Lust & Trust

by Amanda Cain

  I reached for an appetizer. I couldn’t believe I was eating a fried pickle and thinking about sex.

  “I recently went hiking in New Zealand to see the Sutherland Falls,” he continued. “It was such a rush. You would have loved it. The roaring sound of the water, steam rising as the water hits the rocks.” Ryan went on to describe Sutherland Falls passionately for several minutes.

  I had never given waterfalls much thought in the past, but listening to him describe the power and the beauty made me want to visit one and experience it in the same way he did.

  His eyes were so vivid they would flicker, and his smile—not the half-smile he exhibited when being playful or sexy but a broad, infectious smile that showed the slight wrinkles around his eyes and lit up his face—exposed a happiness that was hard to put into words. His passion for the things he loved was conveyed through an excitement that reminded me of a child coming down the stairs on Christmas morning to see that one special toy they had dreamed about all year sitting under the tree. I found myself easily drawn to his enthusiasm.

  “That’s amazing, I doubt if I will get to New Zealand anytime soon, but I’m sure the next time I see a waterfall, I will view it in a new light.”

  “Who’s your favorite author?” he asked. Ryan seemed genuinely interested in the person I was. Had I misjudged his motive for his sudden stopover in Denver?

  “Hmm, that’s a tough one. I don’t know if I have a favorite, but Richard Bach comes to mind. I loved Illusions and Jonathan Livingston Seagull.”

  “I’m going to guess that means you’ve probably also read Hesse’s Siddhartha?”

  “Yes, loved it. I guess I have a type of book.”

  “Steppenwolf?”

  “Read it, but it’s a little dark. So have you read both Bach and Hesse?”

  “I have, but it was years ago. I’ll read most anything, science fiction, history, and the Wall Street Journal. I’m a little bit of a nerd.” He smiled.

  “A very sexy nerd,” I blurted without thinking. I was only human. I’d been watching those deep emerald eyes and staring at his strong face for a couple of hours.

  He reached across the table and took my hand. “So you think I’m sexy?” That cocky half-smile was back.

  Once again, I felt the heat across my cheeks. “You enjoy making me blush, don’t you?”

  He pushed his chair next to mine and lightly kissed me. A simple touching of our lips and my body went into overdrive. I was more comfortable with Ryan today than the previous night. We laughed easily. Nothing embarrassed him. He even sang the lyrics of some songs to see if I knew them. His singing voice was just as sexy as his speaking voice. Ryan’s confidence came off as cocky but not obnoxious.

  He had offered no information regarding his occupation except that he was a consultant. He seemed uneasy with questions regarding his personal life. I decided to avoid them, at least for now. I didn’t ask, and he didn’t volunteer. I had learned a little more about who he was as a person, and I was intrigued.

  Then I heard the annoying beeping of my phone. The calendar alert was going off, reminding me of Char’s get together.

  “Oh shit!” I said as I glanced at my phone.

  “Oh shit?” he repeated and raised one eyebrow.

  “Charlotte, the girl with me last night … I’m supposed to be at her house in thirty minutes for a barbecue. Bob, her fiancé, is an excellent cook, and he’s grilling.”

  “Well then, let’s go. Since your car isn’t here, I’ll drive.”

  “Really?” I said, sounding a little exasperated. I was relieved that he was coming, but the fact that I hadn’t invited him to Char’s didn’t appear to make much difference to him.

  Ryan put his arm around me. “Since you’re sitting here with me, I assume you don’t have a plus one, and hopefully your friend won’t mind. I’m not ready for today to end and neither are you. Let’s go or we’ll be late. We should stop and get some wine or something on the way,” he said as he led me out the door.

  He was right. I didn’t want the day to end, and I was glad he invited himself. I should have called Char and warned her, but I didn’t have the time or the words.

  When we arrived, Bob greeted us at the door. “Hello, Em.” He hugged me and turned to Ryan to shake his hand. Bob looked a little uncomfortable, and Ryan had a confused look on his face. How lame of me not to introduce them. “Bob, this is Ryan, a … um … friend of mine. Ryan, Bob is Charlotte’s fiancé.”

  “Well, come on in. Char, Em’s here!” Bob shouted, looking out at the patio. “Go on out. Char’s been waiting for you. Ryan, why don’t you help me out with the drinks,” Bob said, leading him into the kitchen.

  I met up with Char outside, but before I had a chance to tell her about Ryan, another couple we knew joined us. A few minutes later, Ryan and Bob were walking toward us.

  Charlotte’s face froze as she recognized him. Facing me, she mouthed, “What the hell?”

  I shrugged. “Charlotte, you remember Ryan?”

  “Why yes I do. What an unexpected pleasure,” she said. Bob raised a speculative eyebrow at Char.

  “Emma, would you mind helping me in the kitchen for a moment?” Grabbing my arm, she whisked me down the hall.

  “What the hell? What gives? How did this happen? Dish, girl! What is going on?” She blurted, all in one breath.

  “He called this afternoon, said he was at the Dusty Boot, and we’ve been hanging out since. Sorry I didn’t warn you, but I didn’t have time. He invited himself here.”

  “Oh, this is yummy! Where does he live? What does he do? He is so freakin’ good looking!”

  “He said he lives in Chicago, and he is some type of consultant. Other than that, I have no details about his personal life.”

  “What? You’ve been with him all day and didn’t asked him any of the important stuff? At least give me his last name so I can go Google him!”

  I stared at her with an apologetic expression.

  “Come on, Em! You didn’t even ask him his last name?” Char was becoming visibly annoyed.

  “Shh, keep it down. No, I didn’t, and I need you to respect me on this and not ask him anything personal.”

  Char gazed at me, her expression mirroring her skepticism, “What’s going on?”

  “I’m not sure yet. Please, have faith in me, okay? We can talk about all this later.”

  I left the kitchen. I didn’t turn around to look, but I was sure she was behind me, frowning. I knew none of this made any sense to her. As my closest friend, I also knew she would respect my request no matter how absurd. It didn’t make any sense to me either. I was pretty sure Ryan’s goal was to get me into bed, and honestly, with the attraction I felt for him, I wanted the same thing. The difference was I wanted Ryan in my bed for longer than just one night.

  Earlier when I asked him about where he lived and his job, his reaction was distant and tense, and not very informing. Yet when he talked about his interests, he was animated, warm, and insightful. Something wasn’t right, I knew that, but I still felt compelled to continue.

  Bob and Ryan hit it off like they were old buddies. They spent most of the day talking. Every time I looked over at them, they were laughing and joking. I was glad they were getting along. Men and women were so different. Men didn’t need each other’s entire life story to get along, just beer and an interest in sports.

  Every once in a while, Ryan broke away from Bob and joined me. His social skills well-honed; he was great at casual conversation with strangers. Something akin to butterflies fluttered around in my stomach every time he put his arm around me. Usually, I was the levelheaded one who poked fun at other women who used such inane analogies and read ridiculous sappy love stories. I never had a lot of respect for overly emotional females. A guy was just a guy, right? I might have misjudged those women.

  Char had invited a single friend of Bob’s, Brandon, hoping we would hit it off. I spent a little time talking to him since I was the main reason he was
invited. Brandon was sweet and nice looking in an ordinary way—ordinary next to Ryan. I wouldn’t swear to it, but I thought I caught a hint of jealousy in Ryan’s eyes.

  As Ryan and I got ready to leave, Char pulled me aside.

  “Ryan’s charming and hot as hell. I might even like him, except something’s off. He hasn’t laid his cards out on the table. And you haven’t pushed for more information, which pisses me off and worries me. Be careful and call me!”

  I kissed her on the cheek. “You’re a good friend. Don’t worry, I got this.”

  Chapter 4

  Emma

  After the cookout, Ryan drove me back to my house. I had a little too much to drink, but I didn’t want him to leave.

  “Would you like to come in for some coffee?”

  “What about Sierra? Is she with a babysitter?”

  “She’s inside. You can meet her. I’m sure she will like you.”

  His brows furrowed slightly, and he appeared concerned. I was sure he wondered why I would invite him in with my baby girl inside. I quickly unlocked the door and led him into my house, not wanting to give him a chance to leave.

  Sierra came running down the hall. She stopped short for a second; I assured her he was okay, and she ran up to him to say hello in her own way.

  “Ryan meet Sierra … Sierra, Ryan.”

  “So, this is Sierra?” His relief was evident in his posture as he bent down to pet Sierra, my seventy-pound white shepherd.

  “This is your baby girl?” Shaking his head, he continued petting Sierra, who was already loving him.

  “Yes, of course, what did you think?”

  “You know what I thought. You have been playing me,” he said, smiling playfully as he walked toward me. I turned and hurried into the kitchen before he reached me. I knew if he kissed me, we would never make it to the kitchen. I discarded the idea of coffee and opened a bottle of chardonnay.

  “Wine, beer, or I have some Jägermeister if you prefer?” I offered.

  “Jägermeister? Leftovers from a past boyfriend?” he asked, not waiting for an answer. “Sure, Jäger sounds good.”

  Ryan was right. Michael drank Jäger, and I had always kept some around for him.

  I reached into the upper cabinet, confident Ryan watched me from behind as I retrieved a shot glass from the shelf. Our fingers touched as I handed him his drink. I felt a surge of excitement stream through my body. The look in Ryan’s eyes as we touched was sensual and raw. I was sure he was feeling the same thing.

  Ryan downed his shot and took my wine from me, setting both glasses on the counter.

  Backing me against the wall, he interlaced his fingers with mine and raised my arms above my head. Kissing me, he opened my mouth with his tongue and began exploring. With each second, his kiss grew harder, stronger, and more passionate.

  My insides were shaking, and when he leaned in closer, pressing his body firmly against mine, I knew any plans I had of playing hard to get had been rendered impossible. The butterflies were back, and they were fluttering their little wings at the speed of light, keeping my insides in turmoil.

  The night had been destined to end up here. Any attempt on my part to pretend differently would ring false. It had been a while since I had sex. Michael and I broke it off a few months ago. If I was going to indulge in my first one-night stand, I was going to enjoy it.

  Ryan ran his hand down my side until he reached the bottom hem of my dress. Pushing my sundress up, he ran his fingers lightly across my inner thighs. I held my breath, enjoying the sensation as his fingers traveled slowly toward their destination. Reaching my panties, he ran one finger over the thin material, teasing me. I squirmed underneath his touch, desperately wanting him to push my underwear to the side so I could feel the warmth of his fingers against my skin. Without warning, he removed his hand, letting my dress fall back into place.

  “No … please don’t stop.” I needed him inside me. Did he not feel the same level of intensity?

  “Not yet,” Ryan taunted, flashing that now infamous half-smile that made my panties drip. He released my arms, which he had been firmly holding with his hand, and turned my body around so I was now facing the wall.

  What was he doing?

  I began to turn back around, but he moved in closer, placing his hand on my back. He unzipped the back of my dress while his lips floated over the nape of my neck. Pulling the spaghetti straps over my shoulders, he let my dress fall to the floor. So sensual. Better than I could have fantasized.

  He took a step back and directed me to stay. Standing there, facing the wall, I could feel his eyes studying me. I was so aroused. My breathing grew heavier at the sound of his boots against the wood floor as he walked toward me.

  “You’re so hot.” His breath tickled my ear as he ran his fingers over my shoulders and down my arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. While I was still facing the wall, he spread my legs with his palm, and his hand returned to seducing my inner thigh. I closed my eyes, barely aware of my surroundings. I was wet and pulsating, anticipating the moment when I would finally feel his touch inside me.

  But it didn’t happen. He stopped. Releasing me, he stepped away again.

  Are you frigging kidding me?

  I wanted to scream. His teasing had become a torturous pleasure. I wanted him so badly I no longer gave any thought as to what happened after. All that mattered was now, this moment.

  “Turn around so I can see all of you.” The forcefulness of his words was new and exciting.

  The thin straps and low-cut sundress had prevented me from wearing a bra. I turned to face Ryan, naked except for my panties. He handed me my glass and stepped back, standing there, staring like a wolf at his prey. I took a sip of wine and set the glass on the counter.

  “Take off your underwear,” he instructed.

  “Oh no, your turn. You need to at least take off your shirt.” I giggled a nervous laugh, trying to make light of my almost nakedness while he stood there still fully dressed.

  Ryan’s face changed, his body tensing. His voice sounded deeper and more commanding. “Em, I want you to slowly pull your panties down to your knees.” There was no doubt he was letting me know he wanted control.

  My need for sexual release overpowered my judgment. I would have done almost anything just to feel him inside me. I pulled my panties to my knees while he watched. The act of pulling my undies down on his command while he brazenly stared at me felt empowering. I saw my own sexuality being reflected back to me through his eyes. Standing naked before Ryan, I felt raw, exposed, vulnerable, and sexy as hell.

  The night had just begun, and Ryan had already brought me to a level of excitement I had never before experienced. His deliberate teasing and withdrawing. The animalistic desire that shone in his eyes every time he stepped away to look at me. He had brought me to that place of no return. Even if it was just for the night, I was his, and he knew it.

  Once again, he moved toward me. His smoldering gaze traveled up my body, moving so slowly I felt like he was imprinting a picture of me into his brain one pixel at a time.

  When his eyes finally reached mine, his expression was soft and confident. Parting my legs, he inserted his finger, allowing his thumb to caress my outer region. I gasped as my body and mind reacted simultaneously to feeling his touch finally inside me. I couldn’t hold back. Tremors of joy took over me as I orgasmed. I was so aroused by the thought of sex that all it took was for him to touch me and I came. Until tonight, I wouldn’t have believed that was possible.

  “Ryan, I need a moment …” I begged as he began massaging.

  “Shh, just enjoy.” His voice was soft and passionate.

  My body started to react and began moving with the rhythm of his fingers. “Oh God, Ryan please, please fuck me.”

  He pulled my underwear down the rest of the way. “Which way to the bedroom?” he asked as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

  Was he really going to carry my naked body over his s
houlder like some primitive caveman? Cavewomen probably had some really hot sex!

  Laying me on the bed, he pulled my knees up and spread my legs, putting all of me in full view. He unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his well-toned chest. His broad shoulders and long torso were even sexier than my mind had imagined. I sat up to reach for him.

  “Stay,” he commanded, gently pushing me back down, his voice stern and controlling. His eyes demonstrated his hunger as they roamed over my bare skin and between my legs.

  “Let me fuck you the way I want … the way you want.” His piercing eyes saw through me. His words resonated inside me, arousing me at a primal level. I felt consumed with opposing emotions of lust and vulnerability. God, I wanted this man!

  Removing the rest of his clothes, Ryan stood naked in front of me, and I was in awe. He was roughly six feet and in excellent shape. Strands of his wavy dark brown hair fell across his face, playing against his emerald eyes. So. Fucking. Sexy.

  His huge cock scared me, though I was so wet I was confident I could handle it.

  He knelt at the edge of the bed and pulled my hips toward him, opening my legs. “So fucking beautiful,” he whispered, right before his tongue reached me. Gliding over me, spreading me apart, licking and stimulating my clit.

  Any ability to form a coherent thought left me as he simultaneously put one and then a second finger inside me, moving slow and easy. Every nerve ending in my body screamed for release. Ready to come again, my mind begged my body to hold off. I didn’t want to lose this feeling.

  “Ryan, I’m going to …”

  “It’s okay, Em, let go. Let me taste you.” I did. Waves of pure ecstasy ran through my body, making me shiver.

  Unfortunately, my emotions were riding the crest of my orgasm, experiencing the same ripple of highs and lows. I feared my happiness would soon be crushed under that ocean of joy and left to drown. I already knew that this one night would not be enough for me and hoped he felt the same.

  While I was still pulsating from my orgasm, Ryan pushed himself inside me—hard. His stiff, warm cock rubbed my swollen outsides and pounded my insides.