My Side (A Thin Ice Novel)

by Tara Brown

  He gave me a stunned look. “Really?”

  I nodded.

  His face lit up. He cupped my face and kissed me until I was dizzy.

  We all sat in the living room with Irish coffees after my mom left. Loch got his guitar and sang for us. It was like a private show. Gerry’s foot never stopped keeping the beat, and eventually, he grabbed a couple wooden spoons and drummed, using the mantel and a glass of water. It was awesome.

  Dad seemed to really like them. He was in awe. I think his mid-life crisis made him want to be friends with them. Lochlan’s voice was amazing and soft in such a small space. The gravelly sound was more present. I loved him. He finished the song, and I tried to see past the stars in my eyes. I was exhausted.

  “I’m going to bed. You coming?” I asked, putting my cup in the kitchen.

  He glanced at my father and shook his head. “No. I’ll sleep in a guest room.”

  My dad’s eyes opened wide. “Son, don’t be crazy. We’re liberals. I know you’re committed to my daughter, and you already live together.”

  Lochlan chuckled and suddenly his Tennessee got so thick he sounded like an episode of Duck Dynasty. “Sir, I don’t live with her like that. She won’t agree to it. I won’t disrespect your house that way.” He looked at me. “Or your daughter.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Night.”

  I climbed the stairs to my room. It was supposed to be the attic of the house, but when Daddy had it built, he made them convert it into a huge loft. It was all mine. Danny got the basement, and I got the attic. Smiling, I looked around the room. My marching-band pictures were still on the mirror. I dragged a finger across the dust.

  In the last five years, it slowly got dustier and less sparkly. Mom was clean and tidy, and slightly crazy with her OCD. Dad was busy. Busy meant frozen pizza, cleaning lady once a week, and TV as a companion. Grade twelve had been a hard year with them divorcing, but it had made things better. I couldn’t deny it.

  Mom relaxed, controlling the space she had, and Dad enjoyed sitting with his one hand tucked in his belt and a beer in the other. She wasn’t nagging him and it pleased them both.

  I pulled on pajamas and climbed into my bed. The cool air made me miss Boston. I liked our apartment. I liked it being the two of us—well, and Danny. But he was more of a pet.

  I pulled the covers up, switched off my light, and closed my eyes. When I heard his footsteps, I smiled.

  “You’re a loser.”

  He made a sound I didn’t recognize. I opened my eyes to see a glint of something in the moonlight. It shone bright—sparkled.

  I frowned. “What’s that?”

  He whispered. “Be mine.”

  I closed my eyes. “What are you doing? Are you proposing? ‘Cause I already told you how that makes me feel.”

  He climbed onto the bed next to me. “No. I would, but your ex-boyfriend already stole the thunder on the one-month proposal. This is my idea of a guarantee. I know you won’t marry me, but wear this and be mine.”

  The ring was huge. I shook my head. “I can’t accept something like that from you. Are those diamonds? Is this your first time having money?”

  He laughed. “Sometimes you’re such a bad person. They’re white sapphires so you don’t say something shitty, like I can’t accept that from you, and is this your first time having money.”

  I laughed softly. I looked up at his face. “I am yours. I don’t need jewelry to prove the point.”

  He flicked the light on and pulled the ring out of the Tiffany’s box. He took my hand and slid it on my ring finger, but of my right hand. I looked at it and smiled. The band was a music note that wrapped around my finger. It was amazing and stunning. I looked up. “Okay.” I did love white sapphires.

  His blue eyes lit up. He lay beside me, not kissing me.

  “Why won’t you sleep with me?”

  He looked over at me. “I don’t like to do things my mom would be ashamed of.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Liar.”

  He made a condescending face. “I mean, the stuff I would actually tell her. I’m sure she has no desire to know about the random acts of . . . anyway. If she ever asked me if I disrespected you . . . ” He gave me a sincere look. “I don’t lie to my mom. She’s a saint.”

  I smiled and kissed his nose. “You’re so weird.” I was already touching the ring, rolling it back and forth. How did he know my size? How did he know I would say all of that? How did he know me so well? I thought about the things I would have guessed about him. There weren’t many things I was sure of. Of course, I was predictable and he was chaotic, but that didn’t help me. “I think you’re being dramatic. We’ve had sex and neither of us is innocent in anything.” I held my hand up. “And you gave me a ring.”

  He kissed my cheek. “I have a serious question to ask you.”

  I waited as a smile played with his lips.

  “Is there seriously something called the Fargodome?”

  I laughed and smacked him. “You suck. Stop with the Fargo hate. That movie won a lot of awards. It was well done, and yeah, so we talk funny if we relax our hold on the accent.”

  He rolled on his side. “Just say it. Say oh jeez, or yeah, or the heck do you mean, or okay. Say it.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “What’s in it for me?”

  His look melted my heart. “I gave you my heart, a ring, my loyalty, and I think you even have my soul. What more do you want?”

  I licked my lips.

  He nodded. “Fine. I’ll make it worth your while.”

  Thinking about it for a second, I nodded and put my hand out. He shook it and kissed it softly.

  I cleared my throat and gave him an evil look. He grinned. I sighed and spit the whole thing out at once. “Ohhhh Jeez, Marge. You okaayyy? Ohhh yaaaaaaa, me tooooo. What theheckdoya mean?”

  He laughed hard, silent but hard. He shook his head. “Brilliant. I never knew you had it in you.”

  “Me either,” I rolled my eyes and turned the light off. “My payment, sir.”

  He flicked the light on. “I want to see you.”

  I made the sound I made around him. “No lights.” I closed my eyes but he bit my arm. I gasped. “Owwww.”

  He gave me a look. “You watch what I do or no deal.”

  I pleaded with my eyes. “No. That wasn’t part of it.”

  He got a wicked grin. “My way or no way.” I had already humiliated myself in front of him, so how was this different? I nodded before he got some crazy notion about leaving.

  He pulled down my boxers, kissing my calf and massaging my leg, as he made his way up to my thigh. I sucked in when he kissed to the top of my thigh. He ran his tongue across to my slit, licking the whole way up. I clutched the sheets, forcing myself to look down on it. It was hot, seeing the passionate look in his eyes, but it was much hotter seeing his tongue flicking into me.

  He sat back and kissed my other leg. He took his time, kissing and licking until his tongue was back between my legs.

  He got a devilish look on his face as he inserted his finger into me. “You want this, princess?”

  I was having a hard time taking a full breath. I nodded. He was slowly dragging his finger in and out of me. It was so slow, I tried to push against him, to fuck his finger myself. He shook his head. “What should I do next?”

  I felt the horror on my face. He dragged the finger slowly, agonizingly slowly. “You tell me what to do, or I stop.”

  “Faster,” I managed to get out.

  He tilted his head. “Faster how? One finger or two?” He inserted a second finger. I moaned. “Two.”

  His smug smile lifted. “You want me to fuck you like this?” His fingers thrust faster. I gasped, but then he changed his movement. “Or do you want me to massage the G-spot?”

  My eyes started to droop. “G-spot.”

  He ran his free hand up my torso, lifting my shirt and freeing my breasts. He slid down beside me and started to suckle, also slowly. He bit my
nipple lightly, tugging it. Watching him wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. It was beautiful. His perfect lips wrapped around my nipple, kissing and sucking, making me hot. He smiled. “What’s making you so wet? The watching or the feeling?”

  I bit my lip. He stopped everything and looked up at me, expectantly. I growled. “All of it.”

  “You like watching?”

  I nodded. It was a white lie. I didn’t like it, but it turned me on.

  “I can’t hear you.”

  I gulped. “I like watching.” My words were weak, desperate.

  He sat up again, sticking a hand under me, tilting my angle by grabbing a handful of my ass. He thrust his fingers fast again, but maintained the motion he was doing. My eyes shut, there was no opening them. He fucked me, until I lost control and came for him. He rubbed his thumb over my clit as the pressure released. I clamped around him, twitching and trying desperately to not cry out. My ragged breath was interrupted by his lips.

  He slid his tongue into my mouth, pulling his fingers out as my orgasm ended. He kissed me, taking my breath from me. His lips played with mine, toying with me with nibbles and bites.

  I whispered into the side of his face as he kissed my cheeks. “I want you to fuck me, Loch.”

  He shook his head.

  I opened my eyes. “I want you inside of me.” I pleaded with my eyes.

  He gave me a look. “No. This is non-negotiable.”

  I pushed him on his back and climbed onto his cock. I moved slightly, pushing my wetness against his rough jeans. He clenched his jaw. “Piss off, Erin.”

  I grinned at him and said it before I lost my nerve. “I’m going to fuck you then.”

  He laughed, something like the bad guy in a movie would. It was dark and sinister. I slid his shirt up the way he had mine, so only his mouth was showing. His nose and eyes were covered by the shirt up over his head. I leaned forward and sucked his bottom lip, biting it. I raked my nails down his inked chest and dropped my mouth onto his nipple barbell. I flicked it with my tongue as my hands went for his belt. Undoing his pants was hard, being on top of him and holding him down. He was trying to struggle with his shirt. “Joke’s over. This is exactly what I want, but come on—not here. I promised your Dad, baby.”

  I hopped off of him, grabbed a couple scarves from the rack on the wall and leapt back onto him, just as he was pulling his shirt down and giving me an evil look. I shoved his head back, wrapping a scarf around his wrist.

  “Oh, you wanna play this game, do you?” a darker smile crossed his lips. He tried to pull me off with the other hand, but I pushed his arms down with my legs. My bare pussy was close to his face. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Well, I was sure, but I wasn’t letting myself think about it, or what I wanted to do about it.

  I wound the scarf to the bedpost and grabbed the other one. I dragged his hand and tied it to the other post. He wasn’t fighting me anymore, not that he had even come close to fighting me. His breathing was messy and his heartbeat was wild.

  I sat back and looked at him, my prisoner. I smiled at myself, but then I didn’t know what to do next. I ran and grabbed a condom from my bag, giving him a wicked grin.

  I wriggled my lips and looked back at the massive erection he was sporting. I got up and pulled his jeans and socks off. I dragged the boxers down and looked at him. Running my hands up his thighs, I dug in hard. He was soft with me, maybe too soft. I wasn’t going to be. I raked my nails up his inner thigh and grabbed at his skin. He sucked air.

  I kissed his thigh, next to his balls. I didn’t have the guts for dirty talk, so I had to work harder than he had. His singing and dirty talking was half the orgasm for me.

  I sucked one of his balls into my mouth. He gasped again, making me grin. I kissed next to his cock, sliding my tongue along the shaft. He was writhing. “Put it in your mouth.”

  As if by instinct, I tugged his barbell. He moaned. I shushed him with a giggle. I kissed his belly right where the top of his cock was. He tried pushing to make it go in my mouth, but I moved again. I dragged my tongue down the other side of his cock.

  I’d watched porn. I had something of an idea on what to do. I’d given a blowjob before, but not to someone like him. I sat between his legs and grabbed his erection. It was strong and thick. I bent forward and licked the top. He bucked. I grabbed his barbell again. “Sit still, dammit.”

  He grinned. “Suck it.”

  I laughed. I liked the tone in his voice and the words he said. I bent forward and put the head in my mouth. I licked my tongue all around, getting it wet. He was moaning and thrusting on his own by the time I got it in my mouth. I could swallow back half of it. I wasn’t a porn star, just a porn Googler. I licked up and down the shaft and put my mouth on it again, lowering as far as I could go. I stroked the part I couldn’t fit in my mouth. He was getting into a rhythm, and I could feel his cock starting to tense in a funny way. I stopped instantly. He tried to push it at me. “Erin, you’re killing me. Come on. Finish me off, baby.”

  I sat there with my hands on his thighs and an evil idea in my mind. Who knew I was such a deviant. I opened the condom and rolled it down his throbbing cock. I crawled up his body and sat on his erection. His breathing stopped. He struggled with the scarves and blindfolds. “Don’t you do that.”

  I rotated my hips, sliding my wet slit up and down his hardness. He shook his head. “I gave my word.”

  I leaned forward and lifted his cock. “Screw your word. You gave yourself to me. So your word only matters to me.” I lifted it back and slid myself down the shaft. I moaned as he filled all the space there was, and even made some room. I lifted and sat back down.

  His mouth was completely slack, as if frozen in shock. I could have clapped my hands, giddy with the control I had over him. He was big and strong, and yet, there he lay, under my thumb.

  I rode him, slowly like he had me. I lifted right to the head and sank back down. My breathing was starting to go nuts. I moaned and rotated my hips. I sat forward sticking a nipple into his mouth. He sucked and I fucked. He sped up the flicking and sucking, and somehow it made me move quicker. I was about to orgasm a second time, but I stopped myself. I sat there, pulsating on his shaft. I made a hard decision. I slid up him slowly and let his erection lie back on his belly, covered in me.

  He shook his head and tried to get out of the scarves. I leaned forward and kissed his lips. “Your word is intact, sir.”

  He snapped at me. “I’m going to fuck you so hard.”

  I grinned against his face. “I don’t think you will.” I ran my fingers along his chest, tracing his tattoos and laughing softly.

  He flexed and ripped one of the scarves a bit. I saw how red his hand was from the blood pooling in it and wanted to help him get it off, but I didn’t. I sat back on top of his erection, resting it between my wet lips and giggling, as he struggled with it all. The shirt made moving his arms difficult, and the scarves were not easy to tear. In a hard tug he got one hand free. He pulled the shirt off his head. His eyes were black as night. He ripped the second scarf to shreds and growled. My heart was racing. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him with all my might. He sat up, grabbed my hips and positioned me for reentry. He thrust in, grabbing my hips and forcing me to ride him.

  His thrusts were rough and angry. The sex was angry. I leaned back and he pushed me on my back. He shoved back inside of me, plunging deep and hard. He nestled his face into my neck and moaned into my hair when he came. He instantly took my hand and shoved it down between my legs. “Finish yourself off with me inside of you.”

  I nodded. I was wild with the near orgasm. I started, fast and intense. I didn’t need a buildup. I didn’t have to rub long when I clamped down on his hardness. As I came, he gave me a few thrusts. I closed my eyes and smiled. “You’re sleeping here too.”

  He nestled into my neck. “Yes, ma’am.”

  I almost came again when he said it.

  We laid there a minute, wrapped in each
other and completely disgusting. He kissed the side of my head. “I knew it. I fucking knew it.”

  I gave him a confused look. “What?”

  “You almost sat on my face, which by the way, don’t hesitate next time. I love it. You tied me up, pulled my barbell, teased me into oblivion and forced me to fuck you.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “You are not a nice girl, and I just want it noted for the record, Your Honor, that I said it from the beginning. Not a nice girl but a naughty girl.”

  I laughed and blushed. “Let’s take a shower, and I can tell you all the things you didn’t do quite as well as the Brothers of County Claire.” I grabbed his hand and tugged him to my ensuite.

  “I’d let those brothers fuck you, just to see it done better than that. That was some hot sex.”

  I looked at him doubtfully.

  He wavered. “Okay, I’d kill anyone who talked to you, but you get the point. Those lame-ass Claire brothers ain’t got shit on me.” He looked at my bathroom. “Seriously?”

  I started the shower. “What?”

  “Your own a full bathroom?”

  I smiled. “Hey, I’m the princess, remember?”

  He snorted. “I knew that about you too, the minute I saw you screaming and waving that mace at me.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Night Life

  The bar was packed. I scowled at Danny. “I wanted to go to Stormy’s Sledsters.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Big D’s is more fun.”

  “What’s a sledster?” Lochlan leaned in and whispered in my ear.

  I laughed and gave him an amused look. “Winter sports are big around here. We get a lot of snowmobile enthusiasts. We call them slutters, instead of sledders but you get the general idea. They take their rings off, and they’re single for the weekend.”

  He laughed. “It’s like Vegas for guys who like winter sports. You got college girls and horny men with cash.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, but less like Vegas than you’d imagine.”

  He snorted. “I can see that.”