The Love Plan

by Erica Marselas

  Hell, I’m not even sure. I'm winging this.

  My first step in my plan is what I dub as the nightmare.

  It’s a key seller in porn. And Dex will never say no to me if I’m having a nightmare. At least I hope not. After Wes died, I found myself in his bed all the time. Back then, there wasn’t anything ever sexual about it He had been my security blanket and I think I was his too. Now it was time to change all that.

  I slip into a pair of red allover lace boy-shorts and a white silk camisole. I want to look hot, but not overdone. I tend to wear plaid pants and oversized shirts to bed. If I wore this every night I would freeze, and I’m not trying to impress my blankets, but I’ve never had to try so hard with Dex. Nor did I think I would have to try this hard now.

  I move across the dark hallway, turning on my phone to light my path. In part, I feel like such an idiot for doing this, but a girl has to do what she’s got to do. He’s asleep on his back with one arm above his head and the other across his chest. His mouth is parted and he’s snoring softly. I pull back the covers to reveal him only in a pair of black boxers. It isn’t fair how perfect his body is. His wide shoulders, his well-defined abs with that drool worthy V. But I guess he has worked for it. He’s always been a gym nut and ran track and played lacrosse in high school. Then after Wes died, Dex used exercise as a way to fight his aggression and a way to deal, which added to the layer of muscles.

  I lay my phone on his nightstand and crawl into his bed and snuggle into his side. My arms wrap around him and I lay my head on his chest listening to the sound of his beating heart. I inhale the crisp scent of his Irish Spring soap. The night of my birthday comes back to my memory. The touches, the kisses, the way he felt inside of me. I want that connection again. If only there were some serum to help his blackout memory.

  He hasn’t flinched since I came in here. He’s always been a bit of a heavy sleeper. I snuggle in closer and rub my hand along his six pack. My eyes start to droop, and I place a kiss in the center of his chest. “Love you, Dex, ever and ever.”

  Of course, out of all the things I have done, it’s the kiss that makes him startle. “What are you doing?”

  “I had a nightmare.” I yawn and curl further into his side.

  “What are you? Five? Go sleep in your own bed.”

  “No. Please, Dex. You never cared before.”

  “Well, do you have to sleep right on top of me?” He squirms, peeling me off his body. “And why are you naked?”

  “I’m not naked, you goof. I have clothes on. Please!” I beg. “It was really bad. It was about that night with Wes. And you're so cozy, and you always make me feel safe.”

  I shouldn't have gone there. It had been the first thing that popped in my head. It’s evil and I do feel dirty for even claiming it, and maybe I will spend my end of days in Hell for it. But in an instant, I'm pulled back into Dex’s strong arms and he kisses the top of my head. “Fine, you can stay. Just stop moving.”

  Wesley would forgive me. He would want us together.

  Though for some reason this knucklehead can't see it.

  “Thank you, Dex.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now sleep.”

  I wake up warm and entangled in the arms of the man I love. Pressed between my legs and digging deliciously into my sex is his impressive morning wood. I'm soaked and use the opportunity of having him so close to me to wiggle my hips against his dick for some friction.

  I'm pleased when he grip’s my ass pulling me tighter and groans. At least in his dream-like state he wants me.

  “Dex,” I say his name like a prayer hoping that he'll subconsciously hear my need for him.

  “Meadow…” My prayer is answered when he whispers my name back.

  “Yes.” I kiss the tip of his prickly chin and trace my nails down the side of his stomach along the hem of his Calvin Klein’s.

  It's the moment I know I went too far when his eyes fly open, wide in fear. He pushes my body away as if I'm a rabid dog. He shoots out of the bed, falling to the floor, taking the sheets with him in the process. His reaction is laughable but at the same time crushes a piece of my heart.

  “Geez, Dex. It's just me.”

  He stands back to his feet, throwing the blankets to the bed, covering me up, making me laugh harder. “I knew that.”

  He scavenges around looking for something and I bite my lip noticing he’s still erect.

  I want to reach out and put my hand around it…then my mouth.

  “Meadow!” Dexter snaps, drawing me away from a perfect daydream.

  “What?”

  “Stop...looking…” he grits out. A hint of pink appears on his cheeks as he slips on his gray sweatpants.

  My giggles return at his sudden shyness around me. “Chill out! You act as I’ve never seen it before.”

  I've seen Dexter Greene naked more times than I can count, granted the only time it counted was on my birthday.

  His mouth opens then closes before he scrubs his hands down his face. “I'm going to take a shower.”

  “Alright, have fun,” I call out as he moves nervously towards his bathroom.

  I fall back to his pillows glancing up at the ceiling. Well, that plan was a bust.

  We were so close, he muttered my name in his sleep, and still, I’m treated as if I have cooties.

  My head turns to the clock on his nightstand, and I note it's a little after eight. I guess I can cook us breakfast...while also giving him an extra glimpse of my special nightwear.

  I busy myself in the kitchen, turning on my favorite Spotify playlist, to make breakfast for us. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, I’ve been cooking my way into this man's heart since college. Now, there's no doubt that I have it, now if only I could have him completely heart, body, and soul, that would be even better.

  I'm so lost in the lyrics of Pink’s “Beautiful Trauma” and singing along that I don't notice Dex come into the kitchen till he clears his throat behind me.

  I peek my head over my shoulder and give him a flirty smile. “Mornin’ again.” I hold back my laugh at his appearance. His hair is still dripping wet from his shower and he's put on what appears to be an extra layer of clothing. I see a pair of basketball shorts peeking underneath his sweatpants and he's also wearing an oversized hoodie. “Cold?”

  “Where's the rest of your clothes?” he croaks, avoiding my question.

  “In my closet.”

  “You're such a smartass. I'm serious. Since when do you cook in your underwear?”

  “This isn't my underwear. They're called pajamas.”

  “And since when do you wear pajamas that look like that?” He runs his finger up and down my body and I smirk when I notice his eyes linger on my ass a tad longer then they should.

  I shrug. “Since now? Don't you like them?” I spin around and let him get the full view of my ensemble.

  He clears his throat and mumbles, "They're fine," before he moves to the refrigerator.

  At least, I know that I affect him. I go back to the griddle and hear him rattling around in the fridge behind me as I flip the blueberry pancakes and bacon.

  His favorite.

  “Do we have any more of those Mountain Dew Kickstarts?”

  “No, I think you drank them all. In fact, we don't have much of anything in here. We should probably go to the store if we don't want to live off take out all week.”

  “Yeah, we can go after our hike.” He sits at the breakfast bar and I can feel his lingering eyes on me as I place the pancakes on the serving plate.

  Bootylicious begins to play, and I turn up the volume to blast the song through my phone speakers. “Oh, I love this song.” I move around the kitchen to grab some cups and more plates. Though as I'm doing so, I channel my inner Beyoncé and shake my ass to show off for the guy at the bar. I just might not be as graceful as the queen herself.

  Dex clears his throat, and I whip my head around, so my hair goes flying. “Now what are you doing?
”

  “Dancing.” I laugh and set the plates down on the bar.

  “What you are doing is not dancing.”

  “No? Then what is it then?”

  “It looks like you're having a seizure.” He steals a piece of bacon and walks out of the room.

  “Hey, don't you want pancakes?” I yell after him, wondering where the hell he's going. I'm going to be pissed if all this food goes to waste.

  “Yeah!” he calls back, “once you stop scarring me with those lame dance moves.”

  “Asshole!”

  Dex and I finished a ten-mile hike up in Cronan Ranch Park. Hiking is one of the things we started doing when we were teens. The whole world around us is forgotten. All troubles are set aside and for those couple of hours, it's just me and him. I love hiking with him.

  Going grocery shopping with him, not so much. He's a pain in the ass when it comes to the chore. Like I become the mother, having to control their child from putting everything into the cart. I use the word ‘no’ way more than I should. Case in point, Dexter is grabbing two large bags of French fries from the large freezers and then throws them into our cart.

  “What are you doing now? We don't need those.”

  “Says who?”

  “Me.”

  He ignores me and turns back to the freezers to grab three personal pizzas and throws them into the cart on top of the fries. He's never going to eat those. They're only going to collect ice in the back of the freezer.

  “Dex!”

  “What?”

  “Put those back!”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me one reason why I should?”

  My finger darts out and I poke him in the stomach like he's the Pillsbury Doughboy. Instead of hitting something soft and squishy I hit a wall of muscle. “Because you're getting a little pudgy around the edges.”

  “Did you just call me fat?”

  “I didn't say...fat… just that you have a little pudge coming in.” I joke and when I go to poke him again, he swats my hand away. He turns back to the freezer and grabs another bunch of frozen dinners, causing me to break out in a fit of laughter. “Oh my God. You nutball.”

  “Hey, you only live once. Plus, they’re good.”

  “Don't come crying to me when you have to go to the gym to work it off.”

  “You know, it's no wonder people think we're married.”

  “Who says that?” My laughter stops. Where did this random thought come from?

  And why does he sound so annoyed by it?

  “Who doesn't?” he argues back, baiting me, and I cross my arms over my chest.

  “I've never heard it.”

  Lies, oh the lies. I've heard it said a million times, not that I mind.

  He rolls his eyes and throws his arm over my shoulder, kissing the top of my head. “You're so full of shit. I know for a fact Mel said it to you the other day.” Dex grabs the cart with his right hand and pushes it down the aisle along with me. “I mean how much more cliché can we get than grocery shopping together on a Saturday? Like, isn't this what all the tied down people do together? Like some kind of ritual.”

  “I wouldn't know. And maybe if you didn't eat all the food, we wouldn't have to be here all the time.”

  “You're the one always cooking for my ass.”

  “Well, someone has to or you'd starve.” I giggle and pat his sexy, firm tush that I wish I could sink my teeth into. He plants another kiss on top of my head and breaks away from me to the freezer. This time grabbing some frozen veggies.

  “What would you think about us getting a roommate again?”

  Okay. Whoa. Back the train up. What the fuck is going on?

  A roommate? Has he lost his damn mind?

  We should be making all these steps forward and now I suddenly feel we've made a million steps back.

  “What? Why?”

  “I thought maybe it would be good to have someone else help with the rent. It worked well when Mel and Steve lived with us before.”

  “Yeah, because they were our besties and even they got sick of us.”

  They got sick of us real fast. Mel lived with us for only four months before we drove her insane and Steve made it about six.

  “Because,” he stresses, “they think we’re some annoying married couple…all the rules…and shit…and set in our ways.”

  “I don't want anyone else. I like only us in our house.” I’m doing my best not to whine and stomp my foot like a spoiled brat. But right now, he’s out of his damn mind if he thinks I’m going to have anyone come into my house.

  “I think it’ll be nice to have someone else around again. It could be fun.”

  “Couldn't we get a puppy again? Maybe one for each of us this time. It would be nice to be fur parents again.”

  His eyebrows twist, looking at me as if I'm insane. “Oh, because that would really help with anybody thinking we’re not married.”

  “What's the issue anyway?” I grab the cart and shove it down the aisle away from him. I'm finding myself offended because this shit never bugged him before. We always laughed it off, even before my feelings developed into more. “You never cared if I said those things before.”

  “Nothing,” he chuckles, catching back up to me. “It was just an idea. I only want you to think about it.”

  I needed to vent. I needed to scream. Hell, I needed to punch something, but I settled for liquor at Roxann's with Mel and Steph. This is where we usually go to sing Karaoke every other weekend, but now the only song I was singing was a swan song as I gave up on convincing Dex he loved me.

  “He wants me to think about getting another roommate. Do you guys believe this?”

  “I totally could get on that…” Steph holds up her finger with a grin eager to take me up on the deal.

  “No,” I snap, folding her finger down.

  “Hey!” Steph frowns. “I’d be the best roommate ever.”

  “Not like that. I love you, but I don't want anyone else coming in on my Dex time.”

  “You are such a greedy little thing,” Mel snorts with a roll of her eyes. “Your Dex time because you don’t already have him hogged tied for yourself.”

  “What is with you lately and all the tying down references?”

  “I discovered kink. When you finally hook up with Dex again, I’ll loan you some books.” Mel nudges me. I can only imagine the reading material she has on hand.

  “Well, you might be waiting forever. I’ve done everything I can think of to try and turn Dex’s head and he still only thinks of me like some sister.”

  “Why not use the words. Hey, Dex, I LOVE YOU. They would be so much easier.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “But nothing. He does love you.” Mel grabs my hand. My eyes close and I'm hit with the vision of that night—the pain in his eyes when he was over me telling me he can't love me.

  “I'm not sure. Yeah, he told me in a drunken confession that he was in love with me, but even his drunk confession was doubtful. I’m not sure sober Dexter is aware.”

  “What do you mean?” Steph asks curiously.

  “I thought a lot about it. And when he mentioned not being able to have me, I think it has to do with Wes.”

  “Wes?” Mel stutters baffled. “But Wes has been gone for seven years…”

  “I know, but I don’t know, to Dex I was and have always been Wes’ girl. He always got weird when I dated again. It’s just my guess. I’m afraid if I say anything to Dex and he blows me off or says he really doesn’t feel the same it’ll change everything. Or admit to him we did sleep together and it makes him mad. I don’t want to lose my best friend. I want Dex to realize for himself he loves me. I don’t think that’s so wrong, is it?”

  “And what if he doesn’t?” Steph asks.

  “At least I always have him.” I shrug. Yet, as I say the words, I’m not totally convinced that it’s enough.

  “What if we gave him a push?” Mel snaps her finger
s and I swear a light bulb just lit up above her head.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Oh come on. I’m talking about every single cliché romance movie and book ever written. We get Dexter to see what he’s missing. You haven’t dated since you got lovestruck with him, so maybe it’s time you did. Make yourself unavailable—and then, ding, he’s gonna want what he can’t have.”

  “And how do we pull that off? I don’t know anyone that I could just use like that.”

  “Oh, I think we do. And he so happens to be good friends with Dex too.” Mel grins.

  My mind goes through our list of friends, of who the hell she could possibly be thinking of, and I'm coming up blank. “Who?”

  “Julian.”

  “Julian? As in Dex’s boss? No way.” I love Julian, but he's not my type and I doubt Dex would believe it.

  “Yes, way. He’d be perfect for this. He was with us when we were all laughing it up about how hard headed you two were about your feelings for each other at your birthday party as you two dry humped in the middle of your living room.”

  “Wait! You guys were talking about us?”

  “Yeah. You two are like this little mini soap opera for us.” Mel cackles, and Steph nods in agreement. Yeah. I guess we are pretty dramatic. “Anyways, now that we know there's more to this story. We want to help.”

  “Okay, but wouldn't it be better with someone we don't know.”

  “I think it would work better with someone that would be okay with being duped, don’t you think?” Steph chimes in, before taking a sip of her margarita.

  “I guess, but why Julian? They work together.”

  “Okay, so Julian’s name sort of pulled out of my ass. But he’s awesome. And he’s what I like to call a panty charmer. You know him. We all know him. So, it’s not like you would have to do anything, and I totally know he would be on board to mesh you two lovesick crazies together.” Mel grins, clapping her hands. “It’ll be great.”