Nobody's Perfect

by Steve Kirby

  “Asthmatic? His son is no more asthmatic than I am.”

  “Well.” the Sergeant said following Sam’s gaze out of the window and spying Colin in his garden

  “Without medical proof that can neither be proved or disproved, I have to go on what I am told. Now if I could have a word with Jack now please.”

  When Jack came up the sergeant fired into him Jack was adamant he hadn’t been on the millennium way with his bike but he did admit to running the engine while he had been cleaning it on the drive not in the garage and it was last Thursday not Wednesday.

  Sergeant Walker told Jack in no uncertain terms what would happen if he rode his bike on the Millennium Cycleway again; it would be confiscated and crushed.

  Jack shot to his feet.

  “You can’t do that!”

  “Yes we can and we will, what you’re doing is illegal.”

  “But I haven’t done anything, Dad! You’ve got to believe me I’m telling the truth, it’s him next door that’s lying.”

  “It’s not him Jack.” Sam said getting a little angry with his son’s outburst.

  “It was someone else.”

  “Oh I’m not listening to this crap anymore none of you believe me so sod it I’m off back to my party.”

  With that Jack stormed out slamming the door and banging down every step.

  Sergeant Walker took a deep breath.

  “According to our records there have been a number of complaints made against your son over the last few months, so it’s been decided to forward Jacks file to the Kirklees Anti-Social Behaviour Unit.

  They will contact you in about a week.”

  “So what happens then?” Sam asked looking confused.

  “Well if they feel Jack’s behaviour is such that they will apply for an Anti-Social Behaviour Order, An ASBO as it’s known. Hopefully it won’t get that far and they are able to get him back on track with your help.”

  Sam saw the Sergeant out Colin was still there whistling and pulling a few weeds up, he smiled as the sergeant walked passed.

  Sergeant Walker looked at Colin and just nodded his head, he wasn’t convinced but it was out of his hands now.

  “You!” Sam said pointing to Jack as he walked into the kitchen.

  “If you ever show me up again like that they won’t need an ASBO because you’ll be grounded for the rest of your life, do you hear me!”

  “ASBO? Who’s getting an ASBO?”Becky said her voice getting higher.

  “He will if he doesn’t stop gobbing off at people and riding his bike on the Millennium way.”

  “Aw Jack. We told you, you weren’t supposed to ride it anywhere but the track. When did he do this?”

  “Well apparently last Wednesday while your Mother was watching them.”

  “But Mum I didn’t do it.”Jack pleaded with his Mother.

  Becky threw the spoon she was holding into the sink it clattered against the plates.

  “Who’s reported him, that bloody Colin?”

  “No it was someone else apparently.”

  “Who then?” Becky said feeling herself getting angry. “

  It was old Frank.” Lizzy said coming in from the garden.

  “Who?” Both Sam and Becky said in unison.

  “Old Frank.” Lizzy said again feeling very important.

  “He lives in one of the old stone houses on the Millennium way; he’s friends with Sally’s dad.”

  “Sally? Sally from next door? But I thought you weren’t friends with her?”

  “No, we’re still friends we just don’t let you lot see us playing together, I saw old Frank coming out of their house one day last week so I asked her.

  She said they spend a lot of time together either there or over at his house talking.” Sam turned to Martin and Julie who were sat looking bemused.

  “I’m sorry about this but somebody’s lying and I’m not sure who or why at the moment. So don’t bother picking him up next Saturday he’s grounded off his bike for a week.” Jack screamed at his farther.

  “No! I’m not lying, you can’t do that. Please, please Uncle Martin tell him.” Jack began to sob uncontrollably.

  “I didn’t do it please Uncle Martin don’t let him stop me.”

  “I’m sorry Jack but you were told not to go on the millennium way with your bike.” Jack slammed his fist down on the table spilling three glasses of orange pop.

  “But I didn’t fucking do it, well fuck you all thanks for a shit birthday.” He picked up a dish of trifle and in one movement he threw it against the wall turned and stormed out of the room along the hallway and out of the front door.

  Sam went to chase after him.

  “Leave him Sam.” Becky said picking up a cloth to wipe the wall.

  “He’ll be back and you don’t want to give that lot a free show.”Sam turned and went into the garden to calm down.

  Colin looked up when he heard the door open he smiled as he saw Jack face like thunder, streaked with tears coming towards him.

  ” Happy Birthday retard.” He said laughing.

  “Fuck you you old bastard I’ll fucking get you back you tosser.” He crossed the road ran through the park onto Cycleway and out of sight.

  Colin laughed louder; Rachel came out of the house.

  ”Was he talking to you then the foul mouthed little sod? “Colin was still laughing as he passed her.

  “Time for another phone call I think.”

  The two letters came through the letterbox the following Wednesday, One addressed to Jack the other to Mr and Mrs Hawksworth.

  Sam opened theirs, he studied it for a while Becky sat on the settee watching him.

  “Very good.” Sam said nodding his head knowingly.

  “Well what’s it say?” Becky inquired.

  “Well it starts off by inviting us to attend a meeting with Jack at Dewsbury police station next Wednesday at 6-30pm.

  They want to express their concerns of the Kirklees Safer Stronger Communities Partnership into the anti-social behaviour of Jack in the Kirklees area and to formally warn him in regard of his behaviour and remind us of the consequences of his behaviour on him and his family blah - blah – blah.

  Then it goes on to threaten us as to what will happen if we don’t take them up on their kind invite, let’s see ah yes if we don’t turn up they will put Jacks details on the Partnership and West Yorkshire police Intelligence System under “Formal Acceptable Behaviour Contract” and clearly stating the conditions which they will put in place in our absence.

  Or... Formal action being taken against us for either a Parenting or an Anti-Social Behaviour Order. Yours sincerely Mike Longstaff.

  Well how can we refuse such a inviting offer.”

  Becky stood up and snatched the letter from Sam.

  “This is no joke Sam, I don’t know why you are acting like it is, this is our son we’re talking about. What if he gets an ASBO what’ll we do then eh?” Sam got hold of Becky arms and pulled her close to him.

  “Look love it won’t come to that when we tell them how him next door is just being vindictive and trying to bully us they’ll forget all about these lies and give that pillock a good talking to. Don’t worry.”

  “But I do worry Sam.” She pulled away as the doorbell rang.

  “Go answer that I’ll start the tea Mum will be bringing Jack and Lizzy back from Dewsbury soon.”

  The two PSCO’s introduced themselves as Dransfield and Corbett.

  “We are here because a complaint has been made against your son Jack with regards him racially abusing one of your neighbours a Mr Khan and when another neighbour told him to stop he became abusive towards them.”

  “When was this then eh?” Sam was beginning to lose his temper.

  Corbett looked at his notebook.

  “err... This afternoon at approximately 3-15pm.” Sam lost it.

  “That’s a load of bollocks! He’s out with his Grandma and has been all day, so you can go back and tell Mr Khan and who
ever else has been saying all this shit that they are lying.”

  “We can’t do that Mr Hawksworth, can we have a word with Jack please.”

  “Are you taking the piss? I’ve just told you he’s out with his Grandma.” Dransfield interrupted.

  “Right Mr Hawksworth just to let you know we will be sending this report in along with your comments.

  Good evening.” Dransfield ushered Corbett down the driveway, they mumbled something as they walked away.

  “Who were you arguing with sweetheart?”

  “Plastic coppers.”

  “What?” Becky asked looking confused.

  ” Plastic coppers two of them said Jack had been racially abusive to Mr. Khan this afternoon.”

  “But he’s been out with my Mum all day I dropped them off at her friend Mary’s this morning.”

  “I know that, but I don’t think they believed me.”

  The following Wednesday Sam was unable to attend the meeting, there had been a major problem at work and it was all hands to the pump, he had wanted to ring and postpone the meeting but Becky said she would take Jack on her own, Sam reluctantly agreed he didn’t want anyone to think there was a problem with the relationship.

  It was half past ten when Sam eventually got home that night, he found Becky in the lounge he could see she had been crying.

  “Becky? What’s the matter darling?”

  “Oh Sam it was horrible.” She said getting up from the settee and giving him a big hug.

  Sam held her at arm’s length and gave her a concerned look.

  “What was horrible love?”

  “The meeting that man Mike Longstaff he was horrible, he ranted and raved at Jack banged the desk, he reduced him to tears.” Sam drew his wife to him and kissed her tear stained cheek.

  “I knew I should have gone.” He said getting angry with himself, Becky started sobbing.

  “He said if we don’t sort out Jack’s behaviour that they could go to court and have us evicted from our house.”

  “That’s rubbish, that’s just for council tenants this is a private house, he was just trying to frighten you that’s all.” Sam said smiling and stroking her hair.

  “No Sam it’s not.” She said pulling away from him.

  “You weren’t there, he showed me the newspaper cutting of a family it has happened to. They are serious Sam it could happen.”

  “It’s a load of rubbish Becky.” He said laughing.

  Becky gave him such a black look.

  “Well I’m glad you find it so bloody amusing Sam, you can go with him next time and see how you like being shouted at and told you’re not a good parent.”

  “Oh I will go next time, he won’t shout at me.”

  “Yes because you’re such a big man and you know everything don’t you Sam? Well you can deal with the case worker that’s been assigned to teach us how to be good parents; she’s coming on Tuesday tea time.” Becky sat down hard on the settee.

  Sam was getting more and more angry.

  “Case worker? What the hell do we need one of those for there is nothing wrong with our parenting skills, It’s that sad bastard next door and his friends who need sorting out, didn’t you tell that bloke about them always complaining to the police and lying?” Becky got a tissue and dried her eyes she let out a calming breath.

  “Yes I did, and I agreed to the case worker because I thought if I didn’t it would look bad and I had had enough I just wanted to get out of there is that alright with you.” She began to cry again Sam’s anger vanished he sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulder.

  “I’m sorry love, I should have been there with you.” He gave her a soft kiss on her temple.

  “So what’s going to happen to Jack then?” She wiped her nose and threw the tissue into the bin and got another.

  “He’s been made to sign an ABC contract.”

  “ABC what’s that?”

  “It’s what they call a “Formal Acceptable Behaviour Contract” He agreed to be good, not swear at anybody and not to ride his motor bike on the millennium way again.

  If he gets reported doing anything like that again they will apply to the court for an ASBO against him.” Becky looked at Sam her eyes full of desperation.

  ” What are we going to do Sam?” He picked up his wife’s hand and kissed the back of it.

  “We are going to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble anymore and we’ll see this caseworker and prove to them that it’s not us who are the problem, and we’re going to do this together, ok love?”

  Chapter 14

  At 5-30pm the following Tuesday Sam answered the door to a petite brown haired hippy type person she looked to be in her late twenties, but Sam was rubbish at guessing ages.

  “Hi I’m Zoe.” The hippy type person said shooting out her hand and smiling excitedly.

  “I’m the caseworker been assigned to you.” Sam shook the hippies hand he couldn’t help thinking she reminded him of Sue Pollard the actress who played the dippy Peggy Holrenshaw in the TV show “Hi De Hi”

  Sam held back a laugh.

  “Oh, yes, right, Zoe, yes please come in I’ll take you up to the lounge, please follow me.” Sam popped his head round the door as he passed the kitchen.

  “Becks, the caseworkers here.” Becky turned round, see could see the amusement on his face, she looked at him strangely.

  “What’s funny?” She mouthed to Sam. Sam shook his head and beckoned her to follow him.

  When Becky entered the lounge Zoe was sat searching through her briefcase, she shot to her feet as Becky entered she lunged forward grabbing Becky’s hand she started shaking it like she was hammering a nail.

  Becky gave Sam a sideways look he had turned towards the window to stop himself from laughing.

  “Hi, I’m Zoe Croft I’m your caseworker.” She said still hammering the life out of Becky’s hand, Becky put her left hand on top of both their hands to stop the handshake.

  “Please sit down.” Becky said gesturing back to the settee she had just leapt from.

  Zoe sat back down and picked out the file she had brought with her from her briefcase.

  “Right let’s get started then shall we. As I said I’m Zoe Croft, and I’ve been assigned to you, now you can call me Zoe if you like and would it be alright if I call you err...” She flicked open the file and studied the first page.

  “Ah yes Sam and Rebecca Hawksworth, would be alright if I called you Sam and Rebecca?” Becky nodded.

  “Yes that’ll be fine, but please call me Becky.”

  “Thank you Becky.” She said closing the file and putting it back by her side.

  ”Right then, well, do you know why I’m here?”

  Sam never turned around from looking out of the window.

  “Well.” Sam started.

  “As far as I’m aware you’re here because we’re bad parents.”

  “That’s not it at all! No one say’s your bad parents.” Sam turned quickly from the window he was taken aback by Zoe’s change in demeanour gone had the giggly hippy type to be replaced by a very forceful young woman.

  “That’s not why I’m here at all. If that’s what you think then I may as well go now. I’m here to help you keep Jack from getting an ASBO and working together try to help him become a better person.” Sam could see Zoe took her job very seriously he felt a little bad for having laughed.

  Sam walked from the window and sat at the side of his wife giving her a sorry smile as he sat down Becky got hold of his hand and smiled back, this didn’t go unnoticed by Zoe.

  “Well now then that’s the awkward bit out of the way, shall we get on?” Sam and Becky smiled and nodded their agreement.

  Zoe picked up the file and opened it.

  “So, what are Jack’s interests, there may be groups or courses we can arrange for him to go on.”

  For the next hour they talked about Jack, his interests and what they see as problem areas, and then as Zoe was leaving she gave Becky f
our blank pieces of paper.

  “This is for you, Sam, Jack and Lizzy; I would like you all to write down some good and bad points about the other members of the family.

  Then next time I come which will be same time next week that’ll be the 17th of July, I would like Jack to be there with you two to go through it, is that alright?” Sam took a deep breath.