Finding You (Pack Bardot Book 1)

by M. K. Harper

  “You mean a Christian?” Chevy asks me sardonically. Well, guess that answers how much he knows.

  “So, have you always known or did you also get your mind blown last night?” I ask him.

  “There’s been rumors about the Bardot and Ames families, but I never knew for sure until last night.” Chevy looks mildly guilty for not having shared those rumors with me.

  “Alright, there’s plenty of time to get into the gossip that the townsfolk like to spread, but right now my girl needs to get some food in her,” Dax declares. Chevy gives me a shit eatin’ grin and mouths ‘his girl?’ at me.

  “What’s your poison?” Dax opens up the three boxes. One pepperoni, one meat lovers and the other some sort of vegetable monstrosity.

  “What the hell is that?” I point at it.

  “It’s a veggie lovers. Cauliflower crust, a puréed tomato and squash sauce, dairy free cheese and vegetable toppings.” Chevy states casually like anything he just said is remotely normal.

  “Take it away,” I gag. “That is a blatant bitch slap to pizza as a whole you, uncultured swine!” I say in outrage. Mom and Dax double over laughing but there is not a single funny thing about that abomination Chevy is trying pass off as pizza.

  “It’s not my fault my mother is a health nut!” he tries to defend himself.

  “That might be so, but if you ever try to bring some healthy version of junk food into this house again, I’ll be forced to rethink this friendship,” I say with as much seriousness as I can.

  “And they say the gays are dramatic.” Chevy rolls his eyes. I snatch up a piece of pepperoni for each of us and shove one towards his mouth.

  “Bite,” I direct. Everyone looks at me like I’m a bit unhinged, but whatev. Who says I’m not? Chevy finally relents and takes a hesitant bite. Once again I get to watch him enjoy that first taste of heaven. His eyes roll back in his head and he snatches the slice away from me and starts shoving the rest in his mouth. Inarticulate sounds can be heard every few seconds.

  “It’s like watching your child take their first steps every time.” I pinch his cheeks.

  I scarf down three slices of pizza before I feel like I might burst. We spend the next couple of hours binging The Big Bang Theory. It just so happens to be one of Dax’s favorite shows as well. Chevy promises to come by tomorrow afternoon so we can really talk about everything that happened Friday night. I know we’ve been avoiding the elephant in the room but I’m so not ready to go there yet. I’m enjoying the Dax bubble I’m living in entirely too much to bring up all that heaviness. Mom goes to bed shortly after Chev leaves and Dax and I watch a few more episodes before my eyes start to get heavy.

  “You ready to head to bed?” Dax asks from beside me. I nod, exhaustion weighing me down. Before I can stand, he scoops me into his arms and heads for my room. I rest my head against his chest and revel in the safety I feel wrapped in his arms. Dax sits me down on the bathroom counter and squeezes some toothpaste on my toothbrush before handing it to me. He grabs another one from the holder and does the same. I look at him questioningly, wondering where it came from.

  “One of my pack brothers brought me some of my things,” he explains. We brush our teeth in silence, sharing secret smiles and looks. This moment feels so natural, like we’ve already done it dozens of times. My heart expands almost painfully with how much I feel for him already. I think it might burst from my chest when I fall completely in love with him, and I don’t think I’m too far off from that. We both spit and rinse and then Dax wipes the corner of my mouth where a bit of toothpaste was left behind. His thumb trails over my bottom lip absentmindedly, causing me to gasp. His eyes are focused on my lips like he’s mesmerized. Before I can think better of it, my tongue darts out and swipes his thumb.

  “Fuuckkkk,” he groans, and it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. He braces his hands against the mirror behind me and parts my legs with his knee. He moves between them and the feel of him against me so closely causes a whimper to escape me. Dax buries his face against my neck, inhaling deeply.

  “You smell so good, but I want my scent on everything you own so there isn’t a doubt who you belong to,” he growls, the sound alone causing me to throb in places I never have before. His caveman words shouldn’t turn me on so much, but they most definitely do.

  “We should get to bed,” he rasps, placing a kiss against my neck that makes me want to rip his clothes off. Dax pulls back, a tender smile gracing his lips as he rubs his thumb across my cheek. He leans in slowly, and I’m certain he’s going to kiss me. My eyes close, but instead of his lips meeting mine, he kisses each closed eyelid, the tip of my nose, the corners of my mouth and then a soft kiss to my forehead. I want to pout that he didn’t kiss me where I really needed him to, but the act was so sweet I can’t find a single thing to be upset about. We make our way to the bed and snuggle in just like we did earlier. His scent, mint and something spicy, envelops me. Falling for him is going to be the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

  Sometime during the night I jerk awake from a nightmare about being chased by cold, black eyes. Dax’s arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me back against him.

  “Shhh,” he whispers. “You’re safe. I’ll always keep you safe.” Every part of me knows that’s the absolute truth.

  Chapter 14

  I’m sweating when I wake up. Dax and I are a tangle of limbs and I’m not sure where he begins and I end. I start to wiggle my way free, the smell of something sweet and cinnamon-y beckoning me from the cozy little nest we’ve created. Dax protests my escape by tightening his hold on me. Not an inch of space is left between his eight pack and my wandering hands. The opportunity to explore his body is just too tempting. My finger traces his defined muscles, careful not to wake him. I’d like to prolong this joyous moment for as long as possible. That delectable little ‘V’ calls to me like a siren and my hand travels farther south. His stomach goes taut just as my thumb grazes it and I know I’ve been caught.

  “You having fun, baby?” His sleepy voice may be my new favorite sound.

  “Mmhmm,” I answer, still too enthralled by his photoshopped body to give him my full attention. His warm laugh makes me smile. This moment, waking up next Dax, is so perfect I want a million more of them.

  “Something smells good,” he says, reminding me that Mom’s cooking her famous homemade cinnamon rolls. I’d know that scent anywhere.

  “Prepare to be amazed, Wolf Man. Mom’s cinnamon rolls are to die for!” I hop over him, eager to get one as soon as they come out of the oven. Dax’s laugh follows me into the kitchen, a dumb smile plastered to my face.

  “Morning,” I kiss Mom on the cheek and start grabbing some plates and cups from the cabinet. I pour myself a glass of chocolate milk and set out the orange juice and regular milk so everyone else can decide what they want.

  “Morning Doodlebug,” she replies just as Dax walks into the kitchen mid yawn.

  “What the crap is a doodlebug?” he asks, looking painfully cute with his hair disheveled from sleep.

  “Nope!” I point at Mom. “Not. A. Single. Word, Mother.” I emphasize my seriousness by planting my hands on my hips and giving her a mean stare down. She raises both hands in surrender, a smile trying to work its way free. Dax looks between us, completely confused. Good, I plan to keep him that way in regards to anything weird about me. The oven timer goes off, the perfect cease fire. I squeal excitedly as I pull the pan of gooey perfection out and sit them on the counter. Mom pours the icing on and I watch like a drug addict as it melts into the rolls. I place one on a plate for each of us, and grab a fork to dig in. They’re entirely too hot to eat with my hands and I’m entirely too impatient to wait for them to cool down long enough to do so. The first bite is pure ecstasy and I moan appreciatively. Dax is staring at me like I’m the thing he wants to eat, not the cinnamon roll. I squirm under his heated stare. He clears his throat and averts his gaze. I watch at he takes a bite and makes a nearly identical noise. And
now I see why he was staring at me that way.

  “Oh my god,” he says, shoving in another bite. “I’m gonna have the best mother-in-law.” Mom and I both nearly choke at his words.

  “I think he may have your brain to mouth problem,” Mom says. Dax just shrugs.

  “I think being my mate is a little more binding, so marriage is just the cherry on top.” He winks at me as he takes another bite. “And just to clarify, I do fully intend to make you my wife. Probably sooner rather than later.” His eyes hold mine and I have to fight to suck in air. The man does not hold back, that’s for damn sure.

  “Good Lord, y’all are gonna make me a grandma before I’m forty, aren’t you?” She narrows her eyes at us. She drops that bomb just as I’m taking a sip of my chocolate milk. It flies out of my mouth and nose with vigor. Chocolate milk is all over Dax, but Praise Jesus, the cinnamon rolls have been spared! I’m hacking up a lung, my nose and eyes burn and Dax, poor Dax, is sitting there...covered in my regurgitated drink. I laugh. It’s impossible not to. Like a domino effect, Mom has her hand pressed against her mouth trying to hold hers in as well as she stares at Dax, but it’s a futile attempt. We’re both laughing like hyenas and Dax is still sitting there, doing his best impersonation of a statue.

  “Oh, you think this is funny, do you?” he asks me, a hint of a smile on his lips.

  “Nope.” I shake my head vigorously, pressing my lips together but a half snort-half laugh breaks free.

  “Your words are saying one thing Miss Lockwood, but your actions say another.” Dax stands, grabbing the hand towel Mom extends to him and wipes his face. There’s a wicked gleam in his eyes as he tosses the towel aside and focuses on me. A heart stopping smile takes over his face, captivating me and costing me precious moments I’m not even aware I need. He lunges for me and I squeal, running the opposite way around the island. My tiny legs are no competition. He’s on me in two strides, tossing me over his shoulder fireman style. I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe, Mom’s smiling face the only thing I can see from this angle.

  “Put me down you, giant!” I’m wiggling around like a fish out of water. Dax slaps my ass and I’m suddenly squirming for a whole new reason. I latch onto his sides so I can hurry and hoist myself up, but apparently Dax is extremely ticklish because he jerks so violently he nearly drops me, laughing like a crazy person. He tosses me onto the bed, both of us still trying to catch our breath but I can’t stop giggling.

  “Are you ticklish, Dax?” I ask breathlessly.

  “Extremely,” he says, hovering over me. “Say it again.”

  “Say what?” My eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

  “My name,” he replies. “That day I told you it had to be Mr. Bardot, it killed me. It was after I spoke to your mother and knew the full extent of the situation with your father. I didn’t want you to slip up and someone read into our relationship. That would risk your safety, so I thought keeping you at a distance was what was best. But I know, I know, that the best thing for you...is me. I’ll move mountains, Linny. I’ll wage wars, I’ll fucking ruin anyone who dares to even wish you ill will. Do you understand?” I’m utterly speechless. Not a single intelligent thought can be formed.

  “So say it again. Please,” he begs.

  “Dax...” I relent, barely more than a whisper. He sighs in contentment and then places a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose.

  “Come on, we both need showers,” he declares while pulling me up.

  “Is that your backhanded way of telling me I stink?” I glare at him playfully.

  “Not at all,” he laughs. “You smell like sunshine and me. It’s fucking intoxicating. But we need to change those bandages and wash out your wounds.” I hone in on the ‘we’ in that statement. What exactly does that mean and why am I not the least bit nervous? I’d dare say I’m downright giddy. Apparently snagging myself a mate has awakened certain needs in me that I’ve never had the desire to have met. He closes the door behind us, the click echoing through the small space. Dax reaches into the shower and turns the water on so it has time to warm up.

  “I’m gonna help you get those bandages off and rinse out the wounds. Afterwards, I’m going to take a very cold shower in your mom’s room,” he states. I think my bottom lip actually pokes out in a pout judging by his soft chuckle and the shake of his head.

  “Alright, arms up,” he instructs. I finch, the motion tugging at my injuries, but I grit through it. The loose t-shirt falls to the floor and I’m left standing in nothing but my bra and tiny sleep shorts. I have to give it to him. Dax’s eyes do their best to not stray from mine, but they eventually lose the fight. My skin heats under his gaze while simultaneously breaking out in goosebumps. What a talented man to create such a conundrum. Dax takes a deep breath and drags his attention to the bandage on my right shoulder. He carefully peels it back. My eyes bug out at the sight of my mangled flesh.

  “Holy fucking shit balls! That mangey bastard is gonna cause me to have scars.” Why that’s even important, I have no clue, but they’re definitely gonna be hard to explain.

  “You’re beautiful. With or without scars,” his pinkie finger wraps around mine. “But I promise you, he will pay for this.” Dax’s voice turns cold and I almost feel sorry for the asshole, but the moment he pours alcohol over the tender skin and I feel the searing pain all the way in my soul, I quickly lose any empathy I might’ve had.

  “Motherfucking fuck, that burns!” Tears sting my eyes. “Blow on it Dax, I swear my goddamn insides are disintegrating.” My tears pool over and stream down my face. Dax looks wrecked at seeing me in pain.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” I think he might actually be tearing up too. He blows on it until the agonizing burn is just a slight sting, and then we repeat the whole process on my left side. By the time he finishes, my eyes are puffy and I’m trembling. Dax looks like he wants to destroy someone, particularly someone by the name of Christian. At this point, I want in on whatever he has planned. It’s safe to say that any sexual tension has rapidly evaporated. Dax pulls me against him, one of his hands cradling the back of my head and the other rubbing up and down my spine soothingly. We stay that way until the pain subsides enough for the trembling to abate. He seems reluctant to let me go, but he eventually steps back.

  “We might both be taking cold showers now with how long the water's been running,” he tries to lighten the mood, but it falls flat. I’m suddenly exhausted, and showering feels like a chore. I manage to give him a weak smile, though.

  “I’ll meet you back out there, okay?” His eyes assess me, probably wondering if I’m about to faint, and with my track record, I can’t say I blame him. I nod and he turns to leave, even though I can tell it’s the last thing he wants to do. Once I’m alone, I strip down and hop in the shower. I bathe quickly, wanting to curl up on the couch with some hot cocoa and watch mindless tv for the rest of the day. I fucking deserve it. I wrap a towel around me, and walk to my closest. I pull on some black leggings and snag an oversized sweater from a hanger. Dax walks in just as I’m pulling it over my head, sans bra. My back is to him, but I don’t miss the way he white knuckles the doorknob and his eyes darken. When I’m fully covered, I turn to face him. He closes the space between us, sliding an arm around my waist. I rest my head against his chest, breathing him in.

  “We have a few hours before Chevy will be here, what do you want to do?” he asks.

  “Couch potato things,” I say, the words muffled. I feel his chest shake with laughter. He grabs my down comforter off the bed and both pillows before leading me to the couch. He situates everything before tucking me into the mound of fluff.

  “Anything else?” He strokes my cheek tenderly.

  “Well...I wouldn’t be opposed to some hot chocolate.” I smile sheepishly.

  “I’m on it.” He pecks me on the forehead before going to the kitchen.

  For the next couple of hours, we bask in our cocoon. Mom stays in her room, finishing up the last of the unpackin
g she needed to do, so Dax and I snuggle on the couch unabashedly. But everything has to end at some point, so when the doorbell rings, I know it’s time to face the music and get the answers to questions I really don’t want to ask.

  Chapter 15

  Chev looks about as thrilled as I feel to be hashing everything out. There’s things I need to know, I’m aware of that. But it doesn’t mean I want to. Once I hear whatever Dax has to say, I won’t be able to unhear it.

  “Alright, let me have it,” I say, looking around the living room at everyone. I guess you could say this is a family meeting? “Why does Christian have such a hard on for me? It can’t possibly be because of me embarrassing him that first day. I mean, the things he was saying Friday night...” My mind goes back to those few seconds he had me pinned against the tree and what he was insinuating.

  “What kind of things was he saying?” Dax scoots to the edge of his chair, his elbows braced on his knees and his hands clasped.

  “Something about us not having to be that way. Be enemies? That if I were his he’d protect me from whatever I was running from.” As if saying the words helped it click, panic climbs up my throat, nearly choking me. “Oh my god, why would he think I’m running from something? Do you think he knows about my dad?” My eyes go to Mom’s. I can see the terror she’s trying to not let peek through.

  “He said that? That he wanted you to be his?” Dax growls, his jaw clenching painfully. He stands and starts to pace the small living room. “I don’t think he knows that you’re running from your father specifically, but I’m not surprised he knows something. Feral scent is hard to mask, so if I picked up on it, I know other Bardot and Ames pack members did as well. That’s why I asked your mom to take you shopping. Washing your clothes wouldn’t do any good, you’d been around him too long. The scent was practically embedded in the fibers.” Dax looks up at me shyly through thick lashes. He’s been protecting me since the day we met and I was none the wiser. This man is so good. A bright light at the end of the dark as fuck tunnel I’ve been running through for years.