Hearts Attached

by Scarlet Wolfe

  My dad sighs and runs his hand through his hair, straightening it. “No, Luke, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t know they would let anyone see them yet since they were born so early.”

  “Oh, yeah, they encourage it. I got to touch them even.” I feel the joy exuding through my smile.

  My dad stands and puts his arm around my shoulders. “Come on. We’ll go with you.” I’m stunned by my dad’s words, but it’s exactly what I want and need to hear. They let the nurse’s station know where they’ll be before we head to the neonatal unit.

  “Oh, my. They’re so tiny and precious,” Mom says, holding her hand to her chest. I don’t want to take my eyes off of the twins, but I want to see my dad’s reaction, so I take a glimpse at him.

  He appears in deep thought, but I see a slight smile. A nurse approaches and gives me an update. It sounds as if they’re still doing great.

  I’m unable to get my father to, but my mother actually touches them. Her eyes are getting watery as she rubs each of their little legs and holds their fingers.

  “I always knew you and McKenzie would make gorgeous babies,” she says.

  My head snaps her way. “What do you mean you always knew?”

  She gives me a look that conveys I shouldn’t need to ask. “Luke, we’ve always known McKenzie was the one for you. I’ve never doubted it, but I thought this would happen much later.

  “It felt like we had triplets for the first ten years, but then you began gazing at her differently, and your dad and I knew.”

  I’m beaming with happiness. My parents have always cared for Kenzie, but I was worried they didn’t want us together, especially after this.

  “Son, I think it’s wonderful that you want to be here for the twins, but I don’t believe it’s a good idea for you to see them again,” my dad says. “It’s going to be difficult for you to give them up if you do.”

  “Dad, they need attention.”

  “You’re right, so you and Kenzie need to get one of the couples you screened involved right away.”

  My dad’s words today are softer, and I believe he’s feeling something for the babies, too. He means well, but I can’t leave them alone, and I’m not ready to let someone else have them.

  McKenzie

  My stomach is churning as I walk with Luke to see the twins. I’m excited but overly emotional, not knowing what to expect.

  My mom was a saint and showed up this morning with things for me to wear. I was ordered to take my time in getting there, and I can tell it’s taking tremendous patience on Luke’s part.

  “I can’t wait for you to see them, Kenzie.”

  “I noticed, but I’m not up for a marathon yet.”

  He slows his pace. “I’m excited, sorry. They have dark hair like me, but I think they’re going to have your eyes and smile. I hope so, anyway.”

  We finally get there, and all I can think about is my need to sit, that is until I see our babies. It’s as if nothing else exist in the world besides Luke, me and those precious beings.

  “Luke, they are the sweetest little people ever.”

  He pulls me against him, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. Kissing my temple, he puts his mouth to my ear. “I told you. They’re adorable like you, sweetheart.”

  My heart is filled to capacity with love, both to give and to receive. Luke explains everything he knows about the babies care. He’s such an intelligent guy, so he’s thorough and knowledgeable about their condition.

  I reach inside the incubators and touch them. Their skin is thin and soft. When I begin speaking to them, they move around.

  “Luke, they recognize our voices,” I say excitedly.

  “It’s so cool. Did you think of any names?”

  “Yes. I wanted to see them before we settled on any. I would like to name our girl.”

  “That’s perfect since I could only think of a name for our son.” I glance up at him, and he’s grinning.

  “I think you’re a proud dad.” My smile disappears. “You have to get back to school, Luke.”

  “We can talk about that later. Right now, I want to enjoy the time the four of us have together.”

  He reaches in to touch our baby boy, and my heart melts at the sight of a tiny hand wrapping around Luke’s finger.

  “So, for a girl ... what will it be?” he asks.

  “I want to name her Lucy Nicole for Liv’s middle name, Lucille, and yours, Nicholas.”

  “Lucy. It’s cute. I like it.” Luke pulls his finger toward him, but our baby doesn’t let go. “I have a feeling he’s going to be energetic. I want to name him after you.”

  “But I’m a girl.”

  “I want to name him Mackinnon, after you, and there just happens to be an ice hockey player named Nathan Mackinnon. But I thought we could call him Mac. I haven’t thought of a middle name.”

  “Aww, I like Mac. How about Lucas for the middle name?”

  “OK. Lucy and Mac Harris.”

  The flood gates open, and sobs escape me in an instant. I feel terrible when Lucy’s body jerks from being startled, but I can’t stop. Luke grabs me and brings my head to his chest, muffling my cries some.

  “Kenzie, what’s wrong?”

  “Their names won’t be Harris.”

  “Shit, Kenz, I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”

  “I want to go back to my room.” I take one last look at the both of them and cry the entire way back. I can’t see them again. “Why don’t you go check on Liv or go home for a while? You probably need to go to school and get your homework.”

  “I don’t want to leave you. You’re upset, and I feel horrible about it.”

  “Go, Luke. There’s nothing to discuss, other than we need to pick one of the families later today. I’m sure any one of them would have an attorney draw up papers promptly.

  “The babies will be in the hospital for a while, so that will give them a little more time for the adoption to go through.”

  His gaze is one of sorrow and defeat.

  “I’ll be back later.”

  I don’t know what he wants. He hasn’t said we should keep the twins, and I’m not saying it. Luke has a chance at playing in the NHL someday. He’s also going to an ivy-league college where he will major in engineering physics.

  Mom told me she’ll help us find a way to care for the babies if I want to keep them, but that means Luke will feel obligated, and he can’t physically work with his college load and hockey.

  I won’t say it first. Unless he tells me he wants to keep them, it’s not happening.

  Luke

  I find my parents in Liv’s room. She’s awake but noticeably weak. “Liv, how are you?”

  “Not great but alive at least.” My sister’s voice is raspy, and her skin is pale.

  “We were going to get some lunch. Do you want to go, Luke?” Mom asks.

  “No, I’d like to stay here with Liv.”

  “That would be great. I’d rather not leave her alone,” Mom adds.

  After my parents leave, I pull a chair right up to Liv’s bed. “You scared the shit out of everyone,” I say as I take her hand.

  “It’s my fault, Luke. McKenzie didn’t want to get in the treehouse, and I talked her into it.”

  “Sis, it was an accident. The treehouse is old. Obviously, none of us ever considered that it could come down.”

  “Yeah, but her instincts as a mother told her not to, and I pushed her to do it anyway.”

  She begins to cry, and geez, if it’s not her, it’s Kenzie or our mothers.

  “Liv, please don’t cry. I left Kenzie in her room crying, and there has been so much of it since we found out about the pregnancy.”

  “Why is Kenzie crying?”

  “It was hard on her to see the babies, knowing we can’t keep them.”

  “Is it not as hard for you?”

  “It’s killing me, but I’m trying to be strong for her.” I run my hands down my face.

  “Do you want to raise them, Luk
e?”

  I can’t look at her, or I’ll be crying next.

  “I don’t want to give them up. I love them, sis. It will be awesome to graduate from Dartmouth or have a chance to play professional hockey, but none of it will have the same meaning now.

  “I’ve already experienced the most special moment you can have in life. Apart from marrying Kenzie, bringing them into the world will be the most important thing I ever do.”

  “Then keep them.”

  “How? I will have to give up Dartmouth and hockey to find a job that likely won’t pay enough to care for them, anyway.”

  “I don’t know how to make it work, but you just said the babies were more important than any of that.”

  I lay my head on the bed next to her hip. She messes with the top of my hair, and I realize I’m feeling sorry for myself when she had major surgery and was clinging for life only hours ago. I lift my head.

  “I was terrified I was going to lose you, Liv.”

  “You should know me better. Now, you think hard about this but not long. You’re running out of time, and find my phone for me.” She begins glancing around the room. “I want to call Dalton.”

  “He’s text me a few times today. He might as well have skipped school since you’re all he can think about.”

  She smiles, and her eyes have a spark in them again.

  “Mom said he, Noah and Stew saved our lives. If they hadn’t of been there and helped Kenzie and me, I wouldn’t have made it. How romantic is that? It makes me love him more.”

  “Romance. I should do something special for Kenz. The poor girl has to use a breast pump. We’re too young for that shit, but since the day she found out she was pregnant, she’s done whatever it takes to care for Lucy and Mac.”

  Liv’s eyes widen, and she tries to sit up.

  “Ouch. You named them?” she asks excitedly.

  “Yeah, and that’s what upset Kenz. I called them Harris. Kenzie picked Lucy after you.”

  “Aww, I love that girl, and I love you. I know the decision you make will be the one that brings you both peace.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  McKenzie

  Today has been depressing. Luke’s been gone for hours. Mom has only been able to pop in for a few minutes at a time while she works. I’m lonely. My body aches everywhere, my hormones are a mess, and my boobs hurt like a bitch. I pump them, which is painful as hell, then they fill right back up with milk.

  I know what I’ll do. I guilt a nursing assistant into taking me by wheelchair to Liv’s room. Oh, shit. The Harris’s are here. I should’ve expected that.

  “McKenzie, we were getting ready to check on you. I’m sorry we haven’t been by,” Lisa says. “We’ve been staying close to Liv.”

  “I understand.” I smirk at Liv. “You just had to one up me, didn’t you? I push two babies out, and you go and have your spleen removed.”

  “Don’t forget about my broken ribs,” she says before giggling. The laughing stops quickly as she holds a pillow over her stomach and coughs.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t get you laughing.”

  “We’ll leave you two alone to visit. Luke took the car, but I have no idea where he went. Do you know by chance?” David asks me.

  “No, I haven’t seen him for a few hours.”

  “I’ll call him then.”

  Using my feet, I scoot closer to Liv’s bed.

  “I likely haven’t seen your brother for hours because I acted like a mental case earlier.”

  “He came to see me after. He’s not upset with you. Along with that niece and nephew of mine, he loves you like crazy. Which by the way, I need to see them soon, but I have a feeling that isn’t happening today.”

  “Luke talked about the babies?”

  “Yes. He’s proud of them and impressed with you. I’m sorry, Kenz. I shouldn’t have pressured you to get into the treehouse. You felt it wasn’t safe, and I didn’t listen.”

  “It’s not your fault. I could’ve said no, and we weren’t aware it was in that bad of shape.”

  “Hi, babe. Are you feeling better?” Dalton asks as he enters the room. Oh, shit, he brought friends, and I look like hell. He goes around to the other side of the bed and gives her a kiss.

  “McKenzie, how are you feeling?” Noah asks.

  “OK, considering. I should probably get back to my room. I’m sure they don’t want this many of us visiting. Bye, Liv.” I squeeze her hand and give her a smile, but she’s clearly only interested in her man.

  “McKenzie, I’ll wheel you back. You shouldn’t be doing that,” Stew says.

  “Oh, that’s alright. I got it.”

  “Stop being difficult, and let me help you,” he says before taking hold of the handles. Damn, this day keeps getting worse.

  He asks a lot of questions about the twins on the way back to my room. I really need to thank him for what he did for me but it’s awkward.

  After he backs the wheelchair up to the side of the bed, he squeezes past me and scratches his head as he looks around. I think he’s questioning why he offered to help.

  “Ok, I guess I’ll go.” Stew turns to leave, so I grab his hand.

  “Stew, wait. Thank you for what you did yesterday. Who knows what would’ve happened if you hadn’t of got all that debris off my chest and stomach and kept my leg from bleeding more? You did so much. The babies might’ve fell out had I tried to get up.”

  I start laughing and he does, too.

  “What the fuck?” Luke asks as he walks into the room. He’s holding a bouquet of flowers and is noticeably pissed from his furrowed brow and glare.

  “Luke, Stew wheeled me back from Liv’s room, and I was thanking him for helping me yesterday. You should thank him, too. I’m sure it kept the babies healthier.”

  I watch him take a deep breath as he sets the flowers down on my tray table. Reluctantly, he turns back to Stew. “Noah and Kenzie told me how much you did for her. Thank you, but I got it from here.”

  “It was the right thing to do, and we’ve all been friends a long time. Of course, I would help. I’ll see you two later,” Stew says with a smirk before leaving the room.

  “Why were you holding his hand?” Luke asks.

  “I grabbed it as he walked away, so I could thank him. He didn’t hit on me, and I can’t believe you are jealous, or think he would do that, after I gave birth to your children less than twenty-four hours ago.”

  I’m frowning as I manage to stand up from the wheelchair. Luke hurries over and helps me into bed.

  “I’m sorry. You’re right.” He covers me up and sits next to my legs.

  “What’s wrong, Luke?”

  “I’m scared I’m going to lose you, the twins, and everything else that means something to me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I found out Stew has liked you a long time. I’m still fearful that if we can’t keep the babies, you’ll want a fresh start with someone who doesn’t remind you of them. So, seeing the two of you holding hands was difficult.”

  “If we can’t keep the babies?”

  Luke eyes dart away from mine.

  “You know what I mean.”

  I sigh. I was hoping he was trying to say something else. “Luke, we’ve been over this. Our hearts are attached, whether we have kids or don’t. I love you.”

  Leaning over, he kisses me.

  “I love you, too, and I’m sorry. It will be hard enough to say goodbye to Lucy and Mac. I couldn’t live without you, too.”

  My arms wrap around his neck before I hug him hard.

  “I brought you flowers. You deserve more, but it’s all I could afford.”

  I pull away, and Luke is frowning.

  “Let me see the flowers and stop pouting. Did you pick a couple?”

  “Um, no.” He doesn’t make eye contact as he holds the flowers in front of me.

  “Luke, we have to. The babies need attention.”

  He looks at me, and I’m smacked
with an angry gaze. “They have names now, and we can give them attention until we decide.”

  I scoot up in my bed. He’s making me crazy.

  “Maybe you can turn off the switch when you walk away from them, but I can’t. I won’t be able to let them go if I get closer to them, so they are the babies, and I won’t be seeing them again because they already stole a part of my heart. I can’t let them take any more of it, or there won’t be any left.”

  “Kenzie, I can’t turn it off either–”

  “Get out. As usual, you’re the most confusing boy ever!”

  Luke

  “I’ll try to give you enough attention, but it’s kind of difficult when you’re stuck in this spaceship looking thing,” I say, rubbing Lucy’s arm.

  “I don’t know what to do. I’m being selfish, waiting to find you new parents, and I want your mommy to be selfish with me for a bit longer, but she’s right.

  “This here will only make it that much harder to give you up, but you and your brother are too stinkin’ cute not to see for as long as possible.”

  I need to talk to Dalton. I’m lost as to what to do, so I go to Liv’s room. Thankfully, Stew and Noah are gone, and it’s only Dalton, Liv and my parents.

  “Dalton, could I talk to you?” I run my hand across the back of my neck. I’m stressed, and I’m trying to remember the last time I ate anything. Everyone is staring at me, and I get the impression I was the topic of discussion when I walked in.

  “Sure, man. I’ll be back,” he says to Liv.

  “Care if we go to the cafeteria? I don’t remember even eating lunch today,” I say as we walk down the hall.

  “No problem. What’s up?”

  “I don’t know what to do about Lucy and Mac.”

  “Cool names. Liv said you want to raise them.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t see a way to make it happen.”

  “What’s McKenzie saying about it?”

  “I haven’t told her.”

  “Um, I think that’s a good place to start.”

  “Yeah, but what if she’s upset about giving them up but still doesn’t want to keep them. She might think she has to then, and either I give up Dartmouth, or she has to put college on hold, and I can’t ask her to do that.”

  “Don’t ask her to. First, ask her if she wants to keep them. If she does, then discuss how to make it happen.” Dalton and I get a tray of food and sit in the cafeteria.