High Lonesome

by Coverstone, Stacey

  “Let’s not fight, darlin’,” she purred. She reached around to squeeze his butt, causing him to jump. “I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again. Cross my heart. Can we please kiss and make up?”

  When she started to suck his earlobe, Scott eased away, uninterested in making up or making out.

  Jo backed up and glared. “That’s not exactly what I call making up.”

  “Beth could come back into the room anytime,” he offered as an excuse.

  “Fine!” She rolled her eyes and stalked across the room. “I had another reason for coming over anyway. I wanted to remind you about the ribbon cutting ceremony tomorrow night at the hospital. Is your dark suit clean?”

  He leaned his head against the mantle and closed his eyes. “With everything going on, I completely forgot about the dedication,” he groaned.

  “Well, you’re still coming, aren’t you?” Joanna’s eyes grew wide. “You know how much this means to me. I’m on the board. What will it look like if my boyfriend doesn’t show up?” Her voice suddenly rose to a shrewish shriek.

  “Calm down,” Scott said, taking a step toward her. “Of course I’ll be there. I promised you I’d go, and I’m not a man to break promises when I make them. You know that.”

  “Thank you,” she said, calm again. “Meet me in the lobby of the new wing at seven o’clock. Okay?”

  “I’ll be there.” He sighed, determined he’d end things with her after the dedication.

  She strode back to him, put her hands on both sides of his face, and kissed him again. “And, please, get a haircut and shave before tomorrow night. You look like Grizzly Adams.” She reached for his hand and dragged him to the front door. “I don’t want to leave. I wish I could stay.” Her lower lip plumped.

  Scott looked away. “Joanna…”

  “I know. I know. That woman and Willow are both in the house. I lose out again. At least I’ll have you all to myself tomorrow night.”

  He felt like a royal jerk as he told her goodbye and watched the taillights of her car fade in the distance. After locking the front door, he tiptoed to Willow’s room and stood at the doorframe. His heart constricted at the sight before him.

  Beth was stretched out on Willow’s bed with her head resting against the headboard. Willow was snuggled in the crook of her arm, and both of them were sound asleep. A book lay open in Beth’s lap. Scott stood there for a while, imagining what it would be like to see the two of them that way every night.

  He also allowed himself to wonder how it would feel to have Beth lying in his arms. Kissing her good night, and making love…Waking up next to her warm body each morning.

  It’s no use hoping for something that’s not going to happen. When someone comes for her, she’ll leave and I’ll never see her again.

  He turned and stomped up the stairs to his bedroom. He knew Beth would stir before long and find her way back to the guest room. There was a night light in the hallway to guide her way.

  But how would he sleep when he couldn’t get her beautiful face out of his mind?

  Chapter Six

  Willow crossed the finish line with her little legs pumping and hair flying out from under her pink hat. Midnight’s black mane flapped with the wind. He snorted with glee as if he recognized he had just run a good race.

  “What’s my time, Daddy?” she yelled the moment the bay skidded to a stop. Scott pressed his finger down on the stopwatch.

  “Twenty-three point three three six!”

  “Yee haw! I’m getting better.” The seven-year old waved her hat in the air and bent to nuzzle the gelding’s neck.

  “Is that good?” Beth asked. “She looks ecstatic, so it must be good.”

  “It’s good,” Scott replied, beaming with pride.

  “It’s pretty darn close to being a winning time for pole bending in the Little Wranglers competition.”

  Willow walked Midnight to the gate and gave Scott a high five. He and Beth were standing side by side. “What do you think, Beth? Do you think my horse and I can win at the rodeo?”

  “I sure do. I’ve never seen any rider fly as fast as you.”

  Willow giggled. “I bet you’ve never even seen a rodeo before!”

  “Okay. I’m busted. But I still think you’re the best.”

  “I love you,” Willow blurted. “I wish you were my mommy.”

  Scott’s gut gripped. He knew Willow was growing close to Beth, but his daughter’s heartfelt honesty startled him. He had no idea she felt that way. It just went to show, he wasn’t as in tune with her feelings as he should be. Willow needed a woman in her life, someone who would love her and care for her as a mother. The twinkling blue eyes that mirrored his gazed longingly up at Beth. Too tongue-tied to speak, he felt color flood his face.

  Covering the child’s hand, Beth smiled and replied, “That’s such a sweet thing for you to say. You’re very special to me, Willow.”

  Scott could see Beth didn’t know what else to say. It was an awkward moment. She’d been put on the spot, but she’d handled the situation with class and compassion.

  He patted Willow on the knee. “That’s enough practice for one morning, honey,” he said, changing the subject. He offered her horse a treat. “Midnight needs his rest. Go put him in his stall. We’ll walk up and meet you at the barn.”

  “Okay, Daddy.” Willow nudged her horse forward using her spurs. They were moving toward the barn when she got about fifty feet and stopped. Turning the horse in a circle, she shouted, “Daddy, are you going to kiss Beth now?” Then she threw her head back and laughed like a hyena.

  “Go on, you squirt!” he hollered.

  She spun her horse and kept laughing as she trotted down the path that led to the barn.

  Scott flashed his crooked grin at and shrugged. “Out of the mouths of babes. Sorry about that. I don’t know where she comes up with some of the things she does.”

  Beth smiled. “Don’t worry about it. She’s a sweetheart. Children say what they feel. Wouldn’t it be great if adults were half as honest as kids?”

  Scott shoved his hands deep into his pockets and stared at the ground. He began them strolling down the gravel lane. “What she said just now…”

  “I know what you’re thinking,” she interjected, “and I won’t let her get hurt. She’s an amazing little girl. I care for her very much.”

  “I guess it’s natural for her to wish you were her mother. The two of you have gotten close in a short time. You act like a mother with her. Playing games, reading to her, watching her ride her horse…”

  “I’ll talk to her, but I’ll be very gentle,” Beth assured him. “You know, you’re doing a wonderful job raising her. Don’t ever doubt that for one minute. She’s crazy about you.”

  Scott thought about that for a moment. What Beth said was true. He was a good father, but he also knew little girls needed a female role model.

  “I’ve had help,” he admitted. “My dad was a terrific grandpa to Willow when he was alive, and Carmen, of course, is like a granny or a crotchety old auntie. My little girl’s been surrounded by a lot of love.”

  “It shows. That’s all a child wants and needs.” Beth stopped in the middle of the lane and faced him. “Scott, I don’t mean to change the subject, but I’d like to talk to you.”

  “Sure. I’m all ears.”

  She twisted her hands together. “I’m starting to remember bits and pieces about my life. It’s just as Doctor Coleman said. I’m realizing the flashbacks are more than dreams or hallucinations.”

  “Tell me.” The sun was beating down on them, but neither noticed, nor cared. He wanted to hear what she had to say, even though he feared the words might turn his world upside down—again.

  “I’ve been having more visions of a little girl. She’s got dark hair, just like mine, and she’s very happy. She giggles and smiles.” Beth paused. “I see myself pushing her on a swing. In one flashback, she was skipping around a garden picking flowers. I was reading to her in anothe
r.”

  Scott’s brow knitted together. “Are you sure it’s you pushing her in the swing? Maybe she’s a neighbor’s child, or a niece.”

  “No. I feel a connection to her. A very strong connection.”

  A lump crawled up his throat. “Are you able to see her face in these visions?”

  Beth took a deep breath before answering. “Yes. The last time, I saw her as clear as if I were standing right in front of her. Her hair is cut into a pixie style, and she has big brown eyes. There’s a dimple in each cheek and her eyelashes are long, curled up like a little doll’s. I think she’s my child. She looks like me.”

  Scott rubbed his chin and stared into her eyes.

  “There’s something else,” Beth said. “The man I told you about is in every flashback. He scares me. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s dangerous. He yells and is very angry. I think I’m connected to him, too, and he’s hurt me.”

  Scott scowled. “How? Is he the one who beat you and left you in the desert?”

  “I don’t know. But I had an actual memory this morning of being shoved by some strong hands. That could be how I got the knot on my head.”

  Scott kicked the dirt with the toe of his boot. “Whoever he is, he’s a son of a…”

  Beth laid her hand on his arm to stop his rant. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought you’d want to know what I’m remembering.”

  “I do. I’m glad you told me.”

  She nodded, looking relieved. “What do you think this means? Doctor Coleman said I might not be able to differentiate between what’s real and what could be random thoughts or hallucinations. I’m confused. I hope I don’t have an abusive husband. I’d be so ashamed to find out I’ve been living with a violent man and subjecting a child to that sort of environment. I couldn’t forgive myself.”

  Scott lowered his head and started walking again. She didn’t seem like the kind of woman who would be with a man who abused her. But he knew some women became trapped in domestic abuse with no way out. She fell back in step with him. “Have you been able to decipher this creep’s face yet?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “Maybe I just don’t want to see it. I know he’s tall and muscular, and physically strong. When I experience a flashback, I can almost feel his powerful grip on my arms. His eyes are wild—they look out of control. That’s the best description I can give so far.”

  “Let’s not jump to conclusions about any of it. Let’s think this through,” Scott suggested. She was living the terror of the flashbacks. Strong emotions could lead to irrational thoughts. He had to be the voice of reason in order to help her. They walked without speaking for several yards, each lost in their own thoughts, when a piercing scream punctured the air. It came from the far arena.

  “Come on!” Scott punched his hat down and took off running, with Beth following close on his heels. When they reached the arena, five of the six High Lonesome house guests were gathered in a circle. “What’s going on?” Scott stepped into the group and raked his gaze over all of them. “Is someone hurt?” His pulse pounded through his temples.

  Cody knelt in the dirt, examining the bloody knee of one of the female guests. The knee of her jeans was ripped and tears streamed down her dust-soaked face.

  “Diablo kicked her, boss,” Cody replied. “She has a pretty nasty gash. Rowdy went to get the four-wheeler so we can transport her to headquarters.”

  Scott clapped him on the back and then addressed the injured woman. “Marilynne, we’re going to take you to town to see a doctor. How are you feeling? You look a little peaked.”

  “I think I might faint,” she replied in a weak voice.

  “I’ll get her some water,” Beth offered. She jogged into the barn and fetched a bottle of water from the cooler in the corner. Apparently, she’d remembered seeing the cooler the day Scott gave her the tour.

  After twisting off the cap, she handed it to a man who had his palm on Marilynne’s back.

  He tipped the bottle into Marilynne’s mouth. “Hang in there, honey. Help’s on the way.”

  Rowdy drove in on the four-wheeler. “Hey, boss. I just called Doc Coleman’s office. They said to bring her on in.”

  “Thanks.” Scott and Cody helped Marilynne to her feet. She slung her arms around their necks, and they placed their hands under her legs and lifted her into the four-wheeler. Her husband jumped in the back. The other guests waved and called out good wishes as Rowdy drove up the hill.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Scott watched as Beth stepped inside the barn. She didn’t look right. “Cody, finish what you were doing with these folks before the accident. We’ll let everyone know how Marilynne is later today. You handled that emergency well.”

  “Thanks, Scott.”

  The group disbursed and Scott strode to the barn. Beth sat on a wooden stool with her eyes closed and her forehead in her palms.

  “Another flashback?” he asked, quietly, kneeling at her side.

  “Yes. My head began to throb when I saw Marilynne on the ground.” She narrated the flashback as if she were speaking of a scene in a movie. “He’s twisting my arm. His eyes are bulging with rage. He’s slapping me across the face. He’s giving me a hard push. I’m flying across the room and into a wall.” She pressed her lips together and bit back a scream.

  Scott stood and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, wishing he could reach into her mind and punch the guy in the face.

  A moan slipped from her mouth as if coming from a wounded animal. Her entire body trembled under his touch. “Is it over yet?” he asked.

  She nodded and lifted her head.

  He gently brushed loose tendrils of hair out of her face. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes. Seeing Marilynne in pain must have triggered it. I’m getting closer to the truth, Scott. I can feel it. And it makes me more afraid than ever.”

  “You said he pushed you into a wall. I take it you still don’t know how you ended up in the desert.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Could you see the man’s face this time?”

  “No. Why can’t I see him, when I can see the little girl so clearly?” Tears sprang to her eyes.

  “You’re probably blocking him out because the whole thing is so frightening. You don’t want to remember him. I wonder if it would help for you to see a counselor, or a psychologist or a hypnotist.”

  Her eyes stung with tears. “Do you think I’m crazy?”

  “No! Of course not. I’m worried about you. I just want to help. I don’t know what to do. I feel powerless. It’s just like when Maggie died in my arms.”

  They looked at each other for a long moment, and then she wiped her damp eyes with her shirtsleeve. “I’m sorry, Scott. I’m being selfish. I apologize for bringing up painful memories.”

  “I didn’t mean anything by my comment. There’s no need to apologize. This isn’t about me.”

  She stood up on wobbling legs. “Is your guest going to be okay?”

  “Yeah. Rowdy’s taking her to town. Joanna will stitch her up and Marilynne will be back on the trail within the hour. They always are.”

  She smiled. “In other words, she’ll cowgirl up.”

  “That’s right. But what you’re going through is more complicated. You don’t have to cowgirl up right now.”

  Beth inhaled a deep breath. “We’d better go get Willow. She’s going to wonder what happened to us.”

  “If you’re sure you’re okay,” Scott said.

  “I’m fine.”

  On their way to the other side of the barn, Scott placed his hand on the back of her neck. “Everything’s going to be all right,” he told her. She shivered under his fingertips grazing her neck and then made a slight, but noticeable, movement to step away. Did the touch of any man scare her? Or was Beth trying to send him a message, a reminder that he was taken? After this last flashback, there seemed to be no doubt that she had a man in her life, too.

  ****

  During lunch,
Willow kept them in stitches with a series of knock-knock jokes. It wasn’t so much that they were laugh out loud funny, it was her delivery. She made such goofy faces and heehawed at her own jokes. Once the giggles started in Beth, she couldn’t stop, and the trickle effect took place. Scott and Carmen laughed so hard, tears streamed down their cheeks.

  It felt good to release all that pent-up emotion. With the flashbacks coming with more frequency and clarity, Beth needed a distraction more than ever.

  “I have an announcement to make,” Scott said, pushing his plate back.

  “Oh, goodie. What is it, Daddy?”

  “Willow, how would you and Beth like to go to a fancy party with me tonight?”

  Beth tossed him a surprised look.

  “Yes!” Willow screamed, clapping her hands. She jumped off her stool and started to dance around the kitchen, clogging in her pink cowgirl boots. “Where are we going, Daddy?”

  “There’s a ribbon cutting ceremony being held at the hospital to celebrate the dedication of the new wing.”

  Willow stopped dancing and sighed. “That sounds boring. I thought you said it was a party.”

  “Well, they’re going to be serving hors d’oeuvres.”

  “What are those?”

  “Tiny sandwiches you eat with your pinkie finger sticking up.”

  Willow giggled and stuck her pinkie in the air. “What else will they have?”

  “Miniature cakes and baby pickles and weird cheesy things wrapped in bacon.”

  “I love bacon.” Willow mulled over the possibilities. “Will there be dancing and singing? Will the Four Fiddlers be playing?”

  Carmen chuckled. Beth raised her eyebrow, and Scott explained. “They’re a local bluegrass band. For some odd reason, Willow loves them. They play at all the rodeos. I don’t think the fiddlers will be at this event, honey,” he informed his daughter.

  “Rats!”

  “The best part is,” Scott continued, “you can dress up real pretty and be a little lady for once. Wouldn’t you like that?”