Black List

by Lynn Raye Harris

  He followed her toward the city center. He figured she was meeting Angie again, but when she parked and got out of her car, she didn’t head for one of the restaurants that fronted the harbor. Instead, she seemed to walk aimlessly, wandering into shops and coming out again with no bags. She did that for almost forty minutes before she reached Ego Alley and kept going toward Susan Campbell Park. When she got to the end of the park, she stood and stared out at the waters of Spa Creek where it met the Severn River.

  His phone rang. It was Ty. Jace wasn’t miked up because this wasn’t an active mission and phone communications were fine. “Yeah?”

  “You’ve been wandering around for an hour. Just checking.”

  “It’s Maddy. She’s the one wandering. Think she had a hard time at the nursing home.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah.”

  Ty hadn’t met Maddy personally yet, but he knew her file as well as Jace did. It was part of the job. The fact Ty understood and cared said a lot. Some of BDI’s operatives were questionable but that was because Ian had a cover to maintain. Those guys didn’t get anywhere close to the truly important stuff. They were off in remote locales, doing whatever minor tasks Ian needed done and feeling like Rambo whenever they did it. They were all former military of some description, but former military didn’t always mean they were worth a damn.

  “I’ll let you know if anything changes. She might be meeting her friend. Maybe she’s early.”

  “Copy that.”

  Jace ended the call and stood near the park entrance, watching as Maddy continued to gaze at the water. A few people wandered by, but no one who looked suspicious. One woman jogged by him and into the park, made a loop, and then sat on a bench not too far from Maddy. She took out a phone and started to scroll.

  Maddy still hadn’t moved. Jace wondered what she was thinking. Wondered what had happened at the nursing home to make her feel this way. His heart throbbed, urging him to go to her.

  He shouldn’t. Of course he shouldn’t. But he wanted to.

  “Shit,” he muttered. Where the hell was this tenderness toward her coming from? He didn’t get attached to anyone or anything. He knew how precarious it was. How quickly it could be ripped away.

  But he wanted to.

  He took out his phone. Dialed Ian.

  “What’s up, precious?”

  Jace snorted. Ian was simultaneously the most irreverent guy he’d ever known and the most serious. “Think it fair that you know I’m considering talking to her.”

  There was silence on the other end of the line for a long second. Then a sigh. “Can I ask why?”

  A light wind ruffled Maddy’s hair, playing with the strands the way he’d like to if they were in bed together. “You can ask. I don’t have an answer.”

  “That’s an answer. Whether you realize it or not. So why are you telling me this if you plan to do it anyway?”

  “I thought you might talk me out of it.”

  “Okay, let’s give it a whirl. Talking to her might compromise you. If they’re watching her, and you get involved, they’ll know who you are. Where to find you. You’ve been hidden a long time now—do you really want to risk exposure?”

  Jace clenched his jaw tight. Did he? “I’m not worried. I can take care of myself.”

  “All right.”

  Jace blinked at the sudden capitulation. “That’s it? Just all right?”

  “Can I stop you?”

  Jace watched the lonely girl staring at the water. He had no softer emotions left. They’d burned out of him a long time ago. Yet here he was, feeling soft. Needing to know why. “You can order me not to.”

  “I’ve been in this business a long time. When something pegs your instincts, it’s best to listen to it. Besides, you’re an experienced operative. You know what’s right.”

  “You’re helpful, boss.”

  Ian laughed. “It’s part of my charm. Now get the fuck off the phone and either follow the girl or talk to her. Your choice.”

  It was a cloudy day with the threat of rain. Maddy stood and watched the sailboats plying the Severn River that connected to Spa Creek. Some people would sail no matter what. Didn’t have to be a sunny day, or even a warm one.

  She could see the Chesapeake Bay Bridge in the distance, tall spans seeming to rise into the clouds. She had such good memories of living with Mimi. Mimi had been a sailor, and she’d taken Maddy out and taught her how to sail. They’d had a sailboat, The Miss Madeline, that Mimi had bought when Maddy was still a baby living with her parents. Maddy had to sell it a few years ago now.

  She missed that boat. Missed Mimi. Today was the first day Mimi hadn’t known her at all. There were times when Mimi didn’t know her at first but remembered, or a memory would come out that involved her and suddenly Mimi would look lucid again and peer at her, “Maddy girl, where have you been?”

  The answer was always the same. “I’ve been working, Mimi. But I’m here now.”

  Today, Mimi never remembered her. Hadn’t even talked about her. She’d talked about her son, Christopher, and told Maddy all about his big important job in the Air Force and how he was coming by to see her later today.

  He wasn’t coming, of course. He’d been dead for sixteen years. Maddy missed her dad and today had made it even worse. It was like the family that she loved so much existed somewhere else without her entirely. Like she’d never been born. Of course she knew it wasn’t true, but it hurt.

  Days like this, she almost wanted to call her mother just for some connection. Except her mother wasn’t the connecting type, plus she was too caught up in her life with her husband Richard and their two kids to even care about Maddy.

  Maddy dashed her fingers beneath her eyes as the tears pooled and spilled over. “Stop it,” she hissed. “Just stop.”

  But it wasn’t that easy. It never was.

  And standing here wasn’t helping. Maddy whirled. Best to just get her car, pick up take-out somewhere, and go home and binge some more Covert Affairs. It got her mind off Mimi, but it made her think of Jace and Russia. And dwelling on what happened there brought its own kind of angst.

  What she really needed was a work assignment where she could lose herself in someone’s art collection. Lately, all she’d been getting were things she could do from home, and that didn’t occupy her mind nearly enough.

  She rubbed the tears from her cheeks and kept on walking until she was amongst the shops and restaurants of the quaint City Dock again. Her car was in the parking garage over on Gorman Street and she was making her way toward it when someone bumped into her in front of one of the restaurants on Main Street.

  She stumbled backward. Strong hands gripped her shoulders and steadied her. Maddy looked up to apologize for bumping into him. Her breath stopped as blue eyes in a handsome face stared back at her.

  “Jace?” Oh, idiot. Of course it was him, and she had to ask a question like she couldn’t put two and two together. Like maybe his identity had changed? Though knowing him, maybe it had.

  “Hi, Maddy.” He smiled down at her and his grip eased. “How are you?”

  Her heart decided to take about a hundred leaps forward, pounding so hard she felt a wave of heat wash over her. Any second and she’d be sweating under her light blazer.

  “I-I’m fine.”

  He reached up with a finger and skimmed the back of it over her cheek. It was shockingly intimate—and also shockingly sexy. Her body responded with more heat.

  “Looks like you’ve been crying.”

  “Oh, does it? Must have been the wind. I was standing by the water for a while.”

  He frowned, and for some idiotic reason all her defenses crumpled. She was feeling too raw, too alone, and here he was. Someone she’d been thinking about. Someone she’d been attracted to, but had resigned herself to never seeing again. Someone who confused the hell out of her and somehow—paradoxically considering their first meeting—made her feel safe.

  Maddy burst into tears
. “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” she choked out, waving at him as if sending him away from the crazy.

  She didn’t know what to expect, but strong arms going around her and tugging her gently into the circle of his embrace wasn’t it. He pressed her cheek to his chest and murmured something soothing. It took her a moment to realize it was in Russian. She clutched his shirt, curling her fingers into the soft cotton of the polo he wore. He stroked her hair and she struggled between embarrassment and relief that he was holding her and comforting her.

  “I’m so sorry,” she repeated, pushing away from him when she felt as if she could finally get herself under control. He let her go and stood tall, shielding her from prying eyes like her own private wall of muscle.

  “What happened, Maddy?”

  There were two damp spots on his dark shirt. Embarrassment swirled. She forced herself to meet his gaze. Her heart flipped. Why was he so attractive? Why was she so damn needy right now?

  “It’s my grandmother.” His expression changed and she realized how that had sounded. She rushed on. “She’s fine… but she didn’t know me today. Not at all. Not even a glimmer.”

  It sounded kind of lame now that she said it. Because dementia was a thing and it wasn’t about her, it was about Mimi. Wasn’t it selfish to be upset because Mimi was lost in happy thoughts of the son she thought was still alive and couldn’t remember her granddaughter at all? Maddy should be happy that Mimi wasn’t in pain right now.

  “I’m sorry, Maddy. That had to be hard.”

  She sniffled. “It was. And now I feel guilty about it because she’s fine, you know? She thinks my dad is still alive and well, so why should I feel sorry for myself because today she didn’t know me?”

  “I think you’re entitled to be upset. She’s your family. You have a wealth of memories about her, and she had none of you today.”

  “I didn’t expect it. It hit me hard. She usually recognizes me at some point.” Maddy dragged in a breath. “They told me it would get worse. That one day she wouldn’t know me at all. But she could remember me again. Just in the tiniest of slices though. She’ll never be who she used to be.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I.” She shook her head. “You don’t want to hear about this. How are you? What are you doing in town? Am I interrupting something super important?”

  Oh jeez, what a way to ask if he was on a mission.

  “Nothing important. I’m on my way to lunch. You want to join me?”

  Maddy blinked. “I—yes, thank you.” No way in hell was she saying no. Maybe she should—she knew what he did, after all, and it wasn’t safe—but she really didn’t want to. She’d called Angie to go to lunch earlier, but her friend had a new client today and couldn’t get away.

  “Good. I know a place you’ll like.”

  He offered his arm. She looped hers inside it, shivering just a little at the thrill it gave her to do so.

  Oh Maddy, this is a very bad idea….

  Chapter Nine

  They had to walk a little distance, but Jace took her to a small restaurant on a side street where the tourists didn’t tend to go. The proprietor seated them at a table in the back and Jace pulled out her chair before taking the one opposite. The one that faced the entrance. He was armed, of course. He didn’t expect trouble, but he was always prepared for it. He didn’t walk into a restaurant or a store—or anywhere really—without scoping out the entrances and exits. He always knew where he was and how he was going to defend himself. Occupational hazard.

  Maddy fiddled with her menu. She seemed nervous, nibbling the inside of her cheek and studying the menu like she was going to be tested on it and the results meant the difference between life and death.

  Jace watched her, which probably didn’t help her nervousness. He knew she could feel it. Just like he could feel it when anyone stared at him. Between the two of them, however, there was something more.

  A wicked attraction. The desire to get naked and sweaty. He knew she felt it too. He could tell by the way her voice hitched in when she’d accepted his invitation to lunch. The way she’d clung to him as she’d cried.

  He wanted to strip her and see everything. Then he wanted to run his fingers and tongue over her body, exploring all her soft sweetness. He wouldn’t do any of it without an express invitation though. She might be attracted to him, but until she said the actual word yes he wasn’t acting on the hot, dirty thoughts swirling in his brain. He wasn’t the kind of guy who forced a situation at all.

  He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t have approached her at all, but he’d known he was going to do it. Ian had known too. Jace had tried to walk away. When she’d turned in the park and started walking back, he’d slipped away to follow her. Watching her hunched shoulders and downcast head, he’d made his decision. He’d needed to know what was wrong. What was making her so sad. If he knew, maybe he could help.

  So here they were in a restaurant, facing each other across a table, and the sexual heat was flowing fast and strong. And he couldn’t fix a damn thing for her. Her grandmother was losing her grip on reality, and nothing could bring that back. He didn’t know from personal experience, but he knew. Dementia claimed its victims, dragging them beneath the surface of memory and reality until they drowned in their own confusion. Nothing fixed that.

  The server arrived, interrupting Jace’s study of her.

  “Hi, I’m Bobby and I’ll be your server today. What can I get the lady to drink?” he asked.

  “Uh, water.”

  “And the gentleman?”

  Gentleman? Jace didn’t know who the dude was kidding, but whatever. “I’ll have a water too. But bring a bottle of your best Cab and two glasses, please.”

  He already knew that Maddy drank red wine or bourbon when she drank. It was in her file. It was also in her file that she didn’t drink often, but he thought she might need it today.

  Bobby lifted one eyebrow. “I can bring sir a wine menu. The best is subjective. And some are pricey.”

  Jace appreciated his honesty, though he also found himself wondering if the guy was thinking he couldn’t afford it. In truth, Jace could afford a lot. Covert work paid very well. It should considering what he risked to get it done. He saved it because he never wanted to be in a position where he couldn’t buy himself privacy or a new identity if he had to. You never knew in this business…

  “You like wine, Bobby?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Red wine?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you choose for me. Just make sure it’s good.”

  “Very well, sir. Did you know what you want to order for lunch or should I come back?”

  “Maddy?”

  “I know what I want,” she said, her voice soft.

  “We’ll order now.”

  Maddy ordered the grilled fish and Jace did the same. Hard to be in Annapolis and not eat fresh-caught fish. Bobby took their menus and disappeared. Jace told himself to act like a normal guy on a date, not a covert operative seeking an angle. “How have you been, Maddy?”

  Green eyes the color of sea glass stared back at him. “I’ve been okay. You?”

  “Fine.”

  “I thought you’d be on a trip somewhere.”

  “Busy here. What about you?”

  She shrugged. “I’ve got a few things to do, but nothing exciting. No trips to Russia.”

  “What about Sokolov’s collection?” He knew she wasn’t being sent back yet, but he asked anyway.

  “I expect to return in a week or two. The job isn’t done.”

  “How much did you finish?”

  “Considering the size of his house, not a lot. But I catalogued about half the icons. Most of the artwork has already been appraised, but my job was to verify. And authenticate his new acquisitions. There were a few.”

  “Anybody else in your organization who can do it?”

  She bristled. “I’m the best. Why would they send anyone else?”

 
“You aren’t worried about going back?”

  Bobby returned with their drinks then. Two waters and a bottle of Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon that he opened with a flourish before pouring a taste into a crystal stem for Jace to sample. Jace sniffed, swirled, and sipped. “Excellent.”

  Bobby smiled. “Very good, sir.” Then he poured two glasses and disappeared.

  Maddy picked up her glass and took a taste. Her eyes closed for the briefest of moments. He thought she might have moaned. “This is really good. But I shouldn’t be drinking at lunch.”

  Jace lifted his glass. Swirled it to release the scent. “Life’s short, Maddy. Drink up.”

  Her sea-glass gaze was troubled. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her it would be all right. Even if it wouldn’t. She tipped the glass up and took another big sip. “You’ve got that right.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “Which question?”

  “Are you worried about going back to Sokolov’s?”

  She twisted the stem of the wineglass on the table, swirling the wine gently. “Are you planning to be there too?”

  Was he? If she went back, then Ian would probably send someone. Just in case. He didn’t know if it would be him. Though he could always insist. Still, he wasn’t telling her that. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

  “Then I think I’ll be safe, don’t you?”

  Her eyes twinkled and it took him a second to realize she was ribbing him. “Cute. You’re safer when I’m there. Don’t you know that by now?”

  She sipped the wine again. “I don’t think you’re safe at all. Jace,” she added softly, as if testing his name. He loved the way it sounded on her lips. Soft, sweet, welcoming. Like coming home.

  No. He shook his head. There was no home for him. No coming home. He didn’t know what that was like. At all. And he didn’t need to grasp at straws now, to wish for it in the arms of a woman he hardly knew.

  “I’m not safe,” he told her. Growled at her, really. He set the wine glass down, leaned toward her. “Don’t you know what this is, Maddy?”

  She licked her lips. Shook her pretty head. Her eyes were wide. Not scared, but slightly shocked. She didn’t speak.