Undenied

by Maya Banks

  stepped onto the cobblestone patio, he felt lighter. A warm breeze rippled his T-shirt, and across the back lawn, lightning bugs were starting to appear in the dusky twilight.

  He inhaled deeply, letting the scent of honeysuckle drift across his nostrils. Man, did he love it here in his small town with his friends, his life and his job. Living in a place like Houston? Definitely not for him.

  “Hey, Wes,” Ellie said as she walked over.

  To his surprise she hugged him, tucking her head underneath his chin and squeezing tight. Any hugging that went on between them was always at his instigation and not without a lot of blushing on her part.

  “Hey, what was that for?” he asked as she pulled away.

  She smiled sweetly up at him. “You just looked like you needed it.”

  His heart soared a bit higher. He knew it took a lot for Ellie to instigate any kind of intimacy with anyone except Jake. It made him pull her into his arms and give her another big hug. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and gently squeezed her.

  “Thanks, sweetness. As a matter of fact, I always need a hug from a beautiful woman.”

  She blushed and ducked her head.

  “Get the hell away from him,” Jake grumbled. “His charm is highly overrated.”

  “Says you,” Ellie said with a wink in Wes’s direction. “You’re a man. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “Lord, I hope not,” Jake said with a laugh. “The day I start understanding the sex appeal of another man, well, that’s the day to put me in a pine box and call it good. I much prefer to concentrate on the sex appeal of a certain sexy little brunette.”

  Ellie’s cheeks turned a darker shade of pink, but her eyes lit up with such joy and happiness that Wes couldn’t help but smile. It reminded him too much of the way Payton had looked at him.

  Gracie walked back outside with a pile of plates and a handful of utensils. Wes moved to help her, and she happily unloaded them on him.

  They worked together to set the patio table and Gracie hurried back in for glasses and the tea pitcher. Five minutes later, they were all kicked back watching the deepening twilight and enjoying amiable conversation.

  The sounds of crickets and tree frogs filled the air. In short, it was a perfect evening. The first stars were starting to pop in the sky, and in the distance an almost full moon peeked over the horizon.

  Luke dished up the steaks while Gracie poured tea and replenished beer cans. When they all sat, Gracie raised her tea glass.

  “To a perfect evening with good friends, those here and those who couldn’t be with us.”

  “Hear, hear,” Luke said as he raised his beer.

  Wes raised his beer in salute as Jake and Ellie raised their drinks as well.

  This was what he didn’t want to change. Ever. The idea positively depressed him. But then so did the idea of not seeing Payton again. She’d blown him off, not the other way around. And he damn sure wasn’t going to go chasing after her ass.

  His cell phone rang, interrupting a bite of steak on its way to his mouth. With a sigh, he set his fork down. He hoped to hell it wasn’t a call in to work.

  When he looked at the LCD, his heart stepped up a few beats. Payton. But why call now? Friday night, when they had no hope of weekend plans.

  He flipped it open and slapped the phone to his ear. “Hello,” he said curtly.

  “Wes, hi, it’s Payton.”

  When he didn’t respond, she continued on.

  “I, uh, thought I’d drive up tomorrow. I’d like to see you if you’re free.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Oh. I see.”

  “Sorry, I have to work,” he said, mentally cursing himself for A. lying, and B. feeling the need to soften the refusal with an excuse. It should have been enough to just simply refuse.

  “Too bad,” she said with a sigh. Was that regret he heard in her voice? The thought of that irritated him further. She had all damn week to line out weekend plans with him if she was so damn set on seeing him. “I had some unexpected—”

  “Look, this isn’t a good time,” he cut in before she could continue. It sounded rude, but he damn sure wasn’t going to pretend he wasn’t annoyed as hell.

  “Sorry to have bothered you,” she said softly before a click sounded in his ear.

  He closed the phone and let it slide down his chest before he shoved it back into his jeans pocket. He avoided the stares of the others and resumed eating.

  He heard Gracie curse softly under her breath, but he refused to look up. The steak that had tasted so damn good just moments before now tasted like a giant turd.

  They ate in silence. No one seemed willing to break it with conversation. When they’d finished, Gracie got up and began clearing the plates. When Wes stood and offered to help, Ellie stuck a hand out. “We’ll get it. You guys enjoy the evening and a beer.”

  He sank into his chair and leaned back, staring up at the sky. He heard the girls go in and shut the door. Then he mentally counted to three. Sure enough, about the time he said three, Luke cleared his throat.

  Wes righted his head and looked over at Luke. “Gracie ratted me out, didn’t she.”

  Luke’s body jerked with muffled laughter. “Yeah, she did. I held out on her until she caved.”

  “Bastard,” Wes muttered.

  “It doesn’t take a fucking genius to see you’re miserable,” Jake pointed out. “The question is what are you going to do about it?”

  Wes sighed. “It’s complicated.”

  Luke arched an eyebrow. “Judging by the brush-off you just gave her, I’d say it’s not too complicated now. She’d have to be awfully thick not to get it after that conversation.”

  Wes closed his eyes. “It’s twisted, I know.”

  “Try me,” Jake said dryly. “I know a thing or two about twisted. Twisted described every aspect of my feelings for Ellie until the time we got together. Hell, the woman still manages to tie me in knots.”

  “That’s me,” Wes said morosely. “Tied up in one big fucking knot. I don’t know my head from my ass anymore.”

  “So why the brush-off?” Luke asked.

  “It sounds stupid. I don’t want my life to change. I want to be with her, but I only want it on my terms. And she doesn’t seem to have any interest in me beyond a good fuck.”

  Luke and Jake exchanged amused glances.

  “Cut that shit out,” Wes growled. “Last thing I need is you two smug bastards gloating.”

  “Well, to address your first issue, I hate to tell you this but any time you get involved with a woman, your life is going to change. Suck it up and deal with it like a big boy,” Jake said with no trace of sympathy in his voice.

  “Yeah, but you and Luke didn’t have to change your lives. You married women who fit into the life you already had. We all still get together. We still share good times.”

  Luke burst out laughing, and Jake choked on his beer.

  “Jesus are you deluded,” Luke said around his wheezes. “Not change? Okay, I think I know where you’re headed with this. From what I’ve been able to learn from Gracie, this chick you’re involved with lives in Houston. You want the girl. You like the girl. But you don’t want to give up any part of your life here. You want to keep your friends close, carry on like always, only have the woman you want.”

  Wes nodded. “Basically.”

  Jake shook his head. “First of all, get the notion that our lives didn’t change when we got married right out of that tiny brain of yours. Marriage is all about change. It’s about compromise. It’s about wanting to make the woman you love happy. Hell, I gave up my damn colored, blinking Christmas lights because Ellie wanted the plain-ass, boring white ones. I’d do anything to make that woman smile. My first priority is her happiness. Don’t think I don’t love you guys, enjoy the time we spend together, but you and the others? Not my priority. Ellie is. Always will be. She comes first.”

  Luke nodded in agreement. He met Wes’s gaze. “I understan
d where you’re coming from, buddy. I do. But you’re going about it all wrong. What’s the worst that happens? You move to Houston and only see us every other weekend? We’re not going anywhere. We’d visit your ass, you’d come visit ours.” He shrugged. “Besides that, Gracie would have a kitten if she didn’t see you on a regular basis. Believe me when I say, the girls are way more attached to our get-togethers than we are. They’d work around the obstacles. I’m willing to bet they’d have us getting together regardless of where you ended up.”

  Wes grinned. “I love those women.”

  “Not nearly as much as we do,” Jake said, cracking a smile. “And it’s only because we love them so much that we tolerate your outrageous flirting. I swear if you don’t keep your lips off my wife, I’m going to have to rearrange them for you.”

  Luke snorted then dissolved into laughter. “I’m guessing a threesome with Ellie is out then.”

  Jake shot him a glare that would have melted lead. “You’re a twisted motherfucker. There is no doubt about that. There ain’t another man who’ll ever touch Ellie.”

  Wes held his hands up, knowing that if he didn’t stop Luke, he’d egg Jake on to infinity.

  “So you think I’m being unreasonable,” he said, directing the conversation back to his issue.

  “Look, I don’t know the whole situation. Just the bits and pieces I’ve gleaned from Gracie. I do know you sounded pissed on the phone a while ago.”

  “That’s putting it lightly,” Jake said.

  Wes sighed. “I think she’s playing a fucking game with me. I don’t know for sure. When I’m with her, she acts like I’m the only man in the world but as soon as we part, I don’t hear from her. It’s like I don’t exist. She made all the initial moves. I’ll give her that. But I wagged my ass down to Houston last weekend and spent the weekend making her feel like the only woman in the damn world. And I don’t hear a word from her all week except for Friday night when it’s too late to make any weekend plans.”

  Jake pinched his lips together in a tight line and shook his head. “Dude, I hate to tell you this, but if you’re keeping score, you’re doomed to disappointment. Relationships don’t work on an equal opportunity basis. They’re solely what you make of them. Sometimes it’s you going the extra mile. Sometimes it’s her. The beauty is in not noticing when who is doing more than the other.”

  “So you think I’m being an unreasonable dickhead.”

  Luke snickered. “Uh yeah, basically.”

  “Great. Just fucking great.” Wes closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Honest to God, I don’t know what to fucking do. I’ve only known her for two weeks. Way too fucking soon to feel this kind of angst.”

  “Do you love her?” Luke asked.

  Wes blinked in surprise at the directness of Luke’s question.

  “Forget how long you’ve known her. It’s a simple question. Do you love her?”

  Wes glared over at Luke. “That’s not a fucking simple question and you know it.”

  “Actually it is,” Jake said casually. “You have to ask yourself why you’re sidestepping the question. If you don’t love her, your reaction should be automatic. A simple no. But you haven’t denied it. Which tells me you’re fighting it tooth and nail but you’re already a goner.”

  “Fuck you,” Wes growled.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” Jake said with a snicker.

  “I—yes, I love her. Or at least I think I do. I don’t really know. The idea strikes bloody terror in my heart. I don’t understand it, but there it is.”

  “Yeah, well, join the club,” Luke said. “We’re guys. We’re not supposed to understand why we suddenly can’t live without a woman. Why the idea of being without her gives us cold sweats.”

  “Fucking pussy. God. I’ve turned into you,” Wes said mournfully.

  Jake chuckled. “The only pussy I see around here is you. I’m man enough to admit my downfall. I have one. A petite brunette with blue eyes and the sweetest smile this side of the Mississippi.”

  “I was an ass,” Wes said morosely. “I seem to have developed the habit lately of hurting the women I most love.”

  “Yeah, well, Gracie has already forgiven your ass. Now you just have to get Payton to.”

  “I don’t suppose you’d loan me your wife for lunch tomorrow?” Wes asked hopefully. “If anyone can kick my ass back on track it’s her. I’m sure she can tell me exactly how much groveling it’s going to take me to get back into Payton’s good graces after tonight.”

  Luke rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you can have Gracie for lunch. But then, Wes? Get your own damn woman. I’m tired of sharing mine with you.”

  Wes grinned. “You’re just pissed because she loves me.”

  “I love her, but I never said she had good taste,” Luke said sourly.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Payton rubbed tired eyes as she turned onto 59 out of Beaumont. She hadn’t slept much the night before. Hell, she hadn’t slept a wink all damn week. But she wanted to see Wes. She needed to see him. After spending the week at the hospital, praying for her dad to recover, she wanted nothing more than the comfort of Wes’s arms.

  She gripped the steering wheel tighter as traffic zipped by her in the left-hand lane. Monday night had been a sleepless, tense night, holding onto her mother as they waited to hear some word of her dad’s condition.

  He’d spent Tuesday and Wednesday in critical condition but by Wednesday night had shone signs of improvement after the bypass operation he’d undergone.

  Thursday, he’d been awake and alert, much to Payton and her mother’s relief. She’d stayed the afternoon with her father, telling him how much she loved him.

  Friday, her mother had all but kicked her out of the hospital with strict instructions not to return until the next week. She’d been reluctant to go, but the thought of seeing Wes again after her harrowing week was a strong incentive.

  Now she was but a few miles from town. Wes had said he had to work, but she could wait around until he got off. She’d stop to get something to eat and then call him to see when his shift ended.

  Remembering the choices he’d offered her before, she mulled over whether she wanted barbeque, Mexican or a burger. None of it sounded good, but she was hungry and needed to eat. Zack’s offered a few grill items and it was as good a place as any to sit back and relax.

  Decision made, she rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck as she drove into town. A few minutes later, she parked outside Zack’s and wearily got out of her car.

  She opened the door and headed straight for the bar. She slid onto a barstool and caught the eye of the young bartender. After placing an order for tea and a grilled cheese sandwich, she sat back and looked around the interior.

  When she got to the far corner, she froze, blinked and refocused on the table. No, she wasn’t mistaken. Wes was sitting with a redhead who was smiling up at him. He clasped her hand across the table, and she laughed at something he said.

  Working? The asshole had said he had to work. That was his excuse for not seeing her today. Unbelievable. Why lie? Why not just save them both the trouble and tell her he wasn’t interested in seeing her anymore. Or maybe she was just sex on the side while he made time with the auburn floozie.

  She seethed while she considered her options. Part of her wanted to disappear out of the bar, go home and wipe Wes Hoffman from her existence. But damn it, she hadn’t done anything wrong. She wasn’t the one spitting out lies. No way in hell she was slinking off like some shrinking violet. Maybe that was the kind of woman he was attracted to, but fuck that.

  She slid off the barstool and stalked over toward the table. Halfway there, the redhead glanced up and blinked. Probably saw the murder in Payton’s eyes. The woman nudged Wes’s hand and nodded her head in Payton’s direction.

  By the time Wes looked up, Payton was standing over the table like an avenging angel come to kick some demon ass.

  “Payton!”
Wes said, his eyes widening.

  The redhead’s eyes also widened. Then she smiled. “Oh you’re Payton. I’ve been dying to meet you. I’m Gracie Forsythe.”

  “And I don’t care,” Payton said through gritted teeth. She summarily dismissed the redhead and turned her ire on Wes. “You cock-sucking bastard. You lied to me. If you would have just told the fucking truth, you would have saved me a trip over here, not to mention the embarrassment I’m about to cause you.”

  Wes stood, holding his hand out to cup her elbow. She yanked her arm away. “Don’t you fucking touch me.” She turned to storm off, but he caught her arm.

  “Payton, please. Let me explain.”

  Tears burned her eyelids but she was determined not to cry in front of him. “There’s nothing to explain, Wes. You made yourself perfectly clear last night. I was just too thick to get it. But why the lie? Why not just tell me you didn’t want to see me? I’ve been straight with you from the beginning. You owe me the same, damn it.”

  “Straight?” he echoed. “How can you say you’ve been straight? I don’t have a fucking clue where I stand with you. You haven’t once called me. I called the week before. I instigated the weekend in Houston. I thought it was time for you to call me.” He shifted his feet and looked uneasily away before continuing, “I didn’t want to come across as a desperate loser.”

  She gaped at him. “You want to know why I didn’t call you, Wes? I was at the hospital all fucking week because my dad had a near-fatal heart attack. I didn’t have time to call you. I was too worried about losing my father. I spent the week worried sick and at the end of it all, I just wanted to see you. Be with you. No games. No scorecard.”

  A tear trickled down her cheek, and she swiped angrily at it with her sleeve. “You know what? Fuck you, Wes Hoffman. I don’t need your shit.”

  She stomped across the floor and out of the bar. Wes caught up to her as she wrenched open the door to her car. He grabbed her wrist, preventing her from getting in.

  “Payton, no. You can’t leave like this. You’re too upset to drive. Please, just stay and talk to me.”

  “Why, so you can feel less like a desperate loser? Drop dead,” she said in an acid voice. She slid into her car and slammed the door.

  Her hands shook as she jammed her key in the ignition. Finally, she got the engine started, and she turned her head to look behind her as she backed out of her space. When she got turned around, she spared one last glance at Wes as she peeled out of the parking lot.

  Wes watched her go, a relentless ache snaking through his chest. His fingers curled into fists at his sides as he sought to control the shaking.

  Everything in the last two weeks came down to this. Payton was walking out of his life, much like she’d walked back in. In a whirlwind. Only he had no desire to see her go.

  She was furious, and he deserved every bit of her anger. He closed his eyes, willing the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach to go away.

  He didn’t want to lose her.

  “I like her,” Gracie announced from behind him.

  He turned and looked questioningly at her.

  Gracie grinned. “She was ready to kick my ass. She seems a little possessive of you.”

  “She just told me to fuck off,” Wes said grimly.

  Gracie shook her head and grasped his arm. She tugged him back into the bar and shoved him onto a barstool.

  “I’ve fucked up, Gracie.”

  She made a sound of exasperation. “You make it sound like you’ve already lost her.”

  “Haven’t I? I lied to her. Now she thinks I’m screwing around with you behind her back.”

  “Men are so stupid when it comes to women, I swear. Do you think that little show was because she wanted nothing to do with you? Hell, she was ready to scratch my eyes out. A woman who doesn’t care doesn’t go to that kind of trouble, Wes.”

  “I’ve got to talk to her.”

  Gracie nodded. “Yes, you do, but before you do, you need to figure out what it is exactly you’re going to say to her once you make her stop to listen.”

  He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. What did he want to say to Payton?

  “You’ll only get one chance,” Gracie said softly. “Make it count. Don’t be afraid to lay it on the line. If you don’t, you risk losing the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”