Finding Solace

by C. J. Allison

  “I wasn’t sure that I wanted to expose myself to all that hormonal wedding shit. I decided to just cook. Have you eaten? I have plenty to share. If you want to join me that is,” I say, continuing to tend to the omelet.

  “It smells delicious. Pam made a spread, but the girls seem to be diving in pretty hard. There may not be anything left by the time we got back there, anyways. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  “Not at all. Pull up a seat. It’ll be ready in a few. I’m planning on adding cheese, if you don’t mind?”

  “You make it the way you like it. I’ll just sit here and enjoy the view. I can’t stay too long, though, these curlers need to come out soon or I’ll look like Shirley Temple,” she says, taking a seat at the table.

  I add cheese and cut the omelet in half. I grab two plates and two forks and get it plated. I bring the plates over to the table and set one plate in front of her. Handing her a fork, I take a seat and grab her hand.

  “This is going to sound weird, maybe, but it’s a bit of a family custom to say a prayer when you eat at the table. My dad insisted on it and it’s just something that I’ve always done,” I say, bowing my head.

  I watch as she smiles and tucks her head into her chest squeezing my hand. “Can I say it?”

  And there she goes again, pinging the old heart muscle. I get a lump in my throat. I feel like a damn pussy but damn she knows just what to do and say.

  I swallow and nod my head knowing I couldn’t say anything right now.

  “Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to have the opportunity to have breakfast with Zeke. Thank you for bringing him home to share in this wonderful occasion of seeing Akia get married. It means the world to her that he is here.” She pauses and gives me a one-eyed glance and smile. “Bless this food that we are about to partake of. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, Amen.” She squeezes my hand one more time and clears her throat.

  “Well done, thank you,” I say. I know she probably doesn’t know how much that truly meant to me.

  Her first bite causes a moan that jolts me straight to my groin. I try to adjust my chair so I can cover my growing erection.

  “Oh my God, Zeke. This is incredible,” she says, rolling her eyes.

  The images that shoot through my brain are anything but innocent. I picture her making that face and moaning while I’m deep inside her. Christ, it’s just breakfast and I’m rock hard. I try to say something to get my mind off of my uncomfortable predicament.

  “So…how are the girls holding up over there?”

  “As good as can be expected…I guess,” she laughs. “Akia is buzzing and ready to get this day over.”

  “Well, I for one can’t wait to see the finished product of you. Seriously, you could throw on your dress and go just as you are. You are incredibly beautiful. I’m going to be honored to have you on my arm today,” I say, reaching out and running my fingers down her cheek.

  She leans into my hand and closes her eyes. “Dammit, Zeke. I’m the one honored that you can look at me like this and still say those words. Okay, I hate to leave you with a mess, but I need to go. These curlers need to come out like now.”

  “I would have had to clean up anyways. Thank you for joining me. I’m looking forward to seeing you later. Go…”

  She jumps up and leans over placing a soft kiss on my cheek. Rushing out the door, she says a happy sounding goodbye. I hear the door click and I place my hands on my head. I’m a goner.

  Gracie

  I’m sitting in the living room having curlers put in my hair. I’ve never had this done before and not sure why I’m subjecting myself to this now.

  Pam comes in and asks if I’ll go over and invite Zeke over for breakfast. Really? I’m in curlers and a robe. I look at Akia in hopes that she will save me, but she just shrugs her shoulders and laughs.

  Bitch. Okay, I’m doing it. If he can get over seeing me like this, maybe he is worth investing my time in. This is a test of all tests here. I’m not one to shy away from a challenge. Besides, I can look pretty scary at times. I really like him. I mean I really, really like him. I need to know this isn’t a fling for him. I don’t like playing games, but I just need assurance that this is actually something that could be something.

  I stand up and square my shoulders. “Well ladies, if he accepts me like this, he may just be a keeper.”

  Akia laughs and says, “Oh girl, he is a keeper. You are just the one to snag him. You may be in curlers and a robe, but I bet a million dollars he doesn’t blink an eye at that.”

  Shit if she wasn’t right. He complimented me the moment I walked through the door. He continued to make me feel like I wasn’t in a robe and curlers the whole time I was there. If I’m not mistaken, he was even a bit turned on by it all.

  I could see him becoming emotional while I was saying the prayer. It took everything in me to keep calm and not get emotional myself. He seriously is amazing. I bet he’s broken a lot of hearts over the years, and I bet he’s felt bad about each and every one.

  I’m pretty excited to see him in a tux. I still can’t believe Akia paired me up with him. I wonder if she had something planned all along. I wouldn’t put it passed her.

  We are all dressed, and I can’t believe how good my hair turned out. I don’t normally wear a lot of makeup, so I didn’t want anything overboard done. The girl that was doing our hair and makeup did a great job at keeping me looking natural, but man did she make my eyes pop.

  I love that Akia let us pick out our type of dress. We are all in the same color and length, just all different styles. The color is soft lilac and makes me feel feminine with the lace bodice and flowing chiffon skirt that just reaches my toes. With a pair of simple strap heeled sandals, I feel like I want to go out to the field and just spin while watching the skirt flow out. It reminds me of my first Easter dress that I wouldn’t stop twirling in. I think I wore that dress every chance I got.

  We all pile into the limo and head over to the church. Akia looks amazing and the glow around her is almost mesmerizing.

  Zeke

  “Is this pink or purple? What the fuck is up with this color dude?” Doug’s best man, Jared, complains as he looks down at his tie.

  “It’s lilac,” Doug says, shaking his head.

  “What’s lilac and how do you know what color lilac is?” Jared says, still turning the tie back and forth like it’ll change color miraculously.

  “It’s Akia’s favorite color. I like it. Stop being a pussy and complaining,” Doug says, hitting the tie out of Jared’s hand.

  “Of course, you like it. You have to like it. I don’t have to like it,” Jared says, playing with the tie again.

  “But you have to wear it. You can take it off once the pictures are done and we are at the reception. Quit cussing, we are in a church.” Doug leans around Jared to me and says, “You want to switch places with him and be my best man? At least you have the decency to stand here and be quiet.”

  I chuckle and say, “Nah, I don’t want to lose who I’m paired up with, but thanks for the offer.”

  We are standing in the front waiting for the music to start. I hear the preacher clear his throat, and I laugh at how Jared goes rigid straight at the sound.

  I can’t take my eyes off of Gracie as soon as I see her. All the people simply disappear. Once her eyes meet mine, they never lose contact the whole way up the aisle. Her hair flows over her shoulders in long curls, even softer looking than last night.

  She breaks eye contact when she turns left to take her place on the opposite side of the church. With the eye contact broken, my mother comes into full few sitting near the front on the bride’s side. She’s looking between me and Gracie with a huge smile on her face. She touches a hand to her heart and gives me a quick thumbs up. I shake my hand and laugh at her antics.

  I see Gracie is looking at my mom as well but with a face more of panic than humor. When she meets my eyes again, I give her a wink and a smirk that brings a smile back to her face.


  I can’t even tell you what Akia looked like. I can’t even begin to remember anything at all that happened. I never take my eyes off of Gracie the entire ceremony. When I finally meet her at the middle of the aisle, I take a deep breath and let a feeling of utter calm fall around me. I jut out my elbow and pull her hand and arm through mine. Placing my hand over hers, we walk down the aisle together. In my mind the color of her dress changes to white, and I know I’m done. I think it’s time to talk to my dad and get some advice on what I’m supposed to do now. I think I know, but I need his intuitive expertise.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Departure

  Zeke

  I’m standing in the middle of the apartment holding a sobbing Gracie tightly in my arms. It’s killing me I have to leave her. The week after the wedding flew by so fast. Every moment I had I tried to spend with her.

  The evenings at the gazebo were my favorite. We would ride horses up and watch the sunset together. Sometimes we would sing, sometimes we would talk, and sometimes we would just sit in silence. We always took the same position. Me with my back against a post and Gracie between my legs, resting against my chest.

  We never made it past kissing. Although the kissing got pretty heated, one of us would always slow it down. It’s weird, but I felt like if we had sex, it would somehow taint what we are building. Believe me, I feel sex is very important in a relationship. It creates a strong bond between two people. However, I don’t want this to be looked at as just a chance to get down her pants.

  “I hate to see you cry, my sweet girl. I’m going to miss you so bad, can you give me a smile please? I don’t want the last image in my head to be of your tears until I see you again,” I say, leaning back and using my thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

  She gives me a weak smile in return. Dipping down, I lift her face in my hands and press our noses together.

  “Before you know it, it’ll be Thanksgiving and we’ll be together again, yeah?” I feel her nod her head and sniff.

  “So, you are planning to come home then?” she asks.

  “Couldn’t keep me away. I already booked my flight and requested the time off from work. I’ll be back the Tuesday before and plan on staying until the Monday after. I’d love for you to come visit me. Any chance you can get some time off work? I’ll pay for the flight,” I ask.

  “Wait, you already bought your ticket for Thanksgiving? Why didn’t you tell me? Do you really want me to come visit you or are you just saying that to make me feel better? I never take time off. We start to slow down in October. I can afford my own plane ticket, Zeke. Oh my God, I’m rambling like an idiot.”

  “But you are no longer crying and that gorgeous smile is back on your face. Besides, I kinda love it when you ramble,” I say, pulling her back into my arm and tucking her head against my neck.

  I feel her sink into my arms and let out a deep breath. “Okay, I feel better, a little. I’m still going to miss you terribly, but now at least I have something to look forward to.”

  “Let me look at my schedule when I get back. I may only be able to take a few days off, but if you come down on a Friday and leave the following Sunday, that will be almost two full weekends. Plus, we’ll have every single night together. All night together,” I finish in a deeper tone, almost a growl.

  “Mmmm, even more to look forward to,” Gracie says, kissing my neck.

  “Keep that up, sweet girl, and I’ll miss my flight,” I say, kissing her forehead just as I hear a knock at the door.

  “My evil plans to keep you here have been foiled,” Gracie says.

  “It’s open,” I say reluctantly.

  My mom and dad walk in, and my mom stops, noticing us in an embrace. “Sorry, Zeke. Hi Gracie, we didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “It’s okay, Mom. I think we are good, right, Gracie?”

  “Yeah, I think we are good,” Gracie says, tapping my chest and taking a step back.

  “You ready, boy? We need to get on the road. Gracie, are you coming with us?” my dad asks.

  “I want to, but I can’t. Call me when you land. I’ll see you soon,” she says, giving me a kiss on the cheek, backing away, and rushing out of the door.

  My mom tries to stop her, but Gracie dodges her. “Zeke, is she going to be okay?”

  “Yeah, if I have anything to do with it, she will. She may not know it yet, but it’ll be all good,” I respond.

  I’m more apprehensive about getting on the plane than I was about coming here. The only thing keeping me going is knowing the plans I have set in motion. I hated lying to her about coming home for Thanksgiving, but I hope the end result will make up for it. I just need to get her down to Texas sometime in October and my plan will hopefully play out the way I want.

  On the plane, I purchase the Wi-Fi package and sent off a video message to Gracie.

  “Hey, sweet girl. I’m in flight and was thinking about you. Miss you already. Please tell me you will look into coming down to visit me in October. I’ll make it worth your while, promise. Anyway, I’ll call when I land. Hope you are having a good day. Talk soon.” I hit the end video and send it to her with a smile on my face.

  Gracie may be clueless but I have several people in on the plan. I just hope that plan doesn’t blow up in my face.

  Gracie

  I decide to go ahead and clean up the apartment to keep my mind off of Zeke. Of course, it doesn’t exactly work, since this is where he slept. The smell of his cologne engulfs me. There’s not much to clean. Zeke did a good job of cleaning up after himself. The bed is even made. I brought over a laundry basket to put in the dirty sheets and towels, so I start to dissemble the bed. As I peel back the comforter, his smell becomes stronger. I just want to crawl in the bed and pretend he’s here with me.

  My phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and smile when I see it’s a text from Zeke. When I open it, I see that it has a video attached. Hearing his voice sends the usual tingles down my spine. That smirk of his is adorable, too.

  I’m not sure how to respond, so I just send back a smiley face with hearts with eyes. I lift a pillow to take off the case and a piece of folded paper drops to the bed.

  When I open it, I see it’s a note from Zeke.

  Gracie,

  I sprayed this pillow case with some of my cologne. Put it on your pillow and think about me when you lay your head on it every night. I’m counting down the days to I’ll see you again.

  Anyway, miss you, sweet girl. Talk soon.

  Yours,

  Zeke

  I get a lump in my throat as I pull the pillow case up to my nose. I end up finding several more notes stuck around the apartment in various places. Each one is as sweet as the last.

  I finish up and head over to the main house. As I’m getting ready for bed, Zeke calls. We end up talking for almost an hour. I tell him I’m going to look at booking a flight for the last week of October. Halloween in San Antonio sounds fun. We hang up, and I rest my head on my Zeke pillow and fall quickly to sleep.

  Zeke

  The end of October is perfect. It gives me time to make sure I have everything done and ready.

  I call my dad and tell him we have until the end of October. He laughs and says that shouldn’t be a problem. He already has the wheels in motion for me. I can’t wait for Gracie to get here. She’s going to be surprised and hopefully happy.

  Work tomorrow is going to be interesting. I’ve already given them the heads up, but I’m sure I’m going to have a lot of things to attend to in order to make this a reality.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Surprise

  Zeke

  I’m standing at the baggage terminal waiting to see Gracie come down the escalator. I’m fucking nervous. She’s going to be in my territory. In my condo. Hopefully in my bed. Our first time together. I’m getting hard just thinking about it.

  Plus, there is the whole fact of where this is going to end up. With any luck in the direction I want it to.


  I’m trying not to pace. I look up and see her smiling face. When she reaches the bottom of the escalator, she takes off running. I square myself for the impact. Once she is in my arms, I know I’ve made the right decision. I lift her up as she wraps her legs around me. My hands grab her ass, and oh, what an ass it is. Feeling her press her lips against mine is even more incredible.

  We grab her bags and head out to my truck.

  “Got some things planned for this week. Most of which will be a surprise. I got the week off of work, so I’m all yours,” I say as we head to my condo.

  “Oh wow, that’s great. I’m so excited. I’ve missed you,” Gracie says, grabbing my hand.