I Think I'll Just Curl Up and Die

by Rosie Rushton

  ‘Actually, she’s being very supportive,’ began Ruth.

  ‘Oh I see – so you told her before you own daughter! See how much you care.’

  ‘I only told her because she was here and I was sick and she guessed,’ sighed Ruth. ‘No one else knows – except Melvyn, of course.’

  ‘So you haven’t told Dad?’ demanded Laura.

  ‘No, no of course not. Not yet,’ said Ruth.

  ‘Well, I should think he will be devastated,’ shouted Laura. ‘His own wife – with that jerk –’

  ‘Laura, listen. I am not Dad’s wife any more as you know full well. Dad and I are not a couple; we’re divorced. What he does is no business of mine, and what I choose to do is no concern of his. And you are going to have to learn to accept that fact.’

  Laura burst into hot tears. ‘You’re ruining my entire life, you know that, don’t you? First of all you dump Dad, then you go around with someone half your age … ’

  Ruth sighed. ‘Seven years younger than me, actually – and I didn’t dump Dad, as you put it. He met someone else.’

  Her daughter was in no mood to listen to reason.

  ‘ … and then you get pregnant. You’ll be puking all over the place and then you’ll get all fat and gross and everyone will know what you’ve been doing. I HATE YOU!’

  She stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door. A crack appeared on the landing ceiling. Ruth sat on the bed wondering whether entering the minefield called motherhood for a second time was such a good idea after all.

  ‘We’ll talk about it some more tomorrow – Melvyn’s coming for lunch,’ ventured Ruth through the keyhole.

  ‘Then I shall be out,’ shouted Laura. ‘I have no intention of being in the same room as that pervert.’

  Ten minutes later, the telephone rang. It was Chelsea.

  ‘Hi, Mrs Turnbull, can I have a word with Laura, please?’

  Ruth called up the stairs. ‘Laura, it’s Chelsea for you.’

  A red-eyed Laura appeared at the top of the stairs.

  ‘I can’t talk to anyone,’ she sniffed. ‘I’m in shock.’

  ‘Um, Chelsea, Laura’s a little bit tied up right now … yes, tonight? All right, seven-thirty. Who? Oh, all right. Yes, yes I’ll tell her. Bye, Chelsea.’

  ‘Mrs Gee will pick you up at seven-thirty,’ said Laura’s mum. ‘So you had better smarten up pretty sharpish and put a smile on your face.’

  ‘I don’t think,’ said Laura dramatically, ‘that I shall ever smile again.’

  Laura turned to go into her bedroom.

  ‘Oh and Chelsea said … ’

  The door slammed. Oh forget it, thought Ruth. What’s the point of my making an effort when she’s in this frame of mind? I don’t suppose it matters whether she knows Jon someone or other is going or not.

  At seven-twenty, Mrs Gee rang the Turnbulls’ front door bell.

  ‘Sorry we’re early, but is Laura ready?’ she asked when Ruth opened the door. Her friend was looking markedly less pallid than when she last saw her.

  ‘Yes I am,’ Laura thundered downstairs, grabbed her bag and marched out of the house without saying a word.

  ‘I take it,’ mouthed Ginny to Ruth, ‘Madam now knows of the new arrival.’

  Ruth nodded.

  ‘I won’t ask how she took it,’ said Ginny.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Introducing Bilu

  Laura sat silently staring out of the car window all the way into town. Since her friends usually found it hard to get a word in edgeways when she was around, this was somewhat noticeable. Normally, Chelsea’s mum would have filled any awkward silences with a stream of bright chat but she was unusually subdued as well. I guess there’s a first time for everything, thought Chelsea.

  In fact, Mrs Gee was brooding on just what her husband was up to. He had left the house at eight thirty that morning, and when she had asked where he was off to, he had merely tapped the side of his nose and said, ‘Ask no questions, hear no lies,’ and departed.

  And he still wasn’t back.

  She just hoped it was a job interview, but she didn’t think it was likely on a Saturday.

  ‘I can’t wait to meet Bilu,’ Chelsea said, trying to break the silence and wondering just what had got into Laura. She had thought she would be over the moon at the thought of seeing Jon again.

  ‘Mmm,’ muttered Laura. It’ll cry all night and puke all day, she thought.

  ‘Is Rob going to be there tonight?’ Jemma asked Chelsea.

  ‘Yes,’ said Chelsea, with a dreamy smile on her lips. … I told you, he’s coming with …’

  ‘Now listen,’ interrupted Chelsea’s mum, pulling up outside The Stomping Ground, ‘I’ll meet you at eleven o’clock sharp. I don’t want to be kept waiting.’

  During those first awkward moments when you want to look as though you are with a guy even if you are not, Jemma and Chelsea grabbed a corner table and got some Cokes. Laura sat moodily stirring her drink with a straw and planning various horrible deaths for Melvyn.

  Just as she had got to the bit where Melvyn fell into a water butt and drowned, Rob turned up. Chelsea spotted him lurking by the door, and remembering her vow to go for it, she dashed over, planted a kiss on his lips and said ‘Hi, darling’. Rob turned an interesting shade resembling a lobster and scanned the room anxiously.

  ‘Come on, we’re over there in the corner,’ urged Chelsea, slipping her arm through Rob’s and pulling him across the floor.

  There was no sign of Jon but Chelsea thought it wiser not to say anything. Laura seemed moody enough without making things worse.

  Laura’s ponderings about the merits of poisoning by toadstool over death by electrocution were interrupted by the arrival of Sumitha and Bilu.

  ‘Hi everyone, this is Bilu,’ said Sumitha, as proudly as if she had hand-crafted him herself.

  ‘Well, hi there,’ said Bilu, flashing a detergent white grin at them all. ‘How are you doing?’

  ‘Hi,’ they chorused. He was tall, lean and wore immaculately cut jeans that definitely did not come from a market stall. His dark hair curled into the nape of his neck without any of those straggly bits that lesser mortals get and his broad smile revealed a set of even teeth. His carefully managed casual pose against the wall suggested that he knew he was dynamite.

  Nice legs, thought Chelsea.

  Great bum, thought Jemma.

  How could my mother do it to me? thought Laura.

  ‘So this is the infamous Stomping Ground,’ said Bilu, surveying the dance floor. ‘What are you drinking, Sumitha?’

  ‘Coke, please,’ she said breathlessly, aware that all her friends were pretty impressed.

  Bilu laughed. ‘Yes, I suppose on teenyboppers’ night that’s all we’re going to get, isn’t it? Bye bye Bacardi.’

  Sumitha looked surprised. ‘You don’t drink, do you?’

  ‘Now what made you think that, my little one,’ said Bilu in patronising tones.

  ‘Well, Dad said that Bengali boys …’ began Sumitha.

  ‘Oh, your dad. Anyway,’ interrupted Bilu, ‘let’s show them how it’s done,’ and he whirled Sumitha on to the dance floor.

  ‘What do you think?’ asked Jemma, after they had disappeared.

  ‘He’s OK,’ said Chelsea, grudgingly. ‘If you like that sort of thing.’

  ‘Which I don’t,’ said Rob shortly, looking at the door. Oh whoopee, thought Chelsea, he’s jealous.

  ‘You’re nicer,’ she whispered to Rob. Rob swallowed and said, ‘I’ll just go and get some crisps.’

  ‘Bilu’s a bit big for his boots, if you ask me,’ said Jemma. ‘What do you reckon, Laura?’

  Laura was staring into space.

  ‘Laura,’ said Chelsea, poking her arm, ‘what do you think?’

  Laura blinked. ‘About what?’

  ‘Oh for heaven’s sake,’ said Chelsea, ‘you’ve been in a dream world all evening.’

  ‘A nightmare world, more like,’ said
Laura with a catch in her voice.

  Chelsea appeared not to hear. She had to keep Rob’s attention firmly on her. What was it Mum said? ‘Sometimes a woman has to take the lead.’

  ‘Come on, Rob,’ she said and dragged a still bewildered Rob on to the dance floor.

  Jemma tried to look interested in the contents of her glass and wished someone would ask her to dance. Laura sniffed noisily.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ asked Jemma.

  ‘Oh, just leave me alone,’ snapped Laura. ‘I’m going to get another drink.’

  She blundered across to the Coke bar, blinking furiously in an attempt to stop the tears which threatened to spill over any second.

  ‘Hey, look out!’

  Laura felt something wet running down her arm.

  ‘Look where you’re going, can’t you? That’s half my Dr Pepper down the drain.’ That voice was familiar. It sounded like Jon.

  Laura peered through the semi darkness.

  It was Jon.

  Laura gulped.

  ‘Hi Jon,’ she said. Perhaps there was a God after all.

  ‘Oh, it’s you,’ he muttered, without quite the degree of enthusiasm Laura would have liked. ‘I might have guessed. So you’re as clumsy on foot as you are on a bike, I see.’

  ‘Sorry,’ said Laura, cursing herself for not appearing more sophisticated. ‘I’ve got a lot on my mind – I wasn’t thinking.’

  ‘That,’ said Jon, ‘is abundantly clear.’ Suddenly he brightened. ‘Er – have you come here with Sumitha?’

  ‘Not really,’ said Laura, who was not about to have her rival intrude on this precious conversation, even if she was now spoken for. ‘Did you come with Rob? Chelsea never said.’

  ‘Yes – I think he’s hoping that girl Mandy Fincham will be here,’ said Jon, with a grin. ‘I reckon he’s got the hots for her.’

  I wonder how that little gem of information will go down with Chelsea, thought Laura.

  ‘Is Sumitha sitting with you?’ he persisted.

  ‘No, she’s on the floor, dancing,’ snapped Laura. And then remembered that Yell! magazine said that bitchiness got you nowhere and that snide remarks were a turn off. ‘But yes, she is with us,’ she admitted grudgingly.

  ‘Oh good,’ said Jon. ‘Over here, is it?’ he added gesturing towards where Jemma sat in splendid isolation.

  He headed off in the direction of their table, all the time peering anxiously around the dance floor. Laura thought desperately for something to say. ‘Did you have a good summer?’ Damn, she thought; that was a naff line for a start.

  ‘What? Oh, yes. Yes, it was as a matter of fact,’ said Jon, frowning as he watched Bilu and Sumitha gyrating wildly under the spotlights.

  ‘Did you do loads of drawing?’ she asked. Show an interest in their hobbies, the article had said.

  Jon looked at her properly for the first time.

  ‘Yes I did. How did you know that I draw?’

  ‘Jemma Farrant told me you want to be a cartoonist,’ said Laura. ‘She’s one of my best mates – she lives next door to you.’

  ‘Oh, yes, the chubby one,’ Jon said vaguely, his gaze darting round the room.

  Sadly, he said that just as they came within earshot of where Jemma was sitting morosely sipping her drink. That’s it, thought Jemma, tears pricking behind her eyes. That is it. From now on, I’m giving up calories, carbohydrates and fat. She pushed her Pepsi away – she wasn’t sure whether it was a diet one or not and she wasn’t taking any chances.

  ‘Is Sumitha related to that guy she’s with?’ Jon asked. Perhaps there was a perfectly logical explanation for them being together, he thought.

  ‘Very distantly, I think, but not so as it counts,’ said Laura. ‘Well, put it this way; because he is some sort of distant relative of some cousin a zillion times removed, Sumitha’s dad approves of him. Sumitha approves of him because she is madly in love.’ Put that in your pipe and smoke it, she thought.

  ‘With Bilu?’ said Jon. ‘Sumitha fancies Bilu Chakrabarti?’ He sounded both incredulous and wounded.

  ‘You know him?’ asked Laura.

  ‘Yes – he’s in the Sixth Form at my school,’ said Jon.

  Of course, thought Laura. Sumitha had said he went to Bellborough Court.

  ‘I don’t think it is at all a good idea for Sumitha to be seeing him,’ continued Jon. ‘He’s a right self-opinionated, spoiled …’

  ‘Well, I’m sure that Sumitha is quite capable of looking after herself,’ said Laura. This conversation was not going at all the way she had planned.

  ‘Anyway, he’s going around with another girl in the Sixth Form – Natalie someone or other. Mind you, he changes girlfriends like most people change their socks,’ he added bitterly.

  Just then, Sumitha and Bilu reappeared with Chelsea and Rob.

  ‘Hello, Sumitha, how are you?’ said Jon. ‘You look great,’ he added shyly.

  ‘Hi, Jon,’ said Sumitha without taking her adoring eyes off of Bilu’s face.

  ‘Well, if it isn’t old Joseph,’ said Bilu, slapping Jon on the back and causing the contents of his second glass of Dr Pepper to shoot over his shirt. ‘Year Eleven night out, is it? Watching how the big boys perform?’ And he laughed loudly at his own wit. Sumitha joined in, although she wasn’t exactly sure what she was laughing at.

  Jon said nothing. Beside Bilu, he felt clumsy and stupid. Rob shot him a sympathetic glance – he knew Jon was crazy about Sumitha but he got the feeling he was on a loser there. That was the trouble with girls; the ones you just wanted to be good mates with kept coming on strong and the ones you wanted to snog never took a blind bit of notice of you.

  They all danced a lot more – all, that is, except Jemma, who by ten o’clock, was feeling really miserable. Everyone seemed to have boys after them except her. She just wanted it to be time to go home.

  ‘This is a cool place, isn’t it?’ said Sumitha to Bilu.

  ‘Not really my scene,’ said Bilu. ‘OK for kids, but if you ask me, it’s all a bit tame.’

  ‘Well, yes, I suppose it is really,’ said Sumitha hurriedly.

  He put his arm round Sumitha, who went all weak at the knees. ‘I know, let’s you and me go burn some rubber,’ said Bilu.

  Sumitha looked mystified.

  ‘Pardon?’ she said.

  ‘The car, silly!’ Bilu smirked. ‘Let’s see how she goes on the open road. We could bomb over to Ditchford Common.’

  Sumitha was apprehensive. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘Dad did say just to come here and straight home – and if I don’t …’

  ‘Oh well, if Daddy’s rules mean more to you than an evening with me, then I’ll go and find someone who …’

  ‘No, no,’ interrupted Sumitha in a panic. ‘It’ll be OK. He’ll never find out. They’re dumb rules, anyway,’ she added boldly, glancing appealingly at her friends who were listening in astonished silence.

  ‘Um, Sumitha,’ began Jemma, ‘don’t you think you ought to … ’

  ‘Oh loosen up, Jemma – you sound just like your Mummy,’ said Sumitha cuttingly. The others exchanged glances. This was all totally out of character. Bilu headed for the door.

  ‘Sumitha, you can’t – you’ll land yourself right in it with your dad if you don’t watch out. Shouldn’t you at least phone?’ Laura piped in.

  Sumitha chewed her lip. Then she took a deep breath and said, ‘See you around,’ in a voice which didn’t sound a bit like her normal one, and ran after Bilu.

  Jon let out a long, slow sigh. He stared into his glass for a couple of moments and then, turning to Laura, he said, ‘Do you want to dance?’

  Laura nodded eagerly. She’d done it. She had driven off the opposition. She had Jon all to herself.

  For the next hour, she didn’t give her mother’s pregnancy or her own approaching sisterhood another thought.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  A Night of Surprises

  Sumitha sat rigidly in the passenger seat as Bilu took bends at w
hat seemed like breakneck speed. He had put the roof down and the wind was making her eyes water.

  ‘This is some machine, isn’t it?’ said Bilu, as he accelerated even more. ‘It’s got ABS, alloy wheels – and just wait till you hear this audio system.’ He pressed a button and Mashing Swede filled the air.

  He accelerated over a hump back bridge and Sumitha’s stomach lurched uncomfortably.

  ‘Can we stop for a bit?’ she asked tentatively as the speedometer crept up to eighty.

  Bilu turned to look at her. ‘Well, yes, if you like,’ he said. ‘If that’s what you want.’

  He pulled into a lay-by and switched off the engine.

  ‘And to think I thought you were a timid little thing,’ he said, pulling her towards him.

  He’s going to kiss me, thought Sumitha. Properly. Just wait till I tell the others.

  Bilu planted a kiss on her lips and ran his fingers through her hair.

  Sumitha closed her eyes. I am in love, she thought. And I like it.

  What happened next took Sumitha completely by surprise. Bilu kissed her again, but this time pushing his tongue into her mouth and letting his hands stray into the top of her shirt. He held on to her hair and it hurt. She pulled away hurriedly.

  ‘Hey,’ said Bilu. ‘What’s with you? That’s what you wanted to stop for, wasn’t it?’

  ‘No – yes – I mean,’ began Sumitha. She wasn’t going to admit that until that quick kiss in her grandmother’s garden in Calcutta she’d never been kissed before – she dreamed about what it would be like but somehow this wasn’t quite what she had imagined. In her imaginings, he would gaze into her eyes, and tell her she was exquisitely beautiful and that he would die without her. Then he would kiss her gently on the lips and do some more gazing. She wasn’t sure about this fumbling bit.

  She gulped. ‘I wanted to stop because I didn’t like driving so fast,’ she admitted.

  ‘Oh yes?’ said Bilu mockingly. ‘Pull the other one.’ He looked at her through half closed eyes. ‘You’re a funny little thing, aren’t you? One minute you are giving me the come on and the next you are acting all prim and proper. But of course, if you don’t like being kissed … ’