The Way We Roll

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  I became a little melancholy and decided to call Jackie. I wanted to find out how the Betas at the University of Southeastern Arkansas were doing since they’d lost their chapter soror.

  “Honestly, Malloy, it’s so hard. Some of us still want to call her. Some are so happy that Keisha is okay; some want her in jail. I just don’t think all this is over. Thanks for holding me down that night.”

  “No problem. I just wanted you guys to know we’re sorry all this happened.”

  I hadn’t known Rose at all, but to be at her service and hear what type of girl she had been, how much everybody cared about all she’d done, made me know Heaven was richer now that she was there. Jackie and I talked about that a little more, and I tried to give words of comfort. Then she congratulated me on crossing. “You going to our bowl game?”

  “I’m sure my mom is going to make me go to support my brother. I can’t believe they’re playing in the big NCAA Division I Bowl.”

  “Yep, we’re headed to New Orleans, baby, for the Sugar Bowl. I’ll see you down there then.”

  “Cool.”

  A week later, it was Christmas. The day was great. My dad and brother came over for a big meal. We weren’t a typical family, but we made the best of it. I wanted to let my parents know how much I cared about them doing so much for me. Though they had hurt me in the past, I knew it wasn’t intentional. Plus, life was short. No day was promised.If I wanted things to change or to be different, I had to be the one to take a stand and make that happen. Being in a sorority had taught me a lot. It taught me not only to care about myself but to be proactive in wanting change.

  So I said to my family at Christmas dinner, “This is really nice, the four of us sitting around at the dinner table together.Mom, Dad, you guys have given me and Mikey so much. Financially we are set. Maybe we don’t say thanks often enough. I’m letting you know how appreciative we really are. I guess I just want to do better and make you proud. And I want us to spend more time together like this.”

  As I kissed my father on the cheek, he said, “That’s a good present to give your dad. Hey, maybe you and Mom will come to New Orleans and check out your brother and the Razorbacks in the game. Kade came up to me and asked if you were going to be there.”

  “Are you serious, Dad?” I said.

  “Yeah. For him to talk to your pops, he’s got to think something of you, because I looked him in the eyes and let him know straight up I don’t play. He knows my baby don’t need his money. Even if it is gonna be many times mine.”

  “I’ll take it,” Mikey joked. “For real, he likes you, and I’m actually pretty impressed. You didn’t just give him everything he wants like every other girl he’s come across. Malloy, you’re pretty special. I’m letting you know his feelingsare real. I wouldn’t tell you that if I thought he was planning to hurt you. Now, I’m not saying he’s going to be perfect, and I’m not saying he won’t let you down, but he won’t let up. Every time I see him, he’s not talking about any game strategies, he is asking about my sister.”

  “Crazy,” I said, not knowing what to think about Kade.

  Six days later we were excited that Arkansas beat Michiganin the Sugar Bowl. I was waiting with all the other parents and friends for my brother to come out. Girls were looking me up and down. I knew word was I was Kade’s girl. They didn’t have to cut me with their eyes though. He and I were through.

  Kade’s mom came over to me and said, “Honey, my son is a special young man, and I don’t want just anybody in his life. I know y’all are young, but I believe he deserves only the best and classiest young lady in his life. Whatever he did wrong, give him a second chance. He needs you.”

  I turned around, and he was standing right there lookingbetter than I could have imagined. He was the MVP of the game, and that honor usually went to offensive players. I tried as hard as I could to hold back the desire I was feeling for him.

  Then he looked right at me and said, “Tell me you’ll give me another chance.”

  13

  BASKET CASE

  In front of his mom and my parents, Kade let out his feelings for me. I tried to act as if I hadn’t missed him over the last few weeks. Like I didn’t care that we weren’t going to be a couple anymore and he hadn’t put one hand on me, but I could feel his presence consuming every inch of my body and soon I was overcome with emotion.

  “You don’t have to cry,” he said. “This is a good thing, and I’m not trying to go nowhere. Trust what I’m saying, I’m for real.”

  My dad leaned over to him and said, “We’re staying at the Marriot. We’ll make sure your mom gets to her hotel. You take care of my daughter. Y’all, talk. But I expect to see her at twelve o’clock.”

  “Yes, sir, twelve,” Kade said, shaking my dad’s hand.

  “Good game.” My dad said and then looked at me. “Malloy, is that all right with you?”

  I could only nod, not wanting anyone to see the tears welling up in my eyes. I did care for Kade, but my soror Sharon cared for him deeply as well. How could I go down this bumpy road again? Regardless of my feelings, I walked with him.

  New Orleans was still recovering from Hurricane Katrina,but the renovated Superdome was lovely. Although it was the last day of December, it wasn’t that cold down South, so we were able to walk back to all the festivities and enjoy the University of Southeastern Arkansas’ victory.

  “So, we’re been together for about fifteen minutes. You’re not talking to me. I know you’re thinking something,Malloy. I’m not trying to scare you, but I love you.”

  “You can’t tell me that, okay?”

  “What? You don’t want me to love you?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just—”

  “It’s just what? Open up. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Well, I thought you loved Sharon at one point. Now all of a sudden when someone else came on the scene, what you felt for her flew out the window. We’re sisters now, and all this is so sensitive. I know she still loves you. She and I are cool now, but if I get back together with you, it’s gonna add more drama.”

  “I hear you on the sorority thing because I have that type of deep bond with my teammates. I know it’s real, and I know there are certain lines you don’t cross. The sister bond is strong, but you and I were together before you got letters, and if you remember when I first met you, I had a girlfriend I was going to break up with. It wasn’t some fly-by-night decision. I decided to end things with her and be with you. Now that there ain’t no baby standingin our way, we can be together. Sharon’s been told over and over again that we’re through. I just want you.” He eased closer to me. How could I pull away and deny the best connection I’d ever felt? I didn’t realize I was tremblinguntil Kade pulled me to him and said, “You cold?”

  Looking away, I said, “I guess I’m just nervous, Kade.”

  “Well, how about this? Let me calm you,” And he put his lips to mine, warming me from the inside out.

  That kiss truly confirmed that I was his girl. There wasn’t passion alone in his kiss, but so much more. When he stepped away, I thought I would fall down. That’s how much he had me off balance.

  He must’ve thought I was crazy when I lost it and said, “I just don’t know if I can do it. I just don’t know if I can give you my heart and have you stomp on it. Everywhere I went this weekend, some girl was talking to her crew about wanting to get with you. You’re gonna be a number-onedraft pick. I know that in my heart. Kade, you are so talented. Why do you even want me? You’ll have it all.”

  He took me in his arms and placed a soft kiss on my forehead and said, “I won’t have it all till I have you. Malloy, you are priceless. Love me back. I know you have your own dreams. You want to be a big fashion designer.I’m behind you, baby. I’m waiting for the day we see your name in lights.”

  I was so confused. I had no idea what to do.

  When I got back to my apartment after winter break, I was ready to start the new semester. I wa
s so excited to get back to my own space. My dad had bought me a new comforter set, and my mother had gotten me a whole new bath set. I was going to give my apartment a makeover.

  Kade hadn’t let up since New Orleans. He’d sent roses to my mom’s place. He’d texted me so much with sweet messages that my inbox was full before I could check every one of them.

  He was planning to come visit before he started all the training for the Senior Bowl and the NFL Combine—two big events that would help him show the pro scouts what a great athlete he was. I wanted everything to be perfect for our time together. Deep down I knew I couldn’t stop my heart from wanting to be with this guy.

  Yet my dream was shattered when I opened the door and found my place ransacked. The cloth furniture had been ripped with a knife, and there was spray paint all over the walls spelling disgusting words my mom always told me I was never to call myself—or anyone else, for that matter. The lamps were thrown here and there, all my dishes were broken into a million pieces, and my bedroomwas more of the same.

  Seeing it all shot chills up and down my spine. I was mortified. This was crazy. Who would do this to me? Who would take me through such torture, and for what? I picked up the phone but could not get a dial tone. I looked at the cord; it was cut.

  I just fell to my knees and cried, “Lord, why is this happening?Is the person coming back? Please give me some clarity. Give me some answers. Help me.” I ran out and knocked next door. I really needed Sirena. She’d know what to do. She’d help keep me calm, but apparently she wasn’t back from Christmas break.

  I dashed to my car, frantically searching for my cell phone. Finally I got it and called Torian. “Hey, please tell me you’re back.”

  “Yeah, girl, I’m back. I was just hanging out with Trishaand Sharon.”

  “Sharon? What—what do you mean, Sharon? I thought she went home to Texas?”

  “Nope. She’s back this semester. She was here all Christmasbreak,” Torian said before she whispered into the receiver. “She’s real upset that you and Kade are back together.

  Instantly I ran back into my house and looked at the graffiti on the wall. Dream killer. Family wrecker. Hope slasher were the only words that made sense. This had to be Sharon. She had ransacked my place!

  “You gotta get over here quick!” I said to Torian.

  “What? What’s going on?”

  “Somebody broke into my apartment. Torian, it’s pretty bad. Get Loni. My stuff is everywhere. Help me figure this thing out. Hurry.”

  I was waiting at the front door for their arrival. They were there in twenty minutes, but it seemed to take forever.

  “Oh, my goodnes! This is crazy! Who would do this?” Loni said as she looked through my apartment.

  In anger, I responded, “It’s Sharon.”

  “No, Sharon did not do this,” Torian said.

  “Yes, it’s Sharon. I want to call an emergency meeting with the whole sorority. I want her to admit to me that she did this. She’s gonna be responsible. I’ve called the police.”

  Torian said, “You can’t tell the police she did this. If she did it, we gotta handle this in house. You know how we roll. We don’t rat each other out.”

  “Look at my place! Look all around here! My life is destroyed. She’s that crazy, she’s that obsessed, she’s that ticked that Kade does not want to work things out. Maybe she needs to cool off in the pen. Give me Trisha’s number. She’s there, right?”

  “No, I’m not giving you Trisha’s number. Y’all aren’t gonna yell and scream and fuss all over again. Let’s calm down and try to figure this out.”

  “Give me the doggone number now!” I screamed. “You know what? I got Hayden’s number. I don’t even need your help. If you ain’t gonna be there for me, get out!”

  “I’m just saying you don’t even know if she really did it, and you all talking about trying to start World War Three in our sorority. We just came out of a whole bunch of mess, Malloy. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “Look around—it’s a bigger mess now, so you gotta take sides, Torian. You gotta decide if you’re down for me or if you’re going to stand with Sharon and think that her crazy actions are justifiable. Yeah, she lost her baby; yeah, she lost her man; but you know what? She can’t just take it out on Malloy Murray. She cannot wreck my life. That’s not cool!”

  Torian came over to me, touched my shoulder, and said, “Okay, okay, you need to calm down. We’ll get this figured out.”

  I shoved her away. “Don’t tell me to calm down! This isn’t your life that’s screwed!”

  “All right, y’all, settle down,” Loni said. “Malloy, you know we’re with you, right? Torian, tell her.”

  Reluctantly Torian nodded. I walked away from them both. They followed and stared at me with genuine concern.“Can y’all help me get to the bottom of this? Help me make Sharon pay.”

  They nodded again. We hugged. I called my folks and convinced them I was fine. I told them I was staying with Torian and Loni for a while. I knew my mom could hear in my voice that I was rattled. I didn’t think I would be fine until Sharon paid for what she’d done.

  I left Kade many messages. I knew he was training, but this was important. When I needed him, I needed him to be able to pick up. I was frantic that I couldn’t. After the police came, I answered all their questions, including who I thought did this, and they filed a report. After, I went to stay with Torian and Loni.

  “Okay, Trisha just called me back,” Torian said as she hung up her cell. “She says Sharon doesn’t want to come over and that she emphatically denies doing anything to your place.”

  Grunting, I said, “Of course she’s gonna deny it. Why would she admit anything? Her butt’s gonna have to go to jail. They’re dusting my place right now for fingerprints. Call her up now and tell her that.”

  “Didn’t you just hear me say she didn’t do it?” Torian said as Loni handed me a glass of water. “Well, I was with her. She did not seem like someone who had just committeda crime. She was upset about Kade, but not enough to harm you. Heck, he cares about you. Don’t worry about your place getting messed up. You can replace it all. You got loot, plus your man is about to make millions of dollars.Give it up.”

  “Are you kidding? It’s probably gonna cost five grand to fix the damage she’s done. And I am not paying for it.”

  I was so angry at them. Loni was quiet, but I knew as she nodded in agreement with all of Torian’s statements that she wasn’t really on my side. My cell rang, and it was my brother.

  “Mikey, my place is trashed.”

  “Yeah, Mom told me. You don’t need to stay over there.”

  “No, I’m with my girls. I’m just trying to get in touch with Kade. His crazy ex did this.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Why are you gonna question me?”

  “I’m just asking. Dang! But you’re right, she could have done this. Kade did say she was crazy. And to some people, being with him is like hitting the lottery.”

  Relieved someone could feel me, I said, “Speaking of Kade, have you seen him?”

  “Naw, he wasn’t at practice.”

  “What do you mean he wasn’t at practice? He’s supposedto come here after practice.” I just hung up the phone and started pacing back and forth. Where was Kade? Why wasn’t he answering his cell phone? What was he doing that wasn’t right? Was he cheating on me? Oh, I was absolutely losing it. I had never been so fragile where a guy was concerned.

  “You are not acting like a Beta.” Loni said. “Don’t let a man or whoever did this to your place control how you respond to what’s going on right now.”

  Sighing, I said, “Okay, you’re right.”

  “And if Sharon said she didn’t do it, as Betas we gotta find it in our hearts to believe that’s true.”

  “Are you kidding me, Loni? Are you joking?” I was hot again. “No way! Just because it’s a sisterhood, I’m supposedto believe none of us lie? Bye, y’all.”

  “W
here you going?” Torian asked.

  “I’m not staying in here with y’all.” I slammed their door, hurt that my buddies really were not on my side.

  I drove back over to my place, and was happy to see Sirena’s car. I guessed she was back after all, so I knocked on her door.

  “Oh, thank goodness you’re here, Sirena. Somebody trashed my place, and I can’t stay there.”

  “I saw cops and stuff earlier when I pulled in. What happened?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t know where to go.”

  “Well, you know you can stay with me until your place gets fixed. I have only the one bed, but we can share it. TomorrowI’ll even help you clean up over there.” She touched my arm, and I wasn’t sure if I was still shaken up because of my apartment, but she made me feel uncomfortable.

  Before it got any worse, I saw Kade’s car speed into the parking lot. Sirena still tried to get me to go into her place, but I told her I had to talk to him.

  He got out of the car and reached my front door. “Hey, babe. I got your messages. What happened to your apartment?”

  Angry, I asked, “Where’ve you been?”

  “I thought you were coming in?” Sirena said.

  “It’s my boyfriend, girl. I’ll knock a little later. I’m just trying to deal with him.”

  “Well, let me tell him that you don’t appreciate him coming over so late.”

  “Sirena, thanks, but I can handle my man.” I rolled my eyes at her, glad that Kade had come at the right time. She was so pushy.

  She slammed the door, as he tugged me over to his chest. “I’m sorry. I was meeting with a couple agents. I had my cell off.”

  “Oh.” I felt relieved and hugged him.

  We walked into my place, and I showed him the damage. Kade was so mad. How could I have ever doubted him?

  “I can sign with an agent, and he can front me money if we need to get your place fixed. I just can’t believe Sharon would stoop so low and do this.”