Black List

by Lynn Raye Harris

  “It’s a seduction,” he told her. “I want you beneath me. On top of me. Surrounding me. I’ve never even kissed you, and I want you so badly my knees are weak with it.”

  Her mouth was a soft, round O. Delicate pink heat flared over her cheeks. She lifted her wine glass. Sampled. He could see the pulse beating in her throat. She was a hunted animal, and he was the hunter. He wanted to dominate her. Fuck her into oblivion. Make her feel good and forget her pain.

  She didn’t say anything for a long moment. Then her eyes lifted, and he felt as if she’d speared him. “My heart tells me I want the same thing you do.” She sucked in a breath. “My head tells me you’re bad news and to run. My heart refuses to even stand up.”

  “Here we are,” Bobby said, arriving in a sing-song of server-speak with their meals, which he sat down in front of them with a flourish. “Fish for the lady. Fish for the gentleman. Can I get you anything else?”

  A cold shower? A reality check?

  “Nothing,” Jace said. “Nothing at all.”

  Her heart beat so fast she was dizzy with it. The food was fragrant and appealing, and yet she worried she couldn’t eat a bite because her stomach was twisted with heat and need. He’d told her when he’d dropped her off a week ago she wouldn’t see him again unless he wanted her to.

  Yet here he was. It wasn’t an accident, was it?

  Her brain could hardly wrap itself around the fact. Her body was already pressing the accelerator. Let’s get naked. Now. It’s been too long…

  Yes, it had been too long. But getting naked with Jace—oh my God, she didn’t even know his last name—wasn’t the answer.

  Is too!

  Her body was insistent. Get naked, spread her legs, feel his hard cock inside her. But what if he didn’t know how to use what God gave him? What if he was a lousy lay?

  He must have read the confusion on her face. He took her hand, twisted his finger in hers. “Maddy, I’m not trying to push you into anything. I’m happy to have lunch with you. Talk to you. Get to know you. You don’t have to make a decision right now. I just thought it fair to tell you where I’m headed.”

  Was he for real? Men like this one didn’t tell her they wanted her—but only whenever she was ready. Did they? He just did.

  She didn’t remove her hand from his, but she picked up her fork in the other and gently poked at the grilled fish. Her nerves were a tangled mass of quivering jelly. He squeezed her fingers softly and then let go and picked up his own fork. Doubt pricked her. Should she have bent her attention to the fish? Or should she have kept staring into his eyes and let him know she wasn’t uninterested even if she didn’t know how to tell him she definitely wanted more?

  “Eat, Maddy,” he said gently. “We’ve got time to figure this out.”

  She ate fish and grilled zucchini and fragrant rice and contemplated her life. She’d been devastated over Mimi, but then Jace arrived and threw her a curve ball. And now she couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said. She watched him furtively. He ate his fish, drank his wine, and every movement made her want him more. How was that possible?

  “Why don’t you live in Russia now?” she asked. His head snapped up. She hurried to explain. “You said you moved there as a kid. When did you leave?”

  The lines on his forehead seemed to relax. “About seven years ago.”

  “Is your family still there?” He’d said he had an American parent and a Russian parent. But where did they live now?

  His expression changed. Hardened. He didn’t look up from his food. “No. They are gone now.”

  She picked up on his tone. “Gone? You’ve lost them?”

  His gaze crackled with emotion. He nodded. She reached for his hand impulsively. Squeezed his fingers in hers. She thought he might pull away but instead he squeezed back. “Da,” he said, acknowledging her in Russian. “They are dead.”

  “I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  “I know you are,” he said. “You’re a sweet girl, Maddy Cole.”

  She didn’t want to be sweet. She wanted to be sophisticated. Interesting. Sexy as sin. He said he wanted you, idiot.

  He had said that. Didn’t mean she was sexy as sin though. She stabbed at the fish. It was delicious but it was also hard to taste because she was nervous.

  They finished the meal with small talk she wouldn’t remember an hour from now, then Bobby arrived again and sold them on a chocolate cake that he swore was to die for. Maddy asked Jace if he wanted to share and he said he did. So the cake arrived with two forks, some whipped cream, and two cups of coffee. She’d drank half a bottle of wine and her head was swimming so she reached for the coffee like a lifeline. It was rich and fragrant and she just knew it would fix the swimmy-ness of her head.

  She downed two cups, ate half the cake, and then Jace was asking for the check. “I’ll pay for mine,” she said, rummaging in her purse for her credit card.

  Jace frowned. “I’ve got it.”

  “I can’t let you do that—”

  “You can. I asked you to lunch. I’m paying.”

  Mimi always said never to argue with someone who insisted on paying. You could offer, even offer insistently, but if someone wouldn’t accept your offer you graciously thanked them and let them pay. Which is what Maddy did now.

  Jace dropped several twenties onto the tray and stood, holding out his hand for her. Maddy put her fingers in his, thrilling at the sizzle of heat that passed through her as he helped her to her feet. She was a little unsteady, though not terribly so. It wasn’t the wine anymore because they’d lingered over the cake and coffee for quite some time. It was him. Heat slid through her veins at his touch. Sadness pressed at the back of her mind, but right now she was happy and she didn’t let it bust through her barriers.

  Jace kept holding her hand as he led her from the restaurant. She didn’t question him, just walked along with him until he asked her, “Where did you park?”

  “The garage on Gorman.”

  “Me too,” he told her. “I’ll take you to your car.”

  They walked together, looking in shop windows and laughing at things she would later have trouble recalling. Her heart beat high and hard and Jace was like a sun in her orbit. Intense, hot, full of life. He led her to her car, then backed her against it and caged her between his arms. He was close. So close, his blue eyes hot as they skimmed over her face. He lingered on her lips, which tingled at the touch that wasn’t a touch.

  “I want to kiss you,” he said, his voice deep and throaty and masculine.

  Maddy tried to tell herself why it was a bad idea. Why she was still pissed at him and always would be. He’d shot at her and hand-cuffed her to an airplane seat, for pity’s sake! But it was futile. She wasn’t pissed and she could think of nothing better than a kiss. Nothing she wanted more.

  “Yes,” she said almost helplessly. “Yes.”

  His mouth captured hers hotly, and her body melted like wax beneath a blow torch.

  Chapter Ten

  He’d kissed a lot of women in his thirty-two years of life. None had ever bowled him over with the first touch of her tongue the way this one did. Maddy tasted like coffee and chocolate and wine, and he couldn’t get enough. He’d backed her against her car door, trapped her there, and when she’d said yes to a kiss, well, he hadn’t given her time to change her mind.

  Her fingers curled into his shirt, her head tipped back. She’d opened to him with all the trust in the world. And he took advantage, sliding his tongue into her mouth to tangle with hers.

  The drumbeat of desire pounded in his veins, throbbed to life in his cock. Any second and she’d know it too. He could back away, make sure she didn’t. But he wanted her to know. Wanted her to say yes.

  But then he thought of her standing in the park, her back to him as she stood with hunched shoulders and thought about her grandmother, and he knew that now wasn’t the time. She was sad and lonely and maybe she’d say yes out of a desire to forget her sadness. He didn
’t want that. He wanted to be with her because she wanted it, chose it, not because it was an alternative to her melancholy.

  The hardest thing he ever did was gentle his kiss and put space between them. So she wouldn’t feel the insistent press of his hard-on against her belly. Her fingers still curled in his shirt and her mouth still welcomed him, but now he wasn’t pushing for more.

  The kiss went on for long minutes while he explored her mouth, nipped her lips, sucked the lower one softly between his while she moaned. And then he released her. Her eyes drifted open and she stared up at him, the green depths vulnerable and raw and filled with swirling emotions that told him he was right not to push her into more at this time.

  “You okay?” he asked her.

  She nodded. “You?” Her sudden grin was cheeky.

  His laugh was rustier than he expected. “I will be. Give me your keys, Maddy.”

  She fished them out of her purse and handed them to him. He unlocked her door and shifted them sideways so he could open it. “So this is good bye?” she asked.

  He gave her the keys and stepped away. “For now.”

  She seemed disappointed. He appreciated that. He was disappointed too.

  “Will I see you again, Jace? Or was this an exception?”

  It should be an exception. It needed to be. One afternoon, one kiss, the end. “Give me your phone.”

  She took it out and unlocked it. Handed it to him. “Do you always give orders instead of requests?”

  “Sorry,” he said as he called his number so they would each have the other’s. “It’s a habit. In my business, I don’t make requests when orders are what keeps me and my guys alive.”

  “That makes sense. But try asking me sometime, okay?” The cheeky grin was back.

  He laughed. “I will.”

  “So when will I see you again? I assume giving me your number means I will.”

  “Soon, Maddy. Very soon.” He looped an arm around her, tugged her back in for a kiss. Need sizzled through him, scorched his soul. So sweet. Yeah, this girl was sweet and he wanted so much more.

  But patience had seen him through a lot of tricky situations in his life. It would get him where he wanted to go now.

  “Wow,” she breathed as he ended the kiss. “That’s some secret weapon you’ve got there. Is your mouth licensed to kill?”

  He liked her corny James Bond jokes. He liked her. “No—but it is licensed to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.”

  Her breath hitched. “Only one of the best?”

  “Yeah. Got another weapon licensed for best orgasms too.” Corny, but he was a go with the flow kind of guy. And she made him feel playful. Something he didn’t recall feeling in a very long time.

  “I’m going to withhold judgement for now. You’ll have to prove it to me.”

  His heart flipped. His belly clenched. And his balls squeezed tight at the idea. “I’m planning on it, zvyozdochka.”

  He held the car door for her as she got inside. She twisted the key and looked up at him. “Thank you for lunch, Jace.”

  “You’re welcome, Maddy. I hope it helped.”

  “It did. I needed a friend, and you were there. Who would have thought it a week ago? Life is crazy sometimes.”

  “It can be.” He knew it better than most.

  She hesitated. Then she smiled. “Okay, bye.”

  “Bye.”

  He closed the door and watched her back out of her spot. Then he went over to his car and followed her home.

  Kitty looped around her ankles as Maddy emptied a tin of moist food onto a plate. “Hang on, baby, Mama’s getting it ready.”

  She set the plate down and Kitty dove in like she was starved. She wasn’t because she had dry food in her bowl. Still, she was a cat—and cats wanted what they wanted when they wanted it.

  Maddy gave her a stroke down her back, then straightened and returned to fixing her own meal. It was after seven, later than she normally ate, but the lunch with Jace had been big and she hadn’t been hungry again until now.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about him. About that kiss. Her knees had nearly buckled when his mouth touched hers. Everything about Jace was intense and that kiss had been no exception. It had consumed her. She’d have done anything he wanted right then. But he hadn’t asked. She’d thought for certain he was going to take it as far as she let him. He hadn’t though. He’d stopped.

  At the time, she’d been confused and a little nervous. The more she thought about it the more she wondered if maybe he wasn’t as attracted to her as he pretended to be. Maybe he was back because they needed something from her. She didn’t know what, but she’d watched enough Covert Affairs to know she might still be useful to them.

  “That’s just a silly television show,” she mumbled as she stirred the pasta in her Lean Cuisine before putting it back in the microwave.

  It was a fun show, but she was certain it bore little resemblance to reality in many cases. She couldn’t divine Jace’s intentions based on television.

  Her phone pinged. She picked it up, hoping it was Jace. But it was Angie.

  Can you talk?

  Sure.

  A second later the phone rang. “Hey, babe, what’s up?” she asked.

  “So,” Angie began. “Liam said he saw you today.”

  Maddy’s heart thumped. “And?”

  Angie blew out a breath. “He said you were with a guy. A very sexy guy, I might add. I can’t believe you met a guy and you didn’t tell me about it!”

  Maddy frowned. Oh, boy. “He’s just someone I know. It’s nothing, which is why I didn’t mention him. I ran into him after I went to see Mimi. I was upset and he asked me to lunch. No biggie.”

  “No biggie? Babe, Liam said the guy was big and pretty and sexy as hell. I’d expect, even if it’s nothing, that you might at least introduce me to him if you aren’t interested.”

  “I don’t know him all that well, Ang. He’s a work acquaintance.” Well that was certainly true. Sort of. “Honestly, I didn’t expect to see him today—or ever, really—which is why I didn’t say anything. I met him on a job and never thought to cross paths again.”

  She could practically hear Angie’s wheels turning. “So does he live around here or what? And what’s his name? Do you think you’ll see him again?”

  “He lives in the metro area, but I don’t know where. His name is Jace and I don’t know.”

  Angie sighed. “Okay. Do you want to see him again?”

  Maddy’s belly twisted. Did she? Oh hell yes, she did.

  Insanity, that’s what it was. She’d lost her damned mind. From him capturing her and forcing her onto a plane to lunch today where he’d kissed the daylights out of her, she’d certainly come full circle.

  “I wouldn’t say no if he asked,” she replied.

  “Do you think he will?”

  “I think it’s possible. We exchanged numbers.” Her heart raced and her skin prickled with heat. Maybe she didn’t need to be talking about this, but she suddenly had to tell someone or she’d burst. She and Angie typically talked about everything, but she hadn’t intended to mention Jace unless things got a bit more certain. Since Angie’s coworker saw them at lunch, though, all bets were off.

  “Oooh, sounds like a distinct possibility then. What kind of guy gives you his phone number if he doesn’t want to see you again?”

  “I don’t know. I’m rusty on the whole dating thing, remember?”

  “I know, hon. That’s not your fault though.”

  No, it wasn’t. She’d been taking care of Mimi and building her reputation at Barrington’s. She’d had the occasional drink with a guy, but she wasn’t typically the sort of woman who hopped into bed with a man on the first date. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, but it wasn’t the way she was wired. She needed to know somebody first. Not everything about them, but enough to make her comfortable with the sort of person they were.

  Did she know what sort of person Ja
ce was? She thought so but she couldn’t be certain. Which made her reaction to his kiss earlier a little bit frightening. Like jumping off a mountain without being certain the hang glider was attached.

  “Well, he may not call. Maybe he was just being nice. He could tell I was upset when he ran into me and he was nice enough to ask me to lunch. That might be the end of it.”

  “Except for the part where you exchanged numbers. What else happened?”

  Did she dare tell Angie about the kiss? If she did, her friend would analyze it for an hour at least. Maddy loved Angie but she wasn’t sure she could handle that right now. On the other hand, if she didn’t spill, she’d feel guilty for days. Angie was her bestie and besties were there for each other through thick and thin.

  “He kissed me—but I don’t want to analyze it to death, okay? It was a hot kiss with tongues—and if he’d kept going, I’d have let him screw me right there against the car in public. But he didn’t. He backed away and said good bye.”

  “Honey, a hot kiss with tongues and numbers being exchanged sounds very promising.”

  “I thought so too.”

  “And you said it was nothing.”

  Maddy laughed. “I did, didn’t I? I think I’m trying to set myself up so I’m not disappointed when it doesn’t work out.”

  “Don’t doom the whole thing before it begins. Think positive.”

  “You’re right. I’ll try. So how did your new client meeting go today?”

  “It went well. I think they’ll switch their accounts to our firm.” Angie was a junior accountant with a big firm that had branches all over the country. She’d been a math teacher for a while, until she’d realized that teaching wasn’t her calling. Then she’d gone back to school and got the accounting degree. Maddy wasn’t certain that Angie was happy yet, but she hoped her friend would find the thing that made her excited to get up in the morning. It was disheartening to see Angie push off plans and dreams while she worked hard to make her bosses value her.