Window on Yesterday

by Joan Hohl

  Dawn came slowly, revealing the depths and heaviness of the storm clouds. Alycia grew uneasy, and transmitted her fear to the horse. The animal was already acting skittish when a crackling shaft of lightning speared through the roiling greenish-black clouds. Thunder boomed directly overhead.

  With a high, piercing scream, the horse reared up on his hind legs, then leaped into a terror-induced gallop. Alycia could do nothing but hold on to the reins with a death grip.

  A second flash of lightning, followed by a louder boom of thunder, sent the animal completely mad. Tossing his head wildly, he plunged across the road and into the trees. As terrified as the horse, Alycia didn’t see the low-hanging tree branch. She felt a stunning blow to her head, and then she was soaring through the rain. She was screaming before she hit the ground.

  Sean!

  Patrick!

  * * * *

  The echoes of her screams were still bouncing around in Alycia’s mind as she regained consciousness. Jerking upright, she opened her mouth and gave them substance.

  “Sean! Patrick!”

  She opened her eyes, expecting darkness. There was light. Bright light. Glaring light. Alycia shut her eyes. But the light was not as glaring as before. Her head hurt. But not as badly as before. Alycia jumped when a hand touched her arm. She was in the forest. Alone in the forest! Who was touching her? The hand was joined by another. Gently but firmly, Alycia was lowered to her back.

  ‘Take it easy. Take it easy. The doctor will be here in a moment.”

  Doctor? Who was speaking? Alycia wanted to open her eyes, but was afraid of the light. Had Lettie missed her and raised an alarm? Had a search party found her lying on the ground in the forest? Alycia didn’t have the feeling of lying on the wet, hard ground. She was dry, and whatever she was lying on was soft. Strange. Alycia’s mind was working on the puzzle when there was a bang, like that of a door being flung open.

  “I’m here. I’m with you. I’ll always be with you. I’ll never let you go.”

  Alycia frowned. She had heard that voice, those same words before, but always in a dream. A warm hand clasped hers, tightly. She wasn’t dreaming! Alycia’s chest contracted, cutting off her breath. She was afraid, afraid, but she had to see, had to know! Slowly, fearfully, she opened her eyes.

  She saw a wall, a white wall, and an open doorway leading on to a wide corridor. The door stood open against the wall. It had a small window. Swallowing against the fear clutching her throat, Alycia carefully turned her head. A sharp gasp burst from her lips as her gaze settled on a pair of eyes the color of a summer-blue sky.

  “Alycia?”

  “Sean!”

  “Oh, God, Alycia!”

  Strong hands lifted her up. Trembling arms drew her into a tight embrace. Tears of joy flowed down Alycia’s face, wetting Sean’s shirt. Sean’s shirt! Harsh sobs were torn from her throat. She was home! Home!

  Like children who had been lost and were suddenly found, Alycia and Sean clung to each other, murmuring words and broken sentences that made no sense, yet both understood. Lost in the joy of being together, neither Alycia nor Sean heard another enter the room.

  “Well, apparently your faith and persistence have paid off, Sean.”

  The voice reached Alycia as if through a fog. There was something vaguely familiar about the female voice. Alycia tried to put a face to the voice, but she was too tired, too content with being crushed to Sean’s hard chest. She heard him release a long shuddering sigh before loosening his hold on her enough to glance around at the speaker.

  “And your perspicacity, Letticia.”

  The woman laughed, low in her throat. “Not to mention my perseverance,” she retorted dryly.

  “Whatever.” Sean’s chest muscles rippled against Alycia’s cheek as he shrugged. The crack in his voice betrayed deep emotional strain. “Alycia’s conscious, fully conscious.”

  “I really can’t give a medical opinion on that until I’ve examined her ... or, at the very least, seen her,” she drawled. “At the moment, my patient appears to be buried in your manly chest.”

  Sean laughed, a rich, full laugh of sheer relief.

  Alycia frowned. Medical opinion? Her patient? Was the woman a physician? Sean answered her questions with two words.

  “Yes, Doctor.”

  “Yes, what?” the doctor asked wryly.

  “Yes, she’s buried in my chest.” Sean was releasing her as he replied, “And, yes, you may examine her.” His hands gently grasped her shoulders, putting her from him even though Alycia murmured a protest. “It’s all right, love. I’ll be right here,” he promised, smiling tenderly as he lowered her to the bed.

  “Sean?” Alycia’s gaze clung to him as he moved to one side. “You won’t disappear?”

  “I won’t disappear.”

  “And neither will you,” the doctor said briskly.

  Alycia drew her gaze away from Sean reluctantly. He looked so handsome, so wonderful, so very real. A tingle of shock widened her eyes as her gaze settled on the doctor’s face. The woman was tall, stately, beautiful, and black.

  “Lettie?” Alycia whispered,

  “Lettie?” The doctor looked surprised. “No one calls me that.” Her expression of surprise gave way to a wry smile. “At least not to my face. Why did you?”

  Alycia felt so very tired—tired and confused. Images whirled in her mind. Patrick. Lettie. Caroline. Had she dreamed them all up? Was it all a vivid, realistic dream? Alycia recalled wondering the same thing while lying in a bed in a beautiful plantation mansion ten miles outside of Williamsburg. Was it all a dream? Exhausted, she closed her eyes.

  “Alycia!” Sean was by her side in an instant, grasping her hand, holding tight. “Darling, please don’t leave me again!”

  Alycia tried to open her eyes. Her eyelids were too heavy. She tried to smile reassuringly at Sean. Her lips curved faintly.

  “So tired,” she murmured. “So sleepy.” Alycia was hovering in the nether world between sleep and wakefulness, but she heard and understood the exchange between Sean and the doctor.

  “Is she unconscious again?” Sean asked anxiously.

  “No.” The doctor’s fingers were on Alycia’s wrist. “She is exactly what she said she is ... very, very sleepy. Can you hear me, Alycia?”

  “Yes.” Alycia’s voice was slurred.

  “Good. You sleep, and heal.”

  The words had a familiar ring. Alycia tried to concentrate. Someone had said those words to her before. She couldn’t remember who, and as she drifted into a natural sleep, she realized it really didn’t matter.

  * * * *

  Alycia woke feeling refreshed and alert. Bright spring sunshine bathed the room, but the light didn’t hurt her eyes. Frowning, Alycia glanced around. The room was different ... No, it was a different room. But Alycia didn’t mind. She was home—or, if not exactly home, in the right century. The thought sent her memory spinning backward like a reel of film being rewound.

  Patrick.

  Sean.

  Were they one and the same? It had seemed so very real. Patrick had seemed so real. Tears filled Alycia’s eyes and she shook her head. She didn’t want to cry. She was happy. She was home. She was with Sean again.

  Alycia sighed softly. She would have to think about it, long and hard. Maybe, in time, she’d be able to fit the pieces of the puzzle together.

  But not here, Alycia decided. She wanted to go home to think, to her own place, her own room. Thinking about the apartment brought thoughts of her friends. Karla! Andrea! Suddenly Alycia couldn’t wait to see them again. She glanced up as the door swung open, a smile lighting her face at the sight of Sean striding into the room. Her smile stopped him in his tracks.

  “You’re awake!”

  “Yes.” Alycia hesitated, uncertain, for just a moment, then held out her arms to him. “Oh, Sean, it’s so good to see you.” Her smile wavered as her lips trembled.

  Sean was across the room in three long strides. Murmuring her name
in an anguished tone, he pulled her into a desperate, crushing embrace. Alycia’s eyes grew wide with wonder as his freshly shaved cheek grazed hers. His face felt wet! Surely Sean wasn’t weeping? Raising her hand, she clasped his face and drew back to look at him. His eyes were over-bright. His blunt lashes were spiky with moisture, and a single tear trickled slowly down his taut face.

  “Oh, Sean, don’t cry,” she whispered, brushing the tear from his face with her fingers. “Please don’t cry.” Oblivious to the tears running down her face, she trailed her fingers up to wipe the moisture from his lashes.

  Sean shuddered and his arms tightened convulsively. “I was so scared,” he muttered in a strangled voice. “I was afraid I’d lose you, Alycia. When I arrived here ... you were so white, so still, I felt helpless, hopeless, and so damned scared.” He shuddered again, and buried his face in her hair.

  “I’m fine. I’m here.” Alycia smoothed her hand down the back of his head, deriving comfort from comforting him. “Come,” she coaxed, gently tugging his head up. “Sit with me, talk to me. My mind is spinning with questions.”

  Sean shook his head and gave a wry smile. “I feel like a fool. I haven’t wept since my father died.”

  “There’s nothing to feel foolish about.” Alycia sighed. “If there were, I’d have to feel like an idiot. I’ve done a lot of crying.”

  “I know.” Sean smiled. Handling her as if she were made of the most fragile crystal, he helped her back into bed and sat on the bed facing her. “You cried while you were unconscious,” he said, answering the question she was about to ask. “That was one of the things that scared me the most.” He curled his long fingers around her hand, as if afraid she’d disappear if he didn’t hang on to her.

  Alycia understood exactly how Sean was feeling, for she felt the same way about him. She might have been content to spend the day simply looking at him, if her mind hadn’t been racing with questions. Wondering where to begin, she carefully laced her fingers through his while marshaling her thoughts.

  “You spoke of arriving here,” she began slowly. “Sean, where is ‘here’? I know I’m in a hospital.” Alycia frowned. “But where? What hospital?”

  “Richmond. You’re in a hospital in Richmond, Virginia.” Sean’s fingers tightened, causing a twinge of pain in hers. Alycia didn’t mind at all. “This was the hospital nearest to where the accident occurred.” His fingers flexed, as if in reaction to remembered fear. “They have taken very good care of you here.” His grip on her hand relaxed.

  Alycia remembered the fear-filled moments before the accident. Repressing a shiver, she said, “I suppose my car was totaled.”

  “No.” Sean smiled faintly at her look of astonishment. “Amazingly, you managed to turn away from the stupid bastard who was driving that truck. His front fender caught yours, spinning your car into the snow piled in the median strip.” He swallowed with noticeable difficulty. “That snow cushion probably saved your life. You were bruised in several places, but the most serious injury was a blow to the head.” He drew a deep, shaky breath. “At any rate, your car has been repaired. I took the liberty of having it returned to Pennsylvania.”

  “Repaired? Returned?” Alycia gave a surprised laugh. “So quickly?”

  “Quickly!” Sean exclaimed. “Alycia, you have been here for over a month.”

  Alycia’s eyes widened. “Over a month!” she repeated in amazement. “How can that be?”

  “That’s exactly what the doctors were asking,” Sean said. “It seemed impossible, but you kept swinging in and out of consciousness. Of course, everyone was afraid you’d slip into a deep coma. But you just seemed to hover there, on the edge.”

  “Incredible,” Alycia murmured.

  “Yes.” Sean’s fingers flexed again, and Alycia knew he was remembering some particularly bad moments. When he continued, she knew she was right. “You sat bolt upright in bed several times, screaming my name.” He shut his eyes, as if trying to shut out the memory. “I talked to you, talked to you ...” His voice faded.

  Alycia remembered, the moments of sudden light, the glare, the pain, and her silent cry for him. Alycia shivered. She had to think, reason it out, but... Alycia’s thoughts were interrupted by the door swinging open.

  “Well, I see you’re here bright and early to take your wife home, Sean,” the tall doctor said as she walked into the room.

  Wife? Alycia was frowning over the word when the full content of the woman’s remark hit her. Sean was here to take her home? Her gaze shot from the doctor to Sean and back again to the doctor.

  “You’re releasing me, Doctor?” she asked hopefully.

  “I am,” the woman replied, smiling. “You probably don’t remember, but I gave you a thorough examination yesterday. All you need now is to rest and regain your strength, and you can do that at home.” She arched her brows teasingly. “You do want to go home, don’t you?”

  “Yes, Doctor,” Alycia answered fervently. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She smiled wryly. “And you may as well call me Lettie. She glanced at Sean as she turned toward the door. “I’ll leave your wife in your care now, Sean. I have sick people to tend to. Good luck to both of you.” With that, she was through the doorway and gone from sight, leaving behind a very thoughtful Alycia.

  Her husband? But Sean couldn’t be her husband. Patrick was her husband. Alycia shook her head. No. Patrick was part of the dream. Was it all a dream?

  “Why are you frowning so fiercely?” Sean asked anxiously. “Are you in pain?”

  Alycia bit her lip to keep from crying out in confusion. Patrick had asked her that very same question when she fainted at his feet the day they met! Was it all a dream?

  “Alycia?”

  Alycia pulled herself together, afraid that if she didn’t she wouldn’t be allowed to go home. “You told her we’re married?” she asked, controlling the urge to frown again.

  “Yes,” he replied. “In fact, everyone here believes we’re married.” He sighed. “I’ll tell you all about it on the way home. I want to get you out of here. But first,” he paused to slip one hand into his pants pocket, “I want to put these back where they belong.” He removed his hand from his pocket and opened it. Her gold chains were nestled in his palm.

  Alycia wept softly as Sean fastened the chains around her wrist and neck.

  Sean explained several things to Alycia during the relatively short flight from Richmond to Philadelphia.

  “Expediency,” he said when she again asked him why he had claimed to be her husband. “When you were taken into the emergency room, the resident doctor needed permission from a relative to treat you.” He shrugged. “I was the only one there. I had tried to call your parents while I was waiting for my flight to Richmond. The barman at your father’s place told me they were sailing somewhere in the Caribbean.”

  Alycia nodded. Her parents had informed her of their plans to go sailing in the spring.

  “Anyway,” Sean continued. “I knew they needed permission to treat you. I told them I was your husband and signed all the necessary papers.”

  “I see.” Alycia played with the chain around her wrist. “But, how did you learn about the accident? I mean, Karla and Andrea were both away.”

  “Which is why I learned about it.” Sean smiled and covered her hand with his, stilling the nervous play of her fingers. “When the authorities couldn’t get an answer at the apartment, they notified the college. The dean, not knowing who else to call, phoned the head of the history department. I was having dinner with Professor Rathman when he received the call.” He smiled wryly. “I’m sure Rathman is convinced I’m an absolute madman. I know I acted like one.”

  Alycia started to smile, then jerked erect in her seat. “Rathman! The history department! Sean, your lectures— were they well received?”

  “They weren’t given.”

  “Not given?” She stared at him blankly. “But why?’

  “Why?” he exclaimed softly. “I
canceled them, that’s why. I wasn’t about to leave you alone in a hospital in Virginia while I babbled through a series of lectures in Pennsylvania.” He drew her back in her seat and leaned close to her. “I couldn’t leave you. I love you, Alycia. I want to marry you.” Before she could respond, he added urgently, “I know how you feel about marriage, love, and I won’t press you for an answer now, but will you think about it... please? I want you for my wife.”

  Alycia didn’t need time to think about his proposal, but she didn’t want to respond to him on a crowded plane, either. Smiling softly, she nodded, and remembered the voice of another man, or perhaps the same man, saying similar words to her.

  * * * *

  Home! It was wonderful. Sean was wonderful. Karla and Andrea were wonderful! Alycia felt caught between two worlds. She missed Lettie and Caroline. And she missed Patrick. Her mind was torn with doubt.

  At odd moments, Alycia found herself wondering if maybe, just maybe, her spirit and Alice’s had collided in some way. Was it possible, Alycia asked herself, that by some quirk in time, her spirit or soul had been thrust into Alice’s body, while Alice’s soul resided in hers in a hospital bed?

  At other moments, Alycia asked herself if her subconscious had been teaching her a lesson while she was unconscious. Sean had asked her to marry him mere hours before the accident. She had been worrying about making a commitment mere minutes before the accident. Yet, in her dream, she had committed herself to Patrick without hesitation.

  Alycia didn’t know the answer to either question. But she did know the answer to the question Sean had asked her on the plane.

  * * * *

  On a beautiful warm morning in May, Alycia stood beside Sean in front of the altar in the college chapel. Karla and Andrea stood on her left. Her parents were seated in the first pew behind her. At a nod from the pastor, she turned to gaze into those blue eyes she loved so much. Sean’s voice was strong and sure.