Killian's Hope

by Elyzabeth M. VaLey

  “I wasn’t speaking about the battles against the Sins. Here we go.”

  They reached a small door tucked into the center of the long hallway. It stuck out against the stone, plain brown in contrast to the dull gray.

  “Go in and close the door. She will knock from the other side and only then must you open the little window. Good luck.”

  “Thank you.”

  Killian stooped and entered. The tiny space was big enough to seat an average-sized person, which meant he was cramped up, knees bumping against the wall. Inside, it smelled like just polished wood and a draft made goosebumps sprout on his flesh. The nook was almost claustrophobic, designed in a time when war waged in their lands and men came to ask for a prayer before a battle. The fortress changed, grew, transformed along with the role of the Spell Casters, but the four boxes remained, falling into disuse except during emergencies.

  Killian sighed. Emergencies or clandestine visits. Spell Casters and Guardians did not mingle. Each bound to a duty, the same, but in a different way. They had nothing to do with each other and yet, they fought the same enemy in favor of the same deities.

  A door creaked and through the crack of the wood, he saw light.

  Prudence.

  The familiar ache within him sprang to life. He still couldn’t believe she’d left him that note. She wanted him here. She wanted to speak to him. Hope flared bright. He clenched his thighs. He wouldn’t be able to touch her or kiss her. He’d barely even see her but it didn’t matter. If what he suspected was true, he’d die a happy man.

  He could hear the rustle of her robes now. Smell her sweet fragrance. The wooden bench on the other side creaked and his breath stalled in his chest.

  Chapter Four

  Prudence kept her head bowed and her eyes closed. She had already sent her prayers to the Virtues but she still remained within the chapel. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess and she desperately tried to find some semblance of order. Had she done the right thing?

  She couldn’t shake away the jitters in her belly. Usually, they would come a few days before the solstice, winding their way into her system and not disappearing until she was with him. They were worse than ever this time. Seeing him twice a year was never enough, every goodbye harder than the next, but at least there was a beginning and an end. There was no room to fall deeper in love with her mate. Now, they’d be breaking the rules, spending time together in a foreign land, away from their harsh reality.

  Pru slumped forward, covering her face with her hands. She shouldn’t have mentioned him at the meeting. Shouldn’t have requested he join the team. Aslan was right, he would be a distraction, but he was also the best. And the only person she knew she could trust wholeheartedly. In a mission in which so many things could go wrong, he was a rock she could hang on to. Killian would keep her and everyone alive, but her heart would suffer the consequences of the time they spent together. It was a small price to pay, wasn’t it? Except, two days with him could quickly spiral uncontrollably into a vortex from which she’d never be able to escape.

  She sighed.

  She would have to draw strength from deep within her core. This was her chance to demonstrate her abilities as a Spell Caster. It was an opportunity she couldn’t let pass. Besides, Killian’s life path was radically different to her own. They didn’t really fit together. A warrior and a Spell Caster. It was unheard of, against convention. The fact that every fiber of her being struggled to be with him was of no consequence. Her heart constricted and tears bit the back of her eyes. Gods, she missed him. The pain she carried with her at all times throbbed with renewed vigor.

  Not for the first time, she wished she didn’t have to choose, but one couldn’t have it all. It was either him or her calling as a Spell Caster. She was a chosen one. Blessed with magic to aid their people. Killian was a warrior, his mission to get rid of all evil, fight to the death. From the beginning, they’d known their love would never truly work out. She had just been picked to join the Spell Casters and he was already a fighter. Same cause, two different worlds. She had to be here, and he was on the field. When would they have had time for each other? Never. One of them would have had to give up their dream and they would eventually grow resentful. Their arrangement was not easy, but at least it was practical. Every six months, during the solstice, they spent time together. They’d assuage their need for each other and move on with their lives. There was no need to speak every day. No need to hold him, run her fingers through his hair, and kiss the frown from his brow. No need for them to confide in each other. No need for him to become her shoulder to cry on. No need for her to mitigate his fears.

  Yet, sending him away, saying goodbye became harder and harder. She died a little inside every time she asked him to leave and not return until the next solstice. No contact. Nothing for six months. She bowed her head. She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt him pull further away into himself every time. It hurt, but it had to be done. He was a warrior. She was a Spell Caster. Fighting to maintain the balance was all that mattered.

  “Right?” she whispered.

  The paintings on the walls stared back at her in stony silence. The Virtues, painted in their female forms, decked in elaborate robes of silk and appearing unperturbed remained silent. It was the depictions of the Sins below them who spoke. Crude, devilish, and dark, they reached for the Virtues, grasping at their robes while standing on the shoulders of humanity.

  The answer was clear. Killian’s and her lives were nothing compared to the bigger picture. They didn’t have time to worry about each other when the fate of humanity was all they should be concerned with.

  Slowly, Prudence rose. Dusting off her robes, she gave the walls one last glance. She clenched her fists. They would not allow the Sins to win, no matter the cost. Stepping into the hall, she shivered at the gust of cool air.

  “My lady.”

  She started at the boy’s pubescent voice. Large brown eyes gaped at her from beneath a fringe of too-long dark hair.

  “What is it, Elias?”

  “You have a visitor.”

  “Who is it?” she asked even though she knew the answer.

  “He said to tell you it was whom you requested.”

  She bit her lip to keep from smiling. Damn cocky man.

  “I will go to him. Where is he?”

  “Romeo took him to the North box.”

  “Thank you.”

  Changing her course, she quickened her step. The last rays of sunlight filtered through the stained-glass windows, creating a pattern of dancing colors on the floors and walls. It would have been a spectacle worth watching if she wasn’t so bent on seeing Killian. She was glad they weren’t allowed to be in the same room together, because otherwise, she didn’t know if she would be capable of not throwing herself into his arms. Prudence reached the appointed room. It was not much larger than the one on the other side of the wall. With an impatient flick of her wrist, she brought the ancient scripts on the walls alive with light. The protection spells glowed brightly for a few seconds then began to fade, remaining dim like the last licking flames of dying firewood. Sitting on the padded stool in front of the window, Pru inhaled deeply. She bit her lip to keep from gasping. Surely, she couldn’t smell him in here. Surely, it was only her mind playing tricks on her, recalling his scent from previous encounters. She dropped her gaze to her hands, staring at her quivering fingers which matched the erratic thumping of her heart. She had to control herself. Recall their true reason for being here.

  Killian cleared his throat loudly, shattering her thoughts. There was no point in delaying this any longer. Her pain would not ease so she’d just have to bury it. As she reached for the window’s knob, she swore she heard Killian’s labored exhale, as if he too were releasing something pent-up inside him. Was it possible he also felt the same pain as her? Selfish thoughts tried to surface but she beat them back. It was time to focus. Bracing herself, she slid open the window dividing them and any pretense of focus was n
early lost. Eyes blue like the ocean on a clear morning with dark irises and long blond lashes locked with hers. Her heart danced in her chest and her cheeks heated. Every fiber in her body woke up, alert to the presence of the man she loved.

  She dug her fingernails into her knees. Dear Gods, she wanted to touch him. Her gaze dropped to his lips which she could see through the fine mesh. Kiss him. Feel his warm mouth against her, breathing life into her. She looked up again and realized he did the same, taking her in like some kind of starved animal. Tears stung the back of her eyes and she averted her gaze. She had to end this quickly, before their emotions got out of hand. She glanced at the ring on her left hand. Silver with a white stone, it represented the order of Spell Casters. She had to keep her mission in mind.

  “Why are you here, Killian?”

  Silence stretched between them and she wondered if he had heard her.

  “Killian?”

  “You can’t keep the sweetness out of my name even when you try.”

  Her gaze flew to his and she saw the familiar spark in his eyes. The one which lit her up inside and out and made the corner of her lips twitch. Daredevil. She clasped her hands together, pressing the pad of her thumb against the ring. Remember.

  “Why are you here?” she asked drily, proud that at least her voice didn’t tremble.

  “You know why.”

  “I don’t.”

  “You requested me.”

  “You have received the documents.”

  “And your note.”

  “You would have tried to see me and gotten yourself into trouble otherwise.”

  “So you decided to make it easier for me by leaving a love-locked message.”

  She could hear his grin. He was holding back a chuckle. Damn man. She pursed her lips. If she smiled, she’d be opening a window of opportunity, giving them both hope when there was none.

  “Yes. And—” She paused. Here it went. “I just wanted to make it clear that this is strictly business.”

  “Yet, you requested me for the mission.”

  “What?” she squealed.

  “Aslan told me.”

  “That’s not how it happened. It has nothing to do with us. I would have requested another but—”

  “But, Pru?”

  She didn’t reply. Her head pounded as she tried to find a way to get out of the mess she had created. She could almost taste the savory sweetness of hope, stretching between them like an invisible lasso binding them together.

  “Killian, you know we can’t be together,” she whispered at length.

  “I know, but that’s not what I’m asking. Not today.” His tone was gentle, their roles reversed. One moment, she’d had the upper hand, had been dealing the cards, the next, he’d plucked them out of her hand.

  “I simply want to know: why did you request me? Why, Pru?”

  “Because you’re the best.” She grimaced at her confession. Part truth, part lie.

  “I know that, Prudence. But you just said so yourself, you could have requested anyone else. Yet, you chose me to protect you. Me. You’re telling me this is business but we’re going to have to work together without this wall between us. Why put yourself in this position when you don’t want to see me?”

  She sighed. “I told you, you’re the best in your line and this is business. We can act like—”

  “Bullshit,” he growled, the sound sending a bolt of lightning to her pussy. She closed her eyes.

  “You could have requested anyone to protect you but you chose me. Killian. The man you don’t want to see.” He lowered his voice to a dangerous baritone which made liquid pool between her legs. She couldn’t keep the truth from him, not when he was going to protect her out there. Not when she’d have to spend forty-eight hours at his side.

  “Because I feel safe when I’m with you.” She met his gaze. The triumph in his eyes was unmistakable. A sense of happiness mingled with alarm. What had she done? Her heart jumped to her throat and her head swam.

  “That’s all I wanted to hear, love. Don’t worry, Pru. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll see you soon.”

  Without another word, Killian left. Pru stared at the darkness on the other side. Her palms were clammy but her heart couldn’t stop singing, hanging on to every one of his words, looking forward to what was to come.

  “What have I done?” she murmured.

  Chapter Five

  Killian waited for the hotel receptionist to type in his details. He didn’t remember the last time his palms had been so sweaty and he wiped them hastily on his jeans. Prudence was going to kill him. When he’d spoken to Jose about making hotel room reservations, the Spaniard had immediately understood his plight and had agreed to book a room for them as a couple.

  Throughout it all, he’d envisioned a Prudence who couldn’t resist being with him and warmed up to the idea of sharing a room. She’d understand this time they’d been gifted and they’d battle the Sins together. It had all been wishful thinking.

  Things were not going according to plan. Prudence had barely spoken to him since they’d left Veritas Island. She was bent on keeping him at arm’s length and every time he attempted to close the distance between them, she retreated further away. He knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t react positively to this setup. Killian thanked the receptionist and took the hotel card key. There was no going back now. He had to try.

  Squaring his shoulders, he went toward her. She stood a few feet away from him, pretending to check the paintings hanging in the lobby, but he could already tell something wasn’t right.

  “Hey, I’ve got the key,” he said.

  She turned around to face him and his breath caught. Every time he looked at her, his heart swelled with love. She could hate him all she wanted, but being able to spend a few more hours at her side was worth it if only to tuck the memory into his soul and feed on it for the rest of his life.

  “What floor are we on?” Stiffly, she swept past him, heading toward the double elevators.

  “Eight,” he called.

  Shit.

  Everything in her body language screamed anger. Did she already know they were sharing a room? He hurried after her, entering the box before the doors slid shut. She didn’t look at him, keeping her gaze straight ahead. Worry and apprehension gnawed at his gut. He had to find an explanation for having to share a room, and quick. Hotel error and they were all booked now? Or he’d blame Jose, stating the Human Guardian had made a mistake. He’d buy the man a dozen beers if he took the brunt of the blame. Killian shook his head. Who was he kidding? He’d end up telling her the truth and begging her to understand. Why did it always have to be like this? Why couldn’t they enjoy this gift of time instead of merely seeing it as another business transaction?

  The elevator doors chimed. Killian’s stomach clenched.

  “This way,” he said, leading her to the right. “Room 803.”

  He maintained a brisk walk, barely giving her time to keep up with him, wishing to get the impending argument done with once and for all. The brass numbers on a plain brown door welcomed them to what could have been—if only for a few hours—a refuge from the outside world. Now it was a trap waiting to be sprung, the jaws of a beast about to snap.

  “This is it.”

  He herded Prudence inside and switched on the lights. A small entrance with a dark wooden desk holding a series of pamphlets and a stylish lamp welcomed them into the space. Prudence forged ahead. Killian peeked into the room to the left. It was a black tiled bathroom with a double vanity and a large bathtub. It would have been nice to soak in it with her. He sighed and moved back into the main room, following the narrow hallway and walking past the minibar and a basket full of breakfast stuff, into the bedroom. White ceilings contrasted with dark wood paneling and chrome assets. The queen-sized bed was perfectly made, little chocolates resting on the pristine white pillowcases. Prudence had thrown her jacket on the foot of the mattress and stood at the floor-to-ceiling windows, looking out. Her
hands were clasped in front of her and he knew she was pressing her fingers against the ring of the Spell Casters because that was what she always did when she was upset. There wasn’t any point in continuing this charade any longer.

  “Prudence.”

  “Why do you do this?” Her tone was icy, digging itself into his heart like a sharp dagger. “Why do you do this to us?” She wrung her hands.

  Killian clenched his jaw. “What do you mean?”

  “I told you this was business but you were intent on making it something more.”

  She pointed to the bed, as if its mere presence offended her.

  “I wanted you to be comfortable,” he said. The excuse sounded lame to his own ears.

  “So you booked a room for two? Killian, this isn’t a honeymoon. This is war.”

  Anger punched him in the stomach, robbing him of any common sense. He stormed in her direction but she didn’t back away. Instead, she straightened her posture and faced him head-on.

  “War? What do you know about war, priestess?”

  “I know that it’s not this.” She threw out her arms. “It’s not five-star hotels in a city in which we’re about to break dimensions and we could lose lives.”

  Killian clenched his fists, pressing them against his mouth to keep from shaking her.

  “Losing lives? You speak to me of death? I almost lost a man, a friend, a few weeks ago. Do you even know what that’s like, priestess? Remember who you’re talking to, Prudence. I command a squadron of men. I’m responsible for their lives. Don’t you think I know the situation we’re in? I live it. Every. Single. Day. Demons running rampant, causing blood, sweat, and tears. Nightmares come to life. Death is an almost daily companion in my line of work. So forgive me if I chose to enjoy the little stolen moments with my mate. Perhaps, though, you would prefer to be knee-deep in destruction and pain. To see someone you care about slide through your fingers. To watch his life snuff out without you being able to do anything. Is that what you want? What you’re looking for?”