Lust & Trust

by Amanda Cain

  “Why aren’t you dancing? You’ve turned away every guy who has approached you. All they are asking for is a dance, not a lifelong obligation!” Char had stopped back by to check on me and apparently to chastise me as well.

  “Are you spying on me? I laughed. “I’m not in a dancing kind of mood. Besides, I’m getting a kick out of people watching.”

  I had never been a fan of meeting men in bars or clubs. I always teased Char that she had snagged the last good man that ever walked into a club. The typical guys I ran into were narcissists only looking for one night between the sheets.

  Marriage and long-term commitment might not be my thing, but neither was one night of sex with some sweaty asshole I’d never see or even wanted to see again. I usually stayed to myself or with friends whenever I was at a bar or dance club—much to Char’s chagrin. Char was convinced I could still meet a good man in a bar or anywhere for that matter.

  She shook her head. “Well, I don’t go out often and feel like dancing. I’m sitting at a table closer to the dance floor. Why don’t you come sit back there with me?”

  “The music is too loud back there and the bar is farther away from the band. Don’t worry, I’m a big girl and can handle myself.”

  “Suit yourself, bestie.” She kissed my cheek and went back to her table.

  As I sat at the bar nursing my wine, I observed a young couple at the other end of the bar that appeared to be arguing. I couldn’t tell what they were saying over the deafening music, but they were throwing their arms up, pointing and gesturing at each other. Another couple a few seats down from me were deep into some serious PDA.

  The band was doing a pretty good rendition of Maroon 5’s “Sugar.” I decided maybe dancing might be fun after all and was about to go find Char, but then the song ended and the band announced they were taking a short break.

  “Am I following you or are you following me?” a deep voice behind me asked playfully.

  “What?” I turned around. “Oh shit!” I blurted, startled to find the man I had just been fantasizing about was standing behind me.

  “Not exactly the greeting I hoped for,” he said, smiling, exposing dazzling white teeth.

  “I know this is a small town, but this is what … the third or fourth time we’ve been in the same place at the same time? I figured I should at least introduce myself. I’m Ryan,” he said. Turning to face the bartender, he ordered a Heineken and glanced at my glass to order me another.

  “Either we have very similar tastes, it’s fate, or you’re stalking me.” I smiled back at him.

  “Let’s go with fate,” he said flashing a smile. He had this incredibly wicked half-smile that made his eyes sparkle, emitting a cocky confidence, yet it was boyish enough to hint at vulnerability. I wondered how many women he had charmed the panties off of with nothing but that smile.

  “That’s twice today you’ve greeted me with “Oh shit!” Do you greet everyone that way or am I special?” He was still standing, despite the empty stool next to him.

  “You caught me by surprise—both times. Well, you literally caught me the first time.”

  “Glad I could help.” His eyes traveled my body, ending at my high heels. “You look fantastic in those shoes, but are they worth the risk?”

  “They are when your only five-three.” Intense heat traveled across my cheeks. I imagined they were turning that lovely shade of pink from earlier. I hoped the bar was dark enough he wouldn’t notice.

  “Thank you for the wine.” I motioned to the new glass that now sat in front of me.

  “Anytime. Do you mind if I sit?” he asked, placing his hand on the small of my back, invading my space. A shiver ran down my spine. Just the slight touch of his hand resting on my back caused my fun zone to wake up all tingly and aroused.

  “Not at all.” I nodded toward the empty stool next to me.

  “So what’s wrong with being five-three? I prefer petite women.”

  “I’m going to assume you’ve never been in a grocery store and had to ask someone to reach the top shelf for you,” I said, laughing. I guessed his height at about six feet.

  “No, I haven’t. But I’m sure you don’t have any trouble finding someone to help you.”

  “You’re right. There is usually some kind soul willing to help out a short girl. But despite the potential for falling on my butt, I like wearing heels. They just feel kind of sexy.”

  “On you, they’re sexy,” he agreed. “But to be a fair, I think you’d be sexy with or without the shoes.”

  I felt a quiver of excitement pinging my nether region. I was starting to wonder if he might be worth pursuing, so I decided to take a chance and find out if he lived locally. “Do you live in Colorado?”

  He leaned in a little closer, allowing the side of his arm to rub against mine. Did the lights in the bar just flicker? They must have since all the electricity in the room just shot through my body. I’d never felt this kind of sexual arousal just from being near a man. Was he feeling the same chemistry?

  “Passing through, heading out in the morning. What brings you to Estes Park?” he asked.

  Oh well, so much for taking a chance. He doesn’t live here, which confirms he’s just looking for a hookup. Tempting.

  “A wedding,” I said, deciding not to volunteer any information.

  “Not yours, I hope?”

  “Why yes it was. I thought rather than be with my husband on our wedding night, I would spend it sitting at the local tavern talking to a stranger.”

  “Lucky for me, but if I were him, you wouldn’t be leaving your hotel room for at least a week.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You do know I’m kidding, right?”

  “Of course. But I wasn’t. It would be at least a week.”

  What a week that would be!

  I thought it best to ignore his last comment. “For someone who wants to get married, Estes Park is a perfect place for a wedding.”

  “Someone who wants to get married,” he repeated. “Does that mean you’re not interested in getting married?

  “Marriage isn’t necessarily for everyone.” Why did I volunteer my anti-marriage feelings to a guy who was more than likely on the prowl for a quick night of sex? “What brought you to Estes Park?” I asked, trying to put the focus back on him.

  “On my way to somewhere else.”

  “Really? Vague much?”

  Ryan stared at me with that panty-wetting half-smile and a glint in his eyes. His stare told me he was elusive on purpose. A man with only one goal on his mind.

  Char popped back up to the bar and ordered a beer. “Hey! You’re the guy with the great ass from this afternoon!”

  “Why thank you.” He winked at her, not at all embarrassed. They exchanged greetings. Char grabbed her beer, faced me, and silently mouthed, “Soo hot!” She turned back toward Ryan, “I’m going back to the dance floor. You two enjoy yourselves!”

  “Char, it’s getting late, and we have to head out in the morning. Don’t you think we should go?” I gave her a pleading look, hoping she would realize I wanted an escape from Ryan. My attraction to him might be intense, but he didn’t live in Colorado and wasn’t looking for anything beyond tonight. I needed to leave before I did or said something stupid.

  “Nonsense, we don’t have to get up early. You’ve got a babysitter for Sierra so we can take our time in the morning.” Glancing at Ryan and then at me, she left for the dance floor without listening to my protest. We knew each other well enough that Char was fully aware that I was asking for an escape. I knew she wants me to be in a relationship, but come on, did she really think Ryan was the kind of guy looking for a commitment?

  “Sierra? You have a child?” Ryan asked.

  “Yep, she’s two, beautiful, and the love of my life.”

  “But no husband?”

  “No.”

  I thought about asking him if he had any kids but didn’t want to know that much about his life. What would be the point?

  Wh
en I told him I had a child, he leaned back, out of my personal space, which he had been invading. His brow creased, and I had the distinct impression he was trying to determine if it was worth going forward with his pursuit or if he should walk away. It didn’t take long for him to decide.

  Despite the dim bar lights, I could see the gleam of desire flicker in his eyes as he searched my face for a sign that I might be into sharing a night of animalistic lust. Given his incredible looks and the chemistry I felt, I was tempted. My brain and my body were at war. My brain screamed for me to walk away, while my body begged me to stay. I had known Ryan for only a short time, and though trying to feign control, my stomach was in knots, my nerves raw, and my panties wet. I was sure this man had the ability to both rock my world and destroy it.

  I decided to make this easier for both of us. “I really do appreciate you breaking my fall today … and returning my keys. But we are going separate ways in the morning, and I’m not going home with you tonight. Not much sense in swapping life stories, is there?”

  Ryan looked a little startled but then asked me my name, acting like I hadn’t just tried to blow him off.

  “Emma,” I said. Looking into his eyes, my mind went back to my previous fantasy as I imagined him ripping off my clothes, his soft lips gently kissing the inside of my thighs … Damn, it had been too long since I’d been with someone.

  Definitely time to bail. The two glasses of wine I’d had were enough, any more and I might not stop myself.

  The musicians returned from their break, and the loud music made talking impossible. Ryan leaned in and put his hand on my back, brushing his lips against my neck, his warm breath tickling my skin. He let his hand slide down, and I started to tremble. Was I actually hoping he would kiss me? What was wrong with me?

  “Emma …” His voice vibrated gently against my ear. “I’m going to Colorado Springs in the morning. Any chance you’re going my way?”

  I bit my bottom lip. “No.” I shook my head in what felt like slow motion. Then in an uncharacteristic move, I grabbed a pen off the bar and wrote my number on a napkin. “But if you ever find yourself in Denver, give me a call,” I said, handing him the napkin.

  Sliding off my seat, I left to find Charlotte. I felt Ryan’s eyes on me as I walked away. I turned around in time to watch him glance at the napkin as he shoved it into his pocket and left. I was surprised at myself for giving him my number… but it didn’t matter. He would never call. He wasn’t the type. Come morning, we would both be going in different directions. The rugged, beautiful man with brilliant green eyes, whose simple touch sent an electrical current through me strong enough to light an entire football field, would forever remain a fantasy.

  Chapter 3

  Emma

  The next day, after the drive down the mountain, I took a short nap and awoke around 10:00 AM. The sun was shining through the curtains, casting a light over my bed. Smiling as I stretched under the sheets, I was happy to wake up in the familiar surroundings of my own room in my soft, oversized bed.

  My mind drifted to Ryan and the sexual attraction I had for him. I didn’t know anything about him, and yet I still wanted to jump him. Not normal for me, but admittedly exciting. I thought about how aroused I felt when he ran his hand down my back. I took the fantasy a little further in my mind and allowed my own hand to slowly travel south underneath my underwear and between my legs.

  ***

  I gave Sierra a hug. “Sure wish you were able to bring Mamma a cup of coffee.” I got out of bed and took a shower.

  Charlotte had planned a cookout for later in the day, other than that, all I wanted to do was enjoy a lazy afternoon. I grabbed a cup of coffee and stepped outside with Sierra. I hung my new feeder on a tree outside my back door and was even more pleased with my purchase when I saw the sun’s reflection bouncing off the glass mosaic tiles, creating a kaleidoscope of colors.

  Sitting on my patio swing, I thought about Ryan. Well, not so much Ryan but my sexual intensity toward him. I wondered if it was possible to feel that type of chemistry and sustain a relationship with someone.

  Around noon the phone rang.

  “Emma.” I heard the unforgettable, deep voice on the other end and knew it was Ryan.

  “I am at a restaurant called the Dusty Boot. How soon can you be here?”

  The Dusty Boot was around the corner from me. How did he know I lived nearby? I remembered I had written Greenwood Village by my number on the napkin last night. Which now, looking back on it, felt a bit desperate.

  “What? Who is this?” I asked, playing coy.

  Ryan chuckled. I’m sure he saw right through my act.

  “I’m in Denver and thought you might be hungry. Can you get a babysitter for Sierra? And if so, how long till you get here?”

  Not sure how to respond and not wanting to answer with regard to Sierra, I said, “Be there in fifteen,” and hung up.

  Ryan was in Denver. It made sense; he would have had to take Interstate 25 on his way to Colorado Springs and I-25 runs straight through Denver. Was he just stopping in Denver for lunch on his way, or did he have ulterior motives? Was I willing to sleep with him? I decided to wait and see how this played out before thinking about that.

  First, I called my neighbor Randy to see if he could watch Sierra for me. Randy and his partner, John, loved Sierra. They often helped me out with her if I was going to be late getting home. Then I threw on a sexy, short sundress, some sandals, put on some pale pink lipstick, and ran a brush through my blond hair, which always appeared a little disheveled. I quit fighting it a long time ago, and most of the time I had a slight bedhead thing going on. Ten minutes later I was out the door.

  I spotted Ryan from the sidewalk. He was sitting at a table outside on the restaurant’s patio. He watched me as I walked toward him. His intensity made me a little uncomfortable. Several women at the surrounding tables were watching Ryan. Crap, what was I doing? This guy could be with any woman he wanted.

  As I got closer to the table, I saw Ryan shake his head as he spoke to the waiter. “What the hell am I doing?” he asked. The waiter glanced up as I arrived and gave me a half-smile, the knowing smile that implied he was privy to some secret. “I think your selection is excellent,” he said to Ryan.

  “What was he talking about?” I asked.

  “The waiter? He was commenting on my choice of appetizers and women.” Ryan grinned. “I took the liberty of ordering you a glass of chardonnay. Damn, you are beautiful,” he added, staring at me with a sincerity that sent goose bumps down my arms.

  “Why thank you, Sir Ryan.” I blushed. “I thought you were on your way to Colorado Springs?”

  His eyes, flickering with excitement, traveled up and down my body, assessing me.

  “Plans changed,” he said matter-of-factly.

  The thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should have told someone I was meeting him here. What did I know about this man?

  “Hope you’re as hungry as I am,” he said. I had a distinct feeling he wasn’t talking about food.

  “And if I had preferred red wine instead of chardonnay?” I said, trying to be difficult.

  “I would order you a glass of red, but I doubt you prefer red. I believe it was chardonnay you were drinking last night?”

  He was right, and I was impressed that he remembered what I had been drinking the night before. “What is it that brings you to my neck of the woods?” I asked.

  He let a slow, sly grin cross his face that tore at both my heart and my loins. “I woke up this morning, found a note in my jeans pocket, and thought it’s been awhile since I’ve been to Denver.”

  I was pretty sure his plans didn’t include traveling the rest of the way to Colorado Springs after lunch. We were both aware that sex—in particular, sex with me—was what brought him to Denver. I tucked that thought away somewhere in the back of my mind where the agenda wouldn’t seem so obvious.

  “So, Ryan, where do you live and what do you do for a livin
g?” I asked, attempting to lighten the mood.

  Ryan’s eyes drifted away from mine. He stared off into the distance, and his body language changed. He took a sip of his wine and turned his attention back to me.

  “I live in Chicago, but as a consultant, I travel a lot for work.” He appeared tense and offered no further information. Instead, he changed the subject. “That’s a great dress, and I was right. You’re sexy with or without the heels.”

  “Thanks.” I laughed nervously.

  Our waiter delivered the appetizers.

  Ryan tilted his head as he looked at me. He must have known I was nervous. “What do you like to do when you’re not attending weddings in Estes Park?” Ryan asked.

  “I like being outdoors, for one. I’m a programmer and spend a lot of hours behind a computer screen, so when I’m not at work, I enjoy the fresh air. Running, hiking, swimming, or even just sitting in my backyard.”

  Using his forefinger and thumb, he ran his hand over the light stubble on his chin. “Everything you named is pretty much a solitary activity.”

  “I’ve never thought of it like that before, but I guess you are right. I don’t really like competitive sports. What about you, what do you enjoy doing? Besides sex,” I added and wished I could have taken it back as soon as I said it.

  He broke into that half-smile I was starting to love. “I do enjoy sex. Especially when it is elevated by having a strong chemistry with someone.”

  So he did feel it. The intensity went both ways. Crap, I could feel my face growing hot. This blushing shit has got to stop!

  “Aside from sex, I also enjoy hiking and the outdoors. I love experiencing new adventures. And, in the last few hours, I’ve discovered that women who blush really excite me.” He laughed.