by Jahquel J
“She gonna have to deal with it. Hazel is my wife and she’s not going anywhere.” He lifted my hand and placed a kiss on it.
It was this that I loved about this man. I didn’t need to fight for my place in his life. He constantly reminded me and had no problem telling anyone who wanted to know that I was his woman. He was telling people I was his woman before I was even his woman. It felt nice to be claimed, appreciated and loved. Being with Yolani and then Denim was night and day. They were two different people and did things totally different. It was going to take me a while to get used to how Denim did things. To him, I was his queen, and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for me. If this nigga thanked me one more time for keeping the baby, I was going to chokeslam his ass. Keeping the baby wasn’t about him, it was more about me and what I wanted. All I’ve been doing was begging Yolani about us having a baby. She never wanted to hear me and would laugh it off. Now that I was blessed with a baby, why was I trying to get rid of it? God was only giving me what I had been asking for, and I wouldn’t dear deny a blessing from the man above.
We had an amazing dinner with Lucci and his wife. Me and Denim walked through the hotel holding hands and smiling like newlyweds.
“Baby, one second, let me answer this call, it’s my business partner,” Denim told me and walked off to answer his phone. Usually, I would be jealous and suspicious of someone stepping away to answer a call, but not this time. I knew that Denim was being truthful when he told me that he was handling business. I smiled because I thought about the first time he called me. He happened to have called me on my business phone, which caused me to giggle.
Yeah?” I answered my business phone. It distracted me from the rage I felt about Yolani’s ass not bringing her ass home.
“Why you gotta answer the phone like that?” Denim laughed over the line. My heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice.
“Denim? How did you get my number?” I gasped and sat up in my bed. It was amazing how I was angry moments before, and now my mood had altered almost instantly.
“I mean, you changed your number when you got with ol’ girl… the only way I could let you know I’m back in town was from the number on your shop.”
“How do yo—”
“You know my mama was gonna put me on,” he cut me off and I laughed.
“So, how are you? How long are you back in town?” Each question spilled out the mouth as fast as the first one was asked.
“I’m back for good. Just opened a sneaker store up in Harlem,” he informed me. “Found me a nice ass condo over in Bayridge, Brooklyn.”
My heart dropped when he said he was back in New York for good. “W...what made you leave Los Angeles?”
“The shop I opened there is doing good, and it was time to open one in my hometown, feel me?”
“Uh huh… so what’s up?”
“Meet me for dinner tonight.”
“Tonight? It’s snowing outside.”
“Snow ain’t never hurt nobody… I’m sending a car to come scoop you,” he told me and ended the call.
How did he know where I lived? Denim was the one who got away. He was my ex-boyfriend, and we dated for a few months before he moved to California. Denim wanted me to move with him and I declined. It was around the same time that Yolani had told me she loved me. How was I supposed to up and move with her revealing that to me? I couldn’t and that’s why I told Denim that I couldn’t move with him. He didn’t get mad or shit on me, he told me that he would always keep in contact with me, and he did. Except, now I was married to Yolani. I couldn’t just pick up where we left off when I had a wife.
“The fuck you clutching your phone to your chest for?” Yolani’s raspy voice made me jump out of my skin.
Putting my phone back on the nightstand, I recovered quickly. “My phone should be the least of your fucking worries. Where the fuck you been all night?”
“In my damn car. Shit was too damn deep and coming down too bad to keep driving. My phone died too, so you know I was bored as fuck.” Yolani messed with her hair when she lied. Right now, she was messing with the tip of one of her four braids.
“Why the fuck do you feel the need to lie to me? You weren’t in your car the entire night, Yolani, so why you lying?”
“Damn baby, I was calling you.” Denim broke me from my flashback I was having. Thinking back to the arguments we used to have didn’t make me miss Yolani’s selfish ass. It did make me wonder how she was doing, and if she was alright. You didn’t just stop caring for people overnight. Even if she wasn’t with me, I still wanted the best for her. With her doing coke and thinking that it was fine to do it, I worried about her a lot.
Leaving her was something that I had to do for myself. I would have gotten sucked into a web that I’m not sure I would be able to get myself out of. I loved Pit Pat and Yoshon, but I couldn’t stay in a toxic relationship because my love I had for them. Knowing them, I knew they would be happy for me. I made a mental note to give Pit Pat a call when I made it back to the hotel room.
“Sorry, I was zoned out,” I smiled.
“Remember tonight is the night for my friend’s party. We going to a club and then some strip club.”
“I remember. I’m going upstairs to lay down and watch movies. Today was eventful and I just want to order room service.”
“We just ate,” he laughed.
“Um, that little itty-bitty food. I’ll be hungry right again. Plus, this baby makes me hungry.”
“That baby is the size of a pea, stop fronting,” he called my greedy ass out. I knew the baby wasn’t making me eat all of this, but I was hungry as hell and needed someone to blame.
“Shut the hell up!” I pushed him as we stepped onto the elevator.
“I’m just saying. You out here ‘bout to be all swollen with my baby in your stomach and my ring on your finger.” He smirked as he said those words.
“Who would have thought? I didn’t see my day ending with me being your wife. It’s funny how life works.”
“Yeah, the man upstairs is funny with the shit he does.”
“Um, did you just curse with God in the same sentence?”
“My bad.” He pulled my hand and we exited the elevator. For some reason, Pit Pat was on my mind, and I needed to call and have a conversation with her. If I was home, I would drive to the house and be with her. Just sitting near that woman has calmed down and made me feel at peace. Yolani took her grandmother for granted and liked to call her annoying and never appreciated her. This was a woman that dedicated her entire life to her grandkids after her daughter passed away.
“Go and shower so you’re not late. I don’t want them blaming your new wife on your being late.”
“Damn, that was my excuse,” he shot back and I flipped the middle finger at him. “I’m fucking with you. Your ass better stay up and wait for me tonight.”
“Bring home some Henny dick and I’ll be ready,” I winked.
When a nigga had Henny dick, it was the best dick in the world. They never got tired and could go for hours. Having a plastic dick being rammed in your hole for years, and then finally getting the real thing had me addicted. While women loved to complain about Henny dick, I was one that welcomed it with open arms. The way me and Denim went at it, I don’t know why I was shocked to find out that I was pregnant with his baby. Sex was just another thing that we were on the same level with. Often, you had a person who you could talk with and connect with. Then, when it came to having sex, the connection was only there mentally and not physically. When it came to the both of us, we got it on both mentally and physically.
I scrolled through my phone and found Pit Pat’s number. While Denim was in the shower, I dialed her number and waited for her to answer. “Hello. Hazel, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Pit. You were just on my mind and I wanted to call and check on you.”
“I’m fine,” she sighed and I could tell I had woke her up. “I’m worried about you. How are you? Yolani
won’t talk much about you.”
“That’s fine. We’re broken up. I’ll let her tell you why.”
“You don’t think that you will get back together? Hazel, you know you’re like another granddaughter to me.”
“Pit, I got married to my ex-boyfriend. I need time to tell Yolani; I just wanted you to know why I haven’t been around.”
“Married? Lawd, how when you’re a Santana?”
“Yolani never filed the papers so we’re not legally married.” I guess Yolani never felt that she had to explain this to her grandmother. Then again, I wasn’t surprised. She never told her grandmother anything.
“I pray for my bull-headed granddaughter of mine. I love you, Hazel and you need to come see me when I get back to New York.”
“I will.”
“Nothing changes between us. I want to meet that husband of yours,” she surprised me when she said that.
“You will. Go back to sleep and I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.” I smiled as I ended the call and undressed from the white silk sundress I wore.
Laying down, I shed a tear. Just talking to Pit Pat had me emotional. I loved that woman. She accepted me with open arms and had always been there for me. She was there for me more than my own mother was. Eventually, I got tired of thinking and drifted off to sleep.
12
Alicia
“Why are you even having communication with your ex-wife in the first place?” I held the phone in my hand.
Grand rolled over and grilled me as I stood with his cell phone in my hand. While I was cleaning our bedroom, I ran across his phone on the dresser. The shit pissed me off when I noticed he had been stalking his ex-wife’s Facebook page and had sent her a message along with a phone call. I knew all about Golden and how she cheated on him and ran off with his son. That bitch didn’t realize how great of a man she had, and that was why I was sitting in her place. Grand was a hardworking man who loved and appreciated his family, and she couldn’t handle that. There was no need for him to have no contact with her stupid ass. Each time he brought her up and how she did him wrong, it pissed me off. If cheating and leaving wasn’t enough, she lied to the police about him raping her and Grand was arrested. If I ever saw her in life, I promised myself that I was going to whip her ass all up and through the street.
“Why the fuck you going through my phone?” was the first question that he wanted to ask instead of answering my damn question.
“Grand, don’t play with me right now. After all she done to you; you writing her. You lucky I’m carrying your baby, because I would beat her ass.”
“Chill. You forgot I got a seed with her? All of this is for my son. I gotta play nice to see my son,” he explained and I calmed down. “I’m doing all the watching of her social media because I want to make sure my son is straight and being take care of,” he continued to make me feel at ease.
“Babe, we need to just get custody of him. When she skipped town with him, you should have done that.”
“With my record and just being released, my lawyer advised me that I shouldn’t be thinking about that right. All I’m trying to do is get money, chill and love on you, baby.” He held his arms out, and I climbed into bed into his arms.
“I know. She just makes me so mad because of what she did to you. You didn’t deserve that.” I didn’t understand why Grand took it so lightly. I went more hard for him about the situation and he’s the one who actually went through it.
“Stop stressing my baby out about something neither of us can change. I told you about going through my phone too.” He pinched my cheeks and I giggled.
“Sorry, you know these bitches get me crazy. How many bitches back in Virginia was mad that a New York girl snagged you up.”
“Yeah, they were in their feelings,” he confirmed what I had already knew.
I met Grand when I was heading to have fun with my girls. Never did I think I was going to find love after hooking up with this man. He beat my pussy up so good that he had me stuttering on my way back to my hotel. That next night I tried avoiding him and he found me and snagged me up. This dude had a way with words and was so different than his dumb ass friends. After that weekend, I left with his number and the promise that I would come back alone to kick it with him. Three weeks later, my ass was riding the bus down to see him. He showed me around his stomping grounds and then showed me his crib. This house was beautiful with all the bells and whistles. When we were just flirting on at Virginia Beach, I thought he was broke like his friends. I mean, they had money, but they were acting broke like they couldn’t buy my girls a drink.
It was then that I had landed what I’ve been looking for my entire life. Someone to take care of me. Grand took me and upgraded my life instantly. I could thank my ill nana because he was hooked. When I first was visiting him, I came down on the bus. Once he started taking care of me, I was taking Uber rides from Brooklyn all the way to Virginia. He footed the entire bill and didn’t even trip about tipping the driver. Eventually, he hired the driver to do the drives off the books. He slowly opened up about things and we grew closer to each other. When I found out that I was pregnant, I knew I had to tell my aunt and uncle and bring him, so he could meet them. Grand knew I didn’t want to live in Virginia, so he got a condo, so I could stop sleeping on my friend’s couch.
My aunt was always happy for any and everything I did. She was my biggest cheerleader since my parents died. My cousin, Hazel, she was always skeptical and had smart remarks about my multiple relationships. Nothing I did was ever good enough for my big cousin. The more I tried to make her proud, the less she seemed like she liked me. Living with Hazel was hell. She was spoiled and liked things her way. I was always the annoying little cousin, even though we were a year apart. Soon as I was able to, I got my shit and moved out with a boyfriend I was seeing at the time. My aunt begged me to stay and wanted me to be here until I found an apartment. Living with my moody cousin wasn’t an option for me.
The thing about it, was that I didn’t hate my cousin. I looked up to her in so many ways. She was much smarter, stronger and business savvy than I was. Her obsession had been nails since I could remember, and she would do nails out the basement for less than she was worth. When she opened her shop, I was so proud of her. As we got older, we both had things going with our own lives that we didn’t connect much. Once in a while, I called to check in on her, and she did the same for me. Now that we were both pregnant, I was hoping we could bond and become closer. We were both about to embark on motherhood and didn’t know what to expect, so we could lean on each other for support. That was my hope, and I prayed my cousin had the same mindset as I did. Majority of her issues with me came from her own issues with her mother. My aunt wasn’t the biggest fan of anything that Hazel did. She didn’t like that she did nails, she didn’t like that she liked women, and she didn’t like that Hazel went on and did what she wanted, despite what anybody said. She was just like her mother, which is why my aunt couldn’t stand it.
When my aunt was so excited for my pregnancy and then turned her nose up at Hazel’s pregnancy, I was hurt for my cousin. How could you celebrate one and not the other? Despite the circumstances of both pregnancies, we were both blessed to bring children into this world. That was a reason to celebrate about in the first place. Often, I wished my parents were here to witness this with me. My father would have loved Grand. They were looking over me and smiling because I had got it right this time. It took a while and a lot of mistakes, but I think I finally found the right one. My baby was going to be born into a home with a lot of love. I knew Grand had another baby mama and she couldn’t stand me. Grand broke up with her a week before we got together. She was the main reason I refused to live up in the big ass house he had. The bitch threatened to do a bunch of shit to me and I didn’t feel safe.
“What you over there thinking about?” Grand brought me from my thoughts. He had a way of deterring me from worrying too much. It was as if he knew
that I was freaking out in my head and calmed me down by removing me from my thoughts.
“I was thinking about us. I’m just so happy that we’re together, having a baby and have a home together.” It was true. I was the happiest I’ve been since my parents passed. Grand was sent to me by my parents.
“You know I have to go back and spend time with my other seeds, right?” It was the price I had to pay for loving a man that had kids out of state,
“She needs to let you have the kids for a couple weeks. I don’t mind keeping them while you work.”
“Nah, Tasha already in her feelings about us. I’m not trying to piss her off.”
Sitting up, I screwed my face up and stared at him. “What the fuck you mean you’re not trying to piss her off? Fuck her!”
“You keep trying to come in my life and stir up chaos. I don’t need that shit right now. If I need to play nice to see my kids, then that’s what the fuck I’m going to do. You can either get with it or become one of the baby mama’s I gotta play nice with.”
“Fuck you, Grand.” I got off the bed and left the room and went into the living room. Grabbing my cell phone, I went onto the balcony and called my cousin. I didn’t have many friends, and the ones I did didn’t want to be bothered because they thought I was going to ask them for something.
“Hey, are you alright, Alicia?”
“I’m good. Just irritated with Grand. I wanted to see if you wanted to meet up or something?”
“Uh… I guess when can do that.” She stalled for a second. We didn’t hang out so I understood why she stalled before answering. Not to mention, anytime I wanted to meet up with her, I was asking her to borrow something.
“Cool. I’ll set something up this week for us to hang and do some shopping. Anyway, how are you and how’s the baby?”
“I guess the baby’s fine. I haven’t been back to the doctor to check on it.”
