Undenied

by Maya Banks

  The haunting sounds of the slow melody worked its magic as they melted in to each other. Payton closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against his hard chest as he rested his chin atop her head.

  Their own little corner of the universe. No one watched them, not that she cared. They swayed and moved in a tight circle. Had there ever been such a perfect day? Not even last night when he’d gone to such lengths to give her a perfect evening. The sex was good, no, make that fantastic, but it was today that squeezed her heart. Two people laughing and carefree, comfortable with each other. Was this what it felt like to be in love?

  Her body went tense for a moment. He sensed the change in her because he pulled away to stare down at her, confusion registering in his expression.

  She forced herself to relax and give him a reassuring smile. But her heart beat with a resounding thud, hammering against the inside of her chest like a prisoner trying to escape.

  Love. Did she love him? Could she be in love with someone she’d for all practical purposes met only a little over a week ago?

  Or did the feelings they’d once had for each other come into play? She frowned against his chest. No, they didn’t count. Yeah, she’d had a major crush on Wes at sixteen, but they’d only gotten together the one weekend when they’d had sex. No boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.

  Yes, she’d had tender feelings for him then. But love? What the hell had she known about love then? And she certainly hadn’t spent the last twelve years pining for him. Hell, she hadn’t even thought about him except when conversations came up about old boyfriends/lovers.

  That could only mean that whatever connection they had now accounted for the warm, fuzzy feeling inside her.

  The song ended, and Wes returned her to her chair just as Laura brought dessert and refilled their drinks. They ate in silence, and she knew she was being unnaturally quiet, but she couldn’t wrap her brain around her almost-epiphany. Because really, she wasn’t ready to admit to herself that she could very well be in love with him.

  “You’re quiet,” Wes murmured as he pushed aside his saucer.

  She smiled, just a little shakily. “Just enjoying the night. The day. The weekend. It’s been fantastic.”

  He leaned forward, taking her hands in his. “It’s not over yet. I plan to take you back to the hotel—” he raised her hand to his lips, inserting the tip of her index finger in his mouth, laving his tongue over it, “—and make love to you all night.”

  She sucked in a mouthful of air and tried to calm her frazzled nerves. Nerves? She wasn’t nervous. She was anxious. Anxious to get the hell back to the hotel.

  “I thought you needed to leave tonight? Don’t you work tomorrow?”

  He nodded. “I do. Have to work, that is. But I thought I’d get up early and drive in tomorrow morning. Which gives us tonight.” He paused and gave her a sexy grin. “That is, if you’re interested.”

  She met his gaze head-on. “I’m interested.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?” he asked as he stood.

  What, indeed.

  Chapter Eleven

  Consumed. There was really no other word for it. His entire thought process was a study in a curvy brunette with blue eyes and a killer smile.

  Wes sat at his desk filing his latest report, cursing the fact that it was only Monday. Did it make him a pussy that he was counting the hours until he could see Payton again?

  With a disgusted sigh, he acknowledged that it probably did, and furthermore, he could give a flying fuck about that.

  He checked his cell phone for the hundredth time, just in case she’d called and it hadn’t rang. She probably wouldn’t call until after work anyway.

  “Hey, man, we’re all going to Jake and Ellie’s after work,” Jeremy said from the door. “You gonna come?”

  Wes stared up at his friend lounging against the doorframe. “Yeah, sounds good. I’ll be there.”

  “Good. You haven’t been around much lately. We were starting to wonder if you’d found better company.”

  Wes snorted. He wasn’t going to walk into that trap. “I’ll be there,” he repeated.

  “Jake wanted me to ask you to get a case of beer on your way over. The girls are taking care of the food.”

  “Yeah, sure, no problem. I’ll go home and change then head on over.”

  Jeremy nodded and ducked out. Wes sat there a long time pondering Jeremy’s innocent statement about better company. The more he thought on it, the more bothered he was.

  He hadn’t lied when he’d told Payton that he enjoyed a simple life. Beer, good times, a job he loved, a town he loved and good friends. His friends had found happy relationships, but things hadn’t changed. They were still hanging out together, living a few miles apart. Payton didn’t live here, wasn’t a part of his circle. A relationship with her beyond sex would entail change for at least one, if not both of them.

  The thought of his life changing made him uneasy. He’d always imagined that when he got ready to settle down, he’d do so with a local girl. Just like Jake, Luke and Jeremy had done. Then life would go on as usual only he wouldn’t go home alone anymore.

  Payton… Well, she didn’t seem like the kind of girl willing to give everything up to move to a podunk town for a guy on a city cop’s salary.

  Nor are you asking her to, dumbass. Way to get ahead of yourself.

  But the fact remained. She had a successful business. One she’d built herself. She’d put a lot of time and sweat into her agency. There was absolutely nothing he could offer her that she didn’t already have. There wasn’t anything his town could offer her. As convinced as he was that he didn’t want his life to change, didn’t want to leave the niche he’d created, he knew she had to be equally determined not to give up her life either.

  It shouldn’t bother him, them being at opposite ends. But it left a hollow ache in his chest. A morose feeling he couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he should be looking at this as a temporary relationship. Sex. Good times. A little fun. Nothing more.

  He had to get a grip. Being this tied up in knots over a girl… Well, it sucked. It was no way to live.

  His cell phone rang, and he yanked it up to stare at the LCD. He was annoyed it wasn’t Payton, but even more pissed that he’d reacted like a lovesick moron.

  Cool it, dude. Seriously.

  “Hey, Gracie,” he said as he put the phone to his ear.

  “Hey, Wes, how was the weekend? I thought you’d call today and let me know. Did she like it?”

  Apparently he wasn’t the only one waiting around on a call then.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Been busy.”

  “Uh huh. Jeremy told me just how busy you guys have been today.”

  He sighed at her disbelieving tone. Busted. Hell. He couldn’t help the surge of annoyance. He felt hot and itchy, like anything would set him off.

  “She liked it. Weekend was great. Look, can we hash this out later? I’m coming over to Jake’s. I assume you and Luke will be there.”

  He cringed at his snotty tone, but he couldn’t call it back now.

  Dead silence met his response. Finally she responded in a tight voice. “Uh, okay, sorry to bother you then. Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.”

  The soft click in his ear told him she’d hung up. He closed his phone and dropped it on his desk. Fuck, fuck, fuck. When had he become such an ass? And to Gracie, for God’s sake. Gracie who’d done nothing but be the best friend in the entire world to him, not to mention all the time she’d spent shopping for all the candles and shit he’d taken to Houston.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. He was losing it. Absolutely losing his freaking mind.

  Payton let herself into her apartment, kicking off her shoes as soon as she was in the door. Her feet ached, her head ached, and she needed a long hot bath.

  She tossed aside her briefcase and glanced over at her answering machine. Not that it would be blinking. Everyone called her cell phone if they
couldn’t get her at home. She didn’t even think she’d ever given Wes her home number.

  She trudged toward the bedroom, stripping as she went. Yeah, a hot bath sounded good. She could relax and call Wes while she soaked. Already, she missed him, and they hadn’t been apart a whole day yet.

  The weekend seemed an eternity away, and she was assuming that he’d want or be able to see her again so soon. The problem was, she had no clear idea of this thing between her and Wes. What had started out as simple sex had quickly become a whole lot more. What, she wasn’t sure of yet, but she knew she was in deep trouble where he was concerned.

  You love him, idiot. That’s the whole lot more you’ve been yammering about. If it was just sex, you wouldn’t be thinking about him every second of the day.

  God, she hated when she made sense. Hated it even more when she resorted to snarky internal monologue.

  “At least say that shit out loud,” she muttered. “Then it has more validity, and maybe I can admit that I’m in way over my head.”

  She started the bathwater and laid her cell phone on the side of the tub. Then she slipped out of her bra and panties and groped around on the counter for a scrunchie to pull her hair back with.

  The sound of the phone startled her, and she whirled around. Her heart sped up, and a knot settled in her stomach. Was it him?

  She yanked up the phone, not even bothering with the LCD screen. “Hello?”

  “Payton, honey, I’m so glad I caught you.” Her mother’s shaky voice filled Payton’s ears, and her heart plummeted.

  “Mom? Is everything okay?”

  A low sob echoed across the line. Was her mom crying?

  “Honey, it’s your dad. We think he’s had a heart attack. I’m at the hospital here in Galveston.”

  “Oh my God. Mom, is he…is he alive?”

  “I don’t know anything yet, Payton. They’re still working on him. I just don’t know.”

  Payton struggled to stay calm. She didn’t want to freak her mother out more than she was already, but the fact was Payton wanted to cry herself. She wasn’t ready to lose her father. Not her daddy.

  Tears pricked her eyelids as she took in several steadying breaths. “I’ll be down as soon as I can, Mom. If there’s any change, call me on my cell. I’m leaving in just a few minutes.”

  “Okay, honey, and be careful please. Don’t kill yourself getting down here.”

  “I will. I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too, baby,” her mother choked out.

  Payton hung up, numb. The sound of water filling the bathtub broke through her shocked silence, and she quickly turned off the flow. Not bothering to let the water out, she raced into the bedroom to dress and pack a suitcase. Traffic on I-45 would be a bitch this time of day, but she had to get on the road and to the hospital as quickly as possible.

  Wes pulled onto Jake’s street, drove down and parked at the curb behind Luke’s truck. The truth was, he didn’t want to be here. He’d rather go home and go to bed, figure out the muddled mass he called a brain. But he owed Gracie an apology in a big way. Besides, being here beat waiting around for a phone call he may or may not get from Payton.

  He got out of the truck and walked around to let the tailgate down. He grasped the case of beer and hauled it out. Then he kicked the tailgate back up with his knee and nudged it closed with his hip.

  He headed up the walkway, feeling more dread by the minute. It was some fucked-up, twisted-ass shit when he viewed a night with his friends with the same enthusiasm as a trip to the dentist.

  At the door, he propped the beer on his knee and rang the bell. A few seconds later, Ellie opened the door and smiled welcomingly at him.

  He followed her inside and to the kitchen to dump the beer. “Where is everyone?” he asked.

  “Out back getting the grill started. Jeremy and Michelle haven’t made it yet. They called and said Thad wasn’t feeling well, so if I had to guess they’ll either be late or they won’t come.”

  “How are you feeling?” he asked, as he folded her in his arms for a hug. At least he could try not to ruin his friendship with everyone.

  He dropped a kiss on her cheek as he pulled away.

  “I’m fine,” she said with a sweet smile. “Mornings aren’t exactly a walk in the park, but Jake’s been taking good care of me.”

  Wes grinned. “Oh, I bet he is.”

  She blushed, which only made Wes chuckle. “Go on outside,” she said, shoving him out of the kitchen. “I’m going to make some tea and then I’ll be out.” She stopped at the cooler and picked up several beers then held them out to him. “Take these while you’re at it.”

  He kissed her again on the forehead, took the beer and headed toward the back patio. At the glass door, he paused. Jake stood by the grill and Luke and Gracie stood to the side talking and laughing about God knew what.

  He took a deep breath, tucked the beers against his stomach with one arm and opened the French door with his free hand. The others looked up when they heard the door. Wes zoomed in on Gracie, though, and at the hurt in her eyes.

  “Hey,” Jake said. “Beer guy is here.”

  Wes grinned and stepped outside, closing the door with his hip. “Glad I’m good for something.”

  He passed out the beers to Jake and Luke first then turned to Gracie. They stared at each other for a long moment, and he held out a beer. “Peace offering,” he said.

  Her eyes narrowed and she took the beer. She would have turned away, but Wes caught her arm. He didn’t want to do this in front of everyone, but it would only look weird if he dragged her off to privately apologize. Besides, their group had never kept secrets.

  “I’m sorry, Gracie girl. I was an ass.”

  “Yes, you were,” she huffed, but her expression softened.

  Luke walked over to stand by Gracie and pinned Wes with a questioning stare. “You pissed Gracie off? I didn’t think it was possible.”

  “Still friends?” Wes asked. He ignored Luke’s question and held his arms out to Gracie.

  She rolled her eyes and walked into his hug. Wes folded his arms around her and enjoyed the feel of something warm and feminine in his arms. Of unconditional friendship. It was a nice feeling.

  She kissed him on the cheek. “You’re forgiven. Now if you guys will excuse me, I’m going to go see if Ellie needs any help.”

  The men watched as she walked back into the house, and when she shut the door behind her, Jake and Luke both turned to stare at Wes.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and met their stares head-on.

  “What the fuck happened between you and Gracie?” Luke demanded.

  Wes raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t like Luke to get all pissy and possessive. “I was short with her on the phone. Bit her head off. I was an ass, and she didn’t deserve it.”

  “You haven’t been yourself lately,” Jake observed. “Something bothering you?”

  “Definitely not like you to be a dick to Gracie,” Luke added.

  Wes rubbed the back of his neck. He hated these conversations, probably because they never had them. Any deep, personal shit usually seemed to revolve around the women, such as when Ellie or Gracie had problems. They never stood around and got all mushy over male shit.

  “Things are fine,” he muttered. “I just had a bad day and took it out on Gracie. She knows I love her to death.”

  Jake and Luke didn’t press, something Wes was supremely grateful for. He already dreaded the confrontation with Gracie enough, because he knew it was coming. No way she was going to let him get away with blowing her off about how the weekend had gone with Payton. And then he’d have to tell her how fantastic it was, at which point she’d want to know what the fuck his problem was if it was so freaking terrific. Then he’d have to explain his real problem. Gracie wouldn’t just laugh. She’d get all smug and say I told you so. No thanks.

  The women walked back outside, and Wes watched Jake get all gooey over Ellie. The only difference was t
his time he could understand that gooey feeling. He rather thought he might be getting the same doe-eyed expression if Payton walked out that same door.

  He concentrated on his beer, squeezing the can with his hand. Realistically his relationship, if you could call it that, was already causing problems within his circle of friends. Most were at his instigation, but they were there all the same.

  He didn’t want this awkward alienation. He wanted the same easygoing camaraderie they’d always shared. Pissing on Gracie was inexcusable, and it sure as hell wouldn’t have happened if he had his head on straight where Payton was concerned.

  It’s just sex. Treat it for what it is.

  But that thought was as distasteful as shitting on Gracie.

  He took a long chug of the beer and admitted to himself that no amount of salvaging could keep the evening from the toilet. He’d ruined it before it ever began. The sooner he carried his sorry carcass home the better, because he clearly wasn’t fit for public consumption.

  Chapter Twelve

  By the end of the week, Wes was glad he hadn’t given in to the urge to call Payton. He was annoyed, peeved and a whole host of other synonyms for pissed. He didn’t know if she really wasn’t interested in seeing him for anything besides sex, or if she was just enjoying yanking him around by the balls on a very short leash.

  Neither option was particularly appealing.

  Hell, if he hadn’t called her the last week they wouldn’t have gotten together the previous weekend, and now, again, she hadn’t gotten in touch.

  While he could understand her preliminary reluctance to make all the moves, after what he’d pulled out of the bag last weekend, it was definitely her turn. He wasn’t about to act like a desperate lapdog, panting after her every move.

  Friday nights were always a get-together night, usually at Jeremy’s, but tonight everyone was going to congregate at Luke and Gracie’s because Thad was sick and both Jeremy and Michelle were wiped out.

  Wes was determined to have fun and not let thoughts of Payton interfere in his time with his friends. Beer, good food, a UFC fight and the company of the greatest people on earth should set his spirits to rights.

  By the time he got to Luke’s house, he felt a great deal better. Jake and Ellie were already there, and Luke was manning the grill. Gracie greeted him with a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, and he tousled her hair, glad that things were back to normal between them.

  She looked as though she wanted to ask him a hundred questions, but she refrained, for which he was grateful. She could be pushy and bossy, two things he loved about her, but she always seemed to know when not to push.

  He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you.”

  She drew away and cocked an eyebrow. “What for?”

  He smiled. “Just thank you.”

  She shook her head and smiled back. “Want a beer?”

  “Am I breathing?”

  Her soft melodic laughter rang out. “I’ll take that as a yes since I haven’t killed you yet.”

  She tossed him a can and jerked her head in the direction of the back patio. “Go on out. Guys are back there. So is Ellie. Poor girl was as green as the shit growing in my fridge. I sent her out for some fresh air.”

  Wes chuckled. “Sure you don’t need any help?”

  “Nah, I’m coming out just as soon as I call the cable company and figure out why the fuck I can’t order the pay-per-view fight.”

  “Ah shit, no fight?”

  “Not if I can help it,” she muttered.

  He smacked her playfully on the ass then headed out to join the others. As he