SCARS

by Jaimie Roberts

  I nod my head because I know that no matter what, I do trust that I am safe with him. For a moment, I wonder whether I should tell Christine I’m leaving first. I look around, but I can’t see her in this endless crowd. In the end, I follow J and text her as we’re leaving.

  Me: I’ve left with him. I know you will worry, but please don’t. Trust me that I know what I’m doing.

  I hit SEND and follow J out into the parking lot. I pull my mask off as we reach a Jeep and he opens the door. Once he has me inside, my phone pings.

  Christine: You’d better text me once you’re at home. Otherwise, I won’t hesitate to call the cops.

  My eyes widen at her text, but I really shouldn’t have expected anything less from her. She’s just being the best friend that she’s always been.

  “Problem?” he asks, pointing to the phone.

  I shake my head as he starts the car. “No, just a friend worrying about my well-being.”

  “She needn’t be.”

  I smile and nod my head. “I know.” As he pulls away, I wonder where we’re going. “Where are we headed?”

  “Not far from here. It should only take five minutes.” He suddenly turns to me. “Are you having second thoughts?” I shake my head and stare at his lips as they smile back at me. “Don’t look at me like that when I’m driving.”

  My eyes suddenly shoot back up to his eyes. “Like what?”

  “Like you want me to kiss you.”

  “But I do want you to kiss me.”

  He smiles and turns his attention back to the road. “Oh, I will. I will kiss every inch of you once I get you alone.” He halts any further conversation by turning the radio on. He’s left me a pool of wanton mess by subjecting me to Justin Bieber. In an annoyed huff, he goes to switch it off again when the song stops and Ellie Goulding's “Army” starts playing instead.

  “Not a fan of Justin, I take it?” He huffs his annoyance again, but doesn’t say anything. I smile as I sink my head back into the headrest and watch him. He seems even bigger than I remember. His shoulders are broad. He practically covers the whole seat with his torso. He’s still wearing his mask, though. He is still keeping his face hidden. It makes me wonder if the police would pull him over if they saw him wearing a mask like this. As we drive, I can’t see any police in sight. Not that I want to anyway. I want to keep this going just as much as he does.

  We hit a set of red lights, but he keeps his eyes fixed on the road. I see him tightly gripping the steering wheel with his hands, and I can tell from this gesture that he’s trying to keep his emotions in check. Can he feel the air between us? I can. There is a heightened awareness that comes from being mere inches from each other. More than that, though, the sparks and electricity that I can feel running from him to me (and back again) are causing my head to do cartwheels, making me more than a little dizzy.

  I look at his hands again. Those strong, able hands seem to hold magic within their fingers. I see the tattoos. There are more on his hands than I had originally thought. I can see the Vindicta one, but there is also some Chinese calligraphy and a number. I squint to see what the number is. It’s the number sixty-nine. I go to ask him what it means when he speaks.

  “We’re not going to make it if you keep staring at me like that. I know what you’re feeling; I can feel it too. But I’m the one who has to drive.”

  I smile and reluctantly pull my gaze away. “Sorry,” I say as I notice the light is now green. He pulls away.

  “No you’re not.” I look back at him briefly and see a boyish smirk.

  Immediately, something changes in my heart. I don’t know what to call it exactly, but I know that regardless of whatever demon possesses him or whatever pain he bears on his soul, right there—in the heart of that demon—is a spark of humanity. He is not the beast he says he is… Far from it. His heart is pure, and it saddens me that he thinks otherwise.

  “We’re here,” he suddenly says, breaking the spell.

  I look up to find we’re not on the road anymore. Instead, we’re surrounded by dense trees in the middle of nowhere, and a small house is up ahead. When did this happen?

  “This looks like Norman Bates’ house.”

  He smirks, turning off the ignition. “I can assure you I am no Norman Bates.”

  I nod my head. “I know. It’s just that you’re not setting the scene very well. You’ve brought me to the middle of nowhere. You could have an axe hidden in that house for all I know.”

  J opens his door and turns to me. “I suppose you will just have to wait and see. I will go in. It’s up to you to choose whether or not you want to follow. The keys are still in the ignition. You can drive away whenever you want. Just make sure that if you do come in to bring those keys with you. I don’t really want anyone stealing my car.”

  With that, he gets out and leaves me sitting in darkness. I watch as he walks to the house and opens the door, and for a moment, I’m rooted to the spot. I can’t move. Again, every reasonable piece of logic is telling me to go, that this is nuts, and I would be crazy as hell to go into Norman Bates’ house, but I still can’t move. I know that I will go into that house despite what my logic is telling me.

  “It’s not about how you’re supposed to feel, it’s about how you do feel.”

  His words from earlier ring through my head, and just like that, I grab the keys from the ignition and head towards the house.

  I walk into the small house, but I can’t see much. No lights are on, but I know that’s deliberate. “I’m in here,” his voice calls to me.

  I look to where the voice is calling and take very slow steps around a little sofa and dining table. As I walk, I place his car keys in my purse and place it on top of the fireplace. If I need it, I know where it will be.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I wait for the fear to crawl up my skin, but all I’m met with is the sweet anticipation of what’s going to happen next. Like a beacon calling out to me, the hairs all over my body respond, knowing that he’s near. My body can sense it. I feel the tingles start as I edge closer to what looks like a bedroom. The door is partially closed, so I try to calm my pounding heart as I push it fully open. It creaks to a stop, and the first thing I see is moonlight shining in through the window and lighting up a huge bed. Standing beside that bed—in all his glory—I see him. The faceless man who is about to rob me of my virtue. And I’m about to give it to him … willingly.

  “You’re still wearing your mask.”

  “Do you want me to take it off?”

  I shake my head. “No, you don’t have to.” I walk over to him slowly, and I notice the sharp intake of breath as I near him. Does he feel it too? Once I reach him, I raise my hand up and touch those lips I have been dreaming about kissing ever since I saw them tonight. “Kiss me,” I say, breathlessly. He can tell it’s not a request.

  “Gladly,” he answers, pulling me closer to him.

  I wait with baited breath as he pulls me closer to his lips. I want so desperately to close my eyes, but another part of me also wants to capture every moment with him. His breath invades my own, and suddenly, the spell is cast. Just like that, with one tiny breath, I am his.

  “Time’s up, Beautiful,” he whispers.

  A soft laugh escapes me. “You can’t be leaving me now.”

  “There is no way I could if I tried. The time before us is up. From this time on is what really counts. I think your time was up the moment you met me, though, Lily Campbell. You will never get another me.”

  I smile against his lips. We’re mere millimeters apart from kissing now. “There is no way I could if I tried,” I answer, mimicking his earlier words.

  And then he does it. He takes that tiny movement forward and brushes his lips against mine. I moan against him, immediately going limp and submissive in his arms. This seems to heighten his excitement as he grabs the back of my head and grips my hair in his hands. His mouth forces its way into mine, and I am lost in him. I want him to devour me like I wa
s his last supper. No matter how much he gives me, I just keep coming back for more.

  As his lips leave my own, he quickly pays attention to my neck, trailing kisses all along my jaw line and down towards my shoulders. “So fucking intoxicating,” he growls against my skin. I feel his hot breath and shudder under his touch. “Do you know how much it turns me on to know how affected you are by me? Sweet Lily,” he breathes, kissing me tenderly on the cheek. “Sweet, precious Lily.” His lips touch my neck again, and my head goes back in surrender. With it, my eyes close, and I let myself be taken by the feel and smell of him. I moan as his kisses scorch my skin, sending shockwaves through me. I can feel myself burning up—a desire like no other is ready to burst at any moment.

  “J,” I whisper, pulling at his shirt. I want it off. I want his skin on mine. In a frenzy, we start to undress each other. I can’t tell which of us is most eager to get the other undressed. It’s almost as if we have a competition going, wagering who can get the other undressed faster.

  I manage to unbutton his shirt and pull it off his arms. I can’t see all of him, but what I can see is magnificent. I have never seen an outline of a chest as sculpted to perfection as his is. It makes me take stock for a moment as I trail my fingers over his soft skin. I feel no hair, but I can see the dark outlines of something else. He has tattoos everywhere. They don’t cover all of his skin, but a lot of it.

  With an urge so great, I step forward and start kissing his chest before tiptoeing to get to his neck. I feel so tiny and vulnerable against his monstrous frame. For a fleeting moment, I think about the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk. J is that giant, and right now, I want him to gobble me up.

  “Magic beans,” I whisper as the words leave my lips without my brain engaging.

  “What?” he asks in an amused tone.

  “Nothing. Just kiss me.” He does as asked, and it’s not long before we are bare against each other. The only thing blocking us now is my bra and panties and J’s boxer shorts.

  “Are you still sure about this?”

  I look up to his face, but I can’t see much now. The moonlight has shifted away from us, so I feel safe in what I do next. I raise my hand, and guide my fingers underneath his mask. I think he’s going to stop me, but he doesn’t. I pull it off his face, but I still can’t see him very well. What I do see takes my breath away, though. I trace the outline of his face with my fingers before pulling his hand up to my chest. I let him feel my heartbeat just as he let me feel his earlier. “Just as you said, my heart belongs to you. I’m ready.”

  J grabs my wrist and picks me up. He carries me the very short distance to the bed before placing me down gently on the covers. The cold of the sheets hits me, making me shiver.

  “Are you cold? Do you want me to wrap a blanket around you?”

  I shake my head. “No. You’re all the heat I need.” I pull him towards me, seeking out his warmth. His body is like fire against my skin, and soon, all signs of cold are gone as another fire rages inside me. With every kiss and touch, my desire climbs.

  “Sweet Lily,” he whispers, pulling my bra strap down and kissing my shoulder. As he tugs one side, my breast is exposed, causing him to bend down and place my hard nipple in his mouth.

  I moan, bucking my hips up to meet his in an effort to get closer. “J,” I cry, running my fingers through his hair as he gently licks and bites on my nipple. Once he feels it’s had enough, he pulls my bra off completely and starts paying attention to the other nipple. “J, please.” I’m begging and I don’t care. I have been waiting for this for what seems like a lifetime.

  “Don’t make me rush this. I can’t rush when it comes to you.” I hear the breathless desire in his voice and can understand in that instant what that means. For him, this is easy. For me, though, it’s my very first time, and he doesn’t want to hurt me.

  I grip the sheets as he descends down to my belly, planting kisses as he goes. The begging word is on the tip of my tongue, but I hold steady. I know it will just drive him crazy otherwise. As he reaches my hips, he pulls my panties down, planting kisses as he goes. Every touch of his lips on my skin feels like a bunch of fireworks are going off. Once he rids me completely of my clothes, he hovers above me for a moment. It’s almost as if he’s drinking me in. As his head descends, he pries my legs apart further and inhales deeply. “Hmm, fucking sweet-scented Lily. I could taste you all day.” I moan at his words. Just those alone are an aphrodisiac. I want him inside me, but I also know that I’m apprehensive about what that will feel like. “I’m going to work you up, okay? I want to get you nice and wet.”

  I say a strangled yes, but I already know just how wet I must be for him. I was ready from the moment his lips touched mine.

  His tongue sweeps quickly and delicately between my thighs at the crevice of my pussy. I buck and cry out, unable to hide the rising feeling. Just that one little touch of his tongue, and I know I’m coming already. As he licks my clit, I try with all I have to hide the strangled cry that’s about to erupt from my mouth. I don’t want to come so soon. I want to be able to cherish the feeling of his warm tongue against me for as long as possible. He flicks his tongue once, twice, three times, and I know I can no longer hold it in. It’s coming, and it’s coming fast. “Oh, shit, J!” I scream, letting him know that it’s coming. I think he’s going to stop, but instead, he picks up his pace. With one more flick of his tongue, my back arches, and I grip the sheets, screaming his name as I fall apart around him. The room is dark, but somehow I see sparks of light over my head. “Fuck,” I whisper breathlessly without meaning to.

  “Fuck, indeed, baby. Do you know how fucking beautiful you sound when you come? I want to last longer than you did, but I don’t think that’s going to happen with me.” He kisses the inside of my thigh and reaches over the bed to grab something. I hear a rip, and I know he’s putting a condom on.

  My adrenaline kicks up a notch. I know he’s going to enter me soon, and I know it’s going to hurt like a bitch. I tense.

  “Relax, Beautiful. I’m not going to hurt you.” With his words, my muscles release their tension, and he climbs on top of me. He leans in and kisses me hard, making my desire come quickly again. “Are you ready?” I nod my head. “Okay, I’m going to go as slow as you want me to, okay?” I nod my head again, and I feel him shift his weight on top of me. Once he’s comfortable, I feel the tip of his erection prodding at my entrance. I tense up again, but immediately relax because I know this is what I want.

  He eases in slowly, and at first, it doesn’t hurt at all. In fact, it feels good. He eases in a little bit more, and I hear his breathing becoming labored. It makes my need for him stronger. “Keep going,” I say, breathlessly.

  “Thank fuck, because it’s so hard to not move. You feel incredible.” With that final word, he inches in some more, and I start to feel the stinging. Shit, that burns. What I read is correct. It does fucking hurt.

  “Are you okay?”

  I try gathering myself enough to nod my head. My breaths are coming in thick and fast as I try to calm away the stinging. “Let me know when I can move.”

  I feel badly for him. I can tell he’s desperate to move, but he doesn’t want to hurt me. “Please, keep going.”

  He doesn’t hesitate. He moves slowly at first, easing me into the pain. It is still painful, but with each stroke it eases a little. After a few more movements, the pain turns into pleasure. I move my hands down to his hips, grabbing at them and pulling him in deeper. He growls, picking up the tempo a bit more. “Shit, Lily, you’re going to make me come quick.”

  His words coupled with his movements send waves of pleasure running all the way through me. My adrenaline spikes, and with it another orgasm grips me tighter than the first one. “J!” I scream, as it keeps going and going. J just speeds up faster, grunting and moaning as he goes. With one roar, he goes completely still inside me and flops his body on top of me.

  We lie like that for a while until our breathing calms, and I
find myself in total bliss. I close my eyes and let my fingers dance up and down his back. I can feel ridges against my fingertips, and I know there are more scars there. I don’t ask him about them. I don’t want to ruin our moment. It was everything I thought it would be—and more.

  “Just when I think it can’t get any better with you.” He pulls his head up and gently kisses the tip of my nose. I smile, but when he pulls out, I wince. “Sorry. Are you sore?”

  “A little,” I admit.

  “I’ll go to the bathroom and get you a cloth.” I watch as he disappears, and I soon hear the toilet flush and water running. In an instant he’s back and he crawls in between my legs. To my surprise he gently wipes me with a wonderfully warm cloth. It instantly soothes me.

  “Thank you,” I say, feeling lightheaded.

  “No sweat.” He gets up, taking the cloth with him, but within a minute, he’s back again and laying next to me on the bed. I wonder what will happen next. Does he expect me to want to go home now? He quickly answers my unspoken question by pulling me into his arms and stroking my hair. For ages, we lie in each other’s arms, and I feel my eyes growing heavy with sleep. It isn’t long before I succumb to the inevitable.

  “Lily, wake up.” I hear his voice and wonder if I’m dreaming. If I am, then I don’t want to wake up. “Lily, it’s almost midnight. I have to take you home.”

  My eyes flutter open, and for a moment, I wonder where I am, but then his sweet scent hits me, and I instantly relax. “Why did you wake me?” I grumble. I was having the most relaxing nap.

  “It’s almost midnight. Isn’t that your curfew?”

  I smile, knowing that he must think that because of all the times he’s followed me home. “No. It’s just a curfew I put on myself.”

  “But what about your friend? Christine, is it? She will worry if you don’t text her.”

  I pull my head up to meet his. “How do you… Never mind,” I say, getting up. I walk out of the room and reach into my bag. I pull out my cell and send her a text.