Just an Illusion - The B Side

by D. Kelly

  He kisses the top of my head, and I snuggle in closer to him. “So was the placement significant to you? It could have been your wrist, shoulder, low back, or forearm, but why here?” he asks, tracing the tattoo again.

  “It’s going to sound girly.”

  He chuckles against the top of my head. “I like girly, in case you haven’t noticed.”

  “Okay, but don’t laugh. So it’s below my hip but basically right above my pelvic bone. I put it there so only you could see it. Even in a bathing suit, I’m pretty sure it will be tucked away nicely. I don’t care if people know I have it, but this seems intimate somehow.”

  “Very intimate,” he murmurs while playing with my hair.

  “And I was going to get Noah instead, but I started thinking about it and realized Weston would be more appropriate because eventually … years down the line … those bones are going to move to make room for the babies growing inside of me. At least one or two Westons will come from these hips. I guess I thought … I don’t know, I just loved their name being in the area they’ll grow would be sort of special.”

  “It’s so fucking special, Mel. But I don’t know … one or two is calling it low. I picture at least four or more. Especially since twins run in the family.”

  I flip over and pop a kiss on his lips. “No way, Noah, these hips won’t spread that far. No twins allowed.”

  “Tell that to the Weston powerhouse sperm. I’m only the delivery method, they’re the ones who work their way to the final destination.” He sounds so fucking happy.

  “And that’s why we’re not having babies for years. Our sex life is way too phenomenal to give up on it this early. We need to practice for a long, long time.”

  With a yawn, he pulls me back into the crook of his arm. “Our sex life is pretty damn amazing. Merry Christmas, Amelia. Thank you for the best gift ever.”

  “Merry Christmas, Noah,” I reply with a yawn of my own. As I fall asleep, the only thought in my mind is how extraordinarily lucky I am to be here.

  The Holidays

  Morning comes quickly. For someone who isn’t a morning person, Noah is bright-eyed and ready for action. And when I say action, I don’t mean the good kind. He’s as bad as one of the kids, dying to go open his presents and give me mine.

  We make our way out to the living room, where everyone seems to be gathering. The girls aren’t even up yet, but I’m sure their uncles will wake them soon. Karen is brewing coffee for all; I’ve never been more thankful for her than the moment she passes me the first cup. Even Sawyer is smiling from ear to ear, not seeming to care I got a cup before him.

  Belle pulls me aside and eyes me up with a curious glare.

  “Morning, Belle. Merry Christmas.”

  The side of her mouth pulls up in a crooked grin “Mm hm, I bet it is. Noah must have given you some present last night.”

  A blush creeps up my face as I pull her into the bathroom. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I got up for some leftover pizza around one in the morning and the way you were calling out his name even got me hot and bothered. What the hell did he give you to deserve that performance?”

  Shit, I didn’t realize we were so loud, but we were pretty drunk. “Um, it’s actually what I gave him.”

  “Well?” she prompts, her hands on her hips. I never intended to keep this from her. If Noah wants to tell anyone, that’s his choice.

  “In the vault, Belle, okay?”

  She nods excitedly, and I pass her my coffee to hold while I gingerly lower my pants and peel back the bandage. Seeing her eyes bug out of her head is worth everything. I don’t think I’ve ever surprised Belle this much. She places my cup on the counter and hugs me.

  “I’m not sure I ever thought I’d see the day, but this is almost as good as a wedding ring. Shit, Mel, no wonder he made you scream like a banshee. He probably came once just from looking at that sexy ink.”

  “Hardly. He saved all that for me. And damn … it was all that.”

  “So I heard. What does this mean exactly?”

  Her brown eyes twinkle with excitement. “It means someday, way down the road, I’m going to accept a ring, get married, and after years of phenomenal sex, be his baby mama.”

  “Good, that’s exactly what should happen. For some reason I can’t picture you or Noah having an oops baby like me and Darren. I could totally picture Sawyer having ten of them, though,” she adds with a laugh.

  “Honestly, I picture Sawyer more with paternity suits out of nowhere. Hopefully, that never happens. He deserves more than that.”

  Belle’s mood turns somber for a minute. “How’s that going?”

  “We’re friends, Belle. Serious, honest-to-goodness friends. I’m not sure how we got there, but we’re in a great place. I love Sawyer, but he’s not the one for me.”

  “Does he know that?”

  “He does. Sawyer is constantly encouraging me to have patience with Noah and reminding me how much Noah loves me. It was rough in the beginning, but Sawyer loves his brother and would never do anything to hurt him.”

  A soft knock at the door interrupts our talk. When I crack it open, Noah is smiling at me. “Is this a private party or can anyone join?”

  “I’ll let you two talk,” Belle says, ducking out behind Noah as he walks in and locks the door behind him.

  “What was that about?” The knowing twinkle in his eye already tells me he knows what we were up to.

  “She heard us last night, Noah!” I whisper-shout into his ear.

  “Yeah, well … I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone on that side of the house heard us last night, Mel. We weren’t exactly quiet.”

  “I’m so embarrassed. How can I go out there knowing they all heard us?”

  Noah laughs and pulls me close. “Everyone in this house, kids aside, has had sex. If they haven’t been embarrassed at some point, they’re not doing it right. We were on fire last night. Mel, and I’m not going to apologize for that. Were you showing Belle your tattoo?”

  “I was. I can’t hide that from her. She’s the only other person who sees me in all stages of getting dressed. But I’m not telling or showing anyone else. It’s your gift, you can shout it from the rooftops if you want to, but I’m not showing it off to anyone else.”

  “I wouldn’t expect you to, and I have no current plans to shout anything from the rooftops. But Sawyer is about to wake the girls up, so we need to go open presents.” He kisses me quickly and opens the door.

  Sawyer pauses as he walks by. “Last night wasn’t enough for you two?” The glimmer in his eye tells me he’s teasing.

  “I’m never having sex again,” I mumble.

  Sawyer laughs. “Why would you punish yourself like that? From the sounds of it, Noah was doing everything right.” Still laughing, he walks down the hall to get Saylor and Emme. Noah’s even laughing, but I don’t find it funny. After grabbing my coffee, I head to the kitchen for a refill.

  Thankfully, everyone is already gathered in the living room and chatting excitedly. Rob and Diane both have cameras out, ready to record, and when the girls run into the room with Sawyer right behind them, I understand why. Talk about a priceless memory. I’ve only been the kid at Christmas; I’ve never seen the excitement of other kids at Christmas. Everyone in the room is beaming with every squeal and scream as the girls try out their new gifts from Santa.

  Once it dies down a bit, Noah, Sawyer, Emme, and Saylor play Santa and pass out gifts to everyone. I excuse myself for a moment to get Belle’s gift from the bedroom. When I come back, the whole room is in disarray with people opening gifts. As I hold Belle’s gift in front of her, she reaches for it with grabby hands.

  “Yours is in that pile somewhere at your feet, but this one is for the baby,” I tell her, and she immediately pulls all the tissue paper out and holds up the pink and white onesie.

  “Auntie Mel loves me most.” She hops up and manages to avert the pr
esents at her feet as she gives me a hug. “This is the cutest thing ever. Thank you.”

  Even Darren seems to think it’s adorable. I make my way over to Noah where he’s saved me a spot on the floor next to the couch. It’s a full house in here and it still amazes me they all spend the holidays together.

  “When did you get that?” he asks as he passes me a gift.

  “Yesterday, when I was out. Once we found out it was a girl, I wanted to get something especially for her.”

  “That’s really sweet. Sawyer has already claimed favorite uncle so you may have a fight on your hands.”

  “Sawyer can bring it. I’ve known Belle longer than he’s known Darren. He can be favorite uncle but I’m all-time favorite anything.”

  Noah just chuckles and moves on to opening more gifts. Everyone is floating in a sea of presents. It’s too chaotic to pay attention to what everyone is getting, but I make sure to call out my thank yous as I open each gift. Once I’ve opened them all, Noah hands me a square box.

  “This is from me,” he says shyly. As I open it, I feel everyone’s eyes on me. Inside the box is a C.D. labeled “Mel’s EP” and a USB stick. The back of the case says Songs for Mel.

  “Noah, what is this?” I already know; my trembling hands and tear-filled eyes give it away, but I can’t believe he would do this.

  “That’s what I was doing in the garage. Making you your own … mixed tape of sorts. These are all songs that remind me of you, or of us, in some way. I promised you more songs, Mel, and this time I stepped out of my comfort zone to give you exactly what you asked for.”

  “That is so sweet,” Diane says from the love seat.

  I put the present down, place both of my hands on his cheeks, and kiss him senseless. I don’t even care that everyone is watching. “This is the best present ever. Thank you, Noah.”

  With a shy smile, he nods and laces our fingers together. Everyone is smiling at us like we’re too adorable for words. Maybe we are.

  “Noah is so fucking whipped,” Sawyer says after our affectionate display. Of course, the little ears pick up on it.

  “Daddy, what does whipped mean?” Saylor asks innocently, and Sawyer leans his head back and laughs.

  “One day, Sawyer, it’s going to be your kids asking questions and I’m going to have a ball making sure you get payback,” Rob tells him as he tries to refocus Saylor on her toys and not her naughty uncle.

  I know it’s Christmas and everyone is having a great time, but all I want to do is go to my room and listen to the music Noah made for me. In a way it’s like having a present I still can’t open. As the hours pass and the day turns to night, the alcohol flows freely again. By the time we get to go to sleep, neither Noah or myself can walk a straight line.

  “So … how was your first Weston family Christmas?” Noah’s words are slurred as he pulls me down onto the bed with him.

  “It was fun, but all I want to do is listen to my present.”

  “Is that so?” he asks, climbing on top of me. “Because I want to listen to my present, too. I think we can give them a run for their money on last night’s show, how about you?”

  With Noah’s hardness pressed up against me, any thoughts of music are completely out of my mind.

  “I think that can be arranged,” I reply as he moves his mouth to mine.

  It’s New Year’s Eve. Since Christmas, Noah and I have spent almost every waking second wrapped around each other in bed. In what little free time I’ve had outside of the bed, I’ve been constantly listening to Noah’s music. Having the house to ourselves for a few days has been absolute bliss.

  Darren took Belle away for a few days, Sawyer is spending time at J’s before we go back on the road, and their family left the day after Christmas. Warren, Sam, Anna, and Wyatt went back up to San Diego for a few days before we go back on the road.

  I thought they would be doing one last show for New Year’s, but Noah said they left that scene behind years ago. He did say he has plans for us tonight and for me to dress casual and warm. For the last few hours, he’s been running errands while I’ve been relaxing and getting ready. Noah’s version of “Let it be Me” by Ray LaMontagne is flowing through the speakers, and like anything Noah does, it’s amazing.

  I’m trying to pick out what to wear. So far, I’ve got an emerald-green bra and panty set to match Noah’s eyes. The weather is mild—in the upper sixties—but if we’re going to be out it could get pretty cold. I just wish I knew if I was dressing for warmth from car to building, or like waiting all night to see the Rose Parade. Finally, I settle on jeans, a sweater, and a pair of Nike’s. I can bring a jacket just in case.

  While I wait for Noah, I go back through my notes from the holidays. I got behind in work after the accident, but I was able to catch up while Noah was working on my album. At some point, I’m going to have to start writing, but there’s so much information to take in and organize. My photos help because they help me keep a timeline. Different cities each week, new fans, so much hype, and four men who are absolutely nothing like I would have expected them to be. Their public image isn’t even close to who they really are. And that’s what I want to showcase—them. These four amazing men who value family, friendship, and love over anything. I want their fans to get to know them as I have; maybe they’ll have a better understanding as to why this is the end for them.

  Luckily, I have a year to complete the book once the tour is wrapped up, but I’m so excited to begin the writing process I doubt it will take that long. I’m pulled from my musings when my phone dings with an incoming message.

  Sawyer: Just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year, I know we won’t talk later.

  Me: Thank you! I hope you have a Happy New Year, too. What are you guys up to tonight?

  Sawyer: No good, most likely the usual. Party at the bar, meet women, party with women after the bar.

  Me: Well … be safe.

  Sawyer: Enjoy your night, Princess, you’re going to have a great time.

  Me: You know what he’s planning? I’m completely in the dark!

  Sawyer: Of course, who do you think helped him plan? Noah is smooth but sometimes even he needs help.

  Me: Thanks for helping your brother with his plans.

  Sawyer: There’s not much I wouldn’t do for him, or you, Princess. Enjoy your night.

  Me: You’re sweeter than you let on, but I won’t let your secret out of the bag. P.S. Don’t forget to use your own condoms. Never trust a groupie.

  Sawyer: Thanks for protecting my virtue and my image. No babies for me anytime soon, don’t worry.

  I send Sawyer the video link for “Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith and wait for his reply. It comes pretty quickly.

  Sawyer: Oh, Princess, you can do better than that. I would have thought this would be more your speed.

  I click on the link; it’s “Tonite” by D.J. Quik, and I bust out laughing. This song used to be my and Belle’s jam.

  Me: That song is so much more my speed! I’m beginning to think you know me too well.

  Sawyer: Just well enough. Night, Princess, we’re off to the bar.

  Me: Night, Sawyer … stay safe <3

  “What are you smiling at?” Noah asks as he walks in with a beautiful bouquet of red roses. Wearing a pair of dark jeans, black Vans, and a black long-sleeve Henley, he looks fucking scrumptious.

  “Your brother. He wanted to say Happy New Year early. He also said he helped you plan my surprise and I should enjoy it.”

  “You are absolutely going to enjoy it, and he didn’t exactly help me plan so much as help me execute said plan.”

  “So are those for me?”

  “Well, I don’t know,” he says, stalking toward me. “You are the only smoking hot woman in this room with the name Weston tattooed on her skin. You tell me, are they for you?”

  He’s in a playful mood tonight. “They’d better be, or else I’m going to be sleeping alone tonight.” />
  Noah pulls me close and tugs my bottom lip into his mouth “Not a chance. I’m not sleeping alone ever again if I can help it, and neither are you.”

  “Am I dressed okay?”

  He makes a show of looking me over head to toe and then spins me around and smacks my ass. “You’re perfect. Tonight is all about me and you.”

  “Should I bring a jacket?”

  “Sure, but I’m not sure if you’ll need it. We’ll have to play it by ear. Are you ready to go?” His eyes are dancing with happiness; I can’t wait to see what he has up his sleeve.

  “Absolutely”

  Locking my arm in his, Noah leads the way through the house and out the back door. The stairs down to the ocean are all lit up with tealight candles. When we reach their private beach, there’s a white canopy tent set up. Like the kind they use for weddings but on a bit of a smaller scale.

  “Noah, what is this?”

  He pulls me into his warm embrace and kisses me tenderly. “I promised you a night under the stars and tonight is our night. Come see.”

  As he leads me to the tent, he points upward; it’s then I notice the top of this tent is clear plastic. When I look around, I’m amazed at all he’s done. There is a queen-sized air mattress topped with warm blankets and big, fluffy pillows. There are battery-powered heaters in the corners and lanterns next to the bed, as well as on the table where our dinner waits for us. Champagne is chilling on ice and roses are on the tables, accentuating the romance. The best part of all might just be the wooden floor underneath us so we’re not plowing through sand.

  “This is amazing. How did you manage to do all of this in only a few short hours?”

  With a shrug of his shoulders, he pulls me back into his arms. “There’s not much money won’t do if the price is right. Not to mention Sawyer and J helped a lot. And just in case you’re wondering, there is a security team in place in case some drunk partiers make it this far down the beach. It’s unlikely, but sometimes it happens.”