Finding You (Pack Bardot Book 1)

by M. K. Harper

  Linny,

  # 4 - I simply love how you love me. How selfless you are with that love and how much you’re willing to endure so that it can remain between us, unhindered by the Nosy Nellies, as you’d call them. But I say fuck ‘em. Let’s live for us, baby. Starting today, we don’t have to hide another second if you don’t want to. The choice is yours, love.

  P.S. Whatcha say we make it true, Linny?

  The last line draws my attention and I realize that Rumor by Lee Brice is the song playing on the jukebox. My grins grows bigger as I listen to the words. I’m trying to piece together what he could mean when Beatrix lays an envelope on the table in front of me. I look over at her but all she does is smile and nod for me to open it. With shaky hands, I pull out the contents and read over the first piece of paper. It’s a resignation letter, effective immediately. Holy shit, Dax quit his job. I re-read it, thinking my eyes must be playing tricks on me. Swallowing hard, I move to the other one. I blink, and then blink again as my brain tries to process what I’m seeing. Dax finally went through the rest of my transcripts. Transcripts that have been doctored to show my new last name and a different school than they actually came from, but they’re still my hard earned grades. And I have enough credits to graduate early if I want to. I’ll still be able to walk with my class at the ceremony but I don’t have to spend another day inside that building.

  I light up with excitement as the reality of graduating early sets in. Dax and I can be together publicly....nothing would be in the way. Just as quickly as that light builds, it starts to dim when I look across the table at Chevy. Could I leave him there on his own? The idea makes me sick. Now that’s he’s associated with me, and I’m obviously associated with Pack Bardot, I fear the fallout on him would be tenfold from before when they just got their rocks off by picking on the gay kid.

  “Hey,” Chev takes my hand in his. “I know exactly where your mind has gone, and you can stop that way of thinking right now. It’s two more months, Lin. I survived just fine before you got here. I can push through a few more weeks. We’ll still see each other every day. I’m like a parasite, honey. I’ve hitched myself to you and I don’t have any plans to let go.” Mom and Beatrix laugh, but I’m still hesitant. Not at all sold on abandoning him.

  “Your relationship needs this,” he implores. “I know it kills you to feel like a dirty little secret. To not touch him or claim him publicly. This is the answer to that problem, Lin. Take it.” Chev looks at me, his words holding so much sincerity. As much as I’m still conflicted, I know he’s right. If mine and Dax’s dynamic doesn’t change, I’m gonna start spiraling. I can already see all the problems it could potentially cause. I smile at him and nod reluctantly.

  “So you already knew what this was about?” I wave the papers.

  “Yeah, Dax talked to me about it the other day,” Chev smiles sweetly. I shake my head. The man made sure to cross all his T’s and dot all of his I’s, that’s for sure.

  “We all knew,” Mom adds. “I think it’s the best decision for the both of you. You two have grown closer every day and I know the bonding ceremony will only magnify that. If you feel bad about keeping it a secret now, I can only imagine how you’ll feel after bonding.” I nod, knowing she’s right. Without anymore debate, I pull out my phone and open mine and Dax’s texts.

  Linny: Let’s make it true.

  I reply to the song lyric, feeling the weight of our secrecy slowly start to lift. I’m not naive enough to believe that we won’t still get nasty looks or people saying things behind our backs. But our consciences will be clean. We’ll know that neither of us is doing anything wrong legally. Morally is relative.

  Dax: God, I love you...

  Linny: Love you more.

  Dax: Love you most.

  My insides flutter with the sheer amount of emotions coursing through me. In two weeks I’ve found the family I’ve always wanted. The family Mom and I always deserved. It sounds insane. Two weeks shouldn’t be enough time to fall head over heels in love. But we aren’t exactly normal, and something bigger than petty lust brought us together. When it comes time to pay, I’m not even surprised that the bill has already been covered, tip included. I’ve been flying blind all day, not having a clue where we’re headed next. So when we hop back in the car, I don’t even bother asking because I know none of them will tell me. Chev is the last to join us and when he slides in the back seat with me, he tosses me a bag of ice. I look at it skeptically.

  “For your mangled vagina,” he states. “Saw you walking a little funny.” Funny would be putting it nicely.

  “It’s not mangled, you dick! It’s just been abused. Your little stunt is gonna leave me with PTSD. I’ll never be able to have my eyebrows waxed again without having phantom pains in my lady bits!” I don’t even bat an eye at shoving the pack of ice between my legs. I sigh in relief when the coldness seeps through my leggings. Everyone turns to stare out their windows, biting back grins like it’s not freakin’ obvious that’s what they’re doing. I roll my eyes and turn to lay my head on Chevy’s lap, my beloved ice firmly locked in place. Closing my eyes, I relax as the sting starts to fade away. A few minutes later my phone dings. Cracking one eye open, I try to make out the text on the screen when it dings again.

  Dax: Baby...

  Dax: Why do you have an ice pack on your crotch?

  I bolt upright and whirl on Chevy.

  “You didn’t!” I stare at him in horror. The way he presses his lips together, I know he most certainly did. I snatch his phone away, and sure enough, the message thread to Dax is open and there’s a pic of me laying with the ice pack from just a few minutes ago.

  “You are the worst best friend ever,” I growl at him.

  “What’d you do now, Chevy?” Beatrix mock scolds him with a look in the rear view mirror.

  “He sent your son a picture of my crotch hugging a bag of ice and now I have to explain that!” I groan, knowing there is no plausible explanation aside from the truth. Someone snickers from the front seat and I glare in their direction. As if it weren’t bad enough, I guess I’ve taken too long to respond to Dax. My phone rings and his name lights up the screen. I stare at it like it’s a bomb, but before I can let it go to voicemail Chevy swipes the screen and answers the call. Pulling it away so he can’t try and talk, I send him a withering look that promises pain and his equal embarrassment.

  “Hi...” I answer blandly.

  “Linny,” his smooth voice says my name. “Wanna explain, sweetheart?”

  “Not particularly,” I pick at my nails, avoiding the conversation at all costs.

  “Not gonna work for me, babe.”

  “Fine,” I huff. “There was an incident at the salon.”

  “An incident?” he parrots.

  “Yes. An unfortunate incident.”

  “Linny,” he growls, and I know he isn’t going to let it go until he has every morbid detail.

  “Ughhh!” I throw my head back and squeeze my eyes shut. “My so-called friend locked me in a room with the Asian Assassin who then proceeded to rip out every last hair on the lower half of my body. My girly bits have been traumatized and are currently voicing their displeasure. Are you happy now?” The line goes silent.

  “The Asian Assassin?” he mumbles. “Baby, are you telling me that you’ve got a bag of ice between your legs because you got a wax?”

  “Yes, Daxton...” I gripe. Silence again. And then he howls with laughter. He’s laughing so hard that everyone in the car can hear him through the phone, which causes them to slowly join in until everyone has officially lost their shit. When a solid minute passes and he still hasn’t been able to collect himself, I hang up. I briefly consider trading in the whole lot of ‘em for more upright versions who wouldn’t take pleasure in talking about the botched state of my vagina. However, I’m already attached, so I guess I’ve gotta keep them.

  Our next stop is a super cute boutique that specializes in revamping old clothes into something new.
They have tons of band tee’s that have been cut and tied into a completely different style. We wander around for a few minutes before the sales associate finds us.

  “Hi! Is there a Linny in your group?” she asks. I smile at Dax’s nickname for me and wave my hand.

  “Perfect! If you’ll follow me, I have everything already set up for you.” Even though I don’t have any idea what she’s talking about, I fall into step behind her. She leads us to the fitting rooms and waves a hand towards the seating area for my entourage to take a seat. She directs me to a dressing room and smiles before closing the door. I turn and see a white box with a black bow wrapped around it sitting on the bench. Another little card is attached to the top, so I go for that first.

  Linny,

  # 3 - I love your attitude. Especially when whatever you’re thinking pops right out of your mouth. I want you unfiltered all the time. Your sharp tongue is a weapon and I’d be lying if I said I’m not looking forward to our first fight, just so I can marvel at the fire that lights up your eyes. And if I get to love the calm back into you afterwards? Well, I guess that makes me a lucky fucker. I saw this on display in the storefront the other day and knew it needed to be yours.

  P.S. Meet me where the sun falls away and your favorite color paints the sky.

  With trembling hands, I lift the top off the box to see what’s inside. I pull the first thing out and smile when the high-waisted leather skirt unfolds. It flares out and lands just above my knees. I grab the shirt next and nearly die of laughter when I get a good look at it. It’s a light grey color, the sides have been cut and retied so that there’s a sliver of skin peeking through. But the best part? A black and white photo of Taylor Lautner on the front with Team Jacob emblazoned across it. I snort as I pull it over my head and then hastily pull the skirt on. The outfit is actually a bit sexy. The grunge of the shirt and the sassy skirt work well together. I’m smiling like an idiot when I walk back out to my group. Chev is the first to see me and when his eyes rake over me and he pauses on the shirt, I see it the moment he makes the connection. He doubles over, laughing hysterically. Mom and Beatrix break apart from their conversation at his outburst and look me over. Mom’s lips twitch and Beatrix just shakes her head.

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Mom says. “I won’t tell him you were actually Team Edward all those times you made me watch those god awful movies.” Her eyes glitter with mirth.

  “Oh, heaven help us. That boy could do with having his ego taken down a few notches,” Beatrix smiles.

  “This is seriously the best thing I’ve ever seen,” Chevy wipes the tears from his eyes.

  “Yes,” I roll my eyes. “My boyfriend has expertly trolled me.” I laugh and shake my head too. The man is a damn expert at putting a smile on my face.

  “Oh, that fits perfectly!” The sales associate rejoins us. “The outfit has already been purchased, and we were given strict instructions for you to leave with it on.” She shrugs, probably thinking this whole scenario is weird as shit. “I thought these would look great with it,” she holds up a pair of black Doc Martins. The lace up boots will look perfect paired with the grungy-chic combo. I squeal and grab for them. After they’re haphazardly laced up, I twirl around in front of the mirror and take in the whole ensemble. A flutter of warmth radiates from my chest. It’s a little staggering to think of how thoughtful Dax is. I can’t wait for a lifetime of little gestures from him. I’m crawling out of my skin to get to my Wolf-Man, to throw my arms around him and breathe him in.

  “Okay! Time to go!” I turn on my heel and march to the front of the store to pay for the boots. The sales associate just waves me off, because of course Dax has already paid for anything I might want. I wouldn’t be surprised if he told them to keep his card on file for any future shopping I may want to do. His eagerness to spend money on me is as frustrating as it is sweet. I thank her for all her help and we head for the car. Twenty minutes later, we pull up to Bardot land and stop at the base of the cliff that leads to where I know Dax is waiting for me.

  “We’ll see you soon, love,” Beatrix turns and gives me a smile that’s so full of love that I brand it to memory. With a deep, calming breath, I open the door and exit the car. I’m standing at the bottom of the trail, suddenly nervous and also equally dreading having to climb the damn thing again, when Chev rolls down his window and hollers at me.

  “Bitch. If you keep him waiting much longer I’m gonna haul my ass up there and try to sway his fine ass to the dark side...” His eyes widen, a look of shock washing over his face. It doesn’t take long to figure out the cause. I’m growling. An actual fucking growl is coming out of me. It’s slightly more cute than threatening, but still. I’m also snarling at him like he might possibly be at risk of bodily harm from me if he insinuates touching my mate on more time. Holy fucking donkey dicks. I am certifiable. The fact that I’m two seconds away from trying to maim my best friend is a testament to that, and thankfully, enough to snap me out of the fog of jealousy I’m trapped in.

  “Oh, Chevy...never joke about trying to take a wolf’s mate,” Beatrix laughs. “Let’s go see if we can find you someone who likes matching parts.” She winks at him and they drive off. I’m still shaking off the weird moment as I start to climb. My legs burn by the time I make it to the top. I mentally make a note to start doing more cardio. I’m breathing harder, hands planted on my hips as I swivel around to try and find Dax. When my eyes land on him, it’s hard to breathe for an entirely different reason. Standing on the edge of the cliff, the setting sun casts a glow around him. He looks downright ethereal. My feet carry me closer on instinct, that pull to him drawing me closer and closer until I can see the tilt of his lips drawn up into that sexy half smirk he wears so well.

  “Linny,” he reaches for my hand and draws me against him as soon as I’m close enough. My entire body relaxes, releasing a breath that I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding. But I had been. All damn day. Every second away from him has me holding my breath until we’re back together, this primal need for me to see him with my own two eyes and know that he’s safe. I bury my face against his chest and he does the same against my neck. His scent wraps around me, making me feel safe and loved. Bringing me home.

  “I missed you today,” he murmurs, not pulling away.

  “I missed you too.” I stand on my toes and press a kiss against the hollow of his throat. I can feel his body shiver beneath my lips, making me smile. “Thank you for today.” I look up into those striking green eyes.

  “You had a good time?” he asks, stroking a thumb over my cheek as his hand rests against my neck.

  “The best.” I wrap my hand around his wrist and squeeze, leaning into his touch a little more. “Aside from the Asian Assassin scarring me and my hoo-hah for life. Other than that, you kinda blew me away, Dax.” His deep laugh makes my skin breakout in goosebumps.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll kiss it better tomorrow,” he whispers against my ear, his tongue tracing it before he nips it with his teeth. I suck in a sharp breath, my hands reaching out to steady me, only to be met with a wall of glorious abdominal muscle. My fingers flex, tightening in his shirt and a small whimper escapes me. Dax growls, a hungry sound that sends me hurtling over the edge with want for him.

  “Today sounds so much better,” I reply, my voice thick with need. He chuckles, but pulls back. His fingers lace with mine but there’s now a foot of space between us. Far too much in my opinion. I can feel this foreign, carnal need to snarl at him for denying me what I want.

  “Soon, baby. Soon.” He squeezes my hand before dropping one to reach inside his pocket. He pulls out a small box and fidgets with it nervously.

  “So, you ready to hear number two?” He peers up at me through dark, thick lashes. The sight does a number on my panties. This fuck-hot man with his sweet smile will me death of me. But what a way to go. I nod for him to go on.

  “I love all of you. Every last bit. I know that’s not one specific thing, but to me, it is.
There are two parts to you, even if you can’t feel it, Linny. But I felt your wolf when I shifted. I felt the connection to that part of you, the call of my mate. I also felt it the moment your heart broke because you couldn’t give me that part of you physically. But baby,” his hands frame my face so I can’t look away. “I don’t need some physical manifestation of that connection, our souls met and fused together the moment I shifted. It was like being lost in a desert with no water, and then suddenly there you were. The purest, most sparkling spring meant just for me. To drink from, to bathe in. One taste and you flowed through my veins, bringing me to life. It took everything I had not to bond you last night when I shifted back. Now that my wolf has connected to his mate, he wants to claim every inch. To announce to the world that you are ours, and we are yours.” I have to fight back the sudden urgency I feel to pounce on him and make good on that. A torrent of foreign emotions that I can’t quite identify are brewing inside of me like a storm. But the one front and center, I do know. Possession. The need to claim him, to make him mine in every sense of the word is overwhelming. Something inside me is screaming to do it now. To not wait.

  “But I also love the human side of you,” Dax interrupts my frantic thoughts. “The uniquely human side that hasn’t been tainted with pack politics and prejudices. Your heart is so big, and anyone lucky enough to be on the receiving end of your love and loyalty knows exactly how fortunate they are. But you also throw any semblance of self preservation out the window when someone you care about is being mistreated. We’ll have to work on that,” he laughs, but it’s a little tight. “I want you to know that human you is more than enough for me, baby. Even if I didn’t feel your wolf, and I absolutely do. So, I want to honor our human traditions, Linny. I want that link between us just as much as our mate bond.” He shifts nervously, his hand clenching over the little box he’s had a death grip on for the last five minutes. My mind is racing, trying and failing to grasp onto any clue as to what he’s talking about. When he drops to one knee, I want to slap my own damn self. It should have been obvious, but in my defense, the box doesn’t look like a typical ring box.