a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster. He wasn’t surprised to hear Seb trying to logic out what the danger was. But there was just something weirdly charming about how he said it, all matter of fucking fact, despite how terrifying the truth was.

  He was brave, Declan realized, even if he didn’t know that about himself yet.

  “I don’t think you need to worry about gunfire,” Declan said, facing the stove. “To be honest with you, kid, some of the work I used to do wasn’t totally above the board. This gig, hanging out in this house with you? It’s not the kind of job where things are likely to get too messy.” He squinted, then flipped the eggs. “Don’t go letting your guard down, though,” he added flatly.

  “And you know how to take care of things, if it does get bad?”

  Declan turned and crossed his arms over his chest. He wanted to tell Seb the whole truth of his life and everything he knew about this job. The kid was right to ask about Declan, considering they’d slept in the same bed and that Declan was going to be in his house for the next months. But he also knew that dumping his sob story would be a fast way to freak Seb out.

  And something in the back of Declan’s mind was thinking about sleeping in that bed again, and what it felt like when Seb needed him. Selfishly, he didn’t want to let that go.

  “I can take care of things,” Declan said. “I grew up hunting, first of all, so I know my way around land like this. And like I told you, I’ve had to fight a fair amount in my life. I’ve worked as a bodyguard, and one of the men I watched over needed some serious protection. On top of all that, I’ve got connections with groups like these Blue Devils, and I know how they operate. I’m confident I can do whatever this job requires.”

  It was all true, and Declan was glad to see Seb relax a little more when he shared it, clearly reassured by the experience. Declan would just keep to himself that those previous clients included a mob boss and that, when he worked security, it was often for an underground fight club his family ran in Seattle.

  “What else do you know about the gang?” Seb asked.

  Declan turned back to the stove, then went to making their plates. He knew Seb was too smart to be kept in the dark, anyway. And so over breakfast, he shared everything else he knew. He explained who the Blue Devils were and the types of activity a group like that would usually get up to. Declan went over different kinds of weapons and explained what he knew about kidnapping a person for ransom, which turned out to be distressingly more than he realized at first. Between chewing on his breakfast and making satisfied murmurs, Seb asked questions and followed up on little details that surprised Declan.

  Declan paused, dipped his toast in the last bit of his runny egg, and then nodded at Seb to do the same. Seb tried it out with a smile, then tilted his head to the side. “Wait a second…” He seemed to think carefully for a minute, and Declan grunted a laugh to see the intense concentration on his face, like math equations were flying through his mind.

  “So you worked for an organized crime syndicate, is that right?” Seb asked. “Maybe two crime syndicates, actually? It sounds like you stole stuff when you were a teenager and played around with selling marijuana, then switched to being the bodyguard at a fight club before moving on to providing security at illegal poker games and finally for a mob boss?”

  Declan coughed on his coffee. “The fuck?”

  Seb dropped his fork on the plate. “Considering what you just told me, and that you’re not law enforcement, and when I put the timeline together in my head…”

  Declan narrowed his eyes, then took a big bite of bacon. He chewed while Seb stared at him and tried to figure out what the hell he was supposed to say to all of that, his secrets laid out on the counter like breakfast.

  Smart fucking kid, he realized all over again.

  Declan finally swallowed. “Yeah,” he answered. “That’s about right.”

  Seb stood up and grabbed their plates. “I was going to say I’m surprised that my dad hired you, but I guess he wasn’t really involved in picking the person, huh?”

  Declan chuckled. “No, not really.” He was surprised the kid was taking the information so easily. He knew he looked like a biker, so his story shouldn’t exactly come as a surprise, but Seb had been so nervous and jittery when they first met. Declan would have guessed those walls were never coming down.

  Seb deposited the plates in the washer, then looked up to Declan. “You’re white hat,” he said. “That’s cool.”

  “White hat?” Declan had heard the term, but he wasn’t exactly sure what it meant.

  “It’s a term for computer hackers who do legal things, like making sure a s
chool’s electronic records are secure instead of trying to break into someone’s email account.”

  Declan leaned back on the counter. “White hat,” he said. “How about that.” He didn’t know a damn thing about hacking and thought time spent sitting at a computer was a wasted day. But if the kid wanted to see him as some kind of a good guy, he wasn’t going to complain. Hell, he wished he could see himself that way, too.

  Too bad the truth was a little different. Declan had quit working for mob bosses, sure, but sitting at his ranch, drinking beer, and watching television was hardly white hat work.

  They chatted a bit more, and eventually, Seb went back into his lab. Even with all signs indicating the danger had passed, Declan prepared to spend the day close by.

  Just as soon as he got in that shower and took care of the business Seb had interrupted before breakfast.

  Sebastian

  Seb stood at the laboratory window, gazing across the hillside while he sipped from his fizzy water. The moon was out, reflecting silver shadows off the snow.

  “Tell me about the party you’re going to tonight,” he said, turning back to Alexandria’s projection on the screen. She was busy doing her makeup, slowly applying thick mascara and batting her eyes in a round mirror.

  “I thought you didn’t care about my parties, Seb.”

  “I need a distraction,” he sighed. “Declan is out doing a perimeter walk. It feels kind of weird to be alone.”

  “I wish you’d come to Brooklyn,” she said, as she did every time they talked. “It’s not like you’re getting any research done anyway.”

  Seb flopped down into a desk chair. “That’s very true. I couldn’t even focus enough to read over the latest results my father’s lab sent me.”

  “Because little hearts and Cupids were floating in front of your eyes?”

  “No,” Seb grumbled. “Machine guns and blindfolds.” He tapped his fingers against the desk, then glanced once more at the stack of papers he had failed to read. “And the occasional Cupid, I guess.”