Changing Places

by Colette Caddle

  ‘She works in a bookshop around the corner from work. There’s a coffee-shop in the back and me and Dan used to have lunch there sometimes.’ Gary shrugged. ‘She got to know me from going in and out, and we used to say hello. Then one day she asked me for a quote for putting in a conservatory and we had a cup of coffee while I talked her through it.’

  ‘When did all this happen?’

  ‘I don’t know, maybe five or six months ago.’

  Rachel frowned, trying to figure out why warning bells were ringing loudly in her head. Of course! The receipts she’d found in his pocket. They were for the coffee-bar in the bookshop. ‘Egan’s,’ she breathed.

  ‘Yes. Anyway, we hit it off from the start. She bought a conservatory and I popped in occasionally to check that she was happy with the work. Then we got talking about other things. Before long, I was dropping in for a coffee a couple of times a week.’

  ‘So when did it progress from there?’ Rachel forced herself to ask.

  ‘It didn’t,’ he muttered. ‘It hasn’t.’

  ‘Right!’ Rachel looked at him in total disbelief.

  ‘It’s true,’ he insisted. ‘Not because I’m a good husband but because she’s a good wife and mother.’

  ‘She’s married?’

  Gary nodded. ‘Yeah, with two little girls – they’re seven and four.’

  Rachel said nothing as she tried to absorb what he was saying. Married, kids, not a good husband . . . ‘You were seeing her after I told you about the baby?’

  He nodded, his eyes closed. ‘I’m sorry. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world, Rache, but I love her.’

  It was like a knife through her heart. ‘I see.’

  ‘But you don’t have to worry.’ He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. ‘She won’t have anything to do with me. She says we both have responsibilities and we can’t walk away from them.’

  ‘Very admirable.’

  ‘She’s a good person,’ Gary snapped at her.

  ‘Better than me.’

  ‘I didn’t say that.’

  ‘It’s what you meant.’

  ‘No! Rachel, I love you and I admire you, you’re a great mother. And if you hadn’t asked me about this, I would never have told you any of it in a million years.’

  ‘But you would leave me – leave us – if she’d asked you.’

  Gary looked at her, his eyes sad. ‘I didn’t mean it to happen, Rache, but I suppose it was only a matter of time. It’s obvious that you don’t love me any more.’

  ‘What do you mean? Of course I love you!’

  ‘You don’t,’ Gary insisted. ‘Sometimes I wonder if you ever really did. I think you were more in love with the idea of getting married than actually getting married to me.’

  ‘That’s not true!’

  ‘Then maybe it’s all my fault. Maybe I should have been around more when Alex was a baby. If that’s true then I’m sorry, Rache. I’m sorry for all of it.’

  Rachel realized she should be throwing a tantrum, hurling dishes at him or, at the very least, crying her eyes out – but she felt surprisingly calm. ‘So what happens now?’ she asked.

  ‘We start again, I suppose, and get ready for the birth of our baby.’

  ‘How can we start again? You’re in love with another woman.’

  ‘I won’t see her again,’ Gary promised. ‘It’s over. Look, Rache, I’m willing to work at this.’

  ‘You shouldn’t have to work at loving someone,’ Rachel mumbled.

  ‘I know I’ve hurt you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I still care about you. I love Alex and I can’t wait to meet the baby.’

  ‘It’s another boy,’ Rachel told him without emotion.

  Gary’s eyes filled up. ‘That’s fantastic! But how do you know? When did you find out?’

  Rachel shook her head. ‘That’s not important right now.’ She stood up. ‘I have to go out for a while.’

  ‘Out? But where? Rache, you’re not going to do anything silly, are you?’

  ‘I have arranged to meet Anna and Jill. I won’t be long.’

  ‘Oh, okay. Is there anything you want me to do?’

  She turned to look at him. ‘Yes, I’d like you to pack.’

  ‘No! Rachel!’

  ‘I need you to pick up Alex and look after him until I get back,’ Rachel continued as if he hadn’t spoken. ‘Then we have to work out what to tell him. Possibly we could say you have to go away on business.’

  ‘But Rache—’

  She waved away his protests. ‘I don’t want him hurt. It’s very important that we do whatever it takes to protect him from this.’

  ‘Then let me stay,’ Gary begged, tears streaming down his face. ‘I’ll be a better husband, a better father. We can get through this, Rachel. Don’t make me leave Alex, don’t make me leave my baby!’

  ‘You love another woman, Gary. Do you honestly think I can carry on as normal knowing that?’

  ‘But nothing happened.’

  ‘And what if she changes her mind? What would happen the day she called you and said, “I want to be with you”?’

  Gary looked away.

  ‘Yes, that’s what I thought. Look, Gary, I’m terrified of letting you walk out the door but I’m more terrified of letting you stay. And I may not have been the best wife in the world but I deserve more than second-best.’

  Gary crumpled into a heap at the kitchen table and buried his face in his hands. ‘I’m so sorry, Rache. I’m so sorry.’

  Rachel looked at the broken man before her, her eyes bright with unshed tears. ‘Me too.’

  Jill walked into the Yacht Bar at exactly five past four. Well, it wasn’t a good idea to look too eager. Andy was already there, in conversation with the barman. He looked good, Jill thought, taking a moment to admire his chocolate leather jacket and tight black jeans. He’d let his hair grow and it made him look younger and even more gorgeous than she remembered. As if sensing her eyes on him, Andy turned and smiled. Jill smiled back and walked towards him. ‘Hi, Andy.’

  ‘Hi, Jill.’ Andy bent his head and kissed her lightly on the lips. ‘It’s good to see you.’

  Jill sat up on the bar stool he’d pulled out for her. ‘And you.’

  ‘What would you like to drink?’

  ‘G and T, please.’

  When the barman had brought Jill’s drink, Andy raised his pint of Guinness. ‘Cheers.’

  ‘Cheers.’ Jill took a sip of her drink. ‘I didn’t think you’d agree to meet me.’

  Andy grinned. ‘Ah well, I didn’t have anything else to do.’

  ‘Thanks very much!’ Jill laughed but she was relieved that the atmosphere was so easy and relaxed.

  ‘So why did you ask me here?’ he asked, watching her steadily.

  ‘Nothing like getting straight to the point, eh?’ Jill chuckled nervously. Andy said nothing so she took a deep breath and went for it. ‘I wanted to apologize. The way I ended things . . . well, it wasn’t very nice.’

  ‘You didn’t actually end anything. You just got very stroppy, then very cool, and then you stopped taking my calls.’

  Jill winced. ‘Like I said, I’m sorry.’

  He sighed. ‘I just couldn’t understand what went wrong. We were having such a good time, weren’t we?’

  Jill nodded. ‘The best. I’m afraid I’m a bit of a disaster when it comes to relationships. It’s like, once things are going well, I press the self-destruct button.’

  ‘So, why did you call now?’ Andy asked.

  ‘My cousins made me,’ Jill admitted, making a face.

  ‘Oh, great.’

  ‘No, no, that’s a good thing! They know me better than anyone and they thought I’d made a huge mistake breaking up with you.’

  Andy frowned. ‘I don’t remember meeting them.’

  ‘You didn’t but they saw the effect you were having on me.’

  Andy smiled slowly. ‘Oh, I had an effect on you, did I?’

  ‘Oh y
es,’ Jill murmured.

  Andy ran a finger down her cheek and she turned her head so she could kiss it, her eyes never leaving his. He whispered, ‘So you think that maybe we should give it another go?’

  Jill smiled. ‘I would like that, but there’s a small complication.’

  Andy took his hand away and picked up his pint. ‘There would be, wouldn’t there? Go on then. Tell me.’

  ‘I’m leaving my job.’

  He shrugged. ‘So?’

  Jill shot him a sheepish look. ‘And I’m moving to Spain.’

  Chapter 38

  When Rachel walked into the lounge of the Grand Hotel in Malahide, Jill was at the bar getting drinks. ‘Anna’s in the loo,’ she said. ‘What would you like to drink?’

  ‘Soda water,’ Rachel told her.

  Jill studied her cousin’s white face. ‘You go and sit down, I’ll bring it over.’

  Anna returned from the cloakroom and went to help Jill with the drinks. ‘Oh, Rachel’s here! How did she get on?’

  Jill shook her head. ‘I didn’t ask but she doesn’t look too good.’ Picking up her drink and Rachel’s she led the way to the corner table where Rachel was sitting.

  ‘Hi,’ Anna said to her sister. ‘Are you okay?’

  Rachel’s smile was shaky. ‘Not really.’

  ‘What did he say?’ Jill asked.

  ‘He’s in love with someone else.’

  ‘Oh, Rache!’ Anna moved closer and slipped an arm around her sister’s shoulders. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  Jill reached across to take Rachel’s hand. ‘Me too.’

  ‘So you were right about all those nights that he was supposed to be working late,’ Anna fumed.

  ‘No, actually, I was wrong about most of it. He only met her six months ago. It was probably the fact that I didn’t trust him that drove him away in the end.’

  ‘You can’t take the blame for this,’ Anna protested.

  ‘Anna’s right,’ Jill said angrily. ‘It’s not your fault. Who is he having the affair with? Is it someone he works with?’

  Rachel laughed but there was no humour in it. ‘He isn’t having an affair. He’s in love with a woman who works in a bookshop. She’s married, has kids and won’t have an affair with him or leave her family. They meet for coffee and talk and hold hands—’ She broke off, pressing her hand to her mouth. ‘I think it would have been easier if it had all been about sex.’

  ‘So what happens now?’ Jill prompted gently. ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘I’ve told him to leave.’

  Anna and Jill exchanged looks.

  ‘It might be an idea for you to have some time apart, right enough,’ Jill said carefully.

  ‘No, it’s over,’ Rachel said with finality, her voice remarkably calm.

  ‘But,’ Anna looked at her sister’s bump, ‘what about Alex, the baby . . .’

  ‘I won’t be the first woman to bring her kids up alone. Anyway, Gary will still be in their lives. I would never keep his children from him.’

  Anna leaned her head against her sister’s, tears streaming down her face. ‘You’ll never be alone, Rachel,’ she promised. ‘I’m going to be there for you every step of the way.’

  ‘And you’ll always have a second home in Spain,’ Jill said, squeezing Rachel’s hand.

  ‘Don’t cry, Anna, you’ll set me off.’ Rachel took a drink of her water and cleared her throat. ‘Well, that’s my sorry little story. What about you two? Please tell me you got on better than I did. Jill?’

  Jill nodded and smiled. ‘Me and Andy are back together again.’

  ‘Oh, that’s wonderful!’ Anna beamed at her cousin as she mopped at her tears with a tissue.

  ‘Yeah, I’m delighted for you, Jill.’ Rachel also managed a smile.

  ‘But have you told him about Spain?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Yes. He wasn’t too impressed but he’s promised to come out for a long weekend in February.’

  ‘I really hope it works out for you, Jill,’ Anna said.

  ‘So what about you, Sis?’ Rachel prompted.

  Anna sighed. ‘It’s going to be okay, I think, but I came so close to screwing things up.’

  Jill raised an eyebrow. ‘Charlie?’

  Anna nodded. ‘After Liam and I had talked, I decided to go and see Charlie. I wanted to tell him face to face that Liam and I were back together and that there was absolutely no future for him and me.’

  Rachel stared at her sister. ‘So there was something going on between you two?’

  Anna shook her head. ‘No, honestly, there wasn’t, but there could have been. I fancied him and I was very tempted, but nothing actually happened.’ Anna sat on her crossed fingers.

  ‘And what about Tara?’

  ‘She was after Liam, all right, and he enjoyed the attention but he says that her coming on to him made him realize how much he loved me. And he’s got a new job, starting tomorrow. He’s even talking about babies again!’

  For the first time that day, Rachel’s eyes filled up and a sob escaped her lips.

  Anna put a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh Rache, I’m sorry. How bloody tactless of me. This is the last thing you need to hear.’

  ‘No, no, really, I’m happy for you,’ Rachel said, between sniffs. ‘I know I’m doing the right thing. It’s just the children I worry about.’

  ‘They’ll be fine – they have a fantastic mother. Hey, would you like me to phone Mam and ask her to come home now?’

  Rachel shook her head. ‘No. Gary and I need time to sort things out. I was thinking that we should tell Alex that his daddy has to go away on business. At least until the baby is born.’

  ‘That’s a good idea,’ Anna agreed. ‘And you know that Liam and I will be happy to have him to stay any time.’

  Rachel shot her a grateful smile. ‘It would be great if you could make a bit of a fuss of him after the baby comes along. I don’t want him to feel left out but I’m going to have a lot on my hands.’

  ‘Absolutely no problem. And you know Dad will spoil him rotten.’ Anna glanced over to where Jill was staring into her drink, her face solemn. ‘Hey, what’s wrong with you?’ she asked.

  Jill looked up at her and then turned guilty eyes on Rachel. ‘I feel awful. If I hadn’t pushed you, you probably wouldn’t have said anything to Gary and you two would still be together.’

  ‘Oh Jill, don’t be silly – you were right. Things haven’t been okay between me and Gary for a long time. All you did was prompt me to do something about it. At least now I know exactly where I stand. Before, I was just lurching from one day to the next, searching pockets and listening in on phone calls. What kind of a life is that?’

  ‘You’re really brave,’ Anna said, her face full of admiration.

  Rachel made a face. ‘That makes a change from being a moan then.’

  Anna cringed. ‘I’m sorry, Rache, I’ve been a crap sister.’

  ‘Hey, don’t start being too nice to me,’ Rachel joked. ‘It’s just not natural.’

  ‘Remember, you’re not allowed to fight any more,’ Jill reminded them. ‘I won’t be here to step in.’

  ‘I’m so happy for you, Jill, but God, I’m really going to miss you,’ Rachel said, choking up again.

  ‘You just hop on a plane anytime and I’ll be waiting at the other end,’ Jill said, fighting to hold back her own tears.

  Rachel dabbed at the tears coursing down her cheeks. ‘Sorry about the waterworks. I suppose I’m worn out. It’s been quite a day.’

  ‘Let’s get you home to bed,’ Anna said.

  ‘I don’t think I can face Gary. I was very controlled earlier, you’d have been proud of me, but I doubt that I can keep it up all evening.’

  ‘Then come home with me,’ Anna suggested.

  Rachel shook her head. ‘No, Alex would be wondering where I was.’

  Jill glanced at Anna. ‘Then we’ll come home with you and stay until Gary’s gone.’

  Anna nodded. ‘Yes, that’s a g
ood idea.’

  ‘But you must want to get back to Liam,’ Rachel said anxiously.

  Anna draped Rachel’s coat around her shoulders. ‘Don’t you worry about Liam, Rache. He’ll understand.’

  Epilogue

  Rachel put baby Jamie down in his cot, leaning over to stroke his dark curls and marvel at the length of his lashes. He was only six months old but he was already an integral part of her little family and she found it hard to remember what life was like without him. Drawing the curtains, she crept out of the room and crossed the lounge to step on to the balcony and breathe in the balmy, Mediterranean air. She smiled at the shrieks coming from the children playing in the pool and imagined Alex and Jamie playing there together next year.

  Going into the kitchen, Rachel put on the kettle for some coffee, sat down at the table and opened Anna’s laptop. Signing on to MumSpeak, she saw new entries on a couple of threads she’d been following and quickly tapped into the first to read the latest news on Daisylee’s mother-in-law problems.

  Oh girls, she’s at it again! She stayed over last night to let me and Hubby have our first night out in months. Very generous, I know, but when I came home, Babs was sweating buckets because she’d put a blanket over her. I’d explained – at least once – that it was important not to use blankets with a sleeping bag on, but of course, she knew better! Don’t get me wrong, she’s not the worst but she just won’t be told. I think I’m going to have to ask Hubby to have another ‘little chat’.

  Immediately, Rachel tapped in an answer.

  Hey, Daisylee, hang in there and try to keep your temper. Just remember, whatever she’s like, she loves your little princess and she’s still your prime babysitter!

  The next thread was one Rachel herself had started. She had looked for views from other mothers about returning to work. There was one new reply.

  Hi, Al’sMum, thrilled to hear that you’re thinking of taking a part-time job!! Please don’t worry about the baby. He’s going to thrive in a crèche with the other babies and you’ll still have him to yourself in the afternoons. Very best of luck with it, GalwayGal

  Rachel smiled and tapped in a reply.

  Tnx, GalwayGal, I’ll let you know what happens. x Al’sMum